Rangiku is like a cat: lazy and beautiful (decadenthonor) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-11-17 14:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, gin ichimaru |
Who: Gin & Rangiku
What: Truthy-goodness or How to Make Your Un-Girlfriend Sad, happy, sad, happy, happy in all one night!
Why: Rangiku got Truth'd by the OC.
Where: His/her place
Status: Complete
Rating: R for language, I think
Rangiku was curled up in bed under a pile of blankets hiding from the world. She had her phone but she was taking to ignoring it because she couldn’t even lie via text. Nothing worked and it was driving her nuts. Not that she made a habit of lying but some things she just HAD to lie about. She sighed softly and nestled down deeper. Today was made of suck. How long was THIS going to last?
She only peeked out over the blankets when she heard the door open. “Hi” she called out softly before unburying herself enough to look at her (un)boyfriend and sigh softly. She was telling the truth [obviously] about answering any questions he had for her. She would. And she was kind of looking forward to seeing what he was going to ask her.
Gin had his usual smile on his face, as he hip-check bumped the door open the rest of the way. Until he got another job, he was taken to lounging around in a tank top and boxers, often with one of those fluffy white robes thrown on over it. Today was no different. It made his hair stand out even more since it was so close in color to what he had on, even if it was a little damp from the shower he had taken a little while ago. In one hand was her cup of tea, and in the other, her poptarts. It's the breakfast of champions.
As for the questioning? He was only poking fun at her and wasn't serious about doing that. There was a tiny part of him that was curious to see how this latest batch of weird was working, but he didn't want to be cruel about it. At least not to Rangiku and not on purpose, he hoped. Everyone else was fair game to screw with for a laugh, but Rangiku was exempt.
Ok, fine, only a little exempt. Sometimes.
He set the tea and poptarts down, then looked like he was going to sit down on her, only moving at the last moment so that didn't happen.
"Howdy." He flashed her a disarming grin. "Sounds like ya got a lil' unable-to-lie problem, huh?"
She eyes him as he moved to sit on her. "Yep. Can't lie. Couldn't lie for a million bucks." Not that she lied often but it was your daily white lies that were giving her trouble. Like if someone asked her how she was she couldn't say fine. It was annoying.
"Thank you for these." She gestured to the tea and pop tarts. "This is frustrating. I'm so worried I'll say something to break my promise to you.” She scowled. She didn’t want to hurt him. She was terribly worried about it, and was ready to lock herself in his room until it was over. She’d already made a fool of herself to Jessie.
With this happening, he wouldn't even dare ask if she was ok or how she was doing. He knew the answer wouldn't be a good one anyway, much like it had been when she couldn't talk. This probably wasn't going to be easy on her either, considering how much she liked talking. It wasn't easy on him either, considering that he liked listening to her.
"I told ya that I'd take care of you. And I know ya wouldn't do it on purpose, if you slipped right now," he told her, turned enough to reach over with one hand, sweeping his fingers over her forehead and smoothing some of her hair away from her face. He had no idea she had talked with Jessie, not that it would be a bad thing if he did. He had already applied his label to things on a level he was comfortable with. That was that. "It's not only that I don't want things blown for me, but I also don't want ya feelin' bad."
Asking her if she was ok was like asking for a short story. Rangiku loved to talk but she also had tact when she wanted it. Not being able to lie at all was hard and she was so worried about spilling his secrets she felt ill.
She closed her eyes at the touch. "I know. Would still hate myself," she said honestly. She leaned on him gently. "You worry so much about me. I love you. "
Emphasis on when she wanted it, since he could remember plenty times in those dreams, when she had zero tact. That was mostly when she was drunk or angry...or both. Luck for her, he thought that it was hilarious and loved her all the more for it.
The other sad part of this situation was that she didn't even know all of the secrets. Gin continued to pet her hair, thinking on that for a moment. His dream self didn't seem to worry about her enough considering that he took off so often and then ditched her entirely.
"...I don't want ya hating yourself, even if you did spill it on accident," he told her. "I love ya too, and I know it's not like you can help it right now. I'd be a poor excuse for a roommate too, if I dinnit worry and try ta take care of you."
Because, yes. Roommates. That is what they are.
She had a love of being blunt. It made life more fun some days. Although it was usually when she was drunk and angry that she forgot to use her filter. And this was like those times but without the fun drunk affect. Or even the anger. It sucked and she hated it right now.
Rangiku soaked up the attention, enjoying it as she sat there next to him. Feeling sorry for herself. Feeling tired of the OC fucking with her. Nothing she did seemed to stop the OC from making her it’s little bitch but at least others were affected to, otherwise she’d really feel homicidal.
The corner of her eye twitched, fingers clutched the blanket a little harder. She didn’t think he realized how much it stung. And she had to bite her lip to keep from saying anything at all. She knew her words would come out hurt, and harsh, and she didn’t want to make him mad at her. She just wished he’d not use that term around her, in private. She’d come to terms with it in public.
“Ain’t the point, really. I just worry.” she shrugged a bit, but refused to say anything on the other half of his comment. “Thank you, for worrying.”
For someone as evasive as he was, Gin appreciated her bluntness. It made her easier to read, including times when she was trying really hard not to say something to him. Like when her eye twitched like that and her hand looked an itsy bitsy bit white knuckled for a few seconds. They were in private and in no danger of being interrupted, which was why he asked her in a faintly teasing tone of voice, "What's not the point, Ran~gi~ku? That I'd be a bad roooooooom-----ahhh, is that it?"
It dawned on him before she even had to answer, and he smiled at her in the hopes that it would lessen the harsh reality of his next statement, "It's easier in the long run if we get used ta usin' it when we talk, yeah? That way it kinda gets cemented real good in here. It's kinda like that positive reinforcement stuff. I'm positively reinforcin' it."
He lightly and playfully tiptapped a finger against the side of her head.
She almost decked him for being such a jerk about it all. She was an open book to him, no matter how hard she tried to check herself. Sometimes she just had to give up and know he knew her better than she knew herself. Instead of decking him, she flicked her hand up and caught his tap tap tapping finger on her head.
Rangiku’s jaw was tight, muscles tense as she looked at him. Storm clouds gathering in those blue eyes even as she fought it down. Irrational anger was not something she wanted to give into right this second. She knew her day was already rough. Truth telling was a bit of a bitch.
“Doesn’t make it feel any better,” she said between clenched teeth, trying her best not to say anything stupid. Or further. “Please don’t make it any harder than it already is,” she said quietly, fingers moved to slip up into his. “Don’t think I don’t understand. I may not know the reasons but I get it. But don’t expect me to be all peachy with it, at least in private, alright? I’m working on it. I’ll get there. But I’m not there yet,” she said with a confident tone of voice, although it was much gentler than the first half of her statement.
Her next statement was hard to hear herself speak. “I love you. I’ll do anything for you, but please don’t get mad when my eye twitches when you call us just that, alright?” She looked up at him, eyes soft, clouds fading as she tried to come to grips with it. She’d get there in the end. Even if she didn’t like it none. “I’m trying”
For a few seconds he looked a little blank faced as he listened to what Rangiku was saying. Squinty, but blank faced. Then it was like it all dawned on him and he found what she said to be funny enough to bust out in a big grin, to let her know it was 100% fine.
"Wha? Wow, you're kinda silly." He had raised one eyebrow a little higher than the other, but then laughed and shook his head, giving her hand a squeeze to reassure her. "I ain't mad at all. That was more of a 'whoops' moment when I realized it than anythin', which is why I tried ta explain it so it'll all make more sense to you. But see? You're gettin' it already. That's good. You'll come ta terms with it 'ventually. Doncha worry 'bout it, though? I ain't."
The look on Rangiku’s face went from complete disbelief to anger in about .6 seconds. Her eyes went wide in shock. Then blinked oh so slowly. Men! She never understood why they didn’t get what was supposed to be a heart filled moment and then turned it into something funny. That hurt more than helped.
She squeezed his hand then shoved him cleanly off the bed, hard and she refused to be gentle, although she made sure to shove him away from the end table. She may be pissed but she did love his stupid ass. She was trembling in anger. “SILLY?!” Her chest heaved as she tried to breathe and wrangle herself back under control but it was a bit late for that. She opened her mouth to say something else, was too mad to actually speak and rolled out of bed on the same side moving over him, dropping the blankets back to the bed and staring at him.
“MEN. You spill your heart’s worries and fears to them and watch as they turn it into something funny. Something silly. A game,” she said, her voice dangerously angry sounding. “It’s not funny. It’s not silly. It’s something that actually hurts to have to come to terms with.” She was breathless then heaved another sigh. She crouched down and put her face nose to nose with his. “You don’t understand what it means to me know I’m a hidden thing, damned be the reasons. And I love you. And nothing is going to make me stop. Make me walk away from this. From us. But if you love me you’ll try to be a little more understanding on this while I work on coming to terms with it.” She stared right at his squinty damn eyes. Hers were wet with tears that refused to fall, tears of anger.
He had landed on the floor with a tiny yelping noise and was about to sit up when she was out of the bed, looming over him. Gin decided right then that it might be better to stay in place than to try to hightail it, especially since he hit a nerve. He tried to smile to cool her temper a little bit, but it faded when she got all of that off her big, beautiful, heaving chest (yes, he looked) and more so when he noticed she looked ready to cry.
"I was only tryin' ta lighten the mood and tell ya that I wasn't mad or nothin'," he calmly replied, with both hands held up a little to show her that he meant no harm by it. "There's no reason for me ta be."
He didn't even really get angry when he stabbed anyone. It was simply second nature to him, and one more rung in the ladder to climb up past, so he could reach a final goal. Then, and only then, would he get his rage on. For Gin, revenge and his temper were things best served cold. It was a direct contrast to Rangiku, or any others who had tempers that got the best of them. Even so, because he wasn't afraid of her or her hot temper, he had to make sure she understood a little more in this life, whereas she might not have in the other. And he had to do it without giving up the details, no matter how frustrated she might get. He might even hear about how frustrated she was, since the OC was being a dick again. It was a risk he was going to have to take, like it or not.
"If ya knew the reasons, you'd probably be happy that you're a hidden thing and not an other thing. So reasons can't really be damned. They're good reasons. If worse comes to worse though? Ya ain't gonna have me makin' you walk away from this or us. If I haveta walk away to make sure you would be ok? I'd do it. I ain't sayin' that ta make ya angry and it isn't somethin' that I wanna do, either...so don't go flyin' off the damn handle about it."
Might be the smartest move Gin’s made all night, not getting up and out of the way when she decided looming was the best option. No, probably the only thing that hadn’t gotten him tackled and glomped and beaten to a pulp. She was in rare form and it only had taken a second. This OC truth thing was wreaking havoc on her poor brain. Tied with the dreams she was trying to understand, she was a big ole ball of confused frustration. This? Hadn’t helped.
Rangiku was trembling still although she hadn’t moved yet. She had no desire to move, she didn’t know if she’d have to slap him or if she could hit the floor and let her anger run it’s course. She didn’t even know what she was going to tell him next, the OC was really making her anger be a minor problem. Probably a good thing she wasn’t going to work, otherwise she’d probably lose her shit bad.
Yeah, she couldn’t really help it. “Probably? Hard to say if that’d be true or not.” Then her mouth ran away with her again. Even as she looked a little panicked at it all. “Hard to give you a straight answer when I don’t even get the chance to know. To understand. To agree or not.” She was feeling awful about just being so harsh, for her anyways. Then a burst of fire. “Don’t ever do that to me. Don’t make decisions about me without me. That’s not even FAIR,” she snapped at him. “I’d rather not be okay and have you than be perfect and NOT have you.“ Her eyes were wide in annoyance. “I’m already angry, so you don’t have to worry about making me angry. Sometimes, Gin, you’re truly the most selfish guy I know and I’ve been best friends with the most self-absorbed pain in my ass best friend since school started.” She meant Yumi, of course. “If you ever walk away from me for my own benefit, damn well remember this: I will find you and make you regret walking away for my own safety.” Yep, frustrated.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the O.C., Yumichika's ears felt like they were burning, and he hoped the talk about him was about how damn pretty he was. Because he is. Pretty. Damn right, bitches and ho’s. Best recognize.
And back in Deep-Shit-ville, Gin's eyebrows drew together as he frowned. It was lucky that his eyes were squinted shut, because then she couldn't see any flashes of cold determination as he listened to what she was saying. And he was listening to her and not brushing it off or making a game out of it. He knew when he could get away with some things or joke to blow off some steam, but now wasn't the time for that. He wasn’t even going totake a stab at...uhhhh...make a move to do that.
When she finally dreamed about him ditching her entirely, Gin had little doubt that this was only going to be the tip of the iceberg as far as her temper went. Maybe he could nip that in the bud, here. Evasively, of course. It wasn’t like he was going to divulge any details and maybe the entirety of Orange County realized that fact enough not to bother inflicting any truth telling on him.
"If it comes to it? It'll happen again. I ain't gonna make no promises," he told her, his lips curved down into a little frown. "Accounting's a bit more dangerous than you'd think it is, sometimes." He let out a little sigh. "I love you. I don't like lyin' to ya either, or not bein' able to tell you what's goin' on. I'm private 'cause I gotta be. So you can try ta find me if it comes to that, but I don't think you'd get far. And it may come to that. I gotta do what I gotta do. You don't get ta say no to any of it, even if it's selfish of me or if it pisses you off."
As far as he was concerned, she could stick that in her pipe and smoke it. She doesn’t get any say or any details. Nooooooope.
You try telling a hurricane no, you can’t make landfall here. It was as effective as telling Rangiku she gets no say. She’ll ignore you and have her say ANYWAYS. Kind of her thing, really. She ran her nails through her tousled blonde locks and just looked at him for a moment. Her temper was going to hit critical mass once she dreamed those dreams. Even if he did his best nipping job now, it might not stave off her utter anger.
“I didn’t ask,” she said, quietly. As if that explained it all. “You do what you have to do. Somehow I know no matter what I say it won’t matter. I’m not trying to stop you from doing what you have to do. I’m telling you don’t walk away from me because you’re protecting me. If you ever have to - for whatever reason - do it because of that reason. Not because of me. Keeping me safe is secondary to whatever you’re doing. “ She shook her head at him.
“And I love your lack of faith in me - I will find you if you disappear for too long.We can belabor the point for hours, but the fact of the matter is, I will. You of all people should know exactly how stubborn I really am,” she stated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then just to show how mad she was at him she gave him a patented glare. While he was safe from the OC’s fucking with, she seemed to be a magnet for it. [go Rangiku go!]. Oh well.
She leaned forward, her lips at his ear. “I love you with every fiber of my being, so if you think you can manage to not ditch me tonight, you may snuggle with me.” After I turn you into a bloody pulp on the ground, that is. Well, give you a black eye. Or something. because she was livid enough to just squish him. She didn’t. But she wanted to.
When she mentioned that she knew, somehow, that no matter what she said it wouldn't matter and he would do what he was going to do, anyway? He made a face that conveyed a heavy dose of 'yep, pretty much!' and even nodded a little bit. The rest it, though, he went right back to frowning a little bit as he listened...
...and then his brain went ‘pfft’ and he promptly chose to ignore most of it.
After all? He had gotten away with everything this far. Might as well continue the trend, or see how far he could push things.
"All righty. I betcha feel better havin' said all that," was the carefree sounding reply, as he reached up to wrap both arms around her and hold her close. That kept her from punching him! He then turned his head and placed a kiss against her ear, so he could whisper back to her, "I love you. I'll snuggle with you. And I'll let ya keep on thinkin' you got a snowball's chance in hell of catchin' me, if that's what ya wanna believe. I know you're stubborn 'nuff to try. Ain't thatta 'nuff?"
It would have to be, since he was trying to be cute and evasive again, as well as save himself from being pounded on. He not only had both arms wrapped around her, but also took the extra step of wrapping his legs around her too, so he looked like he was clinging onto her like a tall and skinny albino spider monkey.
Rangiku was still trembling with rage but he wrapped her up like a little spider monkey so what could she do? She sighed heavily and snuggled close, arms snaking around his. He was smart, if she was wrapped up she couldn’t beat the snot out of him. Had he just cut his comment in half, she might not have wanted to squish him in the face. But he didn’t and it left her a bit mad. But it was Gin. Did she expect different? no not really.
She didn’t have the heart to tell him there was a Hell, Michigan, in which it did in fact snow, thus there was a snowball’s chance in hell. She’d keep that one to herself and use it later. When she proved him wrong.
She laid her head against his and smiled softly. “You’re lucky you’re cute when you do that,” she said honestly. She couldn’t hit him when he was being this adorable. It was like kicking a kitten, you just don’t do that. She nuzzled her cheek against his and dragged him to sprawl in bed. “You better love me. You’re stuck with me,” she muttered.
Considering he was still on her like glue and grinning wildly, she was going to have to drag them both into bed. He is not dumb enough to let go. In fact, he happily nuzzled cheeks with her, because this was how he got on her good side again, and Gin knew all the ways to get Rangiku to not smash his face in with her fist.
"I better love ya, huh?" he asked, a little too sweetly. "No matter how muchuva selfish asshole I am, I still love you. That ain't gonna change, no matter what I say or do. Ever."
That was dragging with the pair of them. she wanted to go back to hiding under the blankets. She’d just make him come with for the moment. Probably safer not to let go. She could look calm but she’d probably smash his face in on general principle at this point. Being sweet was a win to get on her good side again. She was generally playful when in a good mood, always best to bring her back to that.
“S’what I said. You got ears. I know they work,” she teased back as she snuggled down with him and sighed softly. “Damn right it won’t.” she grinned at him. She loved him. Even when she was raging like a crazy scary storm.
"Nope, they ain't. I'm goin' deaf," he joked, letting her drag all the blankets back over them both. "Goin' lazy too. Your bad habits're finally rubbing off onta me."
He was unafraid of her temper, even when he should have been. He knew how to calm her down, and he was pretty sure there would come a day when she would try to track him down, because she had done that in his dreams, while she was injured. They were both stubborn people, only she was more overt about it and showed it, and he kept it all contained or a secret. Maybe he had mastered the fine art of storm taming, because he seemed happy as a clam...or it was a good show to set her at ease. One of the two.
He smiled and waited until she was settled in, before he asked her in the same too-sweet (and too-sly) tone of voice, "So if I asked ya any question, you'd wanna answer? With the truth? Or can ya stop yourself."
He might even have How To Play With Fire mastered, too. He seems good at it.
"Oh hush, you like napping as much as I do," she teased as they snuggled down and got comfy. Stubborn should be her middle name. She knew even figured if she was half dead here she'd track his skinny Ass down.
Then she listened to him start playing with fire. And smiled, unable to resist.
"I would. With the truth. Pretty hard to stop it from coming out. Whhhhy?" she asked sweetly.
He snerked when she hushed him and because what she said was true. He did like napping. It was their favorite pastime, besides him teasing her, them both drinking, and copious amounts of sex, with a side of sex. To make up for lost time she wasn't even aware of, quite yet.
He let go just enough to flop onto his back a little, one arm bent up and crooked over his head. The other arm was still under and around her to hold her close, and their legs were still tangled together. This way he could stare at her, and watch her reactions. To do so, his eyes were open a little, but the smile was still there.
"Oh, I could ask ya all sortsa things you probably don't wanna talk about, normally. Or things that I didn't wanna talk about, either. Clear the air now, so I know how much certain things're bothering you. Like the roommate thing. Which I know now, ya hate it....dont'cha?"
She loved drinking. And napping. And sex with a side of sex and sex for dessert. Rangiku knew that as well as he did. Silly kids.
She wasn't going to hit him. Yet. So she took pleasure In being tangled up with him.she snuggled cost wondering what he up to this time.
Oh. That. "You could. Although you're not bound to truth so you can't be forced telling me stuff yOu don't want to talk about," she said lightly. Her eye twitched. "Loathe it. Know you mean well. I understand to a point why but I loathe it"
Somewhere in there was food, because it wasn't a day unless Rangiku whined she was hungry and nothing readily available sounded yummy enough for her. Luckiest of the lucky? Gin found her whining cute. Thus proving that he is a very strange man, with very strange tastes, involving very hot, busty women.
"Would you be pissed off if it was forever?" His eyes opened a little more, since he knew that both of those things were loaded questions. He also really wanted to know. "Are you unhappy?"
Gin must be nuts to love her habits. She was one of those handfuls that made most people run away. Not that she minded. But now that he was here and she kinda remembered she was happy he loved her quirks.
Ooooo loaded questions. "Probably. It could change. I could get used to it. I just don't know. I know it hurts. Irrationally so." She stared right at him. Unwavering. "I know why you say you do it. I kinda get it butttt it sucks," a half sad smile. "Despite the harassment from everyone. Your sneaky 'I'm accounting' at night, which I still don't believe, I'm extremely happy. I'm unhappy with not knowing. With being called roommate. But overall I'm happy. Frustrated? Sure. But unhappy? No."
Gin was quiet and seemed to be thinking about what she said. He let the fingers of his other hand - which was well behind her back - idly toy with her hair.
"I don't want to hurt you," he said, leaving off the 'this time' that should have been tacked onto it. "I don't want to make you cry, or make you feel unhappy, or have everyone harassing you." He smiled, and even his smile seemed twisted into something more wistful than sneaky or playful. "I wish I could tell ya, Ran-chan. About the accounting and accidents with paper shredders, or any of it. But I don't wan’cha to get hurt, because of me."
And he already worried that just having her there might run the risk higher. Same with Jessie. But since he was home most of the time, the chances of something happening when he wasn't there, keeping an eye on them, was a lot lower than if he wasn't around all that much.
There weren't many people who could play with her hair and keep their fingers. Luckily Gin was one of those people. In fact she loved when he played with her hair.
"I know," she said quietly. She reached up to gently touch that wistful smile. "It's okay. Its part of life. As long as you can still make me smile we'll be okay." She canted her head at him. "Couldn't I get hurt without knowing too?"
It wasn't a prying question just a curious one. Rangiku smiled at him, a gentle quiet smile. She could handle herself and if something happened she'd prove it. If only because she didn't want him worrying about her getting hurt.
The smile was still there when she touched it, and it almost turned into a more playful one. Almost, because that faltered and puttered out entirely. He blinked hard, once, and his fingers stopped moving in her hair. Damn. She went and made a point like that. Maybe he did need to warn her a little bit, without letting her in on any super secrets.
"...I suppose so," he admitted, with the utmost reluctance. "I dunno, though. It's probably better if ya have less information, than more. If anyone breaks in, get the hell outta the house by punching your way out? Save the pets, first? Arm Jessie with a spatula?"
Did any of that work? Maybe not, because that last thing made him laugh a little bit, even if it was serious business he was talking about. He could really see her fending off angry Yakuza using kitchen utensils.
She watched it falter with a tiny sad smile. She hated when that happened. Her fingers fell to rest against some other part of him she could reach. Sometimes Rangiku knew good points when she thought about them. Thank you very much.
“Mmm” she said with a tiny smirk. She knew she’d made a good point and forced him into a small corner. She had given him room to evade, of course, but at least now he had to concern himself with that line of thought.
“Ferrets and kitty can handle themselves. I have a feeling I’ll be more likely throwing Jessie OUT of the house then bashing heads in than arming her with just a spatula.” She arched a brow with a smile.
“See? You have to think about the fact that even being here can be dangerous but I’m okay with this fact and I’m okay with taking on whatever comes my way. Someone comes after you here, well, they’ll just think I’m a pretty face and big boobs. But I can handle my own,” she said softly.
That was true. Rangiku probably would have the advantage over a whole slew of yakuza anyones that they sent at her, if worse came to worse. It didn't mean he was going to worry any less, no matter if he tried to make it seem like he wasn't. Speaking of doing that very thing, his face became that happy smiling facade it usually became, when things got tense or he had something to hide. It was second nature to do that, and it was done with the greatest of ease.
"Guess I'll be leavin' it to you. I mean, in case I ain't around, if armed whatevers bust in and try ta getcha." He shrugged a little like it wasn't a big deal but any further information wasn't being divulged. That was enough warning. "You protect Jessie and our furry kids, and try not ta bust up the house. I know you could do that, if ya had to."
It wasn't so much an evasion, as much as him standing in that corner and choosing to ignore that it existed.
He was allowed to worry. Good significant un-others did that for each other. She poked him the moment that sneaky smile curled back on his lips. She gave him a look that all but said get that fake shit off yer face and put a real one on. Without words and with more looks than anything. She wasn’t dumb. But she wasn’t going to push either. She’d won a tiny tiny victory getting this much out of him.
“No promises on the house, but I think I can manage the rest.” She winked at him, loving the fact he was ignoring the corner. But she wasn’t going to back him any further into it. He could do that on his own when he decided to. “Now I kinda wanna see an armed, angry, accountant come atcha.” she laughed softly. She didn’t need him to tell her anything else, not now, she knew it was his way of saying things without saying them that there was always a possibility.
But she was ready to stand and beat down anyone who tried. She was a bit stubborn like that. She nuzzled against him and kissed his chin, trying to relighten the mood.
“You brought me poptarts, feed meeeee?” She grinned.
The truth was, he did worry. He didn't let it show. Even his dream self had worried, now and again, but was too consumed by revenge and waiting for the perfect moment, to let it derail him or send him back to Soul Society. By then, he figured he was too far gone and killing Aizen was a task he had set for himself. That plan didn't include anyone else.
The same thing had applied in his waking life, too. Only now, he could see where things might go wrong. He still wanted to go through with it, because it was (once again) too late to turn back now that he had come this far. But it gave him a lot of food for thought, to chew on. It was only getting harder to chew on now that Rangiku was there.
"I'll get the house fixed if ya mess it up. Try not to have us sleepin' in a motel, if you can help it." Speaking of things to chew on, he gave her a profoundly teasing look, before asking, "Hell. Are ya too lazy ta grab yo' own food now? Next you'll want me to digest it for you, since you're gonna get so lazy you won't even want to do that either."
He laughed while trying to scoot them both across the bed, so his hand could reach over and he could do that. After all, he found her whining to be charming. Further proof that he is a weird man with weird tastes, where girls were concerned.
She gave him a reason to worry despite her not wanting to worry too much about her. She was headstrong and stubborn and more than happy to tussle with anything that got in her way. That did not make a good safe girl. That made for a girl who liked getting in the way of trouble. If he ever told her what was going on, she’d never make him stop. She knew him better than that.
“I’ll do my best,” she said sagely. “Yep. And nope that’s gross.” She grinned at him. “Feeeed meeeee,” she whined, knowing he liked it, and found it strange that he did but loved him for it all the more. She wiggled to give him room to get to the pop tarts.
“YAY! You love meeeeeee.” She didn’t want to talk about the hard stuff right now. They’d done that enough, hadn’t they?
"Of course I love ya, dumb butt," he joked, laughing as he he swiped the packet off the table and tried to open it, still with one arm around her. It looked like he was hug wrestling with her, and when it opened, there were crumbs flying. "Aww. Well? They landed on yo' side of the bed, so that makes it ok."
He held one to her lips for her to take a bite. Before she could do that though, he quickly yanked it away, took a bite off a corner for himself, and then held it back toward her lips. It was his payment for feeding her like that.
He was going to wait until she was chewing to ask something else, since he wanted to see her reaction. It was funnier in his mind's eye, if he waited.
She rolled her eyes at the mess then went to snag the piece. Giggling as he took it away from her, before she made a grab for it again, smiling as she did so. Then she took a bite and settled down to chew on it, and savor the taste of victory in the form of poptarts. As if that was a victory.
He let her have it, and he smiled oh-so-sweetly as she was holding it and eating it and chewing on it. Then he oh-so-sweetly asked her, "So, Rangiku? Tell me if ya thought about weddings and dresses and things."
He might get a poptart smashed against his face, but this was going to be so worth it.
She practically spit OUT the poptart all over his face. It took great control not to. Her lips twitched as she fought NOT to answer him. Then she wiggled to punch him in the shoulder.
“Not nice, Gin, not nice,” she managed before she sighed and gave up fighting it all.
“Of course I have. I’m a girl after all. It’s kind of part of our growing up. To be even creepier, I even know what dress I’d want.” Her lip twitched in annoyance at having to answer this as honestly as possible. “I know better, but you know, can’t help but think about it once in a blue moon.” she didn’t look at him, but stared at her poptart. Jerk.
He laughed sooooooooooooo hard at her when she looked ready to choke and even more when she punched his shoulder. He had to get both hands free so he could rub at it, and try to stop laughing, because he really didn't think she would appreciate that. Especially after her honest answer.
"Oh really," he said in a sly little voice. It was a nice thought, even if it was also one of those pipe dreams that wouldn't come to fruition. Maybe he liked to torture himself by thinking about it once in a blue moon, too. "What kinda dress is it?"
She was ready to beat him again. It was the hardest thing to admit all that to him knowing full well it wasn’t going to happen, it was pure torture for herself. She shyly reached for her phone, wiggling around him to get to it.
“I saved a picture of it awhile ago. heh.” She dug through her phone, lazily looking for the photo. “It’s not really a dress, not your typical American one anyways.” she was raised by nice, Japanese parents after all.
She showed him the phone and the photo on it. It was a beautiful red kimono. “Like that.” she spoke carefully, her voice a lil wavery. It wasn’t something she really wanted to think about again. Anymore.
So much for his teasing being funny. Gin's eyes were open as he stared at the photo and he wasn't laughing anymore. That? He could see Rangiku wearing. And it wasn't that he didn't want to marry her, but more he couldn't. Not with the way things were. He was being cautious, with good reason.
He took the phone from her and set it aside, taking hold of her hand and turning just enough to kiss her on the forehead.
"Maybe someday," he told her, not wanting to promise that it would be any time in the foreseeable future, and trying to put forth enough effort to leave it as a vague possibility. "When we're five hundred years old. Deal?"
He smiled at her, cheerfully, like that might patch things up. Somehow.
Rangiku dared to glance up at him while he was looking at the photo. Then lowered her eyes again, not wanting to think about it. THe big jerk asking her such a question! That was mean of him. “I’ve loved that since I was a kid, momma had a picture of her in one..” she sighed softly.
She looked at him as he took the phone and set it away. Fingers curled against his as she tilted her forehead into his kiss.
“Don’t,” she said softly. Her lips twitched into a tiny smile, though. “Alright, deal.” Although her eyes were sad, she knew better, even if she wanted desperately to believe it. She tried to give him a happier smile.
"Sorry," he whispered. "I thought it would've been funny to see ya cough on some poptart. I kinda wanted to know for sure what you really wanted, too."
And now he knew, and things weren't quite so funny anymore. He had a bad habit of teasing people and hitting spots he knew he shouldn't poke at but did anyway, making them feel bad. Some of his jokes and pranks were cruel, indeed.
But that deal? He meant it. If he made it that far, that is. Which was always a sketchy prospect, at best.
"Five hundred, then I'll marry you," he promised. "But you have to wear that kimono, when it happens. And we'll go wherever you want for a vacation, afterward. So you better think about that too and make sure it's someplace that isn't gonna explode or fall into the ocean."
She nuzzled him lightly. “Don’t worry about it, really, you didn’t know it’d get that kind of reaction out of me.” she pushed her hair out of her eyes so she could look at him. Her smile was half sad, half wistful, the kind that curled up only one corner of her lips.
Some of his pranks sucked but she just smiled anyways. She didn’t mind, too much. It was more sad than anything.
“You don’t need to make that promise to me, Gin. But alright, if we make it that far, I’ll wear that kimono and we’ll go somewhere without volcanos or islands.” She didn’t really believe it, and wasn’t putting stock into it, but she hoped anyways that it would happen.
Gin might be smart, but he didn't seem to exercise his right & wrong functions of his brain, or use some good judgment sometimes. His moral compass didn't point due north, that was for sure. If he had an alignment, it would have been chaotic neutral, since even his best intentions went flying right off a cliff, flailing, lit on fire.
"...what if I want to make that kinda promise," he asked, sounding only a little teasing about it. "I mean, maybe two hundred and fifty years would be better, or a hundred, since...." He stopped short of saying all of those yakuza would be dead by then. He doubted they would keep sending anyone after him, after that long. "...since it's a long time ta wait, for most people."
Consider it a very long un-engagement, that wasn't really that at all, but it kind of might be.
Definitely with an 'un-' in front of it.
“Then I can’t argue too much. If you want to, I’ll accept it since you don’t make those kind of promises often.” she tried for another real smile. “How long do we get, anyways?” she asked gently. “Would five hundred give us time to enjoy or wha?” she asked head canted to the side.
She brushed his hair from his forehead. A tender gesture with a tender gaze attached to it. “I love you. I love how you try to make me feel better when you notice you hit a sore spot.” she smiled at him, loving and gentle. It was rare she was in a kitten-like mood, often she was all feisty and sharp, but his question left her feeling melancholy and sweet.
"Ahh, well...the ol’ man head captain was really old, so...I guess if nothin' gets us here? We'll age pretty slowly. We'll have time. If nothin' gets us here," he said, looking thinky. It made him squint simply thinking about it. He shrugged a little, unsure, and opened his eyes again to look at her. "I think it'll be plenty of time to enjoy it."
His own gaze pretty much mirrored the sweet and melancholy, and made him look incredibly old, like he knew far too much.
"I love ya too," he said, followed by a smile which lightened his face and that stare, considerably. It was reserved only for her, since no way was sneaky and evasive him supposed to seem like he was all sappy out in public. That was probably why he finished with, "And I have to make you feel better, since I did a piss poor job of that when I dreamed about everything."
And yes, he said everything. Meaning from beginning to the end. So he was letting her know that he knew from the start to the finish, without any truth telling in the area messing with him.
“Well that’s good then,” she nodded lightly, “as long as we have time i’m good with it.” She smiled gently. “Older the better!” she laughed. “That just means I’ll be pretty for a long time, too.”
She laid her hand on his cheek, poptart forgotten on the bed, fingers brushing his cheekbone gently. “Oh Gin.” She leaned up to kiss him softly. She loved that smile that was just for her. It was beautiful and perfect. “I love you too.” Then her eyes opened a bit. Wait what.
“Oh… Gin.” she said softly, grasping the meaning of his words, her smile loving and soft. She took a deep breath and leaned up to give him a sweet, melancholy but still loving kiss, to show him he had a chance to make it up to her.
Poptart? What poptart? Gin was so wrapped up in returning that kiss, that he forgot entirely about it. Both arms circled around her to pull her closer so the kiss didn't have to end quite so quickly, and he even moved enough that they rolled right over the poptart and it went smuuuuuuuuuuuuush into the sheets.
She didn’t notice. She’d notice later. She snuggled close to him, smiling against the kiss. Glad to know he was still there for her and that she was there for him. And while she was saddened by the idea of his words, she knew he could make it up to her here. She kissed him softly before pulling back just far enough to see his eyes, fingers curling against his cheek.
Give them a few moments, before they start noticing the smell of strawberry and the sticky sets in. He had rolled them both over it, after all.
In the meantime, he was smiling back at her, enjoying the way her fingers did that against his face and looking into the eyes of the woman he loved. And that he really hoped he didn't mess up with, all over again. Even if mess ups? Kind of inevitable.
"You're so beautiful, Ran~chan. Even if you're all truthy telly right now, whining to be fed, and being your usual high maintenance self." He inhaled deeply, intending to exhale slowly but instead looking and sounding pleasantly surprised. "Ya smell like strawberries. I think I'm gonna nibble on you."
Rangiku enjoyed touching him. Feeling him under her fingers. And it could be in the most non-sexual way possible, too. Which made it even better. She looked up at him, blue eyes glittering, no trace of the anger now. Even if he messed up she’d be here. After all she now had a promise to hold him to.
She blushed at his words. “You’re lucky I know that means you love me, cause most people might deck ya for calling them high maintenance and whiney,” she laughed softly then lifted a brow to sniff. “Oh.. that’s… the poptart you.. rolled us through!” She started laughing.
"....eh?" he oh-so-intelligently inquired, before going perfectly still. Gin’s eyes were wide open and he blinked a couple of times, then looked like he wanted to facepalm. Or laugh. He wasn't sure which. It was a good opportunity to poke fun at her though. "You're so lazy, ya can't even hold onto the poptart you're eatin'. How'd it end up in bed?"
Now he was laughing at HER.
She tackled him off the edge of the bed. Laughing at her! What gives.?! “Noooooo we got all serious talking and we forgot about itttttt” That was half the fun of their relationship. Tumbling pouncing crushing goodness. “You are such a pain! Laughing at meeeeeeee,” she giggled.
That made him laugh even more, although he did make an omph noise when he hit the floor. That only paused it, since he laughed at her even more. Because the whiiiiiining and giggling. Yes.
"It was so serious, ya dropped your poptart," he accused, having to hold onto his stomach because laugh cramps. "We know it's bad if ya forget to chow down, huh?"
She ended up sprawled against him, laughing so hard her own ribs were hurting. She giggled at him as she rolled over to lay on her back staring at the ceiling. “YEP it’s serious if I can’t keep my mind on food!” she flumped and giggled and held her ribs. “oh lordy, Gin.” she rolled again to hug him, wrapping her frame around his. “I love you.”
He drew in a deep breath before saying, "Love ya too."
Gin was smiling and he waited until she wasn't laughing quite so much, before he confessed, "I feel bad now for makin' you lie ta everyone. Lookit me? I ain't even got truth stuff goin' on and I'm telling you things like that, anyway. I'd rather see you laughing than crying."
She smiled at him once she could breathe again. Then she smiled at him, “Don’t feel bad. It’s okay.” She kissed him softly. “I’d rather be laughing than crying too ya know,” she nudged him. “Im happy you’re saying this stuff to me.” She smiled sweetly at him.
"Are ya? I thought some of it was making you sad," he said, the smile turning into a huge grin for a moment when she had nudged at him. "I guess...I might've been thinkin' some stuff over, even if I can't do anything about a lot of it. Maybe I can make a few things better. If you wanna tell 'em that I remember, I guess ya can. I'll deal with the fallout. You shouldn't haveta."
It would keep his life interesting earlier than he had anticipated and he wasn't sure if that was the best option. Oh well. He didn’t have to admit details, anyway.
“I am,” she said honestly, er obviously. “It does make me sad, but it’s okay, I understand it and I don’t want to tell them, not just because it makes me happier to not lie to them. I don’t want to do that to you.” She canted her head at him. “I love you but you don’t need to do this for me.”
"...ehhhhhhh? Now who's bein' over-protective of who," he asked, raising his eyebrows at her and half-expecting her to be all ‘don’t you ehhh me’ in response. He even mirrored her by canting his head the same way she was, giving him a profoundly confused look. "Least I can do is make it up to ya now in lil' ways."
“Don’t you eehhhhh me.” She glowered at him, blue eyes glittering again. “You take care of me. You help me out. You make my life better. You do a lot without knowing it. You don’t need to let me tell them to make me feel better - it’s yer life yer protecting, I get it,” she said softly.
"Ehhh," he sighed out, much more quietly. "Rangiku, you brought it up that you were havin' ta lie to Yumichika the other day. I should probably tell 'em then, if you're not gonna. It's makin' things harder on you. You gotta tell me the truth too. The power of the O.C. compels you."
He pointed one of his pale fingers up at her, at the tip of her nose, which just might cause her to go cross eyed with that glower, if he kept doing that.
"Tell me it isn't true. That it hasn't made things harder on you." He smiled a little bit, and it wasn't to cover up anything. It was more of a knowing smile, than anything. "I bet ya can't do it, since it's had you gettin' mad at Abarai-kun, and your narcissist, and I bet Toshiro-chan's already mentioned it too. So go on. Tell me I ain't right."
She poked him for the eh. Devious bastard. “I was. And I have lied to them. I’ve lied to Yumichika and Renji and Toshiro, I’ve sidestepped and omitted. And tried to keep my mouth shut. Don’t tell them for my sake,” she snapped at him. “You got your reasons, don’t you?” She didn’t like the idea of him telling them. She was worried for him.
“I got mad because they were talking bad about you and I don’t care what they say, you’re nothing but good to me, secrets, sneaking out and all. But…” She lifted her eyes to his. “In the end it’s YOUR decision to tell them or not.” But I’m going to be in the middle no matter what… she thought as she looked at him. “No fair using the OC’s fun against me.”
The poke got a small 'eh' out of him and he went squinty but thoughtful as he listened to her. It was much the same expression he had on his face when she showed up in the real Karakura Town, to confront him, stepping in front of Aizen to save that weird kook and the creepy kid's friends.
He opened his eyes when he made a counterpoint. One which even she was going to have to realize backed her into a small corner, this time.
"Rangiku, you don't know all of the story yet," he said, softly and slowly, like he was approaching someone or something that might get spooked if he made any sudden moves. "If they were talkin' bad about me, then maybe it's for a reason. That's something I haven't told you yet, since I want you to figure it out for yourself. I might be good to you now, but maybe you should be askin' yourself why I am. Since maybe I wasn't, back then. And maybe I don't play fair."
Rangiku stared at him. Probably best way to handle her and this was with kid gloves and that careful stance you get around skittish cats. She pursed her lips tightly, a thin line forming as she looked at him. Then she looked down for a moment then back up.
Her voice was hard, “No. I don’t. But I don’t need to to know that there’s always more than just the one side to every story. Just because they see it one way doesn’t mean that’s how it is.” She knew she was backed into a corner, but she fought anyways. “Then you are redeeming yourself, if you were truly that awful to me, in the here and now.”
"And just 'cause someone's being nice to you, doesn't always mean they have good intentions," he pointed out, still using the same tone of voice. He knew that was the best way to get things through to her, even if he had to tiptoe - or slither around - her in the process. "You're gonna remember me doin' something that was really bad. So if ya get mad at me for it, then all I'm gonna say is what you just told me. Just because they see it one way doesn't mean that's how it is. Don't forget that."
He whispered and smiled at her. "You're gettin' stubborn since ya don't understand yet. I am tryin' to be better to you here...but maybe havin' you lie isn't one of my better ideas."
And so that can be tacked onto his list of failed plans and concepts. For someone so smart, it is a pretty significant list of foibles. No wonder he found himself neck deep in the thick of everything, in both lives.
“Of course not but I don’t think you’d mean bad intentions towards me.” She shrugged a bit. “I may get hurt in the process, but that’s part of life, I don’t see you hurting me because you wanted to.” She looked at him. “Oh I’m sure I’ll get mad but remind me there’s another side to the story. Because there always is. And I can’t get mad until I know that.” She smiled at him. A quiet smile, thoughtful.
“I am. But then again, I’m naturally stubborn. S’one of the many reasons you love me.” she grinned at him. “And you’re doing wonderfully.” she paused. “No maybe not but they aren’t my secrets to tell, either.”
"...I'll give ya the other side to it, when the dust settles and I think you're done havin' 'em," he told her. "But I haveta point out, it wasn't with the best of intentions that I asked ya to lie. You said I was selfish before, right? It was a lil' bit of that and a whole lot of wanting you, which is also kinda selfish too. And I already hurt you. Because your vain friend got angry at ya, your captain probably thinks you've gone flailin' over the deep end, and you had to rough up Abarai-kun."
He hated having to make those points, but maybe Orange County was rubbing off on him. And he had that conversation with Canaan to make him think, upsetting Rangiku before this, he did work for a cop which could have 839283 yakuza on him if they found out, and there was a traitor's uniform in a duct taped box out in the garage that he still had to burn.
Life was so much simpler when it was Revenge Plan version 2.0 and stabbing rival bad guys.
"Fair enough," she said softly. "Its... powerful to know you want me that much, though. And though you were acting selfishly so am I, Gin. I want this. I love this. And I'll do anything to keep it. So I understand. Yumi worries but he'll be okay. Captain knows that I've made a choice and he says it's the same as it was in dreams so he won't hold it against me. And Renji is just easy to get into it with. "
"As long as the dust settles and you tell me like you said we'll be fine. I love you. And selfish me wants to keep you. " Her eyes looked up through her lashes at him. She really loved him with everything.
Gin knew that when she dreamed that he never gave her any reason or explanation for any of it, Rangiku was going to be beyond angry. He was going to be dodging thrown things and waiting until she cooled down, to explain any of it. And it wasn't like any of this was going to stop him being sneaky or having secrets. She was probably going to get angry about that also.
Even so, he loved her with everything in return. Enough that he stopped looking so thoughtful and smiled at her instead. Of the genuine, unsneaky variety.
"Ya know I love you too. And if someone asks me, maybe I'll hint that I know. We both know I like games, so why not?" He shrugged, thinking it might be interesting. It's not like he ever did things in obvious or ways...or in sensible ways, for that matter. "We can see who figures it out, first. Then I have my fun and you're let off the hook."
Rangiku was going to go typhoon Rangiku on his ass when she had those dreams. There were probably going be things thrown at him. Painfully so.
Her favorite kind of smile.
"Mmm there's my Gin. Games are more your thing, love. Although my darling narcissist already thinks you're lying anyways. So we shall see?"
"Maybe he'll win first. Or I might go razz Toshiro-chan again. Which~ever," he happily sing-songed, his voice light and airy, like he didn't have a care in the world. Which was a lie, because the stupid world had dumped a whole load of things to care about onto him. Lucky for him, he was good at micromanaging and multitasking. All done without looking like he was expending a shred of effort.
Before any more little truths slipped out, Gin lured her into a kiss.
That would shut them both up.