Below are the most recent 3 friends' journal entries.

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
barbayat	11:03a	Nostalgic moment I rather have nightmares than dreams like tonight. I dreamt about the time when I was on tour with my parents and I woke up in the dream being in our camping van. I soon realised they had not left a key - meaning I could not leave it. That might sound a bit nightmare like - but when I woke up for real, all I could think about was not how much I hated this time - but how much their work then meant to my parents. Them traveling through Germany with their model train show was something that lasted since I was in kindergarden and only stopped in 2003, when every asshole in the country had a cheaply slapped together stationary model train show. I might have hated traveling with them or how much time they invested in their work - but those were awesome model train landscapes. Now nearly everything is dismantled and sold off cheaply in parts. I really hope my mom is honest about it does not bother her to destroy all them but I feel it must be awful for both of them. And while I would never wish to going back being cramped up with them in a small camping trailer again, I guess in away I miss those times a bit. Or maybe I just miss being young and hopeful. Wow just listening to Cher's Believe you know "Do you believe in life after love?" and I wonder "Do I believe anymore in life with love?" Being single is great 90% of the time, I rather be alone than being tied to some stupid asshole. And yet, there is always the feeling how nice it would be to have someone around to support you emotionally, that you can do stuff with - but do not have to. That is sort of the problem. I do not think I could bear a relationship where the guy comes home every night. Diether Nuhr certainly is right being with someone who is on tour helps the relationship. I need time for myself but it would also be great to have someone to take care for and have to look after. But I mean and adult someone who enjoys being spoiled a bit from time to time and also likes spoiling me in return. Someone who is his or her own person and sexually compatible with me. Sometimes, even though I am just 30, I feel like this bitter old harpie and then again, I feel like still being 18. 18 because I am legally unrestricted otherwise I might say 16 or 17. Although I must say, I never really was a typical teenager. If my parents were not so bad a being parents - they would not have had any problems with me. I did not drink, it never occured to me to try other drugs, I always called when I was late knowing they worry, I never had parties at our house when they were gone and I liked going to school. I guess all of that still applies mor or less, I despise alcohol, the only drug I am on is caffeine (bad diet pepsi/pepsi max addiction), I still call to let them know I am okay, if I have a party it is without alcohol and they like my friends for being so quiet and I would not want to become a teacher if I hated the idea of going to school. Although I wonder how I will get along with teens today - I could not relate to teens when I was one, so I guess I have to hope for the best. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Bon Jovi - I'd Die for You (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 28th, 2009
barbayat	6:01p	Vampire Diaries: Crap Wow, my dream began with substituting Bella Swann for Elena (well tv Elena is a total dumb bitch from what I heard so I do not feel bad about that). She tried to find out about some mysterious guy who sort of re-incarnated through the centuries and always gets killed off by the bad guys. She was standing at the lake and just reveiling to Damon (who looked like the tv version) and a pathetic behaving pod!Stephan that she just found a way to find out more about his latest death were he dies in the lake. Stephan said nobody knew when exactly he died. She was sure she would find out - and in a way that would boos the ratings - because it had to do with sex. Poor girl, jumping naked in a freezing lake has nothing to do with sex. I must thank my dream!Damon for pointing that out. Being a total Mary Sue, she found the skeleton in the like right away. AFter that I can not remember much of the plot line. At one point, Bellena got mixed in with Bonnie it seems (although I do not know if Bonnie in the tv show also gets prophetic dreams) and it showed her sitting at the shore of a lake and then Klaus (bad vampire form the fourth book) childed her for trying to dream for information and dragged into the lake. Then she ended up in a medieval seeming world and suddenly she was back in highschool. That was so horrific. There she met her equally braindead bitch girl friends who were as stereotypical hollow, stupid and whatnot and naturally everyone of them was played by an adult actress. *shudders* At least some comfort was a scene at the lake with Damon and a bunny (no not a real bunny, but that is what the dream labled those exchangable girls he met with). He tried to do this sharp finger nail cuts throat thing and she backed up, with just a scratch and said something like: But now know why I am falling in love with you or something. If at all my dream made me more fond of the new Damon, as he killed her nonetheless and drank her dry. Okay, the bed part was when he came back to the school, Elena found out in th news about the body, she cried and he looked rather guild stricken. Who wants to see that? I'd rathr see what happened to the stuff he found in the lake which looked like parts of a ship. I guess what my subconcious was trying to tell me, that I might even care to watch Vampire Diaries if it was not for those awfully written empty headed bitched (like the hysteric cow who slapped him and lived, hello? Not a show I care much about ... first of all the behaviour sucks and secondly a good show with a character that dumb would have killed her off - because they knew their audience would be incapable of accepting such silly behaviour otherwise) and the danger of spikification (you know turning a cool villain like Spike into a wuss) formerly known as pussification. Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
barbayat	4:18a	Nocturnal activities Yep, my sleep rhythm is totally fucked over. All thanks to that stupid bed. In a good bed I can sleep when I am just a little bit exhausted. In this one only when I am really tired. The problem is, I can not seem to concentrate on my uni stuff. It is 4.20 am and I am just thinking about what and if I should eat. I guess I try to finish some fanstuff and see if I can find a bit of peace of mind to work on my important stuff. It is not that much for the weekend - but I would feel better if I got this assignment done. Also funny - my laptop crashed and totally threw me off. But at least it always comes back alright after shutting it off. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)