Hey, Orange County, thanks for what has to be the absolute
worst belated birthday gift I've ever gotten! Maybe next time just send a freaking gift card. Or not even bother at all. I don't know which is worse, the way this feels or that I need to personally apologize to Mikasa next time I see her for the times I thought she was exaggerating every month, without explaining.
But hey, now I figured out for once and for all which parent I look most like because there's no way Mom didn't just clone herself when she had me.