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I feel like I'm dying. In fact, I look quite like death at the moment. It's probably a good thing Loras isn't here, because he'd be scarred for life if he saw me right now. My lips were blue last I checked, but I've been trying to not look in the mirror too much.

I've also been having dreams. They started when I started running a fever when I first got sick. Now I understand what Loras was talking about last time I was here.

I know there's really no up sides to this epidemic, but as I was discussing with Dr. McCoy, at least I'll be prepared for the next crisis. I never thought there'd be a crisis of his magnitude so early on in my career and I know that no one can ever really be prepared for something like this, but it being the first big crisis of this nature that I've been involved in, I think that's the main reason I feel so restless and want to be able to do more. And I fully understand the need for the quarantine, but I miss my apartment.

I feel a bit guilty knowing that so many people are sick and I'm not. I'm really sorry, guys. I wish there was more I could do.

Upswing, maybe? Thor came by my room and now I feel better. I'm going to start calling him my lucky charm.

I think I'm finally starting to feel better. Here is to hoping they let me out this week or even this weekend. Two weeks is about the limit of my patience for hospitals. I want to sleep in my own bed for once.

Though in the mean time Fred and I have decided we wanted to do a scavenger hunt of sorts while we're in the hospital. Anyone here want to bring me supplies to build a miniature house? About all I have now is some of that fake grass stuff people stuff in Easter baskets and some paper Valentines day hearts... Not exactly building blocks of the next Empire State building.

A note to those at Irvine General and the other hospitals who are working ... find time for sleeping for yourself please! I was awake for 26h without rest and my superior finally said "Anya, rest" because I fell asleep in a chair and my elbow fell off the chair, and I have now a huge bruise on my chin.

We must be healthy and rested to help people. And now I nap.

I'm hoping everyone makes it through this outbreak. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I would like to propose a free drink and dancing night at Always to celebrate life! Everyone and anyone is welcome, when people are feeling better again and up to it! Maybe next month?

Get well soon to all those who are sick and thank you to those who are taking care of them, be it a doctor or scientist, or someone simply donating their time or money to help out!

If I live through this, I'm going to do my best to give up smoking. It's sort of put things into clarity for me, this sickness, and I don't want to be an idiot and look a gift horse in the mouth.

I feel like I should say something happy here to counteract all the problems with this blue virus, especially since I don't have it myself right now, but the only thing that I can really focus on is the fact that my dreams are getting...so much more disturbing. The most horrible things keep happening there, and it's hard to get them to go away.

Does anybody on here offer therapy or know somebody who won't think the dreams are fucking insane? I have too much going on in my head to think I can go on with this and keep pretending it's okay. I don't want to be a downer, I really don't want to be a downer but...

My wrist hurts.

But I think I'm gonna go nuts if this keeps happening.

Help!