darththalia (darththalia) wrote in tpm_flashback, @ 2004-08-08 23:28:00 |
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Current mood: | contemplative |
Current music: | "The Philadelphia Story" |
Consolations by Yahtzee
Original poster: marzilla
Title: Consolations
Author: Yahtzee
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Q/O
Warnings: none
Author's LJ id and website: yahtzee63 http://www.thechicagoloop.net/yahtzee/
Link to story: http://www.masterapprentice.org/arc
Reasons for recommending:
And this is my other favorite TPM story. When I first read it, it broke my heart and then haunted me for weeks afterward. Yahtzee gives us a story of love over the course of many years of difficulty, a love that faltered, sundered, and endured all at the same time. Qui-Gon lived, but darkness still fell across the galaxy, and his bonding with Obi-Wan failed long ago. In "Consolations," they meet again and have second chance to say the things they need to say to each other. A unique and powerful piece of writing not to be missed.
"I wanted to ask you to forgive me," Obi-Wan said, looking down at the floor. "I have no right to that forgiveness; I know that. Every day, I see the consequences of my selfishness, my pettiness. For what's been done to the galaxy, I can offer no recompense. But what I did to you -- there are no words for my regret."
"Tell me what you mean. I think I know, but -- it's as well we were clear on this."
"From the first I resented Anakin. He took so much of your time, of your soul. No matter how hard I tried to overcome my meanness of spirit, he knew that I did not want him." Obi-Wan looked up at Qui-Gon. "Growing up like that -- always struggling for acceptance, always disapproved of -- I know that it weakened him. Helped him become Vader."
Qui-Gon did not actually flinch at the name, but Obi-Wan could sense his recoil. "When he turned to the darkness, he did not act out of bitterness towards you," Qui-Gon said. "It was me he hated. Me he blamed, for being so weak and so foolish as to trust him."
"He could well have learned that bitterness from me. The Force knows I gave him many examples of it. The things I said of him, said to him sometimes --"
"You spoke the truth, though I would not hear. That darkness was ever a part of him. You always knew, Obi-Wan, and you were not the only one. Was the Council's jealousy behind their reluctance to have him trained? No. You warned me, and I would not listen," Qui-Gon said heavily. "I took his side against yours, over and over, until I destroyed your love for me. When I look back, I cannot comprehend my own blindness."
Consolations