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Olivia Blake ([info]joiedevivre) wrote in [info]toujoursliberer,
@ 2008-08-23 20:47:00

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Entry tags:character_development, demetri_blake, olivia_blake

Subject: Another long over-due conversation.
Who: Olivia Blake
Where: Christopher's estate in Surrey.
Warnings: None.
Open to: Demetri Blake

She had decided she was going to speak with all of her brothers. She had hated the distance that had managed to grow between them, and she was determined to end it. Nothing compared to the love she felt for her brothers and the memories of once being close enough to guess what the others could say before they said it, spurred her on. Since she had spoken with Christopher before the party, and because she wanted to give him time with Tessa since they seemed closer, she moved on to her next brother. Demetri was usually easier to find than Lucas, she never had the desire to tie a bell on him as she did his younger brother. And yet, she was having a hard time finding him. The stable attendants told her he had not gone out riding so she focused her search on the house itself.

Sitting room, no. Drawing room, no. Sun room, no. Dinning room, no.

She was getting tired of running about the place and getting nothing for her efforts. He was probably in the library or in his bedroom, or he could have taken out on foot. She chose the third possibility, thinking that if he was out there a walk would be a lovely thing to share, but before going out the door she stood in the foyer and called out, "Demie!" And yet it was strange, she was looking for Demetri while she was still sort of hiding from Olga. Not that she was afraid of her darling Russian, the words were just not coming to her and she would not speak to the woman about it before her words were perfect, lest she hurt her even more. Perhaps Demetri could help her, she reasoned, he was always so good with words, so charming.

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-24 02:07 am UTC (link)
Demetri had gone out and was sitting at the bench near the foyer before heading into the gardens surround the house. He grinned when he heard the very familiar sound of Olivia's voice calling for him. He stood up and turned back toward the house and looked up at his sister. "I'm here Livy!" he smiled wider at her.

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-24 11:33 am UTC (link)
Olivia was so very relieved to hear him call back to her, she hadn't had the desire to run about all day looking for him. She beamed as she came over to join her brother, forgetting for a moment that for the past half hour or so she'd been searching the house for him. And even if she had not forgotten she would not have been cross, it was just the way Liv was.

"There you are." she said as she came to a stop, standing up on tip toe to kiss her brother's cheek. She was reminded in that moment of when they were younger, he had been the tallest of the four siblings for as long as she cared to remember, and he used to tease her and Lucas by holding something of theirs up above his head and watch them jump for it. But that felt like such a long time ago. "I've missed you." as if that explained everything. "We live in the same house but we never see each other."

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-25 12:40 am UTC (link)
Demetri grinned when she came to him and kissed him on the cheek. He hugged her and spun her around a little before setting her back down. "I've missed you too. I'm so sorry I've been so recluse as of late, especially with you Livy. We've needed to talk for a while I think."

He linked his arm with hers and smiled at her. "Walk around the garden with me? It is a rather nice day, and I couldn't ask for better company dear sister."

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-25 01:01 am UTC (link)
She continued to smile brightly for her brother and nodded when he suggested a walk about the garden. "I should like that very much, it feels as if I have been cooped up for far too long." Though that was generally the way it was when you were hiding from or avoiding your lover all while having a small bout of depression. But she would be the first to point out that she was doing better.

Her other arm came up and joined the other, wrapping around his and giving his a gentle squeeze as they walked together towards the gardens. "What have you been keeping yourself busy with?" she looked up at him once more. "You haven't been flirting with Thérèse have you? I know you cannot help it as you are the handsomest out of the four of us and are so charming, but you have to leave her to Christopher. You know how hard it has been for him to get over Helene and the two of them are starting to show real progress. He has even kissed her and I could not be happier for the both of them."

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-25 01:07 am UTC (link)
"Well we can't have that, now can we? How could the prettiest thing around not be outside on an equally lovely day?" he grinned as they started to take their stroll. Demetri smiled at her and thought her the sweetest thing ever, but then again he'd thought that since the day she was born.

He laughed. "No not flirting with her but I have spoken to her on occasion. I'm afraid, the order of the library confused her a great deal," he said bemused. He was surprised to hear how things had gotten with her and Christopher. "They have, why that's excellent news. I know how much he cared for and loved Helene, but I can't help but think she'd want him to move on, to be happy, like we all want him to be."

Demetri kissed her hand and smiled. "So no, I promise, I will not charm her away from Christopher. There are... other things that beckon my time I'm afraid."

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-25 01:20 am UTC (link)
"Dem, everyone is confused by what you've done to the library, the 'Demetri's Favorites' section seems to be growing every time I happen to be in the library, and it is difficult to get used to." she gave him a completely false stern look before she could maintain it no longer and it melted into a smile.

She nodded in agreement with his thoughts on their oldest brother. "I have told him such myself, you know, and he has even said that himself, but he still says it is hard for him. The poor dear, I let him keep Rupert, I thought he was just what he needed, and you know what a fondness for cats he has."

She found herself looking down at the path for a moment. "I know, these are the same things that keep you away from me, right? Not that I would ever complain, but I hardly think it's fair that we all live in the same house again and yet we never see hide nor hair of each other."

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-25 10:22 am UTC (link)
He could only just grin at that. It had confused quite a many people, his sorting of the library. It had started when he was quite young and they just let him continue. "It's my secret plot, don't you know? To keep all the books to myself," he said grinning wide, and only jesting.

Demetri smiled, though there was a bit of sadness behind it. "Getting over someone you love, especially when taken so suddenly from you, it can be a very hard thing to get over. You want to, and to move on, but the grief and sadness can be sometimes overwhelming. I'm glad Christopher is moving on, however slowly, and I'm sure Rupert helps too."

Pausing with her, he reached out and snagged a rose from one of the bushes and gave it to her. "It is entirely unfair, you're right. And that's part of what I wanted to tell you, talk to you about too." He had told Christopher and that had been hard enough but telling Livy would be so much harder he thought. "And it's not easy Livy. I've done some things... I hope you will not think ill of me once I tell you."

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-25 04:37 pm UTC (link)
She was still smiling from his comments on his reorganization of the library when he spoke of love and moving on. That smile slowly faded when she payed closer attention to his words and his sad smile, it made her wonder, once again, what he had gotten up to in his time abroad? Had his heart been broken? He was still so tight-lipped about his days in France and she had let him be since he had distanced himself from the family so much since then.

Liv brought the rose to her lips, inhaling the sweet scent of the flower before stopping them. "Demetri." she looked up to his face. "You are my brother, I will always love you and my love is not touched by conditions." she squeezed his arm once again.

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-26 09:13 am UTC (link)
He looked down at her and smiled. Demetri shouldn't have doubted for she had always been like that, hardly ever being cross or angry for too long. He put his hand over hers and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "I would tell you. I should have before but... I couldn't. Let us sit for it is not a short story," he said guiding her to one of the benches in the garden.

Demetri took Olivia's hands and looked at her. And then he started. He told her about school in Paris and meeting Alexandre, of falling in love and then grew sad and quieter when he came to speak about Petrov, Alex's disappearance, and how Demetri came to leave Paris for the last time. A tear rolled down his cheek. It should have been easier telling the story more often but it wasn't.

"And that's why I was so distant from you all, why I was so... mean. I didn't really want Christopher to give up his title, though yes of course it would have been nice. I just need to try and keep distance away from the three of you to protect you."

He sighed, hating what he's done to the family. "But now, the man, he's threatened you, or at least threatened me with you, and even Therese too, and I had to tell you, you had to be warned. He has me doing things I wouldn't normally do, but I use what he tells me to try and make it right."

He finally breathed, or so it felt and looked at his sister and searched her face.

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-26 11:17 am UTC (link)
She had silently listened to him lay it all out, reserving comments or judgments until he finished. It had been hard, her heart broke for him when he spoke of Alexandre, when she watched that tear roll down his cheek, she was so afraid for him. But when he did finish she let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him tight. "Oh Demetri." she said softly, doing her best not to tear up.

And while terrible things had happened she was very pleased that he had been distant due to outside forces, he was still her brother and he wasn't as unsympathetic to Chris as he had pretended to be.

What could she say to all of that? Her poor Demie had suffered so much and had been so alone, any words that would come to mind were not good enough or meaningful enough for the situation. She let commenting on his pain and suffering go, he would know how she felt, he always seemed to know. "What will you do?" she asked softly, pulling back from the hug to look up at his face.

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-26 03:23 pm UTC (link)
He wasn't surprised by her hug and Demetri wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. So used to keeping his emotions under wrap, the comfort of his sister's embrace shook him. "I did not mean to upset you with all of that but I felt you had to know my dear Livy." He drew up her hands and kissed him. Even without words, Olivia had always known how to calm him, to make him feel better.

Demetri smiled at her. "I really don't know. Keep doing what he wants me to do and using the information to help the people instead, get them out of harms way I suppose. Part of me wants to just stop and the consequences be damned. He can't hurt me with Alex.... anymore but.... I can't do that to the family. If it would solely be my problem, that is one thing but he is widening to my family, my friends, he said with a sigh.

He held her hand as he thought. "I tried staying away, keeping to myself, but I can't bear being away from you all. You don't how terrible I felt, saying those things about Christopher, being so mean, so distant. I thought I was doing the best thing and I only missed out on being around you, Lucas, and Chris."

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-27 11:20 am UTC (link)
"I knew you couldn't be so cruel without reason, I never imagined the reason would be so terrible." she squeezed his hand gently. "I'm so sorry for all you have been through, brother, and that you had to suffer alone. I would have you hurt for nothing." her other hand came up to cover his as the other continued to squeeze it. Her poor Demetri.

She paused for a moment, thinking over his situation, "Is there not someone you can go to that can put a stop to this man? Father had some powerful friends, I am sure at least one of them could help you with this." no names came to her mind right away but then one could fill a library with books filled with just things she had forgotten. "You truly think he would hurt us if you stopped?"

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-27 12:33 pm UTC (link)
Demetri held her hand, taking the strength and comfort it gave. Youngest though she was, Olivia had always been so strong for them all. "I wish I felt then what I feel now, that I can tell you all what happened. But I just couldn't. And it pains me that I caused all of you, especially Christopher, so much heartache because of it."

"I wish there were. I have not found such a one as yet." He thought on it. Father did have powerful friends; perhaps it could be something to look into at some point. "I do Livy, I honestly do. There are rumours of him, but I know how he is with me, and I have seen first hand how cruel and brutal he can be. I fear for us all if I don't give in to the demands. But I will do what I must to keep you all safe."

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-28 05:59 pm UTC (link)
"But you have told me now, and I am sure you have told the others as I am usually the last to hear something before it gets to mother's ears." she gave her brother a sad little smile. "You have told us the truth now and none of us will hold it against you, Dem, you are our brother and we love you. We want to help, well I know I want to help you in any way I can, Christopher and Lucas must feel the same."

Once more she paused, this time trying to choose her words carefully. "Perhaps it is best if you just stop. How could he hurt one of us and get away with it? We are the children of Lord Blake I and the younger siblings of Lord Blake II, not to mention the connections we have through mother's sisters. If he made a move against us would that not bring him more trouble than it would be worth?"

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-29 09:05 am UTC (link)
Demetri knew she was right. He had told the others first and now thinking upon it, he should have sought Olivia out first. But nothing could be done about that. Something else took his attention. "Oh god Mother. I don't know how I can tell her." He looked at his sister and drew her into a hug once again and smiled at her. "What would I do without you Livy? I honestly don't know. I love you too, all of you, and now I just have to try and make things right again."

He looked to the garden again, thinking as he looked around before turning back to his sister. She was right, theoretically. "I know the truth of what you say but I have a bad feeling about him, about this," he said with a sad sigh. "Maybe I should talk to Mother, see who there is that can help for I do not wish to risk my family, anymore of those that I care about."

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-30 03:04 pm UTC (link)
Olivia knew telling their mother of what had happened would be a terrible idea if only because of his relationship with another man. She had always been very quick to speak out against and condemn such behavior. "You cannot tell her Demetri, or at least not the whole truth, you know well how she would take it. It would break her heart to hear that her children weren't 'normal'."

She glanced down at her hands folded in her lap after the hug. Their mother would be so upset, especially once it came to light that Christopher and Olivia also occasionally fancied members of their own gender. The woman would be inconsolable. Of course thinking of that brought her right back to Olga, and as greatly troubled with their situation as she was, she was not going to mention it to Dem. Not now when he had his own troubles to deal with.

"You know I will support you in what ever you may chose to do, don't you, Demetri?" she looked back up to her brother.

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(Anonymous)
2008-08-31 12:27 pm UTC (link)
Demetri took her hand, and nodded after a few moments. "You're right. Mother just would see anything beyond all of us married and giving her grand children." He reached up and caressed Olivia's cheek. "But we are normal Livy, don't even think that's not true." He sighed as he thought some more. "I do need to talk to her, tell her something at least."

He smiled again at his sister and kissed her cheek. "I know you will Livy, you always have. And that means so much to me too."

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[info]rogueblake
2008-08-31 12:28 pm UTC (link)
[ugh yeah that was me; I don't know why it logged off as I posted, sorry :(]

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[info]joiedevivre
2008-08-31 12:47 pm UTC (link)
She shook her head and looked down once more, "No, you and I, we're not normal." even if she knew, or thought at least, that her feelings were not unnatural, it was not normal for her to feel that way neither was it normal for him. "I'm sure if you told her that your Alexandre was a woman she would say nothing against it, she would even make finding you help her pet projects. You know you cannot stop mother once she gets going."

When he kissed her she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his shoulder. "I love you so much, Dem, I just want you to be safe."

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[info]rogueblake
2008-09-01 11:59 am UTC (link)
"Oh dear Livy, I hate seeing you so sad," Demetri said and hugged her. "I would do anything to make you happy." He kissed her forehead. "Normal or not, I love you and that will never change. But you are right. Mother can not know of this part of things. I fear even her love of her children will not allow her to understand."

He drew her in close and they sat there together. "I want you to be safe too Olivia. Safe and happy. Don't you worry, things will be alright."

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