Abarai Renji is tenacious. (renji) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-10-24 00:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !trigger warning, rangiku matsumoto, renji abarai |
Who: Rangiku Matsumoto, Renji Abarai
What: Arguments and hold ups at the Teriyaki BurgerTown. There’s two people who are going to end up as employee of the month, even if they’re the worst employees ever!
When: Uhh...before these texts.
Rating: Medium/High. V for Violence, L for Language, A for AssWhuppin’s.
Status: Complete!
Working at a burger place was easy peasy work. Sure, people were dicks sometimes, and Renji often wondered why he stuck around, as much as he wondered why the manager didn't fire him sometimes.
And that was because the manager still had the hots for him, enough that she put up with his big mouth, and hired his friend on as the front counter girl. It was a pain in the ass finding an employee shirt that even fit that girl's chest, but somehow? She managed. By stretching it out a lot before giving it to her.
It wasn't ten minutes into his shift with Rangiku there, when they hit a lull with the customers coming in, enough that Renji could flip her some shit about her and the drive thru fiasco.
"How'd your hot date go with the big spender?" Renji quipped, trying not to think of last night's dream where he faced off against Byakuya and got his ass handed back to him on a silver platter. To say that Renji was in a mood was an understatement, but he was mostly keeping it to himself. Mostly. "Why the hell would he be bringing you through a drive thru? Heh! I hope you didn't put out."
Again? Renji Abarai. He’s the gift that keeps on giving. Loudly.
Proof of that was the fact that a few heads turned in the dining area of the restaurant. And about three heads peeked out of the kitchen to stare at Tetas Grandes. For that is the name the cooks were calling her.
"Bite me asshole," she snapped back at him. "I picked drive thru food because I didn't feel like sitting down somewhere." She rolled her eyes at him and when the managers back was turned hucked a fry at him.
"Ain't your business if I did or didn't either way," she huffed at him and she looked at the cooks with a glare. Whoever let these two be on the same shift was on crack. Because they both had tempers. "What are your dumb asses staring at?" she snarled. "Call me that nickname you've decided on again and I’ll beat you with your own foot."
She looked back at Renji.
Renji batted the fry aside with one hand, so it deflected and went flying out the drive thru window that had been left open. They're keeping it classy. One of the cooks snickered and started to say that Tetas Grandes was angry but they were cut short before Rangiku could even murder them with their own feet.
"Hey. HEY," Renji hollered, to get their attention, before the three cooks got nosebleeds. "Juan, Pedro...uhh...Jeezus guy! Stop staring at her tits, you douchebags! Go cook something then stick it under a light bulb so it stays warm enough not to give someone the shits."
That was not any of their names. It was actually Miguel, Crisanto, and Gerardo...but those names are too complicated for Renji's brain to remember.
The manager was facepalming. She simply threw up her hands like she hadn't any more fucks left to give about this place and went to her back office, slamming the door.
"Anyway," Renji said, like the manager doing that was an everyday occurrence, "it's my business because you two assholes came through here, pretending you couldn't read...which I call BULLSHIT on, because Captaaaauuuhhh...’cause Ichimaru can read, probably BETTER IF HE DIDN'T SQUINT SO DAMN MUCH! And you threw things at me, so me asking about it is PAYBACK!"
Renji grinned so that his back molars showed. Ha ha! Take that!
The three cooks looked from him over to Rangiku, like this was a demented tennis match. Only with boobs.
“Welllllll no he pretended not to read. I just sat there laughing,” she said innocently. “What was that? Captauh?” she arched a brow at him. Yeah she totally believed his cover up. Not. She grabbed a fry box and hucked it at the cooks.
“I SAID STOP STARING.” Well no she hadn't, but that never stopped her from getting mad at people. She snarled before turning back on Renji. “And what do YOU care about my relationship with him anyways?” Volcano Rangiku for the win, she was bubbling as she stared at him.
She grabbed her soda, violently, and drank from it. She needed sake. Not soda. But she was putting A TINY effort into keeping a job, even while he fixed her family. She wanted ot prove she just wasn’t a pair of tits. Mostly.
The cooks scattered in different directions and made themselves look busier than they actually were. One of them even started chopping thin air on a cutting board, to feign working. She had kind of told them to stop but it was with a threat and they need at least one or two more clear statements before it set in. Leave it to Renji....
"STOP STARING AT HER FROM NOW ON, DAMMIT! Anyway. I had something stuck in my throat so that captauh thing was a cough," Renji snarked back at Rangiku, about his cover up. No way did he want to sound weirder after already making Ichigo and Rukia stare at him like he was insane, even if Ichigo took it better than Rukia did. "It's plenty my business, because...uhh...gimme a second here...."
Because he knew that Ichimaru had been around for a while and that guy had to have the upper hand advantage, with information. What if he was using Rangiku somehow? No one trusted that guy in his dreams, because he was creepy and smiled too much and was always walking around, looking for victims to prank. Sort of like that time he tied up Zaraki when he was asleep and that guy put a hole in the wall of squad 11’s barracks like a raging bull. Or that time when he put plastic wrap he stole from the SRDI around the men's urinals. Or the other time when he dipped Isane Kotetsu's hand in a bowl of water while she was sleeping so her scream when she finally woke up was loud enough to wake anyone and everyone between squad 4 and squad 7's barracks. Dammit, no one could trust that guy! And there was Rangiku, getting cozy with him. Something wasn't right there, but he wasn't sure what it was, quite yet.
He was also developing an eye twitch, which was most likely from thinking too hard and too much. His brain was unaccustomed to that much strenuous mental activity.
"...uhhh...because he's a fuckin’ jerk," he summarized, since that seemed like the best way to put it. Followed by him taking a piece of grilled pineapple and throwing it like it was a frisbee at her head while she was violent!drinking. Take that! He even looked triumphant.
The pineapple splatted against her head and she just watched it hit the floor. She took a deep breath. Then walked calmly over to him and slapped him upside the head. “He’s not a jerk. He’s been nothing but nice to me.” she said in a whispered hiss. Then turned her head to see a customer walk up.
“What do you want?” she snapped as she stalked back to the register, punched in his order like it was the last thing in the world. She took the man’s money and waited for the assholes in the kitchen to do their job.
The poor customer looked confused but ran with his food. People must be crazy to come in here. At least when these two were on staff. “If you have a problem with him, take it up with him, NOT me. I haven’t seen him do a damn thing other than fuck with you in the drive thru, WHICH let me add is so hard to resist doing while I’m EVEN HERE, that you can’t be surprised by it.”
Renji had stood there after that slap to the head, fuming the whole time, and even HE glared at the dude who dared to interrupt the bickering, enough to contribute in that guy running off asap.
"FINE! Maybe I will take it up with him. I mean, c'mon? You don't find him suspicious and a lil' creepy at all? PFFFT. You're so dick whipped," Renji said, throwing up both hands and rolling his eyes. It was the perfect picture of loudmouthed sarcasm. "Whatever, Rangiku."
Someone came up to the drive thru menu and when they were asking for help, Renji hit the button and shouted "WHADDYA WANT?!" into the mic, then stomped over to his register to punch the buttons like he was trying to put his fingers through the damn thing. When he was done, he started to bing ketchup packets off of Rangiku's back.
The cooks exchanged looks among themselves, before scrambling to fix their food. It looked like a fistfight was about to happen, and they hadn't yet seen anything of Big Boobs yet, but her temper seemed pretty legendary, already.
Rangiku stopped moving. Even her breathing stopped for a moment.
“EXCUSE ME?” she whipped around to face him again. “DICK WHIPPED?!” she snarled in anger as she was hit with the ketchup packets. In fact she was getting angrier by the second. She stalked over to him, and slammed him into the wall. “You don’t ever talk to me like that again, Renji. I swear to god. I am not some whipped whore, who wants nothing but that. He doesn’t control me.”
While holding him against the wall she punched the drive thru window open, it slammed into the frame and creaked. She reached out and took the guy’s money, threw it in the drawer and tossed him his food. Multitasking at it’s finest. If only because she wanted to rip Renji a new one.
“He’s not suspicious to me. He’s not. Just ISNT. He’s the same as from my dreams,” she snarled again, her face close to his.
Renji landed against the wall with a OOMPH sound, and made faces at Rangiku as he listened, but he wasn't intimidated in the least. Truth was, from his dreams, he liked Rangiku a lot. Not like a romantic like or anything, but they got along ok during vice-captain's meetings and he got tanked with her maybe twice before, and it was pretty fun. Well, except for the fact he couldn't pay the tab and she got miffed, but that was because he had just spent all of his money on new reishi goggles. Which Rangiku ripped off his head and threw out a open window, so that Iba stepped on them and...there went almost a year's pay. Now he was mad again about something that didn't even happen in the here and now and he had to tell himself to cool his jets, before they went blasting off into the cosmos.
"Sounds like SOMEONE'S a little DEFENSIVE," Renji pointed out with a smug tone of voice, since really, it was some nagging worry he couldn't place, that was compelling him as much as his temper was. "Or maybe they're trying to convince herself of that same thing, huh? Anyway, those dreams are stupid, so I'm just calling it like I see it, right here and now."
So much for keeping that temper in check, since he went pointing that out, without thinking. He even reached over and snapped the drive-thru window shut, so it rattled in the frame. He pursed his lips and glared at her like it was her turn.
The cooks were silent. The patrons were quiet. It was like a tumbleweed might go blowing by in the background, accompanied by one lone, lonely whistle soundbyte, to accentuate the stand off in progress.
She stopped moving and stared at him. Then slapped him as hard as possible.
"They are real," she said softly. Her voice dangerously quiet. Slender fingers wrapped around his neck as she put her forehead to his. "I hate you right now. Just so you know, Renji. Don’t ever. Talk. To. Me like that AGAIN. " She stared at him before she let him go. "You can suspect him all you want. But don't tell me what I feel is wrong. These dreams? Its memory not fake."
"If it hits a ten on the bullshit meter, I'm gonna say something about it," Renji sourly told her, with a big red handprint on the side of his face, that pretty much matched his hair. "I don't know what the fuck those stupid ass dreams are or how they're happening, but that's crazy talk anyway. Just...shit, hold on."
He turned his head to one side and said loudly into the mic, "YO. I COULDN'T GIVE A FLYING YOU-KNOW-WHAT! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A FREAKIN' DISCUSSION HERE, SO STUFF IT, YA JACK WAD."
That done, Renji turned his head and frowned at Rangiku, plopping one hand against her forehead as he said, "Back off. My beef's not so much with you as it is with him anyway. I can't believe you actually think those are memories. Did he have 'em too? Is that why you believe it so much?"
He stared at her like 'duuuuuuuuuuh' and waited for an answer. He expected her to say YES because everyone else was oh so convinced this crap was true, and no one seemed to be questioning it. This is because you are slow and stubborn, Renji. Duh.
The door to the manager’s office flew open and the tiny little manager lady pointed a finger at them both, yelling in a voice that seemed to shake the very walls around them, “IF YOU TWO DON’T KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF RIGHT NOW, I WILL FIRE YOU BOTH! EVERYONE ELSE, STOP PICKING ON THE NEW GIRL OR I WILL LET HER KICK YOUR ASSES BEFORE I FIRE YOU! NOW GO TO YOUR STATIONS AND SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I KILL MYSELF USING THE DEEP FRIER, I SWEAR TO GAAAAAAAAAAWD!”
Renji’s face essentially went o_O and seemed stuck that way, before he said, “Fine, whatever. Going back to work now.”
Rangiku stopped as the tiny manager came out. She stared at Renji, her mouth sealed shut in a very tight pursed lip moment. But her eyes were watery with tears of both anger and hurt. She very much liked the big lug but he’d offended her. Not only by verbally attacking Gin but the fact making fun of her for believing in those dreams? She knew better. They weren’t just some passing fad. She’d had the same exact one multiple times now. It wasn’t going away. It wasn’t changing. And her connection to Gin? Too strong to ignore.
But she didn’t answer him, she promised Gin she’d not tell anyone. “It doesn’t matter, Renji.” she said very quietly as the world settled back around them. She turned and stalked back to her counter, glowering at the next customer in line, and shuffling through her shift in a sense of livid anger and hurt. She wanted to just slap the shit out of him some more but not now.
Every now and then she’d look back at him, with a look on her face that was one part sadness and one part tiredness. Like she didn’t know quite how to handle him yet. Oh girl, the verbal attacks on Gin have not even begun yet.
For his part, all it took was a yelling at and the hurt look on Rangiku's face to make Renji feel bad after the fact. He knew he shot his mouth off a lot of the time, without thinking. She didn’t have to worry about how to handle him since he was a stubborn ass, but Renji was also easily guilt tripped and the hurt looks made him feel like like a real douchebag. So as soon as he was done helping a few customers, and it looked like the dust was settling, he walked over and gave her a light thwap on the shoulder.
"I'm sorry I was talking shit at you," he mumbled. He didn't really want to apologize for the stuff he said about Gin, since he did suspect that guy was up to no good, somehow. He was letting it slide. There was another, much lighter thwap, that was more like a pat. "And that dream stuff irritates the hell outta me. That’s all. It’ll be ok. Let’s go back to giving the customers a load of...."
A customer came up to the counter.
“...hey, I’m trying to apologize here. Back off for a sec,” Renji told them, in his best DUH voice, because CAN YOU NOT SEE WHAT HE IS DOING?
Rangiku flinched at the first thwap, restraining herself from smacking him harder again. But she didn’t. Go Rangiku. Control that temper. Hands self a gold star!. Rangiku was good at guilt trips. She had a really expressive face and eyes, that totally helped in cases where she was actually offended.
“Thank you, Renji,” she said softly at his half-mumbled apology. “Please choose your words a smidge more carefully next time.” Or she’ll hurt him worse, she left off. “If it bothers you, maybe you should look inside and see why it does so, so much.” She refrained from saying, I think the man doth protest too much to not believe. Gold star number two.
Then she smiled as he gave the customer what-for.
When the customer opened his mouth to protest, Renji held up one hand like he was a crosswalk guard and there is no crossing the street right now. He didn't even turn to look at the guy, because he was focused on Rangiku instead.
"Yeah, I'll probably go shooting my mouth off some more. It happens." He got an eyetwitch when she gave him the advice about the dreams, immediately telling her, "Uh huh, well if you think about it, it doesn't make any kinda sense. It's too damn weird. There's gotta be some sort of explanation for it, that isn't some mystical, magical crap."
She side eyed the customer. Idiot. Can’t someone tell when things are happening? GAWD. She gestured lazily at the other counter girl.
“HANDLE IT,” she snapped, before looking back to Renji.
“Good to know. I’ll keep french fries and ketchup packets handy,” sweetly said as if the world was all perfect. “Who said life made sense?” she giggled at him then smiled softly, “Whatever, Renji. I don’t care if you believe them or not. I do. And that’s my business.” She tilted her head at him.
They were having a NICE moment. Damn it. Of course their luck ran high and it had to get ruined by the fact the customer grabbed Rangiku by the hair yelling something about this being a robbery.
She blinked ever so slowly. “Are you fucking KIDDING ME?”
At least he didn’t cop a feel, no. He was met with a backhand anyways, her knuckles landed square in the forehead. She did wince as he pulled her hair as he stumbled backwards.
They had been having a nice moment. Until that happened. Totally wrong place to pull that, and even Renji was thinking that guy picked the wrong target.
"...are you fucking kidding me," Renji echoed in disbelief and then shook his head when that guy was backhanded. He rolled his eyes. "AGAIN. What is this, hold up central? Get over here, dumbass."
The man held up a gun after he righted himself, not letting go of Rangiku's hair. Some old lady fainted in the background, the cooks were staring like 'O NO, NOT TETAS GRANDES!!!!', and Renji didn't seem too phased. It wasn't the first time he had seen one of those, nor was he wary of bullets like he should have been his entire stupid damn life. Instead, he popped his knuckles and had a dangerous grin on his face, which made him look like a red-haired, tattooed maniac.
"I'm giving you two seconds to...hell with it, time's up," Renji said, moving in to grab the gun with one hand to point it up toward the ceiling, where one bullet went flying harmlessly upward. With his other hand, he hauled off and punched the guy in the side of the head. While the bad guy was seeing stars, Renji told Rangiku, "Looks like it's your turn. Your hair’s long enough. I think you can reach his face. To break it.”
Rangiku just laughed, this was fucking ridiculous. Seriously? Today? Right NOW? What the hell. Rangiku wasn’t a sweet heart. Okay, she was to Gin and those she cared about, but when someone had their hand in her hair and was attempting to put a gun to her head, she was not a nice person.
In fact she was happily the queen bitch from hell. His hand was still wrapped in her hair, as she curled in towards her hair and elbowed him in the nose, following it up with another elbow as she spun back to face him, eyes dark. “Are you fucking shitting me today? All I want to do is get my job done and YOU FUCKING PULL THIS BULLSHIT?”
She grabbed the hand in her hair and unwrapped her hair from it. “Don’t touch the hair asshole.” Yumi was going to have a heart attack. She squeezed his fingers until they were creaking under her fingers. “Renji?” she asked sweetly, which was a rather dangerous tone of voice. “Shall I break them and drop him or you want in?” she asked.
"Do what you gotta do. I've still got the gun hand," Renji said, as the guy squeezed off another shot which also went into the ceiling. He even yawned, holding him steady while Rangiku opened up some whoop ass on him. "Guy's got a death grip. I'll drop kick his ass when you're through."
"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!" the robber screamed, past loose teeth and a flattened, bloody nose. One more shot and Renji shoulder tapped him with his free hand. When the guy turned his head, BAM went Renji's now balled up fist into one of the man's eyes. It had him seeing a shock of purple and he let go of the gun, so that Renji could grab it.
"And now you can kick his ass," Renji told her, throwing the gun aside and still holding the guy up by one arm, like he was the world's sorriest punching bag. "Don't kick me while you're doing it though. That’d suck."
"AHHH!" screamed the bloody faced robber. Serves him right. Renji was staring off at a wall, like he was considering such astounding things like if he had to wash his clothes that night, or when was the last time he filled the crapmobile up with gas. This was like old hat mundane crap to him.
Meanwhile, the manager lady had been out of her office and filming it on her smartphone. because hells yes. They aren't losing more money at one time, faster than the crappy employees could do over a longer period of time by alienating the customers!
“Your worst nightmare,” she said lightly as she wound up and literally placed her foot into the side of his ass, missing Renji of course and following up with a knee to the ribs. She stood over him as he swung in Renji’s hand.
“Really, worst place to rob.” She was aching. She didn’t get to go all out on people anymore. People just stopped fucking with her after the first punch usually. This was kind of fun and she was glowing with a wide grin. She tapped him lazily with her foot a few times.
“I hope she’s called the cops by now. I mean I can keep kicking him until next week but I actually need to ice my stupid fist. Fucking asshole made me bruise my knuckles and break a nail.” He got a sharp knee for that one. “Jerk.”
The robber looked like he wanted to cry, but if he did that, it would get into the cut parts of his face and sting a lot. He didn't have too much time to ponder the sorry state of affairs because there sirens which could be heard in the distance, closing in. And, naturally, Renji pretty much dropped the guy. When he tried to get to his feet and run, Renji gave him a kick that sent the guy flying toward the door. It swung both ways, so when he made contact and went splat on it, his bloody face squeegeed down the glass leaving a big red smear, and it opened enough that he could fall out it halfway and bleed on the sidewalk.
"Yeah, I think I popped one of my knuckles too hard. I better ice mine too," he said, sitting on the counter and waiting for the cops to ask twenty million questions. Before they came in though, Renji glared at some kid who was going for the gun and told him, "You pick that up, I'm gonna make you regret you were ever born."
The kid hesitated. It helped that the kid's mom totally looked about ready to grab him by the ear and haul him off. She did warn him that he wasn't going to be playing any Grand Theft Auto ever again.
"You ok?" asked Renji, looking over at Rangiku. "He didn't scalp you or anything, I hope."
She went and fetched them two cleaning cloths (dry) and split a scoop of ice between them. Tied them into a bundle annnnnnd handed one to Renji as she sat on the counter next to him. “Hey. HEY can I get a burger guys? I’m freaking starving now.” she said as she tucked a leg under her to sit with him.
She glowered at the kid.
“Do it and regret it, kid,” she stated calmly as she iced her knuckles and wondered if she could talk Gin into massaging ointment into her sore muscles. She hadn’t let loose in eons and she was already feeling it. “I’ll be fine. But my head aches, stupid asshole.”
The kid really was hauled off by his mom, who got up and grabbed his damn ear.Also? Gin might be coerced into that. Bwahaha.
The cooks? They were going to do whatever the hell Rangiku said from now on, for they will live in fear of her (while oogling her boobies).
And Renji? Just sat there like a lump with ice on his knuckles, twitching his head in the direction of the gun when the cops entered, and letting the manager take over since she had filmed everything. This was, apparently enough, something that had happened before.
"I need a burger too. Better make it three. I need three burgers, extra pineapple and extra that sauce stuff on it," he said, loudly, then grinned like idiot. "He was a stupid asshole. That's what makes working here pretty fun sometimes."
Not the best neighborhood? So what. It was adventurous.
“Oy, you have some serious fun. God I can’t wait to go home and take a hot bath,” she sighed softly and leaned back on her good hand. And then ever so quietly answered the billion questions the cops asked before she leaned back and yawned.
“Can I go home now?” she asked the manager before sighing a bit and stretching. “I want a hot shower. I want to sleep for a week.” she said softly, brushing hair out of her eyes.
"Honestly?" the manager said like they only had a couple of hours left on their shifts, but then she shrugged. They had done all the work. "I'll cover and there's another girl at the counter that...." The girl had started to open her mouth and the manager pointed at her, "...that sat there chewing on bubblegum the whole time, so you can stay and work. You two go home."
"Yay, off work early," Renji said, sounding oh so enthused, as he slid his rear off the front counter. He started to wander off to go get his jacket and the keys to the crapmobile. "A shower does sound good. I'm outta here. I’d offer you a ride, Rangiku, but you’re probably gonna have tall-pale-and-squinty pick you up."
He waved a hand to let her know he would catch her later.