Well, I gots me a raise at work, so I thought I'd upgrade the shitty old flip phone that was given to me five years ago. I don't really need one of them fancy touchscreen super computers in my pocket, but it seemed necessary when the third key fell off old Noki.
Probably should have thought that through a bit better because it turns out I can only use it with one fucking hand. Stupid fucking pain in the ass technology.