Ruby Rose | Team RWBY (eyesofsilver) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2018-04-09 06:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, qrow branwen, ruby rose |
Who: Qrow and Ruby
What: Ruby has concerns following her latest dreams
When: Night before Qrow and Yang went to Nevada
Where: Qrow’s place
Warnings: Low
Status: Log | Complete
In terms of things that happened in the Dreams, it wasn’t like it had been a lot. But it had been enough to make Ruby feel distracted all day. Yang’s anger at Blake for leaving, the tension and anxiety she felt over that early morning conversation. The fear that even with Weiss and Yang there, that things weren’t okay and not knowing what to do. Of talking with Weiss and deciding that she was better suited than Ruby to check in on Yang and the absolute relief when Yang said that things were okay.
Mostly because it wasn’t as if there weren’t tensions within the group here. Orange County had been Orange County and because of it, things were awkward between Blake and Yang even months after the fact because it had messed with Blake’s recovery from her past in Scientology and everything with her ex. Of how Yang just wanted things to be like they were in the Dreams before the Fall of Beacon. Ruby might not be the most socially aware, but she could see it and did her best to run interference. Because while most people underestimated her and thought her oblivious, Ruby did notice things. And she did believe that things would work out. That the tensions would fade and the awkwardness would be a thing of the past.
Yet with this Dream… Then there were questions about Team STRQ. She knew the stories she was told and she knew that something had happened that caused them to split apart. And she didn’t want Team RWBY to be a xerox copy of Team STRQ. There were just a lot of questions.
So after her internship that day, Ruby headed to her uncle’s townhouse instead of home. Knocking on the door, she waited, rocking back and forth on her heels.
It was a weird feeling to not have anything to do for the first time in over a decade. There were no papers or assignments to grade, no lesson plans to make or revise, no emails from students wanting clarification on an assignment or a reading, or looking for a little extra help or guidance in their scholastic lives. Part of his suspension was that he was to have no contact with his students. Other professors had taken over his classes. All of that was their responsibility now. Qrow supposed he should have viewed the situation as a sort of vacation. He hadn’t been fired from UC:Irvine, just suspended. But in a way that was worse than being fired. Qrow was in a limbo waiting to be told he either still had his job -- his career -- or if he needed to fall into the unemployment line and start all over again at the age of 42. Either way, at least he would have had an answer, a direction to go in, but right now he had nothing.
Well, he had his research, the paper he was supposed to be writing regarding the Viking influence on the British Isles and continental Europe as part of his tenureship. This would have been the perfect opportunity to catch up on that. He’d fallen quite a bit behind since joining the network and getting sucked up into the vortex of the Crises-of-the-Month and he was trying to do just that, but for the last several hours he’d been in the spare bedroom that doubled as his office, staring trance-like at his computer screen and tirelessly drumming his fingers on the cover of a book in a rhythm that was almost hypnotic. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels sat forgotten at his elbow and an ashtray with a few smoked cigarettes by the open window.
He was shaken out of his daze when he heard the knock at the door. He glanced at the clock on the night table behind him and frowned at the time. An entire afternoon down the drain. With a sigh he pushed away from his desk and went to answer the door. With any luck it would have been Natasha Romonov there with a new assignment for him. Something to get him out of his house and in the field doing something.
Instead, Qrow saw his niece waiting for him, rocking back and forth on her feet patiently waiting to be let in. The corners of Qrow’s mouth quirked upwards slightly. Like the rest of the family, Ruby had a key to the townhouse, but between her, her father and Yang, she was the only one who always bothered to knock first.
Qrow shook the last remnants of that afternoon’s daze off him (and hopefully with it, the smell of stale booze and cigarettes) before opening the door for his niece. “Hiya, Squirt,” he greeted her with a grin.
It would have to be a very strange day or an emergency for Ruby to not knock and instead just use the key. Yes, she had it but Ruby would always be Ruby in that regard. Even if she knew that she could just use it (that was what it was there for after all), she always ended up knocking. Some things just never changed.
The smell of stale booze and cigarettes wasn’t completely gone, but Ruby made no comment on the matter. She was pretty used to it and it wasn’t like her uncle was falling over drunk like he had been in the Dreams when he found Oscar, or Ozpin…. That was still really confusing and she wasn’t quite sure what to make of it here even if the in the Dreams she pretty much rolled with it.
“Hi, Uncle Qrow!”
She already felt a bit better, but the questions and concerns which had brought her there in the first place were still in the back of her mind. They were a bit too deep to jump into right away. Especially when she didn’t know just how to phrase them or what order to ask in.
At Ruby’s happy greeting, Qrow’s grin turned a little more genuine. “C’mone in,” he motioned her inside and closed the door behind her. A quick glance at the clock told hm the hour was getting later. He hadn’t had much to eat yet today either. “I was about to order some food,” he said. “You wanna stay for dinner? I was thinking of getting a pizza?”
He made his way through to the living room. Ruby was welcome to stay for as long as she liked. The townhouse was every bit her second home. A place she could come to get away, relax, study, whatever she needed or wanted.
“Sure!” True, Ruby hadn't been thinking about eating or anything when she had decided to to come over. But as Qrow mentioned that he had been about to order food, she suddenly remembered that it had been awhile since she had last eaten. So really, it was a good thing since she might otherwise forget given her current concerns.
So following Qrow into the living room, Ruby went to her usual spot on the couch and set her things down. Besides, it wasn't like she had to be anywhere. She would just text her dad while her uncle ordered the pizza to let him know where she was and not to worry about dinner for her.
Qrow ordered his usual pizza from his usual place and added a bottle of soda and order of chicken wings. The order placed, Qrow took a seat in the living room. He felt tired and drained, despite not having accomplished much that day. He missed the lunches he’d have with his niece in his office and wondered if those were a thing of the past now too.
“How’s it going, squirt?” He asked her. “Keeping out of trouble?”
Besides the complete unfairness of Qrow being under investigation thanks to the lies of Rita Skeeter because he would never do what she had insinuated (just as it was with everyone she seemed to set her sights on), Ruby missed the lunches as well. After all, while she knew her family worried about her tendency to hide away from social situations and how her having lunch with her uncle could be counted as that, sometimes it helped her decompress and just relax. So she was going to hold onto the belief that it would all work out and this mess would be fixed.
“Yep. Nothing major going on.” Which was always a good thing. Especially in the area. There had been ice skating on her birthday, attempts at group bonding, weapons training since you never knew what to expect, on top of school and her internship. Which left little time to get into trouble. Even if she had her concerns, concerns heightened by her most recent Dream. It was just...figuring out just how to voice the question. Well, it was Ruby. She tended to just blurt things out anway.
“Can I ask you something?” Which really could be anything. It was Ruby’s way after all.
Qrow raised a brow. Usually Ruby just asked her questions without any kind of segway or conversational transitions. They just always came out whenever they bubbled to the surface and could be about literally anything that crossed the young woman’s mind. If there was some kind of preface, even asking for permission, meant something had been lingering on Ruby’s mind for some time, but the question itself had never properly formed.
Qrow had no idea, of course, what it was that Ruby was going to ask him about, but he cold guess it was something personal considering she’d said ‘can I ask you something’ instead of ‘can I ask you about something.’ He braced himself for that as well. As much as he kept certain parts of himself hidden, he wanted his nieces to feel as though they could always come to him. “Sure,” he nodded casually, “go ahead.”
Nodding some, Ruby took a breath. Because it wasn’t like it was an easy question either. Then again, anything dealing with her parents and Qrow and his sister probably wouldn’t be easy. Or the worries about her team becoming like Team STRQ in the Dreams and falling apart. There was anxiety there because part of Ruby worried that was the only reason she’d made her friends, and without the team that would go away. But first to get through the questions.
“Well it’s kind of two somethings or might be more depending but the two for sure somethings tie into one another.”
Rambling and anxious, as if trying to prolong the question. Or to figure out which of the two somethings to ask about first.
“Did you have something like Team STRQ here? I mean, not exactly because everything is different in terms of life experiences and everything. But did you, dad, mom and Raven all know each other and were friends here before Raven decided to leave?”
Qrow was patient while he waited for Ruby to get to her questions. He was used to her rambling in an attempt to explain why she was asking what she was asking, however, when she actually got to her questions, he realized this was something more than a simple random thought that had occurred to her during class today. This went far deeper.
Honestly, the question surprised Qrow, though he could fathom a guess as to where it was coming from. His spot within the Dreams was different than the girls and the others. He Dreamt at a much slower pace, but considering the circumstances -- what he did know -- he figured this question was inevitable.
Qrow removed his foot from the coffee table and sat a little straighter. Instinctively, his hand reached for a flask tucked in a breast pocket, only to find that not only was it not there, he didn’t have a breast pocket. His huntsmen’s clothes were upstairs, tucked away in a closet.
He took a breath and settled for folding his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. “Not exactly,” he answered slowly. “We all knew each other, or knew of each other,” because regardless of whether or not she was actually around, Raven sure as hell would have known about Summer, “But we were never a team. Raven met your dad first. I met him later, but I didn’t really know him until after Yang was born. I originally didn’t mean to stay, but when Raven left, I couldn’t abandon Yang the same way. Your dad and I…we didn’t exactly get along.” Qrow couldn’t help the slight smile that played at the corners of his mouth at the memory of him and Tai keeping each other at more than a simple arm’s length, but yet awkwardly attempting to get along in the interest of a Baby Yang, “but we managed to work it out. Then your dad met your mother…” here Qrow’s voice trailed a little. Summer was complicated. At least for Qrow. He’d had feelings for her, but at the time (and even now) he’d known he was no good for her. Tai was, and it was obvious to anyone how he felt about Summer.
Qrow abandoned that train of thought. “We were never a team, not like Team STRQ. But that didn’t stop us from bonding with each other. Eventually your dad and I became friends.” Brothers, if one were to really be honest, but neither Qrow nor Tai dared utter the word without “in-law” tacked to the end of it.
Qrows brows furrowed, “why do you want to know, Ruby?”
As Qrow started to answer part one of her question, Ruby was completely still and just listened. Given the nature of it, it was a lot deeper than the questions she usually would ask. But just because she was more likely to push down the bad feelings to keep moving forward and all, she knew that this was a complicated matter and one she never really knew all the details about. Because what was there for her to know? Raven had left before she was ever born, and then her mom was dead with a grave and everything and everything was still okay because she still had her dad and Uncle Qrow.
But the dreams complicated things and seeing things within her own team and wanting to fix it because that’s what she did even though she knew there was nothing in the current situation she could actually do then the latest dream heightening that anxiety…
“Well I was also wondering if, in the dreams, there was ever a point with Team STRQ where there were fissures but ones that you felt could have been fixed. I mean before mom….” Before Summer had disappeared and was assumed dead there but she didn’t want to finish that thought because Ruby could go to her grave and fill her in on things so thinking about why there was a grave wasn’t necessary. Not really. Or she just didn’t like to think about the why of it because it meant that she would never get to actually talk to her mom. No, she’d just go to the grave and talk to her that way and it was fine.
“And because things are going to be different no matter what is wanted… I don’t know. I guess I was wondering if the similarities were here as well and if there was a way to fix fissures before they get to a point that it’s too late.”
Qrow frowned slightly. From what he could tell from his Dreams, Team RWBY paralleled Team STRQ in many ways and he could understand Ruby’s concerns. Unfortunately he didn’t yet know exactly it was that had made Team STRQ crash and burn and ultimate tear itself apart. He had suspicions, feelings in his gut, but nothing in the way of proof. But even so, just because Team STRQ fell apart didn’t mean Team RWBY was destined for the same thing.
Qrow sighed and sat back in his chair. “There probably were,” he said of his Team and possible fissures. “We all have very distinct and strong personalities that ran the risk of clashing with each other. Just like your team has.” Here, Qrow leveled his eyes at Ruby, “but that doesn’t mean that you girls are us. Just because STRQ fell apart doesn’t mean RWBY will too. To be perfectly honest I think you four are stronger than we were, and you have more support than we had.” What remained of Team JNPR for example. The entire group was a force to be taken seriously.
He shifted in his seat slightly and set his foot on the coffee table again. “But, if you’re worried if something like that will happen to the four of you here, I’m not sure what to tell you. It’s possible. You are different people than your Dream counterparts. Everyday we become more like them, but their lives and our lives are different. I know you want everyone to be together, and I think that’s good. It’s good for you, and it’s good for them. As far as fissures are concerned, I guess it would depend on what kind of fissures you’re worried about. Somethings you can fix, Ruby. But there are somethings that you can’t, there are some people you can’t.” He smiled at his niece, “but I think it’s very telling of the kind of person you are that you want to try.”
The fact that Qrow said probably was a shock. Mostly because it meant that he didn’t know for sure, that even with the advantage of being a third party observer to see what might not feel so clear while in the Dreams….
“Wait, your dreams aren’t chronological?” Which caused Ruby to scrunch up her nose, “That sounds really confusing. Like more confusing than the dreams are usually.” At least there was a chronological progression for Ruby, so there wasn’t an ‘oh surprise this happened before that informs this thing that you were wondering about before’. But right. Not the actual point. Because she was still worried about the state of her team, though she nodded some as Qrow said that he thought they were stronger than Team STRQ and had support.
It wasn’t reassuring that it was possible her team could break apart, even if she knew that was always a risk. And she knew that if it were in the best interest for others, she’d accept and support them because that was what she did. She just didn’t like it. Which was why she sighed.
“I don’t think this is the kind of fissure I can fix. I mean, I can run interference and break up tension by getting in the middle if it looks like personal space is getting invaded so that it doesn’t explode and make things worse,” Something Ruby had gotten really good at without being obvious about it, “But the tension comes from the fact that what one person wants or needs is in conflict with what someone else wants or needs - specifically in regards to each other,” vague but it wasn’t like the specifics were her stories to tell, “And so no matter what happens, someone gets hurt or feels pressured,” Pressure Ruby herself felt as if she had to live up to who she was in the Dreams and she knew it was worse for Blake, “even though that’s the last thing that either wants to do to the other. And it’s no one’s fault, just like you said and as I’ve been trying to say…. Things aren’t going to be the same because we’re different and our lives are different and that’s not bad it just is…”
Because Ruby had always known that things would never be the exact same. She didn’t want to be. She wanted her team together, that friendship but she had always known and accepted that it wouldn’t be the same. But it still led to Ruby feeling helpless in situations like this because it meant she was stuck between her sister and the first friend she had really ever made - before she had started dreaming - and she didn’t want either to be hurt.
“I just don’t want anyone hurt but no matter what happens, I’m worried that someone is going to end up hurt or in a bad place with the way it’s going right now.”
Qrow shook his head. “I’m dreaming slower than the rest of you,” he explained. “And I think you all are ahead of me. Honestly, I think I’m more of a supporting character in them, and that’s fine. This is your story, kiddo. Your’s and Yang’s and Bake’s and Weiss’s.”
He smiled faintly at her. “I know you don’t want anyone to get hurt and I know you’re going to bend over backwards to make sure everyone is safe and happy. There’s no reason why you wouldn’t want to do that, they’re your friends and they mean a lot to you.” He wished there was some kind of magical fix he could tell his niece when it came to her team here, but unfortunately there wasn’t one. This was one instance in which he and Ruby were very different. Qrow cared about his family and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them. Friends? Well, that was a different story. He didn’t have many of those. He had colleagues and peers. He had a few drinking buddies he met at any given bar. But actual friends? No, he was greatly lacking in that department. In fact, he’d go so far as to say that he didn’t have any. That was by design on his part. But just because he didn’t have any friends didn’t mean he didn’t have an idea about how relationships worked. He and Tai had been at each other’s throats once upon a time and now the two of them knew each other better than they sometimes knew themselves.
“You’re still figuring each other out,” Qrow said. “You’ve only met each other over the past few months. You’re still finding out about each other, what your boundaries and limits are. Eventually, yeah, something might break. That’s normal. It’s what happens next that really defines a friendship. Someone’s feelings might be hurt, or they might be offended, but if they forgive the other person and the other person realizes what they did wrong, then bonds to form. It doesn’t happen all the time, you can’t force it, but that’s really the normal progression of things.”
A magical fix would be nice, though she knew that the things that were causing the tension and fissure weren’t things that could just be wished away. They were things that needed to be worked on, healed from, learned from. A magic fix would mean that none of that work had been done. It just was hard seeing two people she cared so much about at these points and knowing there was nothing to be done other than let time do its thing. That it was their journeys and all she could do was keep things from getting too tense or awkward and thus moving backwards.
Still, she listened and nodded some. She knew her uncle was right. And she knew that one of the main issues was the fact that there was a feeling of pressure about being the way things were in the Dreams. Ruby felt it herself. She just tended to throw herself into her engineering when it got to feel like too much. And for the most part, it wasn’t so bad at the moment. Not for her at any rate, but that was just her.
Then there was the fact that it sometimes felt like maybe something did need to break, corners be backed into and things finally said for some sort of moving on to happen. Ruby just didn’t like it and it made her anxious but given the current state of things…. Besides, Qrow did have a point, it was how they responded after that really would determine things.
“That makes sense.” Even if she hated conflict and thus did her best to avoid it.
“It’s not easy,” Qrow admitted, “but few things in life really are. You might not end up the same kind of friends you are in the Dreams, but you don’t have to be. You can still be close and be different. There isn’t anything wrong with that.” He gave Ruby a reassuring smile. “You guys will get there.”
It was at that moment that there was a knock on the door. Qrow blinked and glanced towards the front hall. He’d almost forgotten about the pizza. “Looks like dinner’s here,” he paused before standing up. “You gonna be alright, kiddo?”
“I’m not the one who needs to hear that, I’ve always been okay with that and am just happy being friends and how things are.” Which was the least vague she had been about the entire situation. And it did wear down on her as well but it was what it was. “I just...worry about people getting hurt.” Because that was simply who she was.
And there was the bell.
“I will be. It's just reminding myself that this isn’t a thing I can fix and all I can do is offer support and knowing that this is normal since...I haven’t really had friends before so its all new to me.”
Which was Ruby doing her usual thing of finding an optimistic spin on it once she was able to work through everything and getting some outside advice and perspective.
Qrow honestly hoped things with Orange County Team RWBY would work out in the end. It probably would involve some kind of blow out between the girls in order to get over the walking-on-egg-shells they seem to be doing around each other and actually start forming bonds.
He tousled Ruby’s hair as he passed the couch on the way to the door to get their pizza. “You got this,” he assured his niece.