|wanda maximoff (fears) wrote in valarlogs,|
@ 2020-06-24 16:02:00
|Entry tags:||!complete, billy kaplan (wiccan), wanda maximoff (scarlet witch)|
WHO: Wanda Maximoff & Billy Kaplan
WHERE: Local Diner
WHEN: Early June
WHAT: Billy finally drops the Soul Mom discussion
So far, Billy had put off talking too much about what he’d been dreaming about with regards to Wanda and what he wanted to tell her. She’d promised not to freak out, and he believed her, he really did, what he wasn’t so confident on was himself and how he was going to react to telling her about it. It wasn’t a secret between them that he’d been adopted by the Kaplans and that he had no idea about his birth mother. He’d told Wanda a little while ago that his brothers had found out that he had a sibling, but had been stopped by their mom from looking into it further or tracking that person down because they had a right to privacy.
Still, it was a weird thing to sit across from your best friend and work out how to try and tell her that in the reality that made up his dreams, she was actually his soul’s mom. And that he was the reincarnation of one half of the twins she’d created with her reality warping powers and-
He stuffed another piece of strawberry-covered waffle into his mouth and tapped his fingers on the table to indicate he was going to say something as soon as he finished.
It wasn’t about his dreams, though.
He swallowed and looked at Wanda with a sheepish smile. “Do you think they’d judge me if I finished this one, waited a while and ordered another?”
Wanda did understand complex dreams, although hers had started to be a little less traumatically angled towards her assisting in destroying humanity, which she appreciated. She was open to listening to anyone else’s dreams where they needed, figuring that if they were affecting people like hers affected her, well it was only natural to need and want to talk about it.
She was even more prepared to listen to her friends. And she did worry about Billy’s dreams affecting him negatively.
“They might,” she answered honestly, as she picked a blueberry off her own waffle to pop in her mouth, “But do we really care?” She’d already almost finished her milkshake and had every intention on getting another one.
“Besides, we might end up here for a while, it’ll be good for them if we keep ordering things.” Especially since they weren’t problematic customers. “Don’t worry about what they think, do what you want.”
Billy snorted, “I mean, I don’t know if I care or not what they think. You know me, I care about what everyone thinks of me, even the people I don’t even know.” But it was something he was working on. One of those hard-to-swallow pills when it came to the workings of his own mind was that 99% of the people out there didn’t care about what he was doing or even notice it which in some ways was a relief but trying to convince his brain of that was another matter entirely.
He stirred his milkshake and took a sip of it. It was thick and made with ice-cream as well as milk which made it much creamier in taste and a whole lot more excellent.
“I really wish I could just…” he waved his hand demonstratively in her direction, even as he poked his milkshake straw into the drink. “shrug it off.”
He could feel the dream stuff hanging over them, an unspoken weight on his shoulders. He just… didn’t want to randomly bring it up.
“I mean, what people think of me and stuff.”
The trouble with anxiety was that it rarely made sense, and Wanda nodded softly. Billy might not care what strangers thought, but at the same time care, and it was just a vicious cycle. “You’ll get there, you’re still really young, comparatively. And it takes some time to get to that point.” Wanda cared a lot about impressions until very lately, and even then she sometimes still did. Wondering if people thought she was crazy or dangerous.
“But you can care what people think, while still doing the things you want to do, and slowly work on realising that what people think can’t stop you from being you.” Wanda just wanted Billy to be happy, however he could.
“We should start with eating two breakfasts with lots of sugar.”
“Two breakfasts with lots of sugar is the best way to start a day,” Billy agreed with a nod of his head before just taking a deep breath and deciding that it was now or never. If he kept edging around the dreams, he’d never talk to her about them and he’d never really-
Well, he didn’t know what he was looking for but did that matter? Wanda was his best friend, other than Blossom, and not feeling like he could talk to her about the dreams because some version of her was in them was twisting him up in knots.
“I- I know most of us have really rough patches in our dreams,” he admitted after a moment, fingers catching on the napkin in front of him as he started shredding it a little piece at a time. “But I- So you know I got a dream boyfriend, and he’s the most perfect thing to have ever existed?” He waited for a beat, watching for Wanda to confirm and then carrying on. “Well it turns out that he’s an alien and my dreams have been on repeat as we watch his mom - or not mom, surrogate mom because he’s alien royalty - gets burned alive and then one half of his heritage is trying to kidnap him or kill him or whatever and I find out that y-”
He cut himself off.
“I should probably go back a bit. I- I told you before that there’s a version of you in my dreams, right? But you’re not you, you’re much older. Like, at least in your thirties older. And you’re an Avenger.”
Letting Billy get through his thoughts, Wanda cut up little pieces of her food to clean up some of her syrup, glancing up to nod at Billy when he paused for her input.
Dreams could be hard, and convoluted. Wanda knew that a lot of her faith and trust in Natasha came from knowing who she was in the dreams, how that would translate into their relationship. It was hard for most people to make sense of them, but she knew that Billy’s dreams could be entirely troubling.
“Mmhm,” Wanda nodded again, “Around the time I worried I was going to destroy the world with Ultron, you told me I was one of the heroes in your dreams, I remember.” And thankfully it did seem like it was heading that way. “Are the Avengers involved in helping your dream boyfriend?”
She assumed saving him from alien hostility would be on an Avenger to-do list after all.
“Well, in the dreams you’re my favourite,” Billy said after a moment. “And my dream version of you is the reason I think that my powers sparked to life, after I met you when I’d been beaten up by my bullies.” Because even in his dreams, John Kessler was a jerk. “But I found out recently that-”
He paused again and took another breath.
“The Wanda in my world had kids, at some point, called Thomas and William. Sort of with this robot guy Vision. It’s complicated. But then they were lost, because they’d never been-” No that was wrong. “At some point the Wanda in my dreams had kids. And then she didn’t. Because reality powers. But the soul of her kids - in some weird was - was… I dunno, reincarnated? Into two kids who weren’t related or at least-”
He raked his fingers through his hair, he was messing this up.
“I found out recently in the dreams that this guy Tommy and me? We’re- uh- sorta Wanda’s kids.”
He winced, in preparation for however Wanda might take that particular piece of news.
She made the effort not to interrupt Billy, even just to tell him to take a moment and work out his thoughts. His dreams seemed exceptionally complex, so she could understand him needing to work out how to explain them best.
Hearing about a version of herself, someone who was both her and wasn’t her, it was odd, certainly. But she knew already, from Natasha, that there could be many versions of dreams. Billy wasn’t having ones like hers, but they were, after a fashion, similar. Enough that ‘reality powers’ didn’t really phase her much.
“So… William and Thomas, when they… stopped existing, they were...” there was a deep frown on her face as she tried to logic it out. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe or follow reincarnation, it hadn’t been part of her upbringing but she knew of some people who believed the souls of the dead lingered in the would. It wasn’t farfetched given all this.
But Billy was saying, in a roundabout way, that he was the reincarnated son of a version of her? “So you’re that Wanda’s sort-of-son?” Which might mean… “I want you to know, I am not freaking out,” maybe a tiny bit, but she knew he was worried she’d freak a little, given the comments he’d made after Peter’s party, “it’s just… confusing.”
“Originally, Wanda had taken the soul of a demon and spit it in two to create William and Thomas. I think. It-” Billy wrinkled his nose. “Either way, yeah, I- me and this guy Tommy we’re the soul children of Wanda Maximoff in my world. We had it-” he waved his hand. “It was explained to us as part of the invasion, one of the good alien bad guys…”
He leaned forward, half reaching out to take Wanda’s hand and then thinking better of it. “I just- I- sorry, I don’t- I’m- I hope this doesn’t change anything. Like, it doesn’t for me. Except that I’m even more invested in making sure your boyfriend’s good for you.”
When Billy pulled back from reaching for her, Wanda reached out for him, taking his hand as he pulled it back to give it a squeeze, “It doesn’t change anything, not negatively.”
A version of her was his mother, or something like a mother, maybe that version of her would become more of a parental figure to him with things being explained. That was hardly bad.
“You know I adore you, you’re one of my very best friends, you have been so great through everything that’s been happening. Knowing that a version of me is a mother to you? It only makes things more special for us, Billy.” She loved Billy very much, if anything it only deepened their connection.
Billy’s shoulders relaxed a little further as Wanda took his hand and he just gave her a look that showed how relieved he was that she wasn’t taking the news badly, if anything, she was taking it really well. He hoped she knew that he was being honest when he said he didn’t expect anything else and since she was probably one of the best friends he’d ever had, he was relieved beyond all measure that he wasn’t losing her.
He squeezed her hand back gently and then, after a moment gave her a little grin.
“Does this mean I get to give Peter the shovel talk?”