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I got pulled over.

While jogging.

Apparently going twelve miles per hour while jogging is alarming to some people.

Miranda, this is your fault.

I wish I could reach into my dreams and backhand myself. Lady, you're making the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons how many times do you have to not work out with someone before you realize, hey, it's not going to work out with him.

And you should be way more concerned about what's going on with Rachel.

Why are our Dreamselves sometimes idiots?

Bad writing, but still

Alright, it's getting to be that time of year, believe it or not, Halloween is coming up and coming up fast. But this year, we are turning to you, the patrons and asking: what would you like to see in our nightclub for Halloween this year besides themed drinks?

Okay look this place is kind of. There is something going on here. Alright?

People keep disappearing... and they're always trying to make me sleepy. They took my weapon away. I told them it was for in case the imps and undead came back but even though the curtains are still singed they keep saying there were never any imps here at all.

I don't care if I AM starting to get better, I need to get out of here. I swear either I'm going insane or this place already is.

Edited the next morning:
Well, that's a hell of a sedative/painkiller combo they dosed me with. Show's over, folks.

That said, I'm pretty well done with this place regardless of how fucking crazy I sounded last night.

Apparently I committed some kind of unforgivable sin at the movie theater today by a) not agreeing with some random woman who was there with her kid about the new Mission Impossible being a chick flick and b) not being there to see the new Mission Impossible. Sorry lady but I’m not interested in it. I haven’t been interested in watching any of those movies. And just because it has Tom Cruise and Henry Cavill in it? Doesn’t make it a chick flick. And even if it did - just because I have tits doesn’t mean that I automatically have to want to see a chick flick. That’s not how it works. I feel so sorry for the kid because I’m pretty sure that if she’s that way towards a stranger? She’s absolutely that way when it comes to them and whether it’s a boy toy/game/movie/etc or a girl toy/game/movie/etc.

I’m actually not sure whether to be amused or pissed off. I got a cease and desist letter from my father’s attorney today. Apparently my career and lifestyle choices are “damaging his family name and livelihood”.

According to my attorney what the old bastard wants is for me to either change my name professionally - which is not happening and he can go fuck himself - or quit being so open about my sex life. Which if any of you were worried I can assure you isn’t happening either. And in the interest of putting everyone’s minds at ease on that front - I’m throwing a pool party at my house. Everyone is more than welcome to come, however you want to take that, to help me break in the new pool house that was designed by the extremely talented and lovely Elsa.

[Sigrun]
If he was going to be a dick over the name he should have said something when I first started out. Not that I would have changed my mind about using his name I’m giving you the night off. Come and have fun but no bodyguard business. Or cockblocking.

[Elsa]
You couldn’t be convinced to take on another job for me could you? Now that the pool house is done, I’m thinking an actual guest house could be nice and I have the acreage for it after all.

The internet can be a wonderful tool when you're researching things, but sometimes it's the worst. Apparently there's a video game centering on the life I dream of. And there's a whole series of video games, a movie and comics spanning across the centuries in the world I dream of.

I think I need a drink. Or ten.