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My mother is setting up a spa weekend for us--my sister, my mother, and me--and though I'd rather not go, I don't really have any idea how to get out of it.

Oh my God you guys! I'm getting top billing in this movie! It's so exciting! I'm going to London for four days for filming! I can't even. I CAN'T EVEN.

I'm glad I took the time off and I have a little time to enjoy some down time and the beach a little between jobs. I finally tried paddle board yoga. I've been wanting to. I really, really enjoyed it and will be going back again. But it was really hard. A lot harder than they make it look.

Okay, so I guess I'm not dead. That doesn't mean things aren't going to get worse, though.

Do you ever look at yourself in the dreams and think, "Please don't" only to know damn well your dream self is going to do what you told him not to do? Because that's basically me every time I have a dream anymore. I'm really tired of it, too. I'm tired of watching myself do things that will eventually hurt the people I care about, that could kill them. I know I'm angry at Olympus and at the gods and...basically at everything, but can't I just have healthy coping mechanisms for once instead of "Destroy Olympus and probably end up killing all of humanity"? It would be nice for a change.

Maybe I could get therapy? A hobby? Anything? I seriously would like to not use my dad being a neglectful asshole as an excuse for my behavior because it's a really piss poor excuse.

Okay, so I'm sitting here binge watching My Strange Addiction. This girl spends 12 hours a day digging in her ears with sharp objects. What the hell? She had something lodged in her ear years ago, and now digs obsessively. That isn't a match for the lady that drinks nail polish. Now - here is the question. How does one get to a point where that is something to even try? I don't even understand, not even a little, how that gets to be a good idea.