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Call me a Grinch or whatever but I still dislike Christmas. Growing up it always reminded me of the family I didn't have and the odd looks kids in school give you when they ask you what you got and you say nothing. Before you judge me too much, I did get my sister and a few friends presents. As for the Christmas music, trees, and lights I'll pass.

Lets move on to New Years.

Some how I was able to pull the lucky straw and get Christmas off. That is the best present anyone can give me. You wouldn't believe how busy emergency rooms can be on the holidays... That being said, I hope everyone enjoys their families, friends, and holidays.

Okay guys and gals, lets be honest here a moment, how many people buy themselves a present too while they're shopping for everyone else? Me, personally, I am splurging and ordered my Christmas dinner from a catering service. This way we can all eat well and have to do none of the time consuming prep work.

Best present you got yourself, lets hear it.

I officially live in a gingerbread house! There is gingerbread everywhere which calls for tons of candy! I have sprinkles, colored frosting, licorice, gummy bears, and every other possible candy to decorate my gingerbread house with. I think this calls for a decorating contest though I never quite figured out how people make their gingerbread houses look so cool mine always look childish.

Seems I missed out on the whole wishing on a star thing but that is okay. I hope everyone got what they wanted. As for me, I already have everything I could ever think to wish for this Christmas. I even got my cast off this morning so I can walk a little bit again. I hope everyone enjoys their holidays. Even though it is premature your New Years too since I will be leaving in a couple days for Paris.

Since it is Christmas, who wants me to bring them back something from Paris when I go? Long as it is reasonable I will do it and we can consider it a late Christmas present.

Getting a call from a philanthropic foundation, and a new job on Christmas Eve? Now that's an amazing Christmas present.

I just realized that I haven't been under any mistletoe this year. I'm so lame.

Merry Christmas Eve everybody! I might have to go get toasted on egg nog.

...I actually wouldn't believe this if it wasn't happening right in front of me and I wasn't participating in this, but Jeff, the son in law? Actually he's not that bad. Today the both of us were relegated to last minute holiday shit, like picking up the ham, wrapping and assembling some of Pammy's bigger presents, and generally staying out of my daughter's hair. Surprisingly? Neither of us wound up dead, and he had a pretty good idea about where the elf is showing up tomorrow.

Provided one of us can wander in and attach it to her hair without her waking up, of course. And that we ever figure out assembling this princess castle shit complete with working toilet that makes a flushing noise.

It's going to be a long ass night, that one's for sure. Is this how christmas memories get made?

I know some people are like me and don't have any immediate family to spend the holidays with, but there's always someone who can use help and a hug. I'll be at the shelter on [address] helping with dinner and reading to the kids. If you want to help too, come on by.

You mean I've got to get through tonight and tomorrow completely SOBER?

Fuck that shit, I'm staying in bed until it's over, thanks.

The house is far too quiet when Cory spends holidays with her dad.