Sir, I regret that I am indeed serious, and even if I were inclined towards pulling your leg, I don't think I'd make a joke in such poor taste. Believe me, if there were a way back that I knew of, I wouldn't lie to you about it.
I could give you my word as a peace officer, but since I've never heard of Ferelden or Denerim, I doubt you've heard of Canada or the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.