Network

What are you people doing on Friday?

Cause we're gonna take the Condom Challenge! . The DRUNK condom challenge. Who's in? I've got grape and bubblegum extra larges or you can bring your own if you want fancier.

I can't believe it's been four months, already.  Time has flown, and I've never been happier. I feel like everything is a little brighter, a little more colourful whenever she's with me. She's made the world a better place just by being in it, and she's made my life so much sweeter by being with me.

What does one do for monthly milestones? I'm taking her out to dinner, of course, but I want to do something more.

I am graduating in just over six weeks. Just.Over.Six.Weeks.

With all of this chaos going around, and trying to fix things, while mentally retreating into 1832, like I did again tonight, with a particularly vivid dream I did not like but was proud of myself during, if I'm allowed to say such things, even though I know they do not MATTER, interrupting my essay, I'm..not sure what I am going to do. According to records, I am still eligible for Summa status, but if I fuck even one thing up in the next few weeks, even one, which might very well happen because of all of this, I don't know WHAT the fuck I am going to do.

And there's a job to keep looking for, before the branch office opens here and I go in to talk to the people, and deadlines that I have to keep and there was a firing squad tonight. A firing squad that focused on me, and, as much as I knew that it was over, because Combeferre and Courfeyrac and Joly and Bossuet and Jehan and Marius and Bahorel and Feuilly weren't there or I had seen them fall, or heard it. or inferred, I was terrified. I am ashamed that I felt fear starring into their guns and faces, when I had no call to feel anything but gratitude that I had been granted my chance to save Patria and would soon be going to join my friends. I still felt fear as I looked down those barrels, and I hate myself for that, and I still feel fear now, remembering that, and thinking about the next several weeks ahead.

I'm starring down another barrel, and it's obvious that in the other world, I am about to die while starrng down it, seemingly alone and terrified, though I can only hope I do not look it, and that Patria and the examples of my friends, do not find me wanting because of that fear that managed to take over me, that my refusal to show it, and to face what comes will work. In this world, the barrel I am starring at is singular, instead of by a squad, and yet, I feel the same way I did there. Completely terrified of what's to come, and like I am hardly doing a good enough job to fake not being so afraid.

I wish I understood. I truly do.

I owe some of my friends some letters still. I will have them sent out to all of you soon.

Do you know, I realize the other day that I can't recall the last time I smoked. And I don't miss it like I thought I would.

It's so nice out! I thought maybe I should open a window to let the air into my apartment because it's so nice!

But then the screen thingy broke.
And now there are bees. :c

Mr. Spock doesn't seem happy about it either.

I am excited, yet afraid at the same time - my first runway show in Los Angeles is Friday evening! The pay is good and I will be wearing things by a designer who is new and upcoming.

I have five tickets to offer to get into the show, if anyone would be interested in seeing the [name] runway?

Private to Valjean and Cosette: I reserved two tickets for you both, but I more than understand if you might find it dull. I mean it; do not come and be bored if you don't wish it; I will not be angry.

I've been contemplating this for some tine now and I suppose it's about time I attempted it. Would anyone know which dating sites are credible?

[Sirius Black]
I was wondering if you had any plans this weekend.

My dreams have finished. I lived, and died, and then lived again, into old age. The gods gave me a chance to be mortal.

When I woke my ears were pointed and I feel anything but mortal. I feel like an elf.

I don't think my quest in my dreams is amazingly noble. But I have to say that I seem fairly ineffectual sometimes. It's a very weird thing to have to consider upon waking up.

Anyhow. I believe it is summer now. Which is the best beach to go to?

... okay, these dreams are un-fucking-acceptable. I am getting some Lunesta. Today.

I've really put off this for too long, haven't I? Everyone's always talking about this network, and I hate being out of the loop.

Jay Gatsby, and it's a genuine pleasure.

I'm thinking I want to get a motorcycle. Don't know what kind yet. Anyone know which ones are good?

I resisted inquiring about this for some time, but I don't suppose anyone might have a line on a therapist who isn't prone to self-indulgent idiocy? Therapy is most definitely an acquired taste, but I have yet to acquire it. And yet I can't continue this way.

Holy shit.

I'm engaged. And it's not even April Fool's.

I considered quitting school but I graduate so soon I guess I might as well stick it out.

No idea what to do after though. No way I can stand more school. Anybody know any jobs for a computer nerd?