InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "The wizard of oz in reverse"

Sister James (lessclosetogod) wrote in undertherainbow,
@ 2009-07-03 04:17:00

Entry tags:

kakia, sister james

[Blocked from Silas]

I have sinned against God and asked forgiveness but .. there are some parts that are still troubling me.

If you accidentally did something wrong, with someone else.. how do you look at them again? Look them in the eye, that is. I do not wish he leave me all alone, but it was so wrong what we did.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 07:39 pm UTC (link)
	No, you'd be .. correct. That was the vow I broke. I didn't mean to. We didn't mean to. I just feel awful. And that's true, I suppose. I can live with what I've done, I just do not want him to look at me or avoid me the way I've been avoiding him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	whats_your_vice 2009-07-03 07:44 pm UTC (link)
	Judge not, lest you be judged. Do you judge him, for what occurred? Of not, why assume he'll also judge you in return? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 07:52 pm UTC (link)
	I don't judge him, no. I don't think he'll.. judge me really. But that's different than not being able to be around me I think. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

whats_your_vice
2009-07-03 07:58 pm UTC (link)

That seems rather miserable.

If you are pure, then all things you do are pure. Which means what you did was simply discover one more beautiful thing that god has given his followers, followers created in his image. Which stands to reason that the pleasures offered were also created in his image. To deny those pleasures, and those who offer them, is much like denying a gift the lord has given to you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 08:21 pm UTC (link)
	Well I suppose that seems.. um.. I mean that makes sense, it does. It wasn't bad, I mean I .. I liked it.. very much so. But he.. I'm not sure he'd see it in the same way? [Ma'am] Can I tell you something? In private? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	whats_your_vice 2009-07-03 08:22 pm UTC (link)
	You'll never know if you avoid him though. [Sister] My name is Kakia. And of course you may. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose you're right. [Kakia] Thank you. He.. well he hurts himself when.. when he sins. I don't mean just repenting, I mean he really physically hurts himself. A lot. That's why I'm not sure.. if he could feel the same way. I don't want him to.. nearly kill himself because of me or .. anything like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Sister

whats_your_vice
2009-07-03 08:49 pm UTC (link)

Ahh. Self-flagellation.

There are those for whom... for various reasons, the pain is part of the pleasure. Those that need the pain. He may be one of those. But what he does, he chooses to do on his own, of his own free will. You can not take responsibility for the actions of another, or you're denying him that free will.

Perhaps he does avoid, but to assume he will before the fact is like crying over spilt milk while it's still in the cow. What he does he does because of himself, not because of you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kakia lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, that. Really? You think he might get pleasure from hurting himself? Hm. Well come to think of it.. he did seem a little.. maybe you're right. I know it's not my place, I suppose I just feel bad. I'm not even sure what I should do anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sister whats_your_vice 2009-07-03 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	I've always felt guilt over another's actions seems very prideful. What is it you want to do? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kakia lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 09:19 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not sure, I'd just like to go back to how things were before, that's all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sister whats_your_vice 2009-07-03 09:35 pm UTC (link)
	Then perhaps that's the best thing, to go back to that. If it's what you both want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kakia lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you for the advice. I guess I'll.. try and talk to him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Sister whats_your_vice 2009-07-03 09:49 pm UTC (link)
	Of course. This place can make complicated decision that much more confusing at times. If you need a friend to talk to, you know where to find me. I wish you luck with everything, Sister. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Kakia lessclosetogod 2009-07-03 09:50 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you so very much, Kakia. You've been a tremendous help. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -