There was something lurking, a disturbance in the Force that couldn’t be attributed to Anakin.
Who: Ahsokali What: Premonitions When: Late June Where: Their place then the beach Status: complete Rating: PG-13
Fire, and lighting. Ahsoka saw fire and lighting, darkness overwhelming and oppressive. It threatened to consume her, and she snapped out of her meditation so quickly she fell over. Groaning, she picked herself up and tried to sort through her feelings, and what she’d seen. The problem with Force visions is they rarely gave her the full picture.
But fire and darkness? She immediately thought of Anakin, and a knot formed in her chest. She hadn’t always handled him in the best ways possible, and she had no idea what to do. It felt like darkness was inevitable, but she knew that was not true.
She padded into the kitchen and poured herself some water.
Most days, Li could sit in meditation and silence the voices she heard. It was mostly Diablo that talked to her, but she also heard the other Lords of Hell that she’d killed, and sometimes she also heard Zoltun Kulle talk to her. She felt like this was the beginning of going insane. She’d never wanted to know what that was like, and yet here she was, clearly starting to experience it.
Li was scared out of her mind over what her future held for her, which was part of why she was taking precautions to help prepare as many defenses as possible to handle whatever outcome she’d endure. Freya had helped with a spell that would stave off the effects of what was happening to her for a time, but it wouldn’t hold forever. She’d made Freya aware of the possibilities of what could happen, as well as showed her the Black Soulstone that was kept safely in the Magic Guild. Plans were being made, but that didn’t quite stave off her fear of her ultimate fate.
Li was sitting on the couch in the living room staring at the TV, which wasn’t on. She was trying to drown out the voices whispering to her. Luckily for the time being, they were just whispers. Annoying whispers, but nothing more than that.
Hearing the faucet in the kitchen, Li shook out of her trance and glanced towards the kitchen to see Ahsoka there.
“Hey,” she greeted, not moving off of the couch.
Ahsoka stared at her for a moment, then walked into the living room. She felt an unease, and a disquiet. It hovered in the air like a solid thing, making the Force thrum discordant. “You okay?”
“Not really. I’m just trying to silence the whispering.” Li felt like she sounded like a crazy person. And, well, to most people she should probably be institutionalized. Hearing voices tended to be a red flag to people, after all.
“I have some experience with that,” Ahsoka replied, expression wry. She took a seat next to Li, taking her hand and squeezing it. She felt like sometimes Li had good days and sometimes she had bad days. And lately, there’d been more bad than good. Ahsoka was, generally an optimist, and thought things would balance out in the end.
“If meditation isn’t helping, we can try something else?”
Perhaps Ahsoka had experience with hearing voices, but this was entirely different. The voices weren’t harmless, disembodied voices. Li felt that they were the manifestations of the corruption that evil had left in her, corruption that could even be rising from the demon blood in her veins. In Li’s world, there was no balance to be found in a person. And whatever balance between good and evil that could be achieved in the world never lasted for long. Evil always came back.
“Like what?”
“Well, we could either try sparring, or we can go out and find a place where you can bring peace to your mind,” Ahsoka replied.
“Maybe going out. I don’t feel like sparring at the moment.” Li didn’t exactly think that going out was a good idea either, but she’d rather try that than throw herself half-heartedly into sparring.
“Okay.” Ahsoka brought Li’s hand up and kissed her fingers. “How about we get some ice cream and go to the ocean?”
“That sounds good,” Li responded with a nod. Perhaps the ocean would be a good change of scenery. At the very least, the sound of the waves might help drown out the whispering.
Taking her hand, Ahsoka led her to the door, slipping her shoes on. She didn’t say anything, feeling a sense of cold foreboding. Maybe the first wasn’t supposed to be Anakin.
“Do you want drive thru ice cream, or get a quart from the store on the way?”
She followed along, slipping her shoes on and then headed out with Ahsoka. “Maybe a quart from the store. It might last longer.”
“Sounds good.” Ahsoka unlocked the car, and unable to deal with any potential silence turned the radio on, but low. She stopped at a quick mart, coming back with Li’s favorite flavor. “I’ll use the Force to keep it cool. Don’t tell anyone.”
She grinned and winked, before driving them to the beach.
Li was glad for the radio, it did help to drown out the whispers a bit. When Ahsoka came back with the ice cream, she did manage a little smile. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” Sometimes Ahsoka’s abilities came in very handy like this.
The beach was quite this time of night. Ahsoka parked the car, then lifted her hand to stroke at her hair. She loved Li’s hair. She loved everything about her, good and bad. “I love you.”
Li looked at Ahsoka, always loving the way she touched her hair. “I love you, too.” She leaned into the touch and savored it, trying to keep herself focused on it.
The ice cream might start melting, but Ahsoka suddenly wanted this moment with Li. It felt like something to be treasured. “It’s pretty nice out here tonight isn’t it.”
“Yes, it is. I like it.” It didn’t seem to be too hot, and the weather was good. Li was glad for it. Perhaps the waves crashing upon the beach would be good to drown the whispering out, and help her focus more on Ahsoka.
She looked at Li again, a heavy rock settling in her stomach. There was something lurking, a disturbance in the Force that couldn’t be attributed to Anakin. Perhaps the County would get up to its usual antics, but this was a different kind of darkness that skirted around the edge of her consciousness.
But Ahsoka had seen the darkness, and seen the light at the end of that long, dark tunnel.
There was always hope. Always. So she took Li’s hand and kissed it, ignoring her feelings and ignoring everything screaming at her that something was very, very wrong.
“Come on, I’ve got a blanket in the back. Lets get sand in our shoes.”
There was definitely something very wrong, but for the moment it was contained by the spell Freya had cast. But it wouldn’t hold forever, much as Li wished it would. But she knew that what was happening to her could not be reversed. Her ultimate destiny was already written in stone, she just didn’t know what exactly her fate would be.
“I definitely like the sound of that.” Li responded before getting out of the car.
Grabbing the ice cream, Ahsoka hung it off of her arm, then took Li’s hand. There was always a way, always a third solution, or a fourth. Ahsoka had survived the screaming of the Force as the Jedi died. She had survived Maul, and Vader and the Emperor himself. She had survived the Empire and the Dark Times. She would help get Li through this. Whatever this was.
Because she didn’t know if she could let go. Ahsoka was not a jedi.