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Honestly, Ms. Skeeter should have informed me earlier that I'd had a threesome. Then I could have managed to try to arrange and actually have one. Her report is like getting a hangover without getting to have all the drinks for it.

Clearly my boyfriend is the attractive one in this equation if he gets to have us both. Sorry Jim. Though everyone has to admit the three of us together make one really hot couple.

Sam? Do you have a Halloween costume already? And don't say Aquaman.

Since it seems I wasn't the only one mistakenly identified as one member of a couple that doesn't exist...

I have never been in a relationship with another man, which includes my flatmate business associate friend Sherlock Holmes. Just wanted to clear that up.

In fact, I was on a date with one of the two women present.

This 'Cat Lady' from London has caught my interest. Orange County seems to have no shortage of Citizens willing to go above the law and 'do good'. It remains to be seen how much 'good' is actually being done, but as my own investigation is slow, I may as well look into this more fully.

On another note, I seem to have come down with whatever this odd-dream sickness is that everyone else has contracted. That, or I need to rethink what it is I eat before bed.

The dream I've had probably should have been more disturbing to me than it was, considering I was very blue, surrounded by space aliens, and apparently capable of disturbing local police forces merely by my presence.

Somehow I'd forgotten just how crazy some pregnant women get. I was away for too long.

Or maybe the women with common sense just don't get pregnant.

I assume everyone is already aware Ms. Skeeter is a lying cun- ill-informed. I'd like to think our police force is slightly more competent than an idiot reporter. Maybe not too competent, though.

Barnegat Books is open again, by the way. Let me emphasize that the owner has been cleared of all charges. Hopefully that's good for business.

( Frodo Baggins )

( Mr. Bruce Wayne )

You know, Rita, if you're going to fake a sex tape, you should use a woman that looks a lot more like me. You can't even get the hair color right. Amateur.

Besides, Eowyn would stab me if I tried anything.

If Skeeter is going to write her lies about your life, there isn't much you can do about it. At least from a legal point of view.

But doing something on purpose just to incise her poison pen for shits and giggles? There is no excuse. It shows no respect for your name, reputation or for those close to you who must suffer through the indignity.

Happy Fucking Birthday to Me.

No.Comment.

The lack of Rita publication regarding me means I've got a lot of Hell to raise. Luckily? Best time of the year for THAT. First thing's first though, Halloween. I'm thinking Indiana Jones.

Bill! See, I told you, you were hot. Even this Kirk guy couldn't resist you. Will you share your secret with me?

For the record, Lindsay Lohan wishes her hair was as pretty as mine. Our red hair is about all we have in common but that's not an issue since she went over to the dark side and became a blonde. I don't plan on checking into rehab either. It's SO overrated not matter how many stars think it's cool.

And why in the world is it okay for guys to have sex but if a girl does it's some big scandal? Even if I was sleeping with him why should it be news worthy? People have sex all the time. Even celebrities.

This greeted me at work today:

( Read more... )

...

It was delicious.

Starting to wonder just who's buying the rags if everyone gets so mad about them in the first place.

She's gotta be getting advertising money somewhere.

I still don't think any of this is very respectful.

Well hello, Orange County. My name is Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women.

Oh, and being employed. Anyone looking for someone to work for them? I'm a damn good mechanic, I got lots of experience with firearms, and oh yeah– I'm goddamn adorable. ;)