|darththalia (darththalia) wrote in tpm_flashback,|
@ 2005-04-25 17:31:00
Original poster: emila_wan
Title: Who Will Not See
Author: Sleeps With Coyotes
Author's e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
Link to story: http://ciceqi.slashcity.com/See.htm
Summary: Obi-Wan has always seemed oblivious to his admirers, but all may not be as it seems.
Reasons for recommending: A quiet little story, this one has stuck with me through the years. I love a good first-time story anyway, but this one is structured so well, and has such a muted level of need running through it. It features Oblivious!Qui-Gon done really well, and the Jedi are portrayed as I like them, mature and wise and dispassionate, yet with a core of love in their hearts. And Qui-Gon's definition of love, which he tells to Obi-Wan, while not mentioning, of course, that Obi-Wan is the inspiration for it ... absolutely perfect: "It's...when you'll die for someone, but you're happier to live for them, to make them happy. When their happiness, their well-being, means more to you than your own. When you find yourself changing to fit them, but your changing is growth, not abandoning parts of yourself--and you can help them grow, as well. When...when you don't have to say anything. Love lives in the silences."
BTW, I also highly recommend "Noise" by this same author: http://ciceqi.slashcity.com/Noise.h
Quote from story:
Obi-Wan had never brought a lover around to meet his Master, and though Qui-Gon had been oddly hurt at first, thinking Obi-Wan was keeping a secret from him at last, he'd eventually begun to hurt for Obi-Wan as it became obvious there was no lover for Qui-Gon to meet. Whoever his Padawan had lost his heart to, that love was apparently not returned, though it defied belief. Who could resist this beautiful man, ever?
Obi-Wan had never given any sign that anything was wrong, no tears, no sighing at shadows, no more moodiness than he had ever been prone to. But now that he knew what to look for, Qui-Gon could feel that love sometimes, a quiet, peaceful thing deep inside his Apprentice that expected nothing, that grew in silence, as sure and unshakable and content as the circling path of stars. Whoever Obi-Wan's beloved was, they couldn't possibly be worthy of such unswerving devotion, such a vast depth of love, not if they were blind enough to turn it away. And that hurt as well, because Obi-Wan deserved so much, deserved to know the equal of that love, at least once in his life.
From someone other than his poor, foolish Master.