on the list of things i'm not drunk enough for, my life is at the top of the list. and yet i have to be at work and that requires me to be sober. why is the universe punishing me?
if anyone wants to make terrible, drunken mistakes get drunk with me after i'm off work, probably let me know so i know to tell you where to go. if you're coming, though, don't be the emotional, oversharing sort of drunk and don't try to be my mum. none of that is acceptable tonight. i mean, if you want to feed me alcohol while also not letting me die, i guess you're allowed, but you still have to feed me alcohol or let me feed it to myself