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Okay, seriously. Is there anywhere around here that doesn't see destruction on the regular? Construction and home repair is probably the most booming business around here.

Debating investing in a brewery. Pros? Brewery. Cons? Unclear.

Discuss.

» as much as I appreciate I can count on you to get evil Gods out of my head
» I'm almost sure it could've been done without causing the concussion

» admit it, you just wanted to hit me.
» hard.

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy being married? It's pretty much the best thing ever.

There's some weird kind of whiplash that goes along with shifting gears so extremely when it comes to dream settings. I mean, I go from Bed-Stu to ... Middle of Nowhere, Secret Base, SHIELD. Like... just three seconds to catch up would be good.

Also, can someone explain to me why I'm constantly having my mind screwed around with in these damn dreams?

I call bullshit!

My mother called, did a spot-on impression of her dream self, and now my whole family's visiting for the Fourth of July. So, four days from now. Three extra people. In my two bedroom apartment. I'd like to say that I don't know how it happened, but I absolutely do: She manipulated me by dangling her approval in front of me like a gift. Either I need to grow some thicker skin, or that woman should join the CIA.

Probably both.

Why do people raise their voices when they find out you're deaf?

Like... it really doesn't matter if you shout , I still can't hear it. All that does is make it harder to read lips, because they think talking slower and louder will help.

It's like that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where everyone bursts into song. Like, singing about mustard and shit.

Don't mind me if I hide in my house for a few days. At least my husband won't say anything. He can't hear me sing, anyway.

Someone explain to me how dream-Clint gets all the whack jobs, even when he's not on a damn team. Clowns man. Clowns.

I'm so fully and totally over this bullshit. And it always seems to include Barney. I'm considering ex-communicating him just in case.

Seriously. Clowns!

And just to top it off, I wake up completely deaf with a dog licking my damn face. Fun times.

I've decided to hire a personal assistant. Any interested parties can forward their resumes and cover letters.

My Dad's as much of a dick in my Dreams as he is in this life. Ugh. I'm so stereotypical with my Daddy Issues. Drives me nuts.

And the cold's still lingering. I need more soup. Doc gave me an inhaler to try and help me breathe and not cough. It's not really helping. But it looks cool.

Inhalers are the new sexy.

Did you know that in Miami you can be paid to be a python hunter? Burmese pythons. Met this dude in a bar who joined a government-paid team of 25 to hunt pythons since the area has kind of a snake problem.

That would have been good to know before honeymooning here, but aside from the snake jokes I could make, I'll just say it's actually been pretty awesome. Me and the new wife are pleasantly crispy and rehydrating with water and frozen daiquiris in the South Beach day-drinking scene.

Totally not worrying that we left our kids partly with a pirate. Souvenir requests are being taken as well.

When it rains it pours, I guess. Another Dream. This one was out of order. Does that happen to people often? I've been Dreaming about being in LA, and in last night's Dream I finally went to LA. Took Lucky with me. Clint, have you Dreamed about that yet? "You're not my girlfriend, you can't take my dog"?

Good times, good times.

How do you know when the Dreams are over?

Like sacrificing yourself so your team can get away and getting captured and carted off to the place where Jedi go to die...that seems pretty final, right?

For the record:

I ain't funny for thinking that these stupid dreams are because of the water. Don't you all tell me that you readily accepted the dreams as memories from the get go. Who would? Let's be serious here. Name someone that was all "oh geez these aren't dreams they're memories" from the beginning?

Once again: I. AIN'T. FUNNY.

Though I'm sure everyone out there thinks it's oh so hilarious that a grown man dreams he's a raccoon. HA. HA. HA.

Jackasses.

I did not fight and nearly die for this country to be made fun of for the goddamned dreams that I've had, thank you very much.

According to Wikipedia, the oldest living person in recorded history is Jean Calment, who lived to be 122 and a half years.

According to Wikipedia, the oldest, verified, living vertebrate terrestrial in recorded history is Tu'i Malila, a tortise who lived to be 188 years old.

What should a man do if he knows he doesn't deserve the life he's been given?

Seriously, Dream!Me? Seriously?

"Hero For Hire: Terminal Do-Gooder Wants to Do Good For You"

I don't know what I was thinking.

Okay; general question for anyone that has those dream bleed over bullshit happenings.

When a dream-solution presents itself, how effective is that in the actual scheme of things?

How many times is it actually possible to split up with someone? I mean, honestly, I think we're at five times.

At least I can count on Barney to be his predictably idiotic self.

So that was not a good night. Has anybody else died in their dreams? It is a strange experience

Well, that Dream was all kinds of fucked up.

Is it too cynical if my initial response to hearing from my brother for the first time in almost a decade is 'shit, what has he done now?' or is the baseline norm okay to go with on this?

I'm trying to work out where I fall on the jaded and bitter scale.

I was half expecting the surgery I had in my Dreams last night to bleed over. No such luck. Think it'll happen on a repeat? Fingers crossed.

It appeared suddenly, I thought it might go out the way it came in.

My dreams have become more vivid with each passing night. I'm learning to sleep through them so I'm not losing any rest, thankfully. Keeping the journal has definitely been helping. I'm finding there's a definite story there, but I'm not sure how it's going to end. I guess that's the fun part, though something I'm not used to considering the type of stories I usually write.

Speaking of writing I've been working on a story about our country's veterans and was hoping to interview veterans for it. Are there any that live nearby that would be interested in speaking with me for it? I promise to make it painless.

Also, I could use a photographer for that story as well. Anyone interested. I'll be able to pay for your services.

Screw this. Screw the dreams. Screw Osborne.

I'm so done with this stupid initiative.

I am taking liquid painkillers and going to sleep in a blurred state for a week hopefully.

I had a Dream that I was out of coffee, and when I woke up this morning? Not off to a good start. Especially since I have Job #1, then Job #2 today. Time to run to a coffee shop for a red eye. Might need another between jobs.

I just got shot at by some Stormtroopers as I was leaving the Register! I ducked behind a dumpster and they passed me, but uh... please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this.

Okay, I'm 80% sure I'd like Bucky!Cap way more if he'd stop trying to be Cap!Cap. Waking up with a headache from this bullshit. Someone should've caught the memo about domestic superheroes breeding contempt. Drew and Danvers are all that're keeping me sane. Lets not start on the convoluted mess of my marriage either

Trainwreck aside, I might actually get used to this damn codename change finally.

...has anyone else heard the thing about putting sugar on your burned tongue to relieve the pain? Because I needed coffee so badly this morning I started sipping before it even finished brewing, and my tongue is stinging and numb.

[Private to Clint]
More Dreams last night. You played a major role.

I had no idea that Dreams could hurt so much. People I don't know in this world have made such a huge impact on me. People I certainly hope I Dream about again, but... when they die, are they really dead? I'm going to miss her terribly, but she doesn't really exist. This is so confusing, and it hurts so much. I can't stop crying, and I'm glad I'm not working because I'd be shit behind the bar right now. I don't even know how to deal with a loss like this one.

Just a warning: I've set up cameras. Whoever is pilfering my Thin Mints will be caught and brought to justice.

So, what exactly is in the water here? Why am I dreaming about weird shit now? Because last I checked, I don't howl at the moon, my family didn't die in some tragic fire, and I'm not being hunted by crazies. I had to text Laura, just in case

Fuck, I never post on this forum, do I? I think the last post I made I was a woman, then before that the bearer of bad news. It feels odd to not have anything catastrophic to say.

I've always hated that 'pink for girls, blue for boys' shit so imagine this in orange font or something. Anyway, according to the doctor's poking (which looked uncomfortable) we're having a girl and I unfortunately didn't get any 'it's a girl' biscuits or cakes or cigars, but if anyone wants to drink with me tonight, I'll be at [insert name of bar] and I'll buy you one.

Names are still being brainstormed. That one's tough, isn't it?

Okay, who the hell just gives other people's stuff away? I mean, sure, dead and all, but c'mon man.

Don't know how much stock to put in that death thing in this place, but jeez, giving away a mans bow? That's low, even for Cap and his well meaning.

I'm pretty sure this samurai thing isn't gonna stick.

You'd think, normally, that with a new year comes a new me! Well, I like the old me so that's not going to change that much, but what the old me does, now that's something that can change. At least a little.

Van Dyne Designs will be doing something a little different this year. Every month in 2016 we'll be running an amateur design contest. There'll be money prizes and at the end of the year we'll put all 12 winning designs into one final contest, with the winner earning a paid internship at my company! It'll be loads of fun!

And one more, unrelated thing.

I want to do a superhero roll call. You know who you are, but I don't!

I feel like a grinch. I'm neither holly jolly, or merry and if carolers come to my door again I might shoot someone.

I'm not getting anyone Christmas presents this year. It's just the way things are. If you want to celebrate with me, buy me a beer.

Job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck.

There's something really irking about being killed by a team mate.

Twice.

Apparently my dream-half is a little more forgiving than I feel like I would be. Seriously, twice. What the hell. Plus side, existence. That seems like it would be a good thing.

The rest of my suit is here. Obviously that means I need to go try it out. So. Wish me luck.

(Please don't step on me.)

Oh, good, I died in my dreams again. Maybe I'm trying to go through every method possible to see if one sticks.

My dreams are starting to make more sense. Which is sort of hilarious, because by making more sense they actually make no sense. At all. Ever.

I got busted out of jail by ants. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Then it turns out that the guy who got the ants to break me out of jail is actually super impressive scientist and recluse Hank Pym (big deal in my dreams, seriously, if I wasn't focused on the whole ant thing I might have fangirled a bit). Turns out he wants me to use his suit to get another suit to stop this guy from essential world domination. Ask the Avengers, I say. Screw that, he says.

Oh yeah PS. I guess I'm a part of all you people who dream about the Avengers.

I sucked it up and signed up for an eHarmony account. A lot of people are meeting online now-a-days, right? I'm actually kind of excited about it. It feels like there's more of a screening process than just randomly bumping into someone in a bar. (Not that I was ever much for bars, but...)

Wish me luck?

Two things.

One, dating team-mates is bad. It's a bad bad idea and it should not be done. Voice of reason and experience here. Bad idea.

Second, why you die over there... that stops things in the dreams right? No more dreams?

Has anyone come up with a guide to translating girls book yet? Any writers out there?? I still seem to say every damn thing wrong when talking to them.

This is like some sort of horrific nightmare. I was hoping that when I woke up this morning, the nightmare would be over but nope. It sure as fuck isn't. This might actually be the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

Anyway, I've got the flu. A really, really bad case of the flu. So if you never see me again, that's probably why.

Don't you just hate when a mad man finds out that you and your daughter are his descendants and wants to harvest your organs to prolong his life? Yeah, I do too. Also hate falling asleep on the couch and having dreams cause I always wake up so tense no matter what.

You know, the overload of shit would be great if it didn't all happen at once, for fu---

You know what's worse than freaking out over your marriage to someone who doesn't exist?

Burying them.

Jesus could this crap not space itself the hell out?

This goes out to all the archers out there. Anyone interested in a little archery contest? Doesn't matter if your skill comes from the dreams or if you studied in the waking world. I'm just really curious about all the other archers out there. Never would have thought that dreams about archery would be so popular.

Filter: Clint
Hey, thanks again for helping out at the bar during that vampire mess. I'd be questioning my sanity right now if I'd tried to handle that on my own.

Had a couple more of those weird dreams. The world in it is so bizarre, but... do any of you find that your lives here parallel your dreams in a strange sort of way? I know things can be weird here in the OC, too, but there's something... I don't know... much more fantasy-like about my dreams. Maybe I'm just over thinking it. I'm just gonna be grateful I haven't dreamed of anything all that bad. There is a man that scares me a little, but

So, disregarding that... I hope everyone is recovered from that whole hell-on-earth debacle now. I haven't lost my optimism about this place yet, but limits sure do get pushed here, don't they?