|darththalia (darththalia) wrote in tpm_flashback,|
@ 2005-04-28 20:56:00
Original poster: jedi_runya
Title: Say Good Night
Warning: angst, h/c
Author's e-mail, web site and /or LJ id: email@example.com
Link to Story: http://www.masterapprentice.org/archive/g/g
Reasons for recommending: This is one of my favorite post Episode III stories. It is angsty, sad and hopeful at the same time.
I dropped my hand when he pulled his cheek out from under my touch with his movement. When I finally feel him seeping into the Force
around me, I grasp those tendrils of emotion so long denied to me. His confusion and hesitance pulls at me. A sadness fills me at that
and I close my eyes briefly, wanting nothing more than to ease away the pain.
Even still, underneath the conflicting emotions I can feel his trust in me. It is himself he does not trust -- he wants to believe but does
not believe what his own eyes show. Oh, my Obi-Wan, if I might have been able to spare you such doubts.
Smiling, I try to hold onto my vaunted Jedi patience -- at least what little of it remains now that I have another chance to hold my love.
My time with him is so very short, but I can't speak. For all the emotions churning within me, I feel just as much from him. Besides this,
I know my padawan; he needs to make the first move.
His eyes search my own almost frantically and after several long moments I feel a sensation I haven't known since I fell to the Sith.
When his mind reaches out to mine, I scramble to lessen the vast shields I have developed during mymany visits to his side. When I
at last feel the familiar tingle of our bond, so much greater than the impressions I felt moments before, my eyes clinch shut and burn.
It is true that those who pass into the Force no longer have bodies, but the sensations -- laughter, tears -- they remain.
His eyes widen, and I easily feel the trepidation and doubt slide away. When he finally finds his voice, it is rough with sleep and tears.
"How? Why?" He blinks quickly, daring a glance around the room before again staring straight into my soul. "Why now?"
I need to soothe the pain from his features, but for the moment I remain where I am. Close enough to touch, but not. "No longer
could I ignore your pain for the sake of duty." I am surprised, for some reason, to find my own voice -- years removed from true
use -- unchanged.
For a moment he looks as if he will not believe me. "Duty. Always duty." There is an edge to his voice that I have long known, and
never liked. Again he looks away before pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He sits perfectly still
for a long moment before moving in a sudden flurry of movement outward as if he suddenly cannot stand living in his own skin.
"Have you any idea what it is truly like to live, now, alone in Palpatine's empire?"Obi-Wan punctuates the words by flinging his arms
out beside him, gesturing around the room, his voice so low I can barely hear him -- almost a growl.
I nod, recognizing the strain his living as the last of the Jedi in his unsteady voice. "I am sorry that it fell upon you, my love, to face
such misery. Yet in no other could I, nor anyone, find the faith to believe the man to be far ahead of the task. You are a great Jedi,
He doesn't respond, once more pulling in on himself, but I know he has heard me. "I have tried to be what you wanted me to be. Yet
with Anakin I still failed, and it is everyone else who will live and die to pay for my folly."