Network

Who's got two thumbs, a 8-0 fight record, and a hot boyfriend moving in with him in an official capacity?

Okay, there might be another guy in the exact same situation somewhere, but it's me. I mean me.

Ever put something on from your dreams and then have a really hard time convincing yourself to take it ofF?

Ways to Get Bloodstains Out of Sheets:

1. Hydrogen peroxide + lemon juice
2. Crushed aspirin paste!
3. Meat tenderiser, but only the unseasoned kind
4. Spit
5. Other methods?

I'm really hoping my dreams sod off for a bit. Peter Pan's supposed to be this diabolical genius and he couldn't figure out how a door worked, apparently there aren't any in Neverland?

Paris was so much fun that I almost didn't want to get back on the plane. But now that I'm home, I think it's good to be back. Vacations are wonderful, but I missed everyone. And I think there's something to be said for getting back to some kind of daily routine.

I have so many presents from France to people! It's going to take me all night to sort through everything. I think I'm glad I mailed some of this back home so I didn't have to worry about taking it on the plane with me.

How is everyone? I heard I missed some Orange County strangeness?

I'm not sure why I'd need to divulge any personal information on here as people seem to be doing.

But in any case this seems like a very avid and reliable source of communication, especially if there is an emergency. Speaking of which, Hello, my name is Cullen and I'll be the new acting Captain of the county's fire department.

Please feel free to contact me for an emergency of any kind that does not involve rescuing cats from trees.

That awfully awkward and mildly morbid moment when you've woken up to a longbow you picked up from your ex-lover's dead body in these damned silly little dreams. I suppose every girl could use a souvenir from a relationship gone horribly wrong? Is there any formal etiquette that gives you a guideline to what to do with it? Aside from actually using it, anyway, or hanging it up like a prop above your mantle.

Or allowing your pet to gnaw on it, as Schmooples found that to be socially acceptable.


( Private to Isabela )

Hey, have the dreams given anyone else presents?

Woke up this morning to a fucking nightmare about asexual man-eating rabbits nearly overrunning LA and threatening to overrun the entire continent, only to die en masse because the first fucking rabbit ate candy or something.

Happy fucking Easter Sunday.

Don't think I'm gonna be able to eat sweets again for a while.

What was that bullshit I dreamed last night?!

Alistair! May I bring this set piece home after we are done with it? I think it will make your living room look fantastic.

I've got my passport all updated, and I even managed to get a passport picture that doesn't look horrible! The last time I'd gotten one was when I was a younger teen, and it's amazing to see them side by side and compare them. You never think about how a few years might change your looks since it happens so gradually, but there's the proof.

Also brushing up on my French. I haven't really had a good reason to use it since aramis-- lately, but I'm going to need it now! I'm really excited about this, I can't wait until next Wednesday!

I like to complain about what social networking is doing to our children and their vocabulary, but the truth is that when you've got a family as big as mine - most of them with zero forwarding addresses - you end up pretty desperate for email. And even though I don't really always have time for it, it's nice to have the whole Clan over on Facebook. Yes, Facebook. It's a has-been for the 'cool kids' now, I guess, but it gets us all in one place when we need it. Not that I needed to see fifteen wall updates from my cousin and his crazy band shenanigans (Seriously, Harren, put a shirt on), but it's nice to get to see my mother's photographs, or give them all updates on my progress.

My agent keeps telling me to make myself a professional sports page, but I don't see the point. Competitive Archery isn't as popular as things like gymnastics, and I don't want to end up turning into a 'Norana is not impressed' meme if I end up in the wrong spot on the podium. I think this account will work fine for now.

So hello, Orange County. I'm Norana, and I'm new here. As you can see, I have a huge family, none of which actually live anywhere around here, which means I have zero connections. Can someone point me to A: A good range to practice at and B: A good place to get a drink?

Hello. I'm new to the area on business and a little bird directed me to this network. I was told it would be useful.

There must be something terribly wrong with me. Every place I've gone to run an errand, I have encountered people who dress less than appropriate, and vocalized every single thing wrong with their ensemble.

Someone even threw their shoe at me. It was not a very pretty shoe, so I suppose they couldn't really consider it a lost...

Yes, yes, it is true. I am once again off the market for dating and romancing. Please, no tears, we do not wish to flood the streets with salt.

Two lunkheads broke into my house recently and they were carrying a paintball gun and a baseball bat. And they had stockings on their heads! Who actually does that? Luckily we got the living room window fixed relatively quickly but I took a shot for the team and ended up with a bruise the size of a baseball on my side. Bloody paintballs hurt.

I think I'm going to drown myself in the comforts of the crêpe food truck outside Stark Industries. Plus, my dreams have been-- Talking about it in public seems odd-- jfdfjklajkldls;a

( Private to Lydia )

Previously in dream land I dreamed about my cat who turned into a demon. Now, I've had a dream where I was forced to fight a demon who turned into a giant cat (though I'm pretty sure fighting giant demon cat came before running from medium sized cat demon).

I have no idea of my dream world has a weird penchant for cats and demons, or if it's just me.

At least Sir Pounce-A-Lot will protect me from any mean nasty demons that come my way here.

Nothing like having a dream about a Grey Warden a Mage someone blowing up the Kirkwall Chantry. That caused a great deal of problems for the Mages and Templars and just about everyone all over Thedas. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that no one else blows up any more important places. Gives me a headache just thinking about the Mage/Templar rebellion.

Well, I had a fantastic weekend (first one in ages) which I guess decided to end itself by giving me more of those weird dreams. And was visited by the Dream Fairy I've heard so much about. I now have the dress I've been wearing in my dreams. And also have figured out a pretty big draw to why I'm wearing it.

I've also escaped this Circle place a number of times, which leads me to one very important question. How is it possible for an entire country to smell like dog shit?

Allegedly posting on here will get me more publicity for my bouts, but I doubt it. This seems kind of like a niche site. At least there's nobody posting in that weird shorthand kids like. Ur is actually already a word, and it doesn't mean "you're". Look it up.

I'm Bull.

I do wish that I would stop dreaming about being pulled along behind a horse in chains, and being woken up by a woman wearing armour kicking me in the head. At the very least, if I could stop waking up with a splitting headache, that would be nice. Though, maybe that's a hangover...

It's a bit of an annoyance when habits of who you dream to be in a different world somehow squeeze their way into here. It's almost an instinct to say 'Maker's breath!' in the place of something like 'oh my god!' Or whatever other equivalence there is. Goodness. And there might also be an incoming headache, in regards to my memory suddenly being stuffed by everything that pertains to Andrastian theology.

And darkspawn. Let's discuss those hellish creatures, why don't we?

I'm a bit cranky, and I think it's time for some spiked tea, thank you.

Hello, people of the internet! I guess it's about high time I start meeting people; I've been here long enough. So uh, hi! I'm Anders. I volunteer at the free medical clinic in Santa Ana. Maybe I've met a few of you before.

So. In lieu of anything to talk about and the fact that strangers always love cats, here's my cat. His name is Sir Pounce-a-lot. And he's just the cutest wutest little thing in the whole world.

( Sir Pounce-A-Lot! <3 )

Hello! I'm Naga and I'm new in town. I'm just settling in and I've been going through the job listings and I have a couple of them circled but is it just me or do some of the jobs out there sound really ... Off? I mean, Hot Dog choreographer? Head of Potatoes? MILF Commander?

It's so hysterical I'm laughing.

And who would hire a suspicious fisherman?

So, what does one usually wear to a wedding in a shrine in Japan? I don't think my suit of armor will work.

We just had someone try to steal the cattle.

It's 2015, I'm pretty sure cattle rustling went out of style a long time ago.

Well, hello there, lovelies. Here I thought I'd be greeted by sun, but the new year has other plans.

I'm Leliana. I come from everywhere.

Maker's Breath.

This city is getting worse and worse, I swear. Someone please tell me they've seen a blood mage running about causing mischief? None of my normal informants seem to be working.

November 13th.

How does that sound for our little party? We'll rent a fancy hotel room.

Je ne vais pas être dissuadés. Je sais ce que je dois faire pour mon pays, je sais que je dois nous défendre. Même en cette période étrange, dans ce lieu étrange, je vais protéger la France. Pour la liberté, pour la famille.

Everything is sore. You'd think that wouldn't have hurt as much, considering.

[Pepper]

Are you all right?

I think Rita is asking me in a stealthy way for 'marital aids' for herself.

Ask and ye shall recieve! I have a few hundred spares, consider them en route. (Really, I find this whole thing funny. I have not had a dalliance outside of work in a while.)

Ollie, would you like to add to her care package(s)?

It was you that wanted to be a dear and help out with creating cookies for this underwear party we are having, was it not?

And I could not for the life of me remember the name of the cookie I had in mind, and would you believe it was named so plainly? Lace cookies. I really wonder sometimes if my brain isn't completely stuffed with air.

Anyway, I found a recipe and - really a very entertaining article - about the cookies I had in mind. I thought I would share it, and see if you had ever baked something like it before!

And other people who aren't Navi, well... you are also welcome to try baking these delicious, fragile, lacy little beauties. I plan to dust mine with powdered sugar when I try it myself.

Recipe and pictures!

Ladies who will be attending Natasha's soiree, please let me know your favorite colors here. You may text me your measurements [here] so that they remain private.

I have no idea how my life has come to this point. I'm terribly amused.

You can all blame Lulu for this idea, but I want to do a sexy lingerie party. She'll be designing the underwear.

Ladies only.

I'm glad to see my love life is relevant again. Too bad it's nonexistent.

I would like to state that I have not done anything illegal this month, and certainly not falsification of evidence.

It is Sunday and it is slow at my magic shop.

Let us have some more confessional. You all seem to enjoy that.

Do you have a 'bucket list'? If so, name something that is on it. I will start, of course.

I saw no reason to have a 'bucket list' when I was dying before, but I think I will start one up, now. I am not certain the types of things that should go on these, and perhaps this point will get me in trouble with my girlfriend, but I have put 'kissing a man at least once' on my list.

Awful confessions of the night: I can't stop listening to Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx on the Rock of Ages soundtrack. Cannot. Stop.

Tell me your awful confessions.

Rory's birthday party is tomorrow. I think I might be more excited than she is.

Cake!

I do not understand why fans of mine send me their underthings. As someone who does not wear them, there is little point! Perhaps they are trying to send some sort of signal? A distress sign? I jest. I know they mean for them to be seen as a sign that they want to have sensual interludes with me, but alas, I am only one man. I cannot get to everyone.

Though I do try, and I like to think that means I am a man of character. Hello! I am Zevran, but you may call me Zev.

I was wondering when I'd finally see more disaster in my dreams.

I knew it was right not to trust Anders. Only an idiot could've thought that plan would come off without any consequences.

( Gortoz A Ran - J'attends )

Maman always swore bad things happen in three, always. She would tell me, "Fleur, mon amour, il faut toujours être vigilant," or I must always be watchful for these things. I think she is just a little paranoid about such things. Today she was full of these wise words when I talked to her. There was no convincing her a stress fracture was hardly an omen of bad things to come. I am a dancer, injuries happen. It is not anything major. One of those air cast things, few days rest, and a short break from dance. That is it.

It has just been a long week.. Bill, let's run away for the weekend.

The more I dream of Tevinter, the more I dearly hope someone obliterates the Maker-forsaken place.

Oh, poor me. I have no plans for this Friday night. I sure hope someone will ask me out for dinner and a movie.

Figures I would get stuck in a hospital right before a huge event like the Stark Gala.

I feel like I have to say something here... it is not right that such a wonderful woman should go missing, and no one speak of it.

Natasha Romanoff, I was supposed to be your employee, but I would rather have simply been your friend. I like to think that you have simply wandered off into a new life somewhere, with your attractive lady actress friend, but I doubt that this is so. It is a better story than the one I fear we will write for you eventually, but it is not, I fear, a truthful one.

If you are both still out there, I pray you return swiftly to us. You are in our thoughts.

I can go to this Gala thing on my own correct? Without looking too pathetic?

I mean I am sure I will end up talking to many people when I am there anyway. I have never been one to be a wallflower.

So who's all going to the Gala? And when is it happening?