York (badlocksmith) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-07-11 21:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, agent carolina, agent york |
Who: Agent York, Agent Carolina
When: Tomorrow, 7pm (June 29)
Where: [Name of Bar]
What: Meeting again for the first time.
Rating/Warnings: Low/some talk of military stuff
Status: Complete
York. James hadn’t been called York in ages. Not since… not since the accident, the explosion. Some of the PT guys had tried picking it up, since they’d heard Tex called him that. But the glare he’d leveled them shut the words right into their mouths. Now he had both Wash and Carolina here, and they picked up right where they left off? Calling him York once more. Because he’d loved musicals. Because he was a show tunes kind of guy. Because he’d owned it, and earned it, and that title belonged to him.
He was early. Ten minutes early, by his watch, and headed over to the bar to order a drink and try to calm his nerves. He and Carolina hadn’t left on good terms, exactly, but… but he’d loved her once. He hadn’t told her, and he should have, but it was obvious. She would have known. She should have known.
He pulled out his lighter while he waited for the drink, and started to click it absent-mindedly. A nervous tick he’d developed years and years ago--years before he’d first met Carolina--and had suppressed but never quite destroyed.
She had meant to be early, but the worry and the sheer number of butterflies in her stomach had brought her to the bar right on time instead. Two steps inside, even before her eyes had fully adjusted to the dim lighting, she spotted York’s familiar silhouette at the bar. It's really him. He's actually here. Alive. Carolina stood frozen for a long moment, watching a man she thought she'd only see again in her dreams. He was carelessly flicking his lighter at the bar, and suddenly she was 21 again, avoiding finals by dancing the night away with the frat boy that wasn't.
Carolina shook her head to banish the feeling. She had spent the better part of her military career denying that this man had stolen her heart all those years ago, and she was not about to change that now. Once, he probably could have pried the truth from her, forcing her to confront the feelings that even a blind man would have been able to see. Now, she was not even sure she could fall in love again. York deserved better than that. James, the redhead reminded herself for the millionth time that day. ‘York’ was a name reserved for those close friends that had become her family overseas. Considering how they had parted ways, Carolina knew long before he had asked her to call him James that she was no longer entitled to that privilege.
Still. There was the ghost of a soft smile on her face as she headed to the bar, keeping to the man's blind spot. Combat boots did not click as well as stilettos, but she was not trying to announce her presence anyway. At least not until she reached over and snatched the damn lighter right out of his hands. “After all this time, I thought you'd learned that zippos still aren't toys.”
The worst part about now was that York's--James's blind spot was much bigger than it'd been that first night at the bar. It felt like a lifetime ago when she snatched that lighter from his hand and said... well, almost that same line. It brought so many memories back, the most of which was having his arms wrapped around her. He turned to look, giving her a full-on view of his scarred face, and broke into a happy, somewhat nostalgic grin. He let himself live in those memories for a moment, enjoying the way they made him feel.
But it was short lived. It had to be short lived.
"Carolina." He said softly. "Jesus, you haven't aged a day."
When he turned to grin at her, Carolina found herself smiling happily back before she could catch herself. She had grown so used to seeing him with one good eye in her Dreams that it took her a moment longer than necessary to realize that something was off. The deep glass scars he had gotten from that ill-fated training session were gone, replaced with what looked suspiciously like the chemical burns she had seen on a few researchers as a kid. With a start she remembered that he should have two good eyes in real life. There was a flash of anger in her own eyes - Tex was supposed to protect him! - but then she was stamping on the feeling before it could go anywhere. It was thoughts like that which would send the two AI buzzing like tittering schoolgirls.
“Neither have your pickup lines.” The smile had not left her lips, but it had softened until just the ghost remained once more. She remembered why she was here. Carolina held up two fingers to the bartender as she pulled back the high chair to sit beside Yor- James. “You look good, James.” It was a statement of fact. The man was still just as handsome in her eyes, but the redhead hoped he would not catch just how relieved that sentence was.
“You're still an impressive liar,” York said, lifting his drink in a toast to her. He was grinning, though. He knew that he was a bit of a wreck. After the injury and discharge, he'd been lazy with his training and shaving. He was already starting to feel soft--which maybe meant that he belonged in southern California.
“It's good to see you,” he added, a bit more genuinely. James may have had an impressive poker face, but Carolina had seen through it every time. He couldn't lie to her. Even after the end.
He realized he'd gone sentimental, so he sat up and cleared his throat. “What are you doing in Orange county?”
“I wasn’t lying.” I knew he would look better with a beard. With an odd smile, she reached up as if meaning to brush her fingers against the stubble before she caught herself mid-reach. The action was entirely too familiar for old Marine buddies. That was what they were, now. Carolina cleared her throat and reached for her beer instead. “How’s the eye?” She asked gently, hoping that war wounds were still considered safe territory.
Poker faces were Carolina’s forte and she forced herself to adopt the tiny smirk of one as she sipped her beer. “I came here looking for Wash.” Mask or no, she had a feeling James would know if she tried to stretch the truth. Until he hears the whole truth, and then I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t commit me to an institution like I almost did to Wash. Hopefully even the thought of her being crazy would be enough to make him turn around and go right back out of the county before he could get swept up in Valarnet.
The odd movement wasn’t lost on good old James. He saw her hand coming toward him, even with his bad eye--and almost wanted to be touched. It’d been so long since he’d been touched. Of course there was the baby hanging off of him, and his brother and sister-in-law’s hugs. There were doctors inspecting his face and eye, and taking blood pressure. There were handshakes, too… but none of that came anywhere close to a lover’s caress. But her hand moved to her drink, which was for the best. They weren’t lovers. Hadn’t been for a long time.
“It’s fine.” He lied. But he didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted to get drunk and forget that he didn’t know who he was anymore. So he gulped from his glass and set it back down again. “And you found him, I heard. What’s he doing down here?”
Carolina arched an eyebrow at the obvious lie. She had half expected some smart comment about how the ladies loved a guy injured in combat. When it didn’t come, she tried not to be too disappointed. He was a different person now. They both were. It was for the best. Or at least that was what she kept telling herself. Besides, it was many years too late for those lines to work on her anymore. No matter what he looked like now.
“He was transferred down here to recover after...after he woke up.” At least this time she had barely paused. Green eyes glanced at James. If he did not want to talk about his eye, she doubted he would want to talk about what had happened to him and Wash that night. “After I caught up with him, I figured I’d stay here for a bit. You know, watch his six, knock him on his back a few times...the usual.” Carolina’s smile turned fond as she spoke about her brother. She’d pinned him again on the mats this morning. He still could not get the upper hand in their daily matches, although Wash was getting better every day.
Carolina took a long drink of beer before half-turning to face James. “What about you? What have you been up to since you were discharged?” She had almost said ‘left’, but that was asking to open a whole other can of worms that she did not want to touch right now.
...after he woke up. The words sent huge waves of guilt and shame washing over James--York--James as the memories from that horrible night came back to him. Everything he'd experienced had been nothing in comparison to what had happened to his friend Wash. To go through the injury, the recovery, to be all alone. And James was at fault. He should have been there. He'd stayed for a while, not leaving his friend's bedside, but things were falling apart. He couldn't just turn his back on what everyone else was going through, too--losing a teammate, then watching one die in front of them? And Carolina... he should have fought harder for her. But she'd made her feelings very clear by that point. So he had to go, for his own sanity. Now he regretted it. He regretted everything.
"That's what we do," he said, trying to smile. Though, now he was wishing he'd ordered a round of shots. "It's only been a few weeks," York explained. "I've been crashing on my brother's sofa and trying to make myself useful around his house."
’That’s what we do.’ We. Carolina shook her head, about to tell York that Wash was not his responsibility. That neither of them were and he should go back home and be happy, far, far away from here. From her. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him all of that, before she saw his attempt at a smile. She swallowed the words, sending them off with another long drink of beer. He looked lost. Jesus. Carolina never thought she would see the day when York - James - of all people would look like he had no clue what to do anymore.
Whatever had happened between them in the past, Carolina was James’ CO. It was a responsibility she had always taken seriously, even when those in her squad had moved on to other things. Gently, she placed one hand on James’ shoulder. It was a small comfort, but not one the redhead was apt to give very easily. “Come on, then. Get us a pitcher or two and meet me at a table toward the back. I like this bartender and I’d rather not have him think I’m crazy while I try to convince you otherwise.”
Being through such a traumatic experience changed a man. Losing his eye turned James--York into someone else. Now he was tasked with trying to figure out who that someone else was. So much of him still felt intact, so much of the past hadn't suffered, and yet the present and the future were altered beyond recognition.
"On it, boss." James said in his best York impersonation. He turned to the bartender and ordered the beer, then collected two glasses and the pitcher. He turned to head to the back of the bar, biting on his lip as he walked. He probably should have ordered a couple sets of shots first, to get them started. This was probably going to be an awkward conversation.
The table in question was far enough away to make sure they would not be overheard but still close enough that she could probably flag down the bartender for another pitcher if - when - necessary. Carolina sat down, pulling her hair back into a low ponytail while she considered her options. She was not about to lie to her former XO, but it was going to be difficult to make him believe her. Hell, the only reason she had believed Wash that first night was because she had owed it to him to give him at least the benefit of the doubt. James was under no such obligation.
She reached for the pitcher and pints almost as soon as they touched the table. Her first pint was long gone from the moment she had decided on this foolish plan. Telling the truth did not mean she had to remain sober, after all. This would be so much easier with tequila. Carolina lamented, but not enough to speak up. The lighter from her Dreams was gone. It was as if the moment the actual person had stepped back into her life, her Dreams made sure to take him away.
Beer poured, Carolina slid one over to her companion. “How much do you know about parallel universes?”
Slipping into the seat opposite hers, James passed over the pitcher and glasses happily. He watched Carolina pour the beer, and reached for his glass once it was done. Then her question hit. He raised an eyebrow at her question. “What, you mean like, Evil Spock kind of parallel universes?” Then he sipped.
“More like a science teacher dreaming that he's a Vulcan in a different universe.” Carolina wondered how anyone could explain this place without sounding like he or she was describing the plot from a bad science fiction movie. “And then waking up one day to find that he’s become one in this universe.” She took a long drink from her beer. They had gotten pretty damn lucky in her opinion. A lot of people on the network woke up to find they were literally a different species. Or a vampire. Or a mage stuck in the dark ages. Yeah, there were worse things to Dream about than being a Space Marine.
That caused one eyebrow to raise gently on James’ face. He leaned back a little in his chair and set the pint glass down onto a coaster. It took the man a moment to process what she’d just said, and then James brought both hands to rest on the table. “A Vulcan.” He said, not really understanding what she was on about. “He wakes up a Vulcan.” It was a question even if it didn’t sound like one.
There it was. The look of ‘you’re joking, right?’ that was displayed oh so neatly with the mere raising of an eyebrow. Carolina had long mastered that look and she did not like the fact that she was the cause of such a look. “A Vulcan. Green blood and all.” Another long drink of beer. “And he’d probably manage a mild-meld with his girlfriend, if he wanted to.” At least, that was how things seemed to work.
James spent a moment trying to work out the logistics of that in his mind, but aside from the amusing thought of Spock with a girlfriend, he wasn't sure he really got what was going on here. “You've lost me.”
Carolina set down the nearly-empty glass. At least he was trying to understand. “In this place, people Dream about other worlds. Except they’re not normal dreams. They’re more like memories of a different life. Not always a better life.” In her dreams she and York had managed to somehow maintain a relationship while fighting with their squad. That was different. We were equal under the Director. I lead them, but I was not his CO. The thought was scathing, as if she were trying to justify a decision she had made over a decade ago.
“And then sometimes things...carry over from those dreams. People who dream about being Vulcans become Vulcans. If someone is stabbed in their dreams, he or she wakes up with the wound here.” Or gunshots, head wounds, neural implants, or even debilitating comas. “It can be...dangerous.” As far as Carolina knew, people did not die from the Dreams themselves, but she had already heard of a few that had been killed by the bleedovers.
James took a long moment to think about what she’d just said. He lifted his glass and gulped from it, then set it back down again on the coaster. It was half gone already. “Carolina,” He said, turning his eyes to look into those green ones he knew so well. Those eyes that he’d loved so much so many years ago. “You’re not talking sense. Things carrying over from Dreams? This is Orange County, not Hogwarts.”
Those books had gone around their squad back in the day, and everyone had taken a turn reading them. James went a little sheepish at the memory. “You’re talking about stuff that can’t possibly exist.”
“I know it’s not Hogwarts.” Carolina wanted to snap at the man, but she was not sure it did not come out as a resigned sigh instead. She shook her head. Proof. What proof could she possibly provide to make him believe her? Last week she had been in a coma and the month before she had looked like she had tried to wrestle with a semi, but now?
’Hesaiditwasgoodtoseeyou.’ ‘Hehasafamilynowhecannotaffordtogetinvol
SHUT UP! Both of you! Carolina growled, shaking her head to try and shake away the damned whispers. One hand automatically moved to the base of her neck, pressing hard against the dual ports that housed the A.I.s. At least she did not have her armor on. The former CO would have bet dollars to donuts the twins would have been out and causing a scene that she would likely have to smooth over as some sort of 3D television malfunction. That was what the Agency did, after all. I’d rather shoot at demons or stormtroopers.
“Look, I know it sounds crazy,” Hell, I feel like I’ve gone insane half the time, especially with these damned A.I.s. “But it’s the truth. Or at least what I can make of it. This place has a habit of making the impossible, possible, and usually dangerous on top of all that.”
James just sat for a moment, staring at the woman opposite him at the table. She was talking about craziness--people turning into something else? People Dreaming things that made them change? And there she was, talking about aliens. Vulcans. And whatnot. It was insanity.
“At least you know it sounds crazy,” James said, frowning a little as he set his glass down. If he was going to have to deal with more of Carolina’s apparent insanity, he’d probably need a refill He reached out and refilled his glass. “I just don’t know why you’re trying to scare me away.”
“Because if you stay here, there’s no guarantee you won’t get caught up in this. I don’t want you to-” Carolina shook her head. The memory of what she supposed was going to be their last meeting in the Dreams was still vivid behind her eyelids. It was selfish. Completely, one hundred percent selfish. She didn’t want him to Dream, because if he did, he would see her pushing him away again as she had in real life.
Taking a deep breath, she tried again. Honesty was the best policy, right? God knows he deserved it. Or at least part of it. “The Dreams that I have, well, you’re in them. Wash’s too. In the other universe… things happen. To you, to me, to Wash…” Carolina hesitated, hating herself for it but pushing through anyway. “I want you to be happy, James. Not wondering if you’re going to wake up with a bullet or knife wound just because you Dreamt it would happen.”
No matter what she said, it still sounded absolutely insane. He wasn’t sure she was going to listen to him, though, so he decided he’d play along. “...what exactly do you Dream about when you Dream about me? Please tell me it involves furry handcuffs and feathers.” Same old York, turning an almost awkward situation into something funny. He leaned heavily on his sense of humor at times when he wasn’t sure what else to say.
Carolina ran a frustrated hand through her hair. She couldn’t blame him for not believing her. Hell, even after the dreams started, she...The former Marine shook her head. This was not going to work so long as York believed she was trying to pull his leg. “If I dreamt about furry handcuffs and feathers, what makes you think it would involve you?” Flirting. Why the hell was she falling into old habits and flirting when she should be trying to figure out a different way to get James to change his mind and get out of town?
Actually, that reminds me… Wash had told her the little joke he had tried to pull with his nephew. Carolina carefully put a rueful look on top of a poker face. “If you don’t believe me about this place, you’ll never believe me if I tell you about my Dreams. Our Dreams.” She reached over to refill her glass and gave him a thoughtful look. “Although, I might have something back home that would count as proof.” Futuristic armor counted, right? “Why don’t you come over tonight for an after-bar snack to take a look? I’m sure Wash would love to get to see you again.”
"Come now, Carolina," James said, fingers wrapped around his glass. He put on a smirk, the likes of which he hadn't worn in quite some time. This was the flirting-with-Carolina-smirk. It'd laid dormant for years. "How could you be dreaming about furry handcuffs and feathers without me?"
He raised an eyebrow, watching her refill her glass, letting her words roll over him. "Are you inviting me back to your place? Carolina. Please. You've got better lines than this one. If you wanted in my pants, all you had to do was ask." He took a beat, those words sinking in. Maybe he’d been barking up the wrong tree? “...Wash? You live with Wash?”
“I think you're trying to superimpose your dreams onto mine.” She knew that smirk. It had been years, but she could never forget that particular smirk. It used to give her rather vivid dreams. Carolina tried to hold on to her annoyance, but it was difficult. There had always been something about James that made her shoulders relax, knowing he would be at her six even when she wanted to snap his head off.
Amused. Carolina made sure she looked amused; York would suspect something with an innocent look. “He didn't tell you?” It was probably a bit petty, but hey, he had picked on her brother. More importantly, he had picked on him where she had not been around to see the look on Wash’s face. Then again, had she been there, just seeing York with a kid would’ve made her own stomach flip. “We moved in together back in May, after he took me to Disneyland for my birthday.” Where they had ended up fighting waves of stormtroopers. James probably would not believe that part just yet.
"Maybe," James said, grinning softly at the teasing conversation. It felt good to tease, easier than dealing with the insanity that they'd just been talking about. He was more than willing to put that aside for the moment, to flirt mercilessly with his old flame. That was... until the Rookie came up.
"No. He didn't say." James added, the grin fading a little. He forced it back, though it was likely painfully obvious to Carolina just how forced it was. "Somehow I can't imagine you and Washington in Disneyland together." He couldn't really imagine her in Disneyland period. Not after the darkness at the end of their relationship. Their working relationship.
Carolina took a sip of beer as she struggled to keep a straight face. If York was using Wash’s full nickname, it was definitely working. “It was the first time either of us had gone, actually. I guess you could say it was...memorable.” And a hell of a lot of fun. “He'd asked before, but after that it just made more sense.” To have a single base of operation where they could retreat to and defend against whatever this place threw at them.
That was only part of the truth, though. When she had returned to Texas after losing nearly her entire unit, she had been lost. The Carolina that had led the squad of states on so many missions was gone, replaced by the shell of a woman with no direction. If her father had not told her about Wash, she would likely still be there, trying to drown the memories in whiskey and night clubs in Austin. It had been finding her brother, and then keeping him safe, that had given her a new mission and a chance to start again. Here, she had to keep it together, but if she didn't, there was a door that was always cracked open that wouldn't turn her away. Green eyes softened as she looked at her beer. “This place really is insane, James, but...it let me find Wash. I can't - I won't leave without him, but it's not too late for you to go, before it sweeps you away from anything you ever thought was normal.”
Oh, it was working. James, York, was thinking about Washington and Carolina together, and it was very distracting. Of course, she’d move on. He wasn’t expecting her to be hung up on him forever… not like he’d sort of been hung up on her. She’d made her feelings about him clear. It felt like two lifetimes ago.
“I see,” he said, nodding. The smile had faded considerably by now, slipping off his face as his thoughts wandered a bit. “Well, I’m glad that you two found one another,” he added. “...but I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got a good thing here--at least, as long as my brother will let me crash on his sofa.” He couldn’t even imagine trying to find a place on his own, looking for a job, going through therapy for his eye… And going home to his parents wasn’t an option. James wasn’t that kind of guy.
Of all the reactions she had imagined from York, disappointment had not been one of them. Incredulity, definitely. Jealousy, a bit. Shock and confusion were what she had been going for, but the resigned look in his eyes made her want to frown. Come to think of it, why hadn't York ended up married with kids yet? He was a sexy man and a damn fine Marine. She knew for a fact that he could have any woman he wanted - even if she had tried to tell herself that she wouldn’t be jealous of whomever ended up in the man's heart, that didn't mean she would have to like it or them - and nothing had happened between them for so long that she doubted he was trying to be mindful of her feelings. While she may not be the marrying type, James had always struck her as the kind if guy who would end up with a picket fence and a pack of kids to raise with a beautiful military wife.
“I know how that goes.” Carolina nodded sympathetically. She waited a moment more before continuing. “When my temp lease was up, I also crashed on my brother's couch for a while before we got our current place. Wash said he didn't mind me taking over his living room, but I wanted a bed of my own.”
The best explanation for the resignation was that his accident had changed him. James was struggling with his place in the world. His physical deformity was definitely a hindrance, even though his optimism and nonchalance were still there. His personality had been altered. While he was still James--still York--he had issues now. More than he’d had before. And they made him less confident.
And there were reasons that Carolina and Washington would have found comfort in one another. They had been through so much together. James lifted his beer to gulp from it, finishing off what was left in the glass and then reached for the pitcher to refill. He was gonna need it. To wash away those thoughts. Carolina and the Rookie. Seriously? Wash was a great man, and James should feel happy for them. But he was--
Wait, what? Confusion crossed over the scarred man’s brow. A bed of her own? Taking over Wash’s living room? He didn’t understand. “What?”
He was different, but they both were. Carolina may seem mostly unchanged and as confident as she had been before she had resigned her commission, but she had already lost track of the number of nightmares plaguing her sleep that had nothing to do with the Dreams. Half the time she had ended up curled on the floor, armed with only a pillow and blanket, The other half she spent pacing as the two voices in her head refused to let her mind rest enough to have any dreams at all.
At least now York's face had finally given way to the confusion she had been expecting. She eyed the pitcher; they were going to need another soon. Hell, she doubted she would even manage to get a second pint out of it at the rate James was going. Carolina figured that she had teased him long enough for him to make sure that Wash would probably get to see some sort of reaction if the conversation came up. Then again, the truth had surprised the shit out of her, too. “Wash,” the redhead said mildly over her glass. “Is my brother.”
A moment of passed, and then comprehension replaced the confusion on York’s face. He put two and two together and realized… she was fucking with him. Either she’d been fucking with him about Wash and her being together, or she was fucking with him about Wash being her brother. He frowned a little. “You’re buying the next pitcher.” He said, then leaned back in his chair.
So. If they were romantically involved, Wash surely would have said something. But he didn’t. And the way she explained that he was her… brother? Wouldn’t Wash have said something about that? How could it be they were brother and sister and didn’t know?
“Fair enough.” Catching the bartender's eye, she waved the nearly-empty pitcher and received a nod in return. Turning back to James, Carolina could not help but give him a mischievous smile. “Wash told me you teased him with your nephew. Consider this payback.” As CO, she had not often participated in the inevitable prank wars within their squad, but when she had, she made sure to end it.
Once the new pitcher had arrived, Carolina drained her glass. “Technically, he's my half brother.” She explained as she refilled her beer. “My father told me he existed when I was...on leave. That's why I came here looking for him. He was probably too surprised you were here, alive, to say anything. We thought…I thought that you were...The last I heard of you and Tex, your entire unit was MIA.” How had he survived, anyway? Scuttlebutt always had a root in the truth, no matter how far removed from the situation.
James took a couple of sips from his glass, just for something to do. He cleared his throat, though, when she mentioned his nephew, and couldn’t help but enjoy that memory. “Wash really didn’t want to be fucked with,” he said, that mischievous grin coming back to his lips. “But I couldn’t help it. He was just so… Seeing him again after all this time reminded me of how things used to be.” Then he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.
“They went on without me. I had to fall back because of the explosion.” James pointed up at his deformed face. His eye was glassy and white, and the scars probably shone in the dim light. “I have no idea what happened to Tex or the rest.”
Carolina smirked at the thought of Wash likely stating that exact phrase. “Yeah, he gets rather touchy about things sometimes. You know, he still wants to know what happened to Georgia.” She tried to ignore the second part of that statement. It had been her fault that things had changed, not just in that exercise, but afterward, with the new rookie and how she had tried to take on the most dangerous jobs, refusing to listen to reason even when he was practically yelling it in her ear. Her fault. She had been so wrapped up in seeing him again that she had somehow forced herself to forget all the reasons why York- James might not want to see her in return.
She wanted to apologize, but the words refused to form, so she looked back at him instead. He would make a great pirate. Odd as it was, that was the only thing she could think of as he indicated the damage. Green eyes studied the white eye and scars, but they were more curious than anything else. There was no sympathy or pity in her eyes or face, although the urge to touch the scars was definitely there. If York had not gotten this injury, he would be with Tex right now, MIA and considered dead. “Thank God…” Carolina murmured before she caught herself. She cleared her throat, hoping the warmth in her cheeks was more imagined than real. “I mean, I’m glad you’re okay.”
“What happened to Georgia? Duded he does not wanna know.” York took another sip from his glass, finally slowing down a little. His eyes were on Carolina, his face curled into a smirk. Georgia. Jesus.
Then one of his eyebrows rose. Thank God? But then Carolina amended her statement, and James leaned forward against the table. “I’m glad I’m not MIA like the rest of them, but… my face, Carolina.” It was a moment of weakness. Maybe he had his tongue loosened by the alcohol. Maybe he felt safe, or scared, or whatever. In a moment of uncharacteristic bitterness, he sounded weak and lost. “My eye’s shot to hell, I can’t pass a vision test. I lost my job, my future, my everything.” He certainly didn’t wish he’d died in that explosion, but… life was harder now than it’d ever been before.
Both of her eyebrows rose a bit at the admission. “So what?” Carolina said, her voice firm, but not unkind. “You’re alive, York. So you lost one future. That doesn’t mean you can’t create a new one for yourself. What happened to you or to your eye doesn’t define who you are. All it can do is give a starting place for the person you will become.”
She looked down, considering and steeling herself. To help him, she could not let her past feelings get in the way. The good as well as the bad. This York had not betrayed her and the Project. It was her duty to help him. Her duty, and her honor, as it had always been. “You’re not alone, York. James.” Carolina gave him a small smile to apologize for the name slips. “Wash and I aren’t going anywhere, and it sounds like you’re not either, as you’re stubbornly refusing to believe me when I say this place is dangerous.”
James--York--took in her words and chewed on them silently for a few minutes. She was right, of course. He didn’t want her to be, and he’d considered it before, but it was the truth. It interrupted the self-imposed pity party that York wished he could participate in. One he was on the road to until Carolina derailed him.
“All right, then.” He said, lifting the glass. He was desperately trying to bring back his optimism. “Here’s to not being alone, and to creating a new future.”
Carolina let him mull over her words, giving him as much time as he needed. The woman was not known for her kindness or sugar-coating of the truth, but she was not someone who would rip off a bandaid without staying to make sure the wound did not need to be dressed again. Her shoulders relaxed as he finally spoke again and she clinked her pint glass with his. “To a new future.” He’ll be fine. The woman reassured herself as she took a long drink. If he was that concerned about his eye, then that would be the first thing that needed to be changed. What had she been thinking earlier? Oh yes. “So, have you considered piracy as a possible new career choice?”