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My dreams would make fantastic video game material, I think.

There's a little boy in green with a fairy that sneaks into the castle courtyards, and I send him off on some sort of quest to gather the remaining spiritual stones to assure some Gerudo King doesn't access a super powered plane of existence. Because some triangular relic lies there, constructed by the goddesses, supposedly able to grant wishes to whoever touches it? Except, he does get to it, after he storms my castle, kills the king, and watches the little boy open the Door of Time with a magical ocarina connected to the time stream.

The relic in question splits into three because of this king's imbalance, and him, the little boy (now frozen in time) and myself get a piece.

Some things in my life suddenly make a little more sense, except for the part where Impa says my ears look particularly pointy this morning.

How do you tell your kid their dad was a loser who you never plan on seeing again?

I really hate that schools make fathers day cards. It just leads to awkward questions I can't answer.

Being off work fucking sucks. Especially when the power goes out and I can't watch Netflix anymore. I never thought I'd be excited to go back to work as a desk jockey, but I really can't wait to start back on Monday.

I guess it is nice getting to spend all this extra time with Chris, especially now that he's done school. I guess I'll take him to the park to read or something, since it's not like I can really play any basketball with him this afternoon.

Ain't just the northwest getting power issues, mine keeps flickering.

Staying up at all hours has allowed me plenty of time to keep up with news back home. How upsetting our Prime Minister should be at the center of a corruption scandal. He is a resilient man, Mister Ponta, but I think we are due for a political change. At least he should be happy that a mob of ungrateful villagers has yet to try and burn him alive.

I am also finding that the cons of vampirism far outweigh the pros.

[Private to Lucy]

Miss Pevensie, I've another peculiar request.