Network

Interesting thing about Dreaming you're in the Star Wars universe - other than discovering that it actually exists...somewhere - is that every where you look you can find something with Star Wars slapped on it: Books, movies, toys, you name it.

So in my Dreams the Big Bad is this guy who is only known - to us anyway - as The Inquisitor. He's a pretty fucking intimidating dude, tall, with a long gaunt face, sharp teeth, red streaks coming down from his eyes. He's currently employed by the Empire to hunt down and kill Jedi during the purge. This guy has taken a particular interest in me and my crew, even somehow projecting an image of Jedi Master Luminara Unduli, whom he killed by the way, to lure other Jedi into a trap. And, yeah, I fell for the trap, very much like an idiot. In my defense, though, they used her bones to lure me and my padawan to her cell where we were ambushed. We managed to get away, because we're pretty fucking awesome like that, but Jesus Christ, this guy has issues. Like...creepy stalker issues. I've been looking over my shoulder since he first made his debut in the Dreams just in case he shows up here.

So what does this have to do with all the Star Wars merch that's out there? Well, as I was looking through Amazon trying to get ideas for gifts for the holidays, I found this little Lego representation.

Pffffhauahahahahaha! Look at him! Just look at him! I can't stop laughing!

Eichhorst never stops being a thorn in our side. He planned a bombing at police headquarters. Sent some of the non-sentient Strigoi with bombs sewn into their stomachs and they exploded, infecting a large number of the people there. Vasiliy was there. He didn't get infected. Eph was called in to look at the leader of the movement against the Strigoi, Councilwoman Feraldo. I tagged along. Got to catch up with Vasiliy. I told him that Nikki left New York without me. He said he wasn't coming back to his apartment where Eph and I were living, that he was living at the Mayfield Hotel. He liked it better there. Fewer chances for disappointment, he said.

I know I broke his heart. I know he wants nothing to do with me. I know these are just Dreams. It shouldn't hurt so much when a Dream rejects you.

My assumption that my Dreams were over was a little...well it was wrong. Very wrong. And actually, I'm kind of happy about that. Has any one else had a time skip in their dreams in which things have obviously happened and changed, but you haven't had the chance to actually see them?

I heard some hipsters talking about a program they found that guides them through writing their own 8 bit video games. It's the first time I've been jealous of a hipster. I wonder what kinds of video games people are out there writing. Honestly, I bet there are some really creative ones out there.

I've had the same song stuck in my head for two days and I don't even know when the last time was that I heard Tubthumping.

Also, Dreams have ended. Saved a planet from being blown up...or pulled out of orbit...or whatever physics happens when you blow up a planet's moon. Killed a count of the Empire, tricked a captain of a Star Destroyer into doing it, revealed that I'm a Jedi to a girl and got to go with said girl. All in all, not a bad way to end, all things considered.

Still though...Tubthumping?

Frantic wedding month starts out with waking up looking like a complete albino thanks to Dream Set #3 - white hair, don't care. My magic is zilch for the next couple days and I caved into getting coffee for the first time in what's probably been a year, but the next time I hear someone say 'ohhh she started Halloween early,' this hot pumpkin spice latte is going to be poured over their crotch.

So far it's a similar timeline with some differences, such as: the Queen of my home kingdom hates me, my sister's level of psychosis has risen a couple notches to the realm of potential abuse, and there's rumors going around in which I'm actually a 500-year-old reincarnation of a demon lord. There's a couple comforting constants, with Gourry still being an idiot and...well, no, that's really the only comforting constant. Still won't hand over the Sword of Light, either. What a bummer.

On the bright side, I woke up to a crap load of treasure salvaged from a bandit camp that mysteriously went up in flames. You know your life's made a complete turn-around when instead of hoarding the goods to yourself, it's all going into your child's college fund even if she's only barely five months old.

That also means I have some tiny clothes to get rid of because of time going too goddamn fast and her chunk factor increasing, if anyone needs 'em.

It's international Talk Like a Pirate Day today. Yeah, I know it's one of those made-up internet holidays, but whatever. I'm gonna spend the day annoying the crap out of my roommate with pirate talk.

Also, rum.

Well, I'm dreaming again. The last time I dreamed I parted ways with Vasiliy who saved my life numerous times and Setrakian who gave me my silver sword. I did that to dedicate myself to my girlfriend only to find out that she intended to leave the quarantined zone without me. I was alone for some time, then I found some of my hacker friends who had survived. Well, I have no idea how they survived. I've had to teach them a few things and I think they're bitter towards me or think I'm uppity or something because I know more about the Strigoi than they do. Even though I know more about the vampires and survival than all of them put together, my friend Braden has made himself sort of the leader of our group and he's decided that we should sweep an upscale apartment building to gather supplies. I think it's foolish. The building is outside the 'safe zone', the area that's been swept by the police and government, but Braden insists that the reward is worth the risk. The others are buying into his bullshit and I refuse to let them die. I'm going in there with them strictly to protect them.

Spent the last few days on the floor in my new apartment because I don't have a bed yet. But I've got a fantastic sleeping bag. (AKA, Anyone selling an old bed? Know where I can get one cheap?)

Sorry, Wash, that I didn't have more comfortable accommodations for you. I bet you're glad to be back home.

I never want to be sick like that again.

I hope everyone else is recovering.

Is it so much to ask that everyone I care about be healthy and in one piece?

In other news, my mother is recovering nicely. A visit is being planned for October, so all of you will be meeting the cutest British married couple on the face of this Earth in a month. They're curious about how I'm living my life over here so shhh, don't tell them anything scandalous.

Well, my parents' visit will be delayed. That's alright. It's just a delay. You'll still all get your chance to show a lovely British couple a good time on American soil. Promise.

Well, my parents will be paying their very first visit stateside in September, it seems. Since my place is a one bedroom they intend to stay in a hotel. They're still ironing out the details. I can't wait to show them around. Unfortunately, their dog Boss is too big to tag along or he would love to meet Olivia, I'm sure. I'd like for my parents to meet some of you, if that's alright. I know some people get itchy around their friends' parents.

So of course after I bought Olivia the nicest, comfiest dog bed I could find she decides that she much prefers my bed. She burrows beneath the sheets and curls up behind my knees. Sometimes during the night she runs off and hops onto the couch in my living room. I think it's because she gets too warm.

I don't know what I'm going to do when I have people over.

Well, that's that! Wendy and Jack came all the way from England to watch me walk ten feet and get some fancy piece of paper, wrote my final final on Friday and I'm pretty sure I passed everything, and Wendy gave me a fucking car. Maaan, everything's coming up Katou.

[Private to Kanan]

So nice of you to volunteer to teach me to drive. When do we start?

Anyone know a way to stop a recurring dream? I'm running out of alcohol.

So there's a real bitch at the water cooler.

I just invested in these beautiful heels. Black suede, pointed toe, gold studs on the back down the heel. Vaguely sexy. Nothing inappropriate for work. I go to refill my coffee. This woman whose name I haven't even caught yet tells me "Bold fashion choice. I would never wear fuck-me heels to work, but that's a personal decision." then she turns and leaves. Who pissed in her cereal this morning?

Hi there.

Fancy little network you guys have here.

Oh hey, Valarnet, what's going on? The world hasn't ended today, can I get a 'hell yeah'?

Kind of funny that we base our days on that, but what can you do.

I don't have much else to share besides IT'S A BOY!!!11! which we found out a little after Valentine's Day, and we're currently doing up the nursery (safari theme, very not cheesy or related to Neverland or fairy tales, thank fuck). Which brings me to my question: Anyone out there make furniture, or know someone who does? Em and I were interested in getting a rocking chair for the nursery, and I thought something hand-crafted would be nice. There are still a few months 'til we'd need it, so hopefully that's enough notice.

Maaaan, apparently I got the worst fucking luck imaginable.

There ain't no one out there looking for a place to live, is there? Real cool house, even cooler roommate.

Sometimes I think Dream me is suicidal. He takes on one of the most dangerous jobs in the area, mouths off to the Empire - the people he's trying to hide from - and gets into fights as though that's what he lives for. And just when I think he's probably the most miserable asshole in the galaxy, he goes and saves some jackass from a mining cave-in and in doing so blows his entire cover.

So, yeah, basically I'm the galaxy's worst Jedi. Sounds about right.

My dreams just keep getting better. There was this big battle against an army of Darkspawn. Really nasty creatures that want to kill us all and blight the land. And we lost. But we got rescued by a witch who made her daughter Morrigan go with us when we left to...save the world somehow, I'm sure. Our first stop was this little village named Lothering where we met a rather lovely red-head and freed a Qunari from a cage.

Those poor people though. They were right in the way of the Darkspawn army and they don't really stand a chance.

We set out for a place called Redcliff to try to drum up our own army when I woke up.

To find a gigantic Mabari war hound sleeping at the foot of my bed, and my staff leaning against the wall.

Do these things just happen and Alistair why didn't you warn me!

It's rather exciting mind you.

I think I'll call him Barkspawn.

He's in my dreams again. This time I'm saving him from police custody. He blew up the entrance to a subway tunnel to prevent vampires from coming into Red Hook and the cops took him in for it. My friend, a doctor, taught them how to recognize the infected in exchange for Vasiliy's release. The assholes roughed him up when they brought him in. My dreams don't paint a very flattering picture of New York's law enforcement, but they really did seem lovely when I was vacationing there.

In other news, my mum's health is looking up. She's actually still in the hospital getting anti-fungal medication being watched because of her asthma, but she's doing much better.

Yeah, so, you know those dreams you guys keep talking about? I had one.

At least I think I had one. I was a little kid in it at some temple, somewhere? I'm in a class, I think, like on a field trip or something, only it's all very sci-fi and we're getting a lesson about Jedi.

Yeah. Mother fucking Jedi. I haven't even seen the new movie, so why am I dreaming about Jedi?

Ok, to those of you who actually live here: What the hell is with this fog?

Well, since it looks like I'm going to be here for a while, may as well try some good ol' fashioned social networking to see if I can find some good places to eat, a few dives to drink at and overall have some fun while I'm here.

Names Kanan.