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[Dec. 10th, 2009|12:17 am] |
HOLY SHIT
I JUST WON A FREAKIN' JAMES BEARD AWARD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT
AND IT'S UNDER MY FREAKIN' NAME BECAUSE I MADE THE REPLACEMENT ME HIRE REAL ME
WHAT |
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[Dec. 9th, 2009|11:24 am] |
Hey! You! Kids that keep dropping into my family out of the damn sky!
Stop doing that, it's getting hard to keep track of everyone!
Oh, and what does everyone want in their stockings? |
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[Nov. 20th, 2009|10:55 am] |
I GET A WHOLE WEEK OFF NEXT WEEK~
9 day vacation in the Bahamas here I COME! |
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[Nov. 10th, 2009|10:06 am] |
So it's coming up on Thanksgiving, and it's tradition for me to take in the folk with nowhere else to go.
So starting Thanksgiving day, 'round about noon and running on through Sunday or whenever the leftovers run out, whichever takes longer, anyone and everyone is welcome by [Key West address]
I'll be making a ham and a turkey and pies, same as always, if you want to bring a course or a side dish feel free, if you want to bring supplies, feel free, if you want to bring booze, feel free, but don't feel obligated to bring anything, somehow there's always enough to go around.
You're also welcome to bring friends, family, pets or just strangers off the street I'll welcome just about everybody. |
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[Nov. 10th, 2009|01:02 am] |
My boyfriend has first name, it's S-E-X-Y. My boyfriend has a second name but nothing rhymes with sexy!
(I went Yule shopping, it put me in a good mood.) |
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[Oct. 29th, 2009|11:01 pm] |
I think I'll go as Bjork for Halloween. I found a great recreation of her swan dress... |
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[Oct. 28th, 2009|11:49 pm] |
Dear rice pudding I just made:
ily, let's go get married or shack up.
love, Brend
brb, going to go roll around in sticky amazingness |
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[Oct. 25th, 2009|03:51 am] |
This is going to be the best Halloween ever, I can tell. Seriously, very very happy. |
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[Oct. 20th, 2009|09:56 pm] |
I just hope everyone's okay. I feel useless.
Cass? Can we talk and cuddle when you've got a minute? |
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[Oct. 8th, 2009|06:40 pm] |
I can't sleep. I've done everything I know to help - warm milk, melatonin, Valerian root, all of that stuff. Everything short of hitting myself in the head with a hammer. I really hope I don't pass out over a grill today. |
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[Oct. 2nd, 2009|11:22 pm] |
I'M SINGLE AGAAAAAIN~
Edit: ohmygod I suck I'm sorry Danielle. |
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[Sep. 27th, 2009|03:33 am] |
Okay you kids, I has a new rule dat you gots to follow 'cause I's sick'a hearin' about how old I am from Skwisgaar, he won't shuts up about it!
You ain't allows to get marry 'till you's at least 30. ESPECIALLY YOU TORII-SOU. It also goes for de tiny Teja and like. De grandkids. Gots it? Good! |
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[Sep. 26th, 2009|11:12 am] |
MISTER BILLIAM TURNER!!!
Your descendants are cute.
Come have breakfast with me! All of you. Especially you, Brendann. |
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[Sep. 9th, 2009|04:40 pm] |
Does anybody need some tinysaurs? They followed me home! |
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[Sep. 9th, 2009|10:34 am] |
Blessed thing landed me in Los Angeles.
So. Who missed me? |
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[Sep. 4th, 2009|12:05 am] |
I just caught my pâtissier sleeping with one of the waiters in the walk-in while I was helping unload fruit, and all I could say was "don't jizz on the buffalo, I sell that at fifty percent markup".
This is how I know I'm a professional chef.
And that I should probably hire someone to clean that walk-in on Tuesday. |
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[Aug. 31st, 2009|07:52 am] |
Hey there, everyone! I mean everyone. I've got something going that I think you all might be interested in.
So, I've noticed that we talk here, but a lot of us really don't have anyone to TALK to, you know. About really important stuff. So starting tonight, I'm going to set up a little informal group thing. My brother had the idea, though, got it from friends back in another reality. It's called Life Support.
Read under the cut if you're interested.
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[Aug. 31st, 2009|12:21 am] |
Good idea: Eating some delicious Mentos and watching TV!
Bad idea: Watching Mythbusters doing an experiment about eating Mentos then drinking a Coke.
Worse idea: ... I wonder if it would blow up my stomach?
Edit: Sadly, according to the TV, apparently not. :( |
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[Aug. 27th, 2009|12:09 am] |
I just made three pints of homemade ice cream, even though I don't really want any ice cream.
Clearly, this calls for me mixing it with something. Maybe cake. I don't know. I have to be the only person in the world that relaxes by churning cream.
... ew, that sounds gross. |
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[Aug. 21st, 2009|09:02 pm] |
You know, I sort of want to go out for coffee. Does anyone know any good coffee places and/or want to come with me? (If you say Starbucks, I will gnaw your ankles off.) |
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[Aug. 14th, 2009|07:11 pm] |
Is everyone okay? I feel a disruption in the Force.
... only not.
... no offense, Jedi populace. There's just no better way to say "I sense something has gone whackedy" that I know of. |
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[Aug. 11th, 2009|12:20 pm] |
Hey now! That's just rude, sucking up a gal in the middle of her shift!
Where am I? This isn't the Strip! |
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[Aug. 4th, 2009|02:15 am] |
Hey.
I'm back.
Apparently there was a little-me here while I was gone.
Anyone who saw him, please... forget you did. He's an ass.
Apparently I have another new relative now. Or something. Someone enlighten me. And tell me everywhere I used to go to sleep is still here. |
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[Aug. 3rd, 2009|08:16 am] |
I hear my utterly fabulous bestie has blown in. Can I has food nao plz? |
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[Aug. 3rd, 2009|01:16 am] |
What the hell, Universe? Hello mystery baby, goodbye culinary empire?
This place makes no sense. |
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[Aug. 2nd, 2009|08:37 pm] |
Wow, cars are goofy looking in the past. 2009, how you doin'?
Lolz, I have personal assistants. Goofy vortex! |
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