Here I am, hanging out and checking my email 'cause that's what I do, when I get an email entitled CROTCH CARE 101: POST BABY which is basically just this long DOOMOGRAM about how my vagina and bladder are going to be devastated by BABY NAPALM when I have the little one.
At first I was scared, but then I realized: I'm a hoss. So bring it, Babypocalypse. Vaginageddon isn't going to happen to me.