People of the East Coast:

If you have to think to yourself, "Will this freeze when I do it/throw it/lick it?" The answer is more than likely 'yes'. And while it is both highly amusing, and good practice, for your local ER to try and get the icicles out of your various reproductive tracts... just cut it the hell out, alright?

[Cadence] You got plans this weekend? I'm invited to this... thing, and people keep trying to. Well- let's just say you'd be doing me a favor, if you wouldn't make me suffer through it alone.