Michael Guerin is a (miserableliar) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2020-05-23 17:30:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, alex manes, michael guerin |
Who: Michael Guerin and Alex Manes
What: Michael tries to avoid taking off his shirt
Where: Bar to Michael's place
When: Sunday May 10 after these texts
Rating/Warnings: High! Sexual Situations
Status: Complete
After the last time Michael had slept with Alex, he had every intention on seeing the guy more frequently. Even if that wasn’t his usual style there was something about Alex that he knew he couldn’t resist. However then he had dreamed of his exorcism which resulted in a cross burn on his arm and the last thing he wanted was for anyone to see that. Especially Alex. So Michael flat out avoided the guy. He didn’t reach out, didn’t even bother to go to the bar they had run into each other before. It was easy enough to do. Orange County was a big place after all.
But after about a week Michael didn’t want to avoid Alex anymore. Which was why he texted the guy to meet him for a drink. He full on remembered saying they should skip the bar next time, but Michael had no intention of sleeping with Alex this time. Or even letting the guy touch him, especially his arm. He wore a long sleeve shirt despite the heat to avoid any possible questions. He even suggested a different bar just in case that specific place brought up any memories for them.
When Michael arrived Alex wasn’t there yet. He made his way over to the bar taking a seat and ordering himself a shot of whiskey.
Alex was stuck in traffic. And growing more annoyed by the minute. Michael had finally reached out, and he was looking like a no show. He didn’t really think Michael would think he was standing him up. He knew the car Alex was driving, so he would probably think he was having car trouble or something. Which he was, jut not that kind.
Traffic finally broke, and he arrived at the bar about ten minutes later than he’d said he would be there. Michael’s truck was in the parking lot, though so Alex wasn’t too concerned. He made his way inside and sought him out, sauntering up to him with a fluttering in his chest that made him feel a little light in the head for a moment.
“Hey. Sorry to keep you waiting. Traffic was a bitch.” At least he didn’t walk in to Michael chatting up some other guy.
Michael didn’t think Alex had stood him up. Though if he did Michael couldn’t really blame him. Not after Michael had ignored him for a week. He convinced himself it wasn’t a big deal though. He hooked up with people and then didn’t talk to them after for weeks all the time. Sometimes not ever again. Okay most times he never talked to them again. But with Alex something felt different.
“No problem,” Michael said slowly turning to look at Alex, ignoring the way his heart sped up just a bit. “Glad you made it.”
Alex had been worried Michael had brushed him off. He didn’t know how that would be possible, given the connection they had. Alex knew Michael felt it the same as he did. The whole thing defied explanation, but that didn’t make it any less real. Or any less intense.
And now that he was breathing the same air as Michael once again, he was feeling that cosmic connection renewed. He shifted a little, and slid into the seat next to Michael. What he really wanted to do was yank him up out of that seat and throw him down on the bar and…
Yeah, he needed to not entertain those thoughts. “Well, of course I came. I wanted to see you.”
Despite whatever connection they may or may not have, Michael didn’t fully understand why Alex would want to see him. No matter how many people he hooked up with or how much Max and Isobel looked out for him, there was still a large part of Michael that felt like the piece of shit all his foster parents made him believe he was.
Michael didn’t try to argue with Alex on that though. Just because he didn’t understand why, didn’t mean he thought the guy was lying. Instead he just took a sip of his drink before replying. “I wanted to see you too,” he replied honestly. Because it was the truth, obviously. Otherwise he wouldn’t have reached out.
“I’m glad.” Alex gnawed on his bottom lip. If he’d known how Michael felt, and how he saw himself, Alex would try to tell him otherwise. Michael was not a piece of shit. Alex thought he was pretty amazing, in his own right.
Of course he was influenced by that cosmic connection he couldn’t explain, and amazing sex. Because the sex was mind blowing. Hell, just being close to Michael sent all sorts of ripples of pleasure and anticipation through Alex.
“I was worried. It seemed like you were avoiding me.”
“No,” Michael said eyes serious. Even though it was slightly true. “I’ve been avoiding people in general.” Or at least people he knew. Because he was still going to work and still going to get take out and yes even bars. Just none of his usual spots.
The rest of what Alex said began to sink in. “You were worried?” he asked unable to hide the shock from his voice.
He knew it was crazy. He knew his attachment to Michael was insane. He barely knew the guy, beyond the fact Michael had fixed his car, and they had really intense and amazing sex together. Alex knew he’d been in foster care only because he’d known him, however vague and briefly, in high school. He didn’t really know him, though. Didn’t know his favorite color or what song he liked to sing in the shower, none of the little quirky things that made him who he was when no one was looking.
“A little,” he said after a beat. “I don’t know why. It’s crazy. But I like you. A lot.” Enough that he was sitting there with him, making eyes at him in a bar. In public, in the town where his father lived. It was all he could do to keep from grabbing his collar and kissing him right then and there.
Michael knew exactly what Alex meant. This thing between them, whatever it was, Michael felt it too. He didn’t understand it. It wasn’t like he knew Alex all that well either. He knew Alex liked to play music, knew that he had lived in New York and he had a strained relationship with his father and brothers. That was more an assumption from the funeral and the network post Alex had made. But he had a feeling he was right. Still he didn’t really know the guy and yet he felt like he did. And yeah he liked Alex too. A lot. Even though that scared the shit out of him.
“Feeling’s mutual,” he replied honestly though there was a small smirk on his face. Michael’s way of keeping things light. Or at least trying to, because his eyes were serious and full of intensity. The way they always were when he was looking at Alex.
“Good.” But really. He knew that it was. It was undeniable. There was a coil of heat between them, like a snake ready to pounce. Constantly ready to pounce, just waiting for the right moment.
“So…” he started, eyes glancing toward the exit. This wasn’t the bar where they’d been handsy before, and Alex wasn’t entirely comfortable with being kissy and touchy in public as a general rule, but he was feeling particularly awkward about it now for some reason. He didn’t have the worlds or experience to equate it with the dreams, and his dream self being stifled, his gay tendencies shoved down in a box where his father might not see.
Michael saw where Alex’s gaze went. He knew what Alex wanted. And of course Michael wanted it too. Being so close to Alex and not touching him or kissing him, it wasn’t easy. But Michael also knew where that would lead. Which normally he was all about, but his burn itched under his shirt and the last thing he wanted was for Alex to see it. He held back, keeping his impulses in check. He had to focus on Alex’s eyes and not look down at his lips, or any other part of his body for that matter.
“So,” Michael replied taking a long swallow from his glass. “You gonna get a drink?”
He was really hoping not to get a drink, because he hoped to leave with Michael before he needed one. But if Michael wanted him to get a drink, he’d get a drink. He caught the bartender’s attention and ordered. If he wasted the money, it would be worth it, because he’d rather leave the drink and go with Michael than stay and drink it through.
“You okay? You seem, I don’t know. Off.” In a way Alex couldn’t really explain.
Michael bit down on his bottom lip. In part to give him time to think of how to respond to Alex’s question, but also to keep himself from kissing Alex. “Yeah,” Michael finally said though he had a feeling Alex wouldn’t buy it. “Just had a shitty week,” he offered as a bit more explanation. Since he knew Alex would see right through that ‘yeah.’ “It’s getting better now,” he added giving Alex a small smile.
By the time Alex’s drink was brought over Michael had finished his and ordered another. “You uh, liking being back?” he asked in an attempt to change the subject. No one every said small talk was Michael’s strong suit.
Alex frowned at the question. It seemed...not really out of left field, but like something Michael wouldn’t really ask. But he had, and after a beat, Alex gave a shrug. “Yeah, I guess. I mean I have friends here. That helps.”
He avoided his family at all costs, Thankfully the OC wasn’t a pudunk small town where everyone knew everyone else. Avoiding his father and his brothers was easy enough. They didn’t exactly travel in the same circles. None of them were likely to show up in the bars where Alex performed, and he knew which shops to avoid to reduce the chance of a random encounter in town.
“Plus I met this guy that drives me crazy, and I can’t seem to get enough of him…” Alex trailed a finger over the rim of his glass. He knew it was anything but subtle, but he was trying to get a reaction out of Michael. He really just wanted to slip out of the bar and away with him.
It may not be a question Michael would typically ask. But he did want to know. He didn’t want Alex to suddenly decide to go back to New York or something. So yeah he wanted to make sure he was actually liking it here. That he wasn’t going to leave again.
“Met?” Michael challenged leaning in closer to Alex, even letting his knee brush against the other man’s. He couldn’t help himself. He needed some form of connection to the guy. Hell the sparks he felt at just that small touch was enough to make him briefly forget about the pain in his arm. “You didn’t already know him? From say, high school?” he went on a small smirk on his face.
“Huh. You know, I think I did know him back in high school. Had a crush on him then, too.” Alex’s eyes danced a bit, electrified from Michael’s touch. As much as he thought he needed to be more reserved in public, he couldn’t help himself.
He leaned in for a kiss, lips crashing against Michael’s mouth as his hand moved up Michael’s thigh. He had no self control around this guy. None at all. He forgot all his own rules, all self control flew out the window, abandoned at the side of the road.
Michael’s mind raced. He couldn’t help but wonder what his life would have been like if something had happened with Alex back then. But it probably wouldn’t have been much different. Maybe even hurt more when Alex left. And really Michael wasn’t ready for whatever this was back then. Hell he wasn’t even ready for it now. Even if he couldn’t seem to stay away.
He didn’t have time to respond though. Alex’s lips were on his. Michael couldn’t help but return the kiss, his hand moved to the side of Alex’s face. Yeah the pain in his arm was definitely forgotten. He deepened the kiss, letting his tongue make it’s way into Alex’s mouth. Where they were, why Michael had been trying to avoid this, all of it was forgotten. All he could do was respond to Alex, give in to the connection they shared.
“I revise my answer,” Alex said when the kissing broke for necessary breathing. He gestured at his glass. “I don’t think we’re gonna make three.” Which was fine with him. He had long since given up trying to figure out what it was that drew him to Michael. It was like some kind of living breathing entity between them, and it didn’t make sense but it was very much there.
He stopped short of begging Michael to take him home. He kind of assumed it was going to happen regardless. No need to make himself sound pathetic.
The kiss broke and Michael was brought back to reality. He bit down on his bottom lip for the second time that night, keeping himself for going in for another kiss. His hand dropping from Alex’s face just as the bartender placed Michael’s next drink in front of him. He picked it up almost immediately taking a long swallow. Another distraction to keep him from kissing Alex again.
“You gotta stop doing that to me,” Michael finally said a smirk on his face. Even though he was breaking the physical connection he didn’t want Alex to think he was rejecting him. Because that was far from what was happening.
The problem was, after Michael took a drink, and there was residual on his lip, Alex wanted to lick it off him. He resisted, though, because with the break of the physical connection, he was right back to wanting to be a little more reserved. A little less flashy in public.
But holy hell, it was easy to bypass that restraint when he was just inches away from Michael’s lips. “Don’t think I can,” he said, the words threaded with honesty. Michael awakened something in him, and he was entirely powerless to stop it.
Michael was torn. There was a part of him, a big part of him, that just wanted to forget about his damn arm and take Alex home with him. Like they had done every other time. And he knew, if he was lost in Alex he would forget. Until his shirt came off as it undoubtedly would. But maybe… it was dark enough, maybe if he kept the lights off Alex wouldn’t notice. The longer he sat there with Alex so close to him the more he wanted to just give in and forget.
“Your drink,” Michael finally said. “You should finish it.” Though he still wasn’t sure what was going to happen after.
Alex had no clue, not the slightest indication what was up with Michael. He could sense that something was off, he’d said as much. But what it was, he couldn’t say. Whatever it was, he wanted to help Michael forget about it
He pulled his drink to his lips, swallowed half of it in one gulp. Wiping his hand across his lips, he just felt the desire to kiss Michael again, and damn anyone who noticed. He didn’t care about self preservation or whatever it was he was trying to buy into. He didn’t care who saw.
He claimed Michael’s mouth in another crushing kiss.
Eyes fell to Alex’s lips as he wiped his mouth, the temptation to taste the alcohol from his lips was strong. And then as if Alex was reading his mind their lips collided once again. Michael eagerly returned the kiss, unable to help himself. His hand found it’s way back to the side of Alex’s face, thumb running over his cheek as he deepened the kiss.
“We gotta stop meeting like this,” Michael breathed when the kiss broke, but he kept his face close this time, hand remaining exactly where it was.
Alex was pretty sure the only way that was going to happen would be if he went back to New York. The only way he’d be able to stay away from Michael was if he was nowhere near Michael. But that wasn’t going to happen.
“We need to just skip the damn bar,” Alex breathed, his forehead pressed to Michael’s. The bar was the problem. The bar was a stepping stone they obviously didn’t need. “Take me home, Michael,” he purred.
Michael was still feeling the effects of kissing Alex, of being so damn close to him. Completely caught up in the moment his arm was forgotten. His senses and logic didn’t return, even as he pulled away from Alex shifting in his seat so he could pull his wallet out of his back pocket and place some money on the bar for his drink. He reached for Alex though, as he made his way out of the bar and to his truck, needing to feel that closeness to him, that connection.
This bar was closer to his trailer than the other place. But even on the short drive it was enough time for Michael’s senes to return. He remembered the pain in his arm, remembered what was beneath his shirt. As much as he wanted to kiss Alex again… amongst other things. He had no idea how he was going to get around his arm. Their was a definite shift in his mood as he drove, lust and excitement left his features, leaving his face stern, cold even.
Alex felt the shift in the atmosphere. It was hard to miss. Even as he was getting more and more ramped up, he could see that something weighed heavy on Michael. It ended up feeling tense and stale, in the cab of the truck, and by the time Michael pulled in to park in front of his trailer, Alex was getting all kinds of mixed signals.
He was half hard, definitely aroused and wanting nothing more than to stumble inside and lose track of his clothes. “Michael? What is it?” he asked, the words feeling flat and intrusive like a pin prick to the flimsy skin of a balloon.
Michael didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t surprised that Alex had noticed the change in his demeanor. Whatever this thing was between them, it definitely made them very in tune.
“Nothing,” Michael lied the internal debate still going on. Finally he decided he just wanted to feel good, to forget. And Alex was the only person that could do that for him, despite the consequences. “Come on,” he said climbing out of the truck and leading the way into his trailer.
Alex didn’t hesitate to follow, even though he knew it wasn’t nothing. Something was bothering him. Alex had a nagging a feeling he should force the issue, and make Michael talk, but he knew instinctively that wasn’t going to work out well. He shoved that instinct down, locking it in a box.
Once inside the trailer, he went in for the kiss, trying to reclaim the passion that was like a living thing between them. He backed Michael against a wall, hands tugging at his shirt.
The passion was still there. Despite what was going on with Michael, the passion was always there. It was undeniable. He kissed Alex back hungrily, letting himself get lost and forget everything else once again.
It wasn’t until he felt Alex’s hands on his shirt that he remembered his arm. Hands found Alex’s, moving them away from the shirt and guiding them to his jeans instead.
Alex didn’t mind the redirection. What he wanted wasn’t under his shirt anyway. It was under his jeans. Alex’s fingers made quick work of the button and zipper, easily peeling the denim away.
His right hand went for it, gripping Michael’s length without giving him any sort of warning that he was going to take hold. He didn’t think Michael was really going to object.
There was a sense of relief that washed over Michael when Alex didn’t object to Michael moving his hands. With no risk of the burn being seen for now he was finally able to relax and enjoy the moment.
And he was definitely enjoying it. The second he felt Alex’s hand around him a small moan escaped his mouth. “You feel amazing,” Michael breathed lips brushing Alex’s ear before placing kissed on his neck.
“Mmmm,” Alex purred in response. Words seemed unnecessary in the moment. He’d talk later. For now, he was entirely focused on Michael, and the feel of Michael in his hands. Alex’s eyes closed, he leaned his head back, exposing more of his neck.
The really should just skip the bar next time. It was really little more than a pit stop, anyway, even if they did manage to down a drink or two. And maybe Alex should take a cab to the bar, when they did decide to meet up before coming back to the trailer.
He cleared his thoughts by bringing his head back up and seeking to capture Michael’s lips in a kiss.
Michael returned the kiss, hands moving to Alex’s shirt. Just because Michael needed to keep his arm covered up didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the view of a shirtless Alex. He knew that meant Alex was going to have to remove his hand for a moment. Which he wasn’t really looking forward to. But the view would be worth it.
He broke the kiss lifting Alex’s shirt off his head. Eyes taking him in. He was so damn hot. Then his lips were right back on Alex’s, hands Alex’s jeans.
Alex groaned. He allowed Michael to tug his shirt over his head, briefly pulling off manhandling him. He was right back at it though, as soon as his shirt was discarded. “Mmmmm,” he purred into the kiss, tongue pressing against Michael’s, preventing him from saying anything.
His hips bucked and rolled, spasming against Michael’s hands at the front of his jeans. As much as he wanted to help and speed up the process, he didn’t. His hands were busy getting Michael good and hard.
Michael was definitely good and hard. It didn’t take much when Alex was around. Especially now that he was no longer worried about his arm. He was able to fully give in to Alex, hips moving forward against Alex’s hand.
Once Alex’s jeans were down he took Alex in his hand, wanting to give the other man the same pleasure he was getting. He broke the kiss again, needing more air, lips grazing Alex’s as he pulled free. But then he had to bite down on his own to keep a loud moan from escaping instead it came out as a muffled grunt. His lips captured Alex’s again moaning softly into the man’s mouth.
That little moan from Michael was enough to send a shiver up Alex’s spine. His eyes fluttered. Damn, this man and the way he made Alex feel. Like nothing else existed in the world, but the two of them and this moment.
Alex pulled off Michael’s mouth to catch his breath. He pressed his forehead to Michael’s and sucked in his breath. “Fuck. Want you so bad.”
“You have me,” Michael replied his own breath heavy. Although he knew that wasn’t exactly the way Alex meant it, the statement was still true. All least in this moment, Michael was entirely his.
Lips pressed against his once again, Hands moved, wrapping around his body so he could lead Alex over to the bed.
Alex didn’t object. He let Michael lead him to the bed, and went down to the mattress, pulling Michael along with him. At the moment he didn’t care that Michael still had his shirt on, he wasn’t thinking about that at all.
He was more interested in getting down to business. He moaned softly, hands pawing at Michael. He didn’t speak, words were unnecessary, he just looked at Michael, his eyes heavy and dark with lust.
Michael wasted no time once Alex pulled him down. Lips found Alex’s the same way they always did, kissing him there first, deep and passionate. When the kiss broke his lips moved to Alex’s jawline, then his neck, where he again had to fight the urge to suck and leave a mark.
His slowly made his way down Alex’s body. Eyes glancing up to meet the other man’s every so often. Mostly because he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t look away, even in the midst of everything. Now that they had been together multiple times Michael was able to take his time a little more, build up the moment instead of just rushing everything. Finally he made his way down to Alex’s member, but again paused to look up at him before he did anything else.
ALex held his gaze for a moment before his head dropped back and he gave a soft sigh. He wanted nothing more than to have Michael’s mouth on him, and he shifted a little to prop himself up enough that he could see the sight of it. His hand snaked out to tangle fingers in Michael’s hair.
“That’s good. That’s perfect,” he purred.
That was enough for Michael. He broke the gaze taking Alex in his mouth. God he felt so good. Michael’s tongue and lips began working him over again taking his time. Wanting Alex to feel every damn second of pleasure that he could.
Alex’s hips twitched, and it was all he could do to keep from thrusting into that hot mouth on him. He held back though, aside from the involuntary jerking of his hips, and let Michael do the work. It didn’t take long, and he was whimpering and his hands gripped Michaels hair, fingers scraping his scalp. Alex gave a shuddering sigh as his orgasm hit.
Michael swallowed and once Alex was done he pulled his mouth off him. Eyes met Alex’s once again, not looking away, as he licked the last taste off my lips. “Don’t think,” he began slowly kissing his way back up Alex’s body. “I’m ever going to get enough of you.”
“I don’t have a problem with that,” Alex purred. It was nice being wanted. Maybe even needed. That was something Alex didn’t have otherwise. He had friends, and he knew Maria wanted him around, but it was different. Being with Michael was entirely different, and seemed to fill a void Alex had never filled in his life before hooking up with Michael.
“Good,” Michael replied giving him a tiny smile before placing another kiss on his lips. He couldn’t deny that when he was with Alex nothing else seemed to exist. Whether that was a healthy thing or not he wasn’t sure. And it really didn’t matter. Because it felt too damn good to just get lost in the other man and forget the world for a bit.
Alex’s hands slid under Michael’s shirt, fingers raking over his torso. He shifted, and his hands found the hem line. “Mmmm. You’re still a bit over dressed, though,” he murmured, giving the shirt a tug to try and pull it over Michael’s head. He wouldn’t have intentionally done anything to shatter the moment, but he had no way of knowing why Michael still had his shirt on.
Michael stiffened when Alex tugged at his shirt. The world did exist and he still had a cross burned into his arm. He pulled away distancing himself from Alex. Even if he was tense now he still tried to play the moment off. “Didn't know you were that interested in my top half,” Michael joked wanting to keep the mood light.
Alex felt the mood shift. Felt the tension in the air turn thick and stifling. He shrugged it off, he had no reason to read into it. “I mean, the bottom is more interested, but yeah. I like the whole package view.”
Michael rolled over onto his back and sighed, staring up at the ceiling instead of keeping his eyes on Alex like he usually did. He didn’t want to lie to the guy or have him think he had done something wrong. But he also didn’t know how to explain what the hell was going on with him. Still, he knew he had to give the guy something. “Whole package isn’t looking so great right now.”
“What happened?” Because obviously something did. Alex hadn’t had much parental love in his life, either in his reality or in his dreams, but he was still prone to over caring. He had the instinct to want to defend and protect others. Especially Michael, though he wasn’t going to think about that now.
He raised a hand to Michael’s face. “Are you all right?”
It wasn’t as though Alex’s question was out of the blue. Even without Michael saying much it was obvious something had to have happened. It wasn’t like he was ever shy about taking his shirt off before. “Yeah,” Michael said tilting his head into Alex’s touch. “I just uh….” again he didn’t know how to explain it. He knew Alex was also dreaming about his childhood but he didn’t know if they were like the dreams Michael had, if they were like an alternate life or some shit. “Hurt my arm,” he finished. It was the most simple explanation for it.
“Are you okay?” Obviously he was. At least mostly. He had use of both arms. And whatever happened didn’t interfere with...well, other things. But Alex was concerned, because that’s just who Alex was. “Did you cut yourself or something?”
“Yeah,” Michael replied. “I’m fine.” His face softened a bit, eyes focussing in on Alex. “Better now,” he added small smile on his face before going in for another kiss. Not quite as heated as earlier. But he still needed that connection.
“That’s all that matters.” Alex wouldn’t push him to take his shirt off. Either he would. Or he wouldn’t. “If it makes you more comfortable, keep your shirt on. But. I feel like I’m being cheated out of a really nice view.”
Michael contemplated it for a moment. It had been a little strange hooking up with a long sleeve shirt on. If he was in his car that would be one thing. But they were in his trailer and Alex was completely naked. “Well,” Michael finally said. “I wouldn’t want to deprive you of that view,” he sat up enough to remove his shirt. Eyes locked onto Alex’s and feeling incredibly vulnerable.
Alex held Michael’s gaze in an attempt to be reassuring. He had no idea what he was going to see when that shirt came off. He thought probably Michael had cut himself. He wasn’t at all prepared for the burn that graced the other’s arm, but he kept his reaction neutral. Michael was obviously upset about it, and sensitive about it. Alex had no interest in making him feel worse.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Michael hadn’t been able to tell Poe what happened. And Poe had shared his dreams about torture. How the hell was he supposed to tell Alex when he didn’t even know if Alex knew what these dreams were like or what they could do? “No,” he finally said. Because he couldn’t. He didn’t know how.
“Okay.” Alex nodded. He wasn’t going to force the issue. The connection was strong, but it didn’t give him blanket permissions to push Michael’s buttons. “I’m here, if you change your mind. You know I’ll listen.” Without judgement, he hoped that was understood without being said.
He assumed what Michael needed right now was a distraction. With that in mind, he leaned forward and kissed him. He’d let the burn on Michael’s arm be a non issue. He wouldn’t mention it again, unless Michael did.
Michael knew, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He just wanted to forget. Thankfully Alex seemed to understand that. Must be part of their connection. Michael didn’t think too much about it though. Instead he returned Alex’s kiss, grateful for the distraction.