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Why is it so hard for people to believe I'm a PI? Is it because I'm barely over five feet tall? Short people can be PIs too. Honestly, people. I'm licensed and everything.

Oh, and hi. I'm Veronica. Or Ronnie if you're feeling brave.

It's only taken me five months to sort out the kinks and convince the landowners to let me buy use the land for my horses but I am officially opening my stables. We'll eventually run horse-riding lessons and group outings as well as letting people board their horses here if they want to. I really miss horses, so this'll be a nice place.

We're near a trail so anyone who wants to spend a nice day on horseback can come see me and I don't mind taking you out. I've got about a dozen horses so far and almost all of them are rideable.

Edit: Anyone who loves horses and knows a thing or two about them is welcome to come and work here, there's lots to do and only a small team (so far) doing it!

Tonight's the soft opening of my new restaurant. Grand opening's this weekend.

This is it. Make or break time. Part of me can't believe I'm finally here.

Ain't nothing like trying to plan a wedding and really having no idea what the hell you're doing. At least I ain't had no new dreams in a while, I'm going to take that as a win at this point.

At least someone in my house is enjoying all this snow - we can't even open the door with the dog running out to play in it. Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that his fur gets soaked through and he hates when we try to dry him off so he ends up shivering and then he wants to lay where it's warmest only to do it all over again next time the door opens.

I gotta remind myself not to wait until the last minute to finish up my Christmas shopping, but I'm done and the gifts are wrapped. Even if they look like a drunk monkey wrapped them, still it's the thought that counts and not the presentation. Or some shit like that.

My dreams, well, they're something else. The group that found me after Beth was taken are a mean bunch, although I can appreciate the fact that they don't like liars and thieves. Still, I know that they're tracking my people, and I'll do everything I can to stop them from hurting any of them.

More dreams, this is what I get for falling asleep on the couch while watching TV. Beth and I found ourselves holed up in a funeral home. She'd hurt her foot by stepping in a small animal trap, so I had to carry her up to the place. It looked well taken care of, but we couldn't find the person that'd been taking care of the place. Things were looking up a bit, then I heard a dog barking outside. Checked it out once, the dog ran away and then when it happened again later that night I went to go check again only to find that there were walkers outside.

Too many of them. Told Beth to get out while I held them off, and by the time I caught up to her someone had grabbed her, tossed her into a car and drove off. Only thing I saw was a big white cross on the back of their car. I trailed them as best I could until I couldn't find anymore traces of where the car had gone, now I can only think that the worst has happened to her and probably will happen to me too with the group that's just stumbled upon me in my dreams.

Depressing dreams aside, I do hope that everyone has a good Thanksgiving out there. I hope it's filled with laughter, love and all things good in the world.

I swear I’m waking up more and more from these Dreams feeling more exhausted than I did when I went to bed the night before. Claire’s parents showed up and were kind of pissed I think that she was living with us, and kind of accused me of taking advantage of her when I took her money, until I showed them where I’d just set it aside to hold onto for her and hadn’t used any of it. And explained that her living there was safer for her because of everything that had been going on at the dorms and how injured she’d gotten. Everything was going great - we were having a nice dinner with them and then her dad found the beers in the fridge and there was no way for me to make that situation any better. They gave Claire two days to pack her stuff and be ready to leave with them - not just my house but Morganville as a whole. She doesn’t want to go but…I can’t afford for things to get messy. I can’t afford for it to get out that I’m a ghost. The whole situation in my dreams is enough to give me a headache trying to figure out.

And as if that’s not enough for one dream - Claire told Shane about me being a ghost and well he didn’t believe her but who would right? I guess my materializing in front of them that evening changed his mind about whether or not she was telling the truth. Kind of hard to deny you’re living with a ghost when they materialize out of thin air that way right? But it gets worse - the vampire who killed me? Showed up at the house and Claire invited him in without realizing who he was. I threw him out but he used his voice to hypnotize Eve to open the door and let him in.

I’m not sure whether I should be glad or disappointed that I woke up right then so I don’t know what’s going to happen next.

I'm excited for my first Thanksgiving. An entire holiday about family and food? Lots of food? I'm here for it.

I ain't never been claustrophobic, but this morning I woke up feeling that way. I guess spending the night in the trunk of an abandoned car will do that to a person. Still ain't found anybody yet, it's just Beth and I out there. Girl wants her first drink, and we managed to find a bottle of Peach Schnapps at a country club we stumbled upon. Told her that her first drink wasn't going to be any damn Peach Schnapps, and so we headed back into the woods to this place I'd found with another one of our group before. It's an old moonshiner's place, reminded me of home in my dreams, and well we got into the shine.

Decent stuff, so I'm glad that Beth got a good first drink. In the end we burned it to the ground, a cleansing of my past or some meaningful bullshit like that. I'm glad, however, that I did get to share that with her.

[Private to Rick]
Sorry if I was an ass this morning. I was a little hungover from the dreams. But we have some good shine and a bottle of Schnapps if you want to partake.

I had the WEIRDEST dream last night, and I think it was one of those DREAM dreams, you know? Like you guys all have?

But how do I know for sure?

More dreams, our group is still split up. I got Beth with me, young girl, full of piss and vinegar. I think she don't think I care about finding the rest of them, but I'm just trying to figure out where to start. I'm also wondering if they're still alive out there.

God knows I hope they are.

We managed to get everyone on the up-and-up, well those that could be saved. Found out that one of our own had been banished over killing two that they thought were sick during the start of it. She'll be alright though, she's a survivor, but in my dreams I wasn't real happy over it.

We were headed, Rick and I, to tell Tyrese about it then all hell broke loose. The damn Governor came knocking with a fucking tank at the prison gates. I gotta admit that I felt pretty badass when I tossed a grenade down the barrel of the tank, but now the group is all over the place after the fight. It's just Beth and me out there by ourselves, and hopefully we'll find the rest of them before too long.

( Cut for possible triggers; blood and gore. Viewable to all )

this is the greatest thing i've ever found. outside of lavalantula and pirhanaconda, but i'm sure you'll all appreciate the great music i found. and by appreciate, i mean never appreciate, but it will be worth it you're all very welcome in advance.

Been damn hot lately, not as hot as it is back east though. Hard to believe that some places out there hit over 100 today. I'm thankful that it's not so bad here, but it's been draining working out in the heat this summer. I just might be getting too old for it.

I'm having a little birthday BBQ thing on Friday afternoon/evening if you'd like to come along. Nothing formal or anything, just some good food and drink.




[OOC: Leon, Daryl, Sharon, Raven, Dorian, Tessa. If you think you are a friend of Riza's you are or if you want to be then we can handwave a backstory]

Losing people in the dreams is always hard. Especially when it's someone so young. It'd been awhile since something like that had happened, and I still feel shaken up about it. Now we've got this flu, or some sort of virus to deal with too in the prison. I'm just hoping that we'll be able to get the drugs that are needed to help save those back at the prison that have caught the virus.

This is a public service announcement. My name is Rick Grimes. I live at [address] where my family and I have holed up after this incident started. I got no answers for what's happening since this is nothing I've dealt with myself. I can tell you we don't have any pockets coming through here.

So far? We're safe here and we're well-fortified.

If anyone needs a safe place to seek shelter, you're welcome here.

Summer squash is overflowing my gardens. I've been reading up on some recipes. I liked this one since it was a catch-all bake with multiple squash used. Rachael Ray has a simple saute which turned out really well once I added zucchini to balance out the red pepper.

It's a good time to be a farmer. That's for sure.

Watching this makes me feel better about my own cooking skills.

Found a little baby today out on the job site. No worries though, he, his siblings, and his mom are all fine. They've been taken to the vet, and a foster has already been found for all of them. I'm just glad he was a little screamer or else we might not have found them before something bad happened.

That last dream I had wasn't apparently over, seems as if I woke up half way through it or something. My brother and I parted ways from the main group since they didn't want him back at the prison. I can't say as I blame them. I trust Merle as far as I can throw him. The entire time I was gone all I could think about was getting back there to help them. Merle didn't understand it, but then again that bastard's only ever been loyal to himself.

I went back though, and he followed. Seems like I was just in the nick of time to save someone close to me too so I'm thankful for great timing.

It'd been about a month since my last dream. I knew they weren't over since in the last one I was captured by a man and his group of survivors, only to be brought face to face with my brother who I thought died back in the beginning of my dreams. He'd been living with them, they'd found him, helped him heal and took him in.

Doesn't surprise me any. Merle's a dick so he fits right in with that bunch.

We made it out of that place, Woodbury it's called, and made it out safe in my last dream. Though not without some casualties on their part. I got a feeling this ain't the last we're going to see of that guy, the man who calls himself The Governor.

Okay so I'm just checking tumblr while waiting for my dog to finish his business out back and I stumble across this.

( Cut for length, not filtered )

All I can think is that is one badass hippo and I would not want to mess with it.

[Filtered to Daryl Dixon]

I don't know if you're still looking for those dinosaur shaped nuggetsm but I found them at [Name of grocery store]. And I'm not ashamed to admit that I bought about 10 bags to throw in the freezer here at the house.

The phrase ‘can’t hit the broadside of a barn’ comes to mind. Have these guys had any training at all?

TGIF. I got the weekend off, finally, so it's going to be nice to sit around and do a hell of a lot of nothing. Dreams seemed to have slowed down a bit, only had one this past week, so I'll take it. Ain't much changed, just a lot of the same. Surviving, fighting, missing people that ain't around anymore in them and out of them. It's strange how attached you can get to folks from the dreams, and not even know them here.

You know, it's been awhile since I've gotten a reprieve from my dreams. Going on four days now with nothing but silence. I wonder how it's going to be when they start back up, but I'm holding out hope that they'll stay away for a little while longer. I like being able to sleep through the night.

Someone suggested to me that I volunteer at an animal shelter. I finally started.

I have to admit it's been fun. I actually felt relaxed around them. It's a nice change from the dreams.

One of the staff took pictures. You can see how adorable the animals are.

( pictures )

I'm guessing there's no way to make the dreams stop?

Every Dream gets a little better and a little worse for exactly the same reason: I get a little more comfortable with being that other man, that survivor, that killer.

I worry what will happen when I wake up and that other man is the one who gets out of my bed instead of me. He's the same, see, same face, same body, same scars. The name isn't even something important to me. The fact that's the same isn't anything in comparison to all the rest of it.

What happens to my kids when that man pushes me out of my head, takes over, decides to find a new way to survive?

I think that scares me more than any other possibility which could come out of my restless nights.

Looks like things might be getting a bit better for the group I'm with in my dreams. Found a prison to hole up in. There's plenty of Walkers, but I think we can all take them out pretty easily. It's a good thing we found a place, people are tired of running and one of them is pregnant so hopefully we can set some roots down even if it's just for a little while.

There's a new girl in my life, and I think I may be in love. She has the softest hair and her eyes are gorgeous. When she calls, I can't help but come running. Since we met, she's demanded nothing short of my full attention.

( Her name is Isis. )

Things still ain't getting any better in my dreams. Hell, they only seem to be getting worse with each passing one. At least we're still surviving. I reckon that's all that matters, but damn if it don't feel like I'm spinning my wheels all the damned time.

I am thinking some should learn silence is golden and the value of gold has not decreased over the years.

Super excited about the Grand Opening of Baxter Bakery's second location tomorrow! Hope to see you all there!

I haven't had any really vivid dreams for a few nights. It's been kind of nice. But it's also got me on edge. Because I know I'm going to have another Dream soon.

My baby girl is fifteen months old now. Time flies by before we know it. She went from being unable to roll over on her own to running around on me everywhere. My son is much older so he's a great help with her. It's only some days I wake up wishing her mother were here to see how she's grown.

Today is one of those days where I miss my wife.

I'm a lucky man to still have both my children along with the very best friend a man could ask for to help me raise them. I know I'm lucky. Some days I still miss what I've lost all the same.

Found out in my dreams that the guy who's farm we're currently holed up at has a barn full of Walkers. He apparently believes that they're still human, and that there's going to be a cure. Hate to break it to him, but we were at the CDC and there ain't anyone working on a cure since it blew up. One of the guys from our group opened up the barn to let them out, and we killed all of them cause it was stupid to think that they wouldn't eventually break out and do the same to us.

Worst part of it all is the little girl we were searching for was in there, one of them. I keep wondering if or when we'll ever get a break, but I don't think we ever will.

So I finally managed to make my way back to the studio today since the fog screwed over recording last week and instead of actually working we ended up spending time watching this and trying to figure out how to make something like this happen here.

I was nearly food for a walker in my dreams last night. Woke up to a nasty scar on my side, at least I didn't wake up bleeding, and there was another surprise from my dreams here in the real world. There was an ear necklace on my night stand, each ear from some walker I'd killed trying to get back home.

We still ain't found the girl that disappeared. I keep telling her momma that we'll find her, but I doubt it at this point.

[ooc: image is a little gross]

Seems as if time flies by these days. My daughter was born yesterday some days yet now? She's growing into her own. She'll pass one-year-old and then I imagine it'll be a blink of an eye when I'm taking her to her first day of school.

My boy is already almost a man. Fourteen going on forty.

Where did 2015 go?

I can't tell if I lost the year in transition or if I simply closed my eyes, chose not to pay attention.

Guess I should get a jump start on my New Year's Resolutions to say I'll make certain I'm eyes wide open for all of 2016. I don't want to miss a thing.

These damned dreams might be the death of me yet. I swear, if it ain't one thing it's another in these things. I don't think our group can seem to catch a break. Damned herd of zombies came up on us, and luckily no one was hurt except one of the kids that was with our group ran off. Now we're trying to find her, and I honestly don't think that we can.

I swear, if I didn't have to work I'd spend the day drinkin'.

Every night gets a little worse. I wake up with scratches, scrapes, scabs even. I'm bruised and sore. What kind of dreams leave a man waking up with their leavings still on him?

When I got home from work, there was a cat on my doorstep. I have two at home already, so you'd assume that they just smelled cat or kibble and figured they'd lurk.

But it's not that. It's a cat from my dreams. I just know. He answers to his name, he comes when I call, and he follows me around like he knows what I've been going through when I'm asleep.

( Cut for photo, visible to all. )

His name is Teacup (Dream me came up with it, don't ask), and he's the most precious thing. Eddie and Bill love him already, they're in a great big pile at the foot of my bed.

Is there some kind of opt out option on this?

You have got to be kidding me! Again!?

I keep thinking there's something I'm forgetting. I don't know why I think that. I only know I can't keep my head on straight unless I'm directly attending to some kind of business.

Working with my plants helps. It's always good to feel as if I'm doing good for someone else.

Being with my children? That's what keeps me going.

I feel as if I should be doing more than I am for them. I'm hardly enough to be a father much less both father and mother to my two. It's hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be.

All I know is I'm doing the best I can. I can only pray it's enough.

I ain't done any fishing since leaving home, but damn, these boys caught some pretty orange "cat fish".

Good on them, I ain't heard if they went back to see if there were anymore or not, but according to the reports the kittens have found a new home.

Did you know there are only 114 days or 16 weeks until Christmas? That's just 16 more Saturdays to do your shopping.

You're welcome! ;)

Edited to add: And 94 days til Hanukkah!