Natalia (the_black_widow) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2018-06-23 14:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, natasha romanoff (black widow), stahma tarr |
Who: Nat and Stahma
What: winding down
When: after the rescue mission
Where: Stahma's
Status: complete
Rating: PG
To say that Stahma had been concerned was an understatement, but she’d done as Natasha had asked. She’d kept the twins safe from being activated and, in the process, kept herself safe as well. Stahma had also been concerned about Natasha going on a mission considering the last time she’d been on one she’d ended up getting shot.
“I am relieved that you returned uninjured this time,” Stahma commented. “Otherwise I would have restricted your diet again.” She was teasing, but Stahma definitely would have restricted Natasha’s diet if she’d gotten herself injured.
“Meat thief,” Natasha retorted, catching Stahma with her hand in her hair and giving her a long kiss. They’d gotten back, and Deryn and Jing-Wei were at the agency with Ilia. Eventually she’d take the others there to deprogram them, but until then they were less of a danger, and Nat hoped none of them would have to stay there long.
They all deserved sunlight and freedom. She broke the kiss abruptly and mostly to herself murmured, “Remind me to take Ilia and the Finches camping in a few weeks.”
Stahma chuckled, taking the retort. When Nat caught her and pulled her in, she had a little smirk on her face. She did rather like that. She returned the kiss, sliding one hand into Natasha’s hair, and resting the other on her hip. When she broke the kiss and murmured that, she smiled. “I think that would do you all some good.”
“A little of that freedom and sunlight,” Natasha mused. She didn’t let go of Stahma. If she was honest with herself this whole thing had her shaken. That she’d missed something so obvious, that the Russians were so intent on making more of them. And she didn’t think it was over. She was going to have to go back.
“Something all of you have more than earned,” she responded. Stahma eyed Natasha, shifting her arms and sliding them around her lover’s back, holding her close. Things like that were never over. While Stahma didn’t have the background that Natasha did, she had grown up seeing how the KGB operated. Her father had been a prominent figure within those ranks, and she well knew what they could do to people.
“I love you.” Clearly she’d been shaken enough about the whole thing to feel actually vulnerable and emotional. A rare state for Natasha, especially one who’d dreamed the worlds she had. “I’m sorry. This .. was too personal for me.”
“And I love you.” Stahma reached up, pressing a hand to Natasha’s cheek and searching her face. “Do not apologize. What do you say to having a nice, warm bath and we can just relax together?” Natasha was clearly vulnerable and perhaps just the two of them relaxing would help her. And possibly giving Natasha a shoulder rub.
“That sounds divine,” Nat agreed. She’d walked out of there with few physical wounds, but her mind was the farthest thing from sound. And Natasha hated feeling this way. Scrub off the mission and be a human being for a few hours.
She could use that.
Stahma smiled, leaning in and stealing another kiss from Natasha before she took her by the hands and started to lead her off to the bathtub. “Then that is what we shall do. And perhaps I could rub your shoulders, workout some of the tension and knots there?”
“You don’t even need to ask,” Nat replied, eyes flashing with need and exhaustion, among a few other things. “Though I’m close to begging.”
“You do not need to beg, this I promise.” Stahma wouldn’t make Natasha beg, not now at any rate. She pulled her girlfriend into the bathroom and started running the water for a bath, she then stood up and started to help Natasha out of her clothes. “By the time I’m done with you, you shall be entirely relaxed.” And she didn’t even plan to employ sex just yet. It was more just massaging the stress out of Natasha, giving her little touches and kisses as she went.
But of course if Natasha wanted sex, she wouldn’t say now. Castithans had a rather high sex drive, which seemed to be a high contradiction with the fact they were intensely and strictly religious.
“But what if I wanted to?” Natasha? Beg? It was more likely than you’d think. She laughed, letting herself be pulled, and then started to strip. She was too tired for sex, probably, and too emotionally raw. Though sometimes that made the best kind of sex.
“I wouldn’t stop you,” Stahma responded. Once Nat was stripped and the water ready, she ushered her into it before Stahma stripped and slid into the bath behind Natasha. Her hands slid up her arms and to her shoulders, lightly dancing over her skin for some moments before she started to give her a massage. Stahma followed the tension she felt in her lover’s muscles and worked into them nice and deep to help relax her.
“I’ll think about it.” Natasha let out a low, soft moan as Stahma’s hands ran over her body. The one that followed with the first part of the massage was...audible relief, mixed with what might have been a heavy sigh.
She noted the relief and the sigh, and she kept at the massage, working Natasha’s shoulders and neck. Her hands slipped to her upper back. “You are rather stressed,” she murmured. It was an obvious assertion, but Stahma was opening the door in the event Natasha felt like sharing what was on her mind.
“Oh, right there. It feels like I’ve got a rock right there.” And Stahma could probably feel that under her hands. “Today opened a lot of old wounds.”
“I think you do have a rock there,” she commented as Stahma set to work on it. She kept her touch gentle but firm. “More so than other missions?” Perhaps she could get Natasha to talk about it. Once wounds were open, they could be healed so long as they were treated correctly.
‘Yes.” Nat leaned into the touch, grunting as the rock got turned into rubble. She sighed after a moment as the knot released. “Too close to what happened to me. I feel like this was a personal failing to not have rooted this out at the core.”
Once the rock was in rubble, Stahma worked at the little pieces until they were gone before she moved on to another area that needed attention. “You may feel that way, but it does not necessarily mean that is true. Perhaps you simply need to find the heart and rip it out.” Potentially literally, but there was always a nexus for such operations, and if the nexus was taken down, the rest could easily follow.
“Oh my god,” Nat groaned, her head falling back against Stahma’s chest. “Right there, do that again.”
She took a moment before responding again, “I mean to. I just wonder if I’m moving too slow. But some of these things take time.”
Stahma worked on the spot Nat indicated, really going after it. To be honest, she was liking giving Natasha a massage. “They do take time, and you also know that if you move too quickly, mistakes will be made and details will be missed. It is better to move slowly and ensure you have everything in place that you need.”
“Ah, fuck…” Natasha trailed off from what she as saying, the pain giving again to a sort of warm relief and pleasure as Stahma’s hands continued to do incredible things to her back. “And...you’re right. I’m usually more patient than this, but I’m too close. I need to put some space.”
Stahma dug her fingers into another knot. “Then perhaps what is best is that you take a step back, take a breath, then come back to the situation with a clearer head. You will be able to better figure out how to best approach situation then.”
“Are you ordering me to take a vacation, dear?” Natasha tilted her head, hoping Stahma would get the idea to work at her neck and the back of her head, where she was feeling a particularly bad tension headache developing.
“To put it bluntly, yes,” she responded and took the hint. She moved her hands to Natasha’s neck and the back of her head. “Though I tried to be more polite about it than ordering you.” Though given how she tended to restrict Natasha’s diet after she suffered severe injuries, it wasn’t beyond her to actually order Natasha to take a vacation.
“If you insist, I’ll take a whole three days off.” Compromise. But after that three days? She needed to get in contact with some contacts. “Unless something comes up.”
“Agreed,” she responded, still working at Natasha’s neck and head. Stahma knew better than to push for Natasha to take a vacation for any longer than that. Even if she thought her girlfriend could use it. But right now, it was more about getting Natasha to relax.
The more she sat there, the longer Stahma’s hands worked their magic, the more Natasha needed some other kind of relief. It wasn’t even feeling horny, but needing the intimacy. So she turned in Stahma’s arms and leaned up to kiss her.
The kiss was a little unexpected, but Stahma returned it wholeheartedly. She brushed a hand through Natasha’s hair, slipping the other one around her and pressing close to her as though she sensed Natasha’s need for intimacy.
“Make love to me in the tub,” Natasha whispered, before moving her lips to Stahma’s throat without really waiting for an answer.
Stahma smiled, tilting her head back and exposing her throat to Natasha. “My pleasure,” she murmured in return. Her fingers danced over Natasha’s skin again, this time with passion and intent on making love to her.