And so you have to change now. It's nice to be able to do what makes you happy, but if the world says you can't well, guess what, calling your mom in other words a selfish bitch, is not going to help things.
It's time to wake up, and realize you plunged yourself into one of the most volatile periods of history, to help, or so you say. Well, you can;t do that if your mind and heart is in the future. You did not pick one, and so nature and reality did it for oyu.,
I am sorry for your loss, but you chose to lose. You chose to not act, and now, this is the price. None of us ever get to live two lives and be happy, Marius. One life, one way, one world.
Take a week off, breathe, walk about, and just look around you. This is your world now.