Current mood:	thankful
Current music:	"Truly, Madly, Deeply" - Savage Garden

[FIC] Adjusting. JP, LEP. PG.
PROMPT: None, it's a thank-you "drabble"
AUTHOR: Jessi, princessjessia (Disclaimer)
FANDOM: Harry Potter [parabolical]
CHARACTERS: Lily, James
SUMMARY: Adjusting.
RATING: PG
WORD COUNT: 489
NOTES: for dani_forever, with much ♥

For Lily, the time spent alive after dying still has the feeling of being stuck in some strange grip of time, the days so long, yet so short. The days that feel shorter are the days when the madness that is Los Angeles can be outweighed by the joy found in tea with grandchildren, watching her grown son love his family, forming new friendships or finding traces of old ones, and seeing her dearest friends find happiness, great or small.

The days that feel longer are the days when everything seems like one long, mad dream of missed chances and long-gone memories that were never made, loss and regret heavier than the reminder that their loss was the wizarding world's eventual gain. When that everything stops making sense, James Potter is her anchor. It is to him she clings, that mixture of fiery braveness underscored by sadness that defines Lily, giving so much but needing sometimes as well. Years ago, a castle didn't provide enough space between them for Lily's temper; now, half the apartment can seem like far too much space at times.

Married young, a war testing not only them and those around them, but a marriage made in those just-out-of-school period. Married young, but not a mistake or a regret. The war forged a stronger connection and in three short years, they lived more, experienced more and understood more than most would in three times that long. Married young, but with a maturity only tragedy can shape.

But he is still James and that means with every moment of maturity, there is that mischief she once frowned upon and now could never be without. The happiest parts of her days are finding James and Sirius bent over something, plotting and planning and experimenting. It is something that serves to help heal all of them, once small step at a time.

"No, Padfoot. I've got it this time. See?"

The burn on the carpet remains, not because she can't remove it – three seconds and it would be gone, five more and the smell would be too – but because it reminds her of home and James and the marks left on the walls from those bloody fireworks set off indoors the night Harry was born. It is perspective, as those memories – such a short time ago for she and James – are good to have, but looking back on the war years as 'kinder' times is nothing more than the lingering feelings of displacement. This world may be more confusing, but it it still far kinder.

It is a reminder, perspective and a promise, one that says their second life can be the best of the first without the same ending.

"Lil, I hope you didn't like those draperies. Or that wallpaper."

Those things she does replace. There are memories, and then there are eyesores.

Lily still wouldn't have it any other way.