Network

'reputable bars' are a crock of shit. you get people drunk, what the fuck do you think is going to happen?

this place has too many goddamn hippies. quit your vegan horseshit and eat some bacon, you'll feel better.

(ooc: lots of bad language in comments, sorry!)

I'm so sick of these dreams, but at least I haven't woken up covered in blood lately. Dream me was kidnapped by her evil vampire "boyfriend", managed to run away, finally learned who her dad was, made it all the way back to school to help save her bestie, and then received a death threat with a bloody stake from the evil vampire "boyfriend". I am so grateful that I didn't receive either of those items when I woke up.

Oh and I found out I'm going to have to go break some asshole out of prison in an attempt to potentially turn evil "boyfriend" back to normal. WHAT IS MY LIFE. Utter shenanigans.

Does anyone want to train in some martial arts or something? I'm really looking for something to help get my mind off this stuff and packing up my apartment isn't really cutting it anymore.

Since we seem to be officially done with kidnappings and destruction by a hungry arachnid, and considering the fourth is approaching fast, I'd say that's good timing to actually break in that firepit we keep talking about.

Barbecue (with vegetarian alternatives), drinks, and fireworks assuming people behave and don't break our things. I will put a bullet in your ass otherwise. This might even work as an engagement/house warming celebration, since our last place got bombed and we haven't showed this place too much.

Just whatever you do, if you bring something, avoid the nuts and the mangos. My life thanks you in advance.

I remember when I was a kid I wanted to go to Disneyland so badly.

Perhaps I will go this weekend, indulge my inner child. Been a long time since I was that kid.

Of course, there's some anniversary or some shit like that so there will probably be lots of people. Just a fuckton of people. And I'm supposed to be taking it easy for a few days.

Ah, fuck it. I'm going to Disneyland.

This Mage situation in Thedas has gone completely out of hand thank you, Anders, but something had to be done, I suppose, to put an official end to the reigning status quo. The politics of it all is tiresome, and being Justinia's 'left hand' in all things is exactly what I pictured it being - emotionally and mentally taxing, while dealing with semantics of finely veiled threats in regards to Orlesian nobles. Unsurprisingly, I do it well. It's...not the road I expected myself going down. But some things are necessary, in the name of change.

Now Justinia's called forth a peace conclave to help ease Mage-Templar relations. I can't imagine a compromise being reached, so I'm going to suspect her orders for forming an official Inquisition will be followed. Cassandra, we're practically co-workers. ♥

Aside from that, I have two new nugs, and now must built a fence around my yard to keep them at. Thank you, Dreams, for making my home adorably crowded.

Date #1 ended with someone choking, then promptly dying on our dinner table. And actual dinner.

Date #2 involved avoiding the general public and eating at the beach, except I've unknowingly developed an allergic reaction to mangos and ended up hospitalized. Briefly.

I don't know whether to be mad or actually be impressed by my spree of unfortunate events, but that urge to shoot something still remains.

I need all my friends who want me to make wedding attire for them to come by Shoegasm so I can measure you. This means you: Ruby, Neal, Pepper, Tony. Am I missing anyone? Are there more engaged folk on here who want a custom bridal gown or tuxedo?

I do shoes, too. Boy, do I do shoes.

shit, I got too stoned

That moment when you make an abundance of macaroni stuffed baked potatoes wrapped in bacon, and then you eat it. Like, all of it. I am, for once, genuinely concerned about my health but at the same time, regret nothing?

Does chewing on salad counter-act all that, or should I just not even try?

My neighbour just got a dog.

It's a puppy. I'm sure it's the cutest thing on the planet but oh god does it yap. Every morning this week. At three in the morning. I work early enough as it is. Jeez.

I'm gonna lose my mind!

So many weddings! So many weddings coming up I can hardly stand it! I love designing for weddings.

If you're getting married and need anything from veils to shoes, I'm your girl. Rarity Designs. Go check out my Etsy Shop!

And congratulations to everyone who's expressing their love and devotion in such a way!

I have got... a horse in my flat. It's brilliant! Well. Won't be for long, not when nature calls, so I've got to get my horse somewhere to his liking. But, the point is: where could I stash my horse until other options become available? The TARDIS has got to

Neal, does the place you work at have any room for Arthur? My horse, not my car. I realise now where my old girl's name came from. Hah!

Is there a Ruby Lucas on the network?

Because, hi, I'm Astrid, and your fiance woke up in my boyfriend's body and do you know where, by any chance, said boyfriend is?

Most awkward morning ever.

All of your Easter flower needs are taken care of if you pop into Flower Alchemy this week we have a selection of easter themed arrangements as well as little extras like bunny pez, cuddly bunnies and a selection of shaped chocolates from local stores.

God, so many dreams last night. My head is swimming today. I don't even remember my own name.

I'm running late. I need a coffee.

"Feed a dog for three days and you get attached." I'm sure that could have been a thoughtful proverb if my dream!me didn't really butcher it.

I went through a cycle of the same dreams, over and over. First about a spell, then actual nightmares from the dream!self. Now there's a city I remember seeing destroyed resurrected with all its previously dead citizens in it. Also the diabolical little shit of a Hellmaster decided to possess Gourry, cover him in armor from head to toe, and then have us almost kill each other. And flare carrots, really?

Head, meet desk. I kind of preferred the dreams where I was stuck in a pink horse outfit for reasons.

This is why citizens of Orange County greet the morning with a cup of booze rather than a cup of joe most of the time.

I asked and almost forgot to give her the ring. But then she said yes, so we're cool.

( And then it was like... )

I guess I'm obligated to share the joy on the network, and then not post about it again for awhile out of fear of being obnoxious. But hey, still in New York until Tuesday so if anyone wants anything from the city, speak up. I will happily play courier.

Between Friday the 13th and Saint Patrick's Day, I'm completely out of good luck charms. I mean, completely. I do not have a single rabbit's foot, four leaf clover (pressed <I>or</I> iron pendant), nazar, hasma, or charm bag left.

Apparently there's been a run of bad luck around the place, so I lit a candle for everyone who's experienced it. I hope your luck is better, this week.

No. No no no no no. I didn't want to have weird dreams but you all INFLUENCED me and I dream I'm some girl-squirrel hybrid and who calls themselves Doctor Doom anyway? Like, did you get a Ph.D in doomery? Must not have, because that guy was eaaaaaaasy to beat. You owe me, Iron Man.

And I really shouldn't be able to lift my sofa with one hand, huh.

THIS IS YOUR FAULT, INTERNET.

If anyone needs me I'll be ... well you'll know where to find me. I'll be dying from embarrassment.

Neal, Garrus (separate but identical messages)
Sorry for uh... spilling my guts and whining like a pathetic five year old.


Cindy, Lina (separate but identical messages)
I'll be over here dead from embarrassment. at least it wasn't as bad as it could be.

I think it might be time for another change. Don't get me wrong, I like being paid to fly around the United States and really take in the sights. But I also hate being away from home, especially for long periods of time. I seem to be missing out on celebrations and things I want to be there for my friends.

But on the other hand, I don't wanna go back to the same hum drum shoppe life, ya know?

Am I bouncing around too much? I think dream me is influencing my decisions too much.

Still no sighting of the TARDIS. If only...

Menu's all set for Friday.

I went through about six revisions. Tonight. Because i'm indecisive. Argued with myself for a good two hours. and here I thought I was doing good. Oh well. Menu's finally set. Cooking will start bright and early.

When I throw a feast, I throw a feast to remember. Or something.

Never been more unsettled at the sight of a watch. Quite ominous, really. Did you know that in many East Asian cultures, it's considered bad luck to give watches (as well as shoes and calendars) as gifts? When such items pass hands, a small sum of money is often exchanged to eliminate the stigma.

I've come home to two surprises too many today.

Okay, for the dreamers out there. Ever wake up.. hurt?

[Filtered away from Tom Prince]
It's not really cheating if it happens in a Dream right?

Because I just dreamt about my dream self losing her virginity to her hunky instructor/fellow vampire slayer.

Awkward.

I mean that thankfully wasn't my whole dream because the crazy "field experience" they put us through was pretty interesting, but that's the thing that really stuck out to me.

And then of course I sense death and turns out that Strigoi invaded the campus, which was where I woke up. I sense a giant battle going on in my next Dream. Goodie.

Note to self: the correct dosage of cannabis for werewolves is crazy hard to pinpoint. Last night was definitely a first.

Okay, so basically there's a drive-through convenience store in San Diego that I need to hit up, just for the experience. Who wants a road trip?

Like literally drive-through. You pull up and can order beer, milk, ice cream, maybe some condoms? I can't decide if that's ingenious or really the epitome of good old-fashioned American laziness.

Don't get any ideas about gas station burritos, Lina.

PERSON NEAL WHO RUNS AN OUTREACH CENTER THAT APPARENTLY LOGAN OWNS:

I didn't know how to get a hold of you. Logan's my ex something something and said you might need help? I like helping, helping is good.

EVERYONE ELSE:

Did you know that KFC in the Philippines has a Double Down hot dog? I kind of want one now, but it also kind of looks disgusting. I think I'd probably only eat it if I was really super drunk.

Edit;
Korea has a Double Down Max, which is a Double Down with a burger in the middle.

NOW I'M HUNGRY

THANKS KOREA

If there's one thing these dreams love to echo, it's this: villains don't get happy endings, even if they're no longer the villain.

I guess my dreams are over, now. It doesn't get much more final than that.

Has anyone ever thought they knew the story they were dreaming, only to have fragments fall into place differently later on? I see everything with so much clarity now that I can't believe how different it all is from when I started.

While I have heard of this place a few times now, I am still uncertain of quite what to make of it.

A big "THANK YOU" to everyone who's been helping me pack up the Old Man's house. I bought hundreds of cardboard boxes (okay, not literally) and they've all been filled. Most of them donated. Some stored. Others went straight to the dump. And my own apartment is almost empty now, too, with me taking several trips a day after work in my brother's mini-van. (Yes, my brother drives a mini-van. Yes, he's been mocked for it.)

The point of the story is that I'm exhausted. Not sure I can do much more of this.

Oh, and I need a new vacuum.

My dreams of the strange land of Skyrim have continued, though I did not see the enormous dragon again. I learned that I am capable of magic instead.

Up to my eyeballs in potential party food ideas. If anyone knows me you KNOW I cook a ton to test first. So if anyone wants to pop by to taste test, feel free to drop by Taste of Home! I'll be cooking like a crazy person.

ETA After Neal's done upgrading my fryers... I am so making fried green tomatoes. All are welcome. if you don't like fried green tomatoes, what is WRONG with you!?

Cindy mcAwesome
Hey. How you doing? We should chat.
Not about that. Or my head. Although my head's part of it.
But I need to be slapped, yo.

Neena
You alive over there? In need of booze filled goodies or real food? I haven't mother-henned in a few weeks.

Is it too early to start planning the after party? Rogue's got moonshine in the works, will most likely cook for an entire army, and we can celebrate no one we liked died. This entire thing is worthy of alcohol indulgence. Probably won't take place for a week or two, but hey! Enough time to make it awesome.

Do us a favor, OC. Try not to lose your shit so we can enjoy some downtime, got it? I will put a goddamn hole in you otherwise.

Now, I usually don't mix candy with alcohol - blech - but I'm going to get my hands on these. Booze filled chocolates. This can either be really good or really gross, but I'm all for trying things at least once.

The Garage is reopening. Under new Management. Come on by for all your car needs.

So metal limbs are sometimes awesome. Was on my way home when I saw this girl getting attacked. She ran off and the dude attacking her got all pissed off and high and mighty and actually started to lecture me. Yeah, that's right. THE GUNMAN lectured me. He shot at me but he hit my automail and it ricocheted right back at him. Heh, dumbass. I wasn't even hiding today.

This crime wave is getting stupid, this was happening during broad daylight mind you.

FILTER: Gwen Stacy
Gwen. Hello! I should've been in touch with you sooner. Been a bit busy, trips and things.

Ah. I wanted you to know that the burning's stopped. I'm alright now.

FILTER: Helena Wells
Checking in on you, as you might expect.  How are you?

FILTER: Cindy Cendrillon & Garrus
Saw your shop's being well-looked after, Cindy. Thought I'd drop you both a line though, see how you're faring.

FILTER: Troy
I lied. Before.

About the Doctor.

FILTER: Clara
No more need to worry about me, Clara. I remembered a dream. No burn! Brilliant.

So! How are you doing? Be honest.

New York! Hell of a city! Quite liked it, though it is a bit smelly, isn't it? Amazing place though--marvelous! Got to take time to make it back there one day. Knew this would happen, caught the travelling bug. Perhaps a bit of running around the country would do me some good. I hear it keeps away unwanted dreams.

And ridiculous criminal activity apparently. Is everyone alright?

Intriguing. I have lived here for nearly a year yet I have not noticed this network until now.

My name is Anatoly Sergievsky and I am never good at introductions. Talking about myself is not something I am skilled at. I am, however, an excellent listener. Or so I am told, anyway.

Nothing says it's the season of love like sitting on your bathroom sink and biting on your toothbrush while your wife stitches up your arm for you. At three in the morning.

Sorry if we woke you up, Nealbear.

Now I have to figure out a way to make this bandage look sexy for my date tomorrow.

It's a bit of an annoyance when habits of who you dream to be in a different world somehow squeeze their way into here. It's almost an instinct to say 'Maker's breath!' in the place of something like 'oh my god!' Or whatever other equivalence there is. Goodness. And there might also be an incoming headache, in regards to my memory suddenly being stuffed by everything that pertains to Andrastian theology.

And darkspawn. Let's discuss those hellish creatures, why don't we?

I'm a bit cranky, and I think it's time for some spiked tea, thank you.

So my boss has moved offices and the new boss is bringing his own PA with him which means I'm looking for a new job.

Anybody need an assistant?

[Image behind cut! food porn]

You know, I always wondered how I'd die.

I always knew it probably wouldn't be pretty. I won't be in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren with a tub full of jell-o beside me, because by then I would have lost all my teeth and I'd have a gelatin diet. I thought I'd probably get shot. Or I'd do some epic suicide mission with a bunch of explosives strapped onto me. You know, heroic crap.

But now I know how I'm going to go. And the way I'm going to die is by eating these for breakfast for the next couple years. ( BEHOLD )

And I'm really, really okay with that. Just let me go the way I was meant to.

I'm pretty sure the whole 'I'm On A Boat' song pretty much explains most of what I just dreamed about. But hey, it's a cool thing. Usually people have to take some kind of drug for shit like that. And this is free.

No complaints. Yet. But, yeah. I was on a boat. A big one. I even got the tickets for it, but I'm pretty sure the boat historically sank, too.

( [cut for trigger warnings; Snape talking about his wife's death... but it's a public post] )

I had thought my dreams were at an end. I mean, my own death feels like a pretty solid ending, one would think?

But they've started again. I don't know quite how it happened, only that I managed to not only escape the crocodile that was attempting to swallow me whole, but I killed it, stuffed it, and used it as a clock. For irony's sake, I suppose.

Pan never came after me again. In fact, he started spending longer and longer stretches of time away from Neverland. As it turns out, he'd found a reason to stay in London. He'd found a wife.

Peter Pan, grown up. Who would have thought it.

So thanks to last night's little incident, I suppose I'll make some kind of 'magical public announcement,' though healing isn't really my expertise. (And Severus, this might be more up your alley, to be honest.)

Should anyone, for whatever reason, get shot, run over, stabbed, and whatever other bodily injury is going around these parts thanks to the area's infestation of illegal activity, there are people who can help speed up the healing process in unconventional ways.

So if anyone with the ability to wants to provide their services, make yourselves known in case.

If there is someone on this network at all familiar with shelters or things similar, I would very much like to learn what is available for I am new and interested in continuing work in such places. It may be good to learn what other things exist here, because surely there are many things to do here. I would be very grateful for any information. My name is Vilya.

So here's my New Year so far:

Got married on New Year's Eve, though it was so early in the morning it might as well have been New Year's Day. At least I won't be able to forget my anniversary date. That's a point in the good column.

Friend mysteriously re-appears from the dead. Drama, but I guess we'll put that in the good column.

Other bestie gets possessed by darkness which we inevitably end up cutting out of him the medieval way. He dies. Points in the bad column. He comes back. Points in the good column, but God. Damn, 2015, lets not make this a pattern.

Bar fight of epic proportions, and me so drunk that I'm still hungover a few days later? Well, at least the wife's learned how to use surgical staples. The bar owner isn't pressing charges, but I'm pretty sure I cracked a rib. Points in both columns.

What a hell of a way to start THIS year off.

I'm probably going to get arrested tonight.

Helloooooo Orange County! How are all of you beautiful, beautiful people?

I am Lalna and I am conducting an extremely sober survey. I have reasons. They aren't secret or anything but I'm going to pretend they are because I like the allure of mystery.

If you feel so inclined, please answer the following questions;

( OFFICIALLY UNOFFICIAL ORANGE COUNTY SURVEY OF WEIRD MOTHERTRUCKIN' DREAM CRAP )