|Capital R (lonely_perverse) wrote in valarnet,|
@ 2017-04-25 21:56:00
|Entry tags:||abigail hobbs, bast, esmeralda, grantaire, peter rumancek|
I have not talked about my dreams for some time because they are depressing, and I do not like to be depressing. It is just how I am but I do not try to be. But I am drunk and I do not know how to control myself when I am drunk and I have been drinking since I woke myself this morning. My friends are dead. I do not know them in this world but I still feel very sad for them. I do not know how they died, as I was drunk, and I fell asleep. I am not surprised, I do not think that anyone else should be. But it is very quiet. I only woke myself because Enjolras made such a noise. He has barricaded us away from the guard. I do not know that he knows that I am there. I do not think that he much cares. I do not blame him for that. I would not care about a drunk non-believer either, if I were a god among men. Dear Apollo, you are trying to save a follower and you do not even know it. How very thoughtful.
I woke myself this morning before the guard could come so I do not know what has happened, but I am sure that it is nothing good. I cannot think that it would be. I am going to drink more now, I think.