It just so happens that it's fallen into more capable hands. There's no reason for it to be as hard as you make it out to be.
He's intelligent, but he's... for lack of a better term, Blond.
So, I've told your other half that I could give you a longer leash than Satan gave you, if you promise to behave. As far as Assignments are concerned, I very much doubt you'll be getting one from your Lord.