So, I've finally figured out how I'm going to go about this gossip columnist thing, especially since I've had a couple editors breathing down my neck for having to print 'best of' collections while I've been settling back in from my trip, recovering, they tell me.

Mind you, I've no idea what this trip was or where I was gone to, or for that matter what I should be recovering from.

My solution is this: Who wants me to write a snippet about them? And why?

It really is that simple, though don't expect this story to be at all truthful, unless of course your truth is stranger than my fiction.

Also, I am still looking for an assistant, if anyone doesn't mind helping me check facts and then blithely disregard them.