Network

So last month (I think it was last month...) I posted something about my elderly neighbor who likes to be up sawing and hammering at the ass-crack of dawn and who also likes to stand on his porch at night staring off into space.

Some of you thought I should try talking to the old guy, so I did. Turns out he spent most of his life as a furniture maker in Arizona and, according to him, the only time to get that kind of work done and not roast your ass off is before the sun is up. Also, according to him, the evening is when he "does his thinking". Not entirely sure what that means and he hasn't really expanded on that, but he seems like an ok guy who's a bit homesick. His son moved him out here when his wife died and he's not exactly happy about it.

So, yeah, those of you who said I should talk to him, were pretty on the spot.

Well today is the day I turn the big 5-0. Can't believe it. Where the hell does time go? Seems like yesterday I was knee high to a grasshopper in Alabama.

Also can't believe the three chuckleheads I might as well call sons managed to pull off some of the craziest shit I've seen for a 50th:

[There's a picture of a ramp leading to the front door with birthday decorations on it and an electric scooter for old people at the base full of old home pamphlets, also decked out.]

That was not there yesterday.

I hate you sons of bitches 😂

I'm kinda proud of myself, I wrote the most professional fuck you letter to my agent without a single actual curse word involved and quit. I'm freeeee.


[Elsa]
Why didn't you tell me you were kidnapped? No more secrets.

Waking up from a dream where someone literally has their hand in your chest results in god awful heartburn. Heart ripping being a thing is not something I'm likely to get used to, but it seems like mine might be in a lockbox and doesn't want to leave.

Plus side, finally left the Enchanted Forest (through another portal and got spat out of a well) which means my hair care bills should go back down. Thank god.

Definitely understanding why Dad put the house in Nico's name and not both of ours'. Mom was super upset when I finally told her that I met them, and it got worse when I mentioned I was living in the same apartment as Nico. Because clearly finding and getting on with the other half of my family means I'm abandoning her or whatever. I ...really don't get that mental gymnastics, I really don't. But then again I never got the mental gymnastics that kept her from even telling me I have a family outside of her and her relatives.

Somehow she found out about the new house and immediately tried to invite herself over to stay between filming. I was able to nip that in the bud by telling her it's my brother's house, entirely, and I have absolutely no say over extended guests. She'd have to talk to him. I mean, I'm sorry I threw you under the bus like that, Nico, but I also know she'd never contact you? While at the same time, she'd never accept my no. After all, how could an extension of herself say no to her.