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Lord Eward Mountford-Miles ([info]lord_eward) wrote in [info]toujoursliberer,
@ 2008-06-03 23:41:00

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Entry tags:eward_mountford-miles, katherine_rochester

Desperate Times...
Subject: Desperate times call for desperate... visits
Who: Eward Mountford-Miles, aka Lord Slutty Pants
Where; Katherine's home, after breakfast with Lysander and Abby
Warnings: None. Yet.
Open to: Katherine Rochester

After breakfast that morning with the newly-reunited family Eward's day was not going well. He had been splattered with mud from a passing horse after leaving his house, causing him to return and re-dress, only to find Edith singing her elder brother's praises and throwing it directly in his face. It was the first time in many years that Eward had been desperate to get out of his house and after an hour of walking around London he found his feet leading him towards the Rochester home.

Once outside the building he could hardly turn back. Swallowing the fear and excitement which had sprung up in his gut he knocked on the door, despite Katherine's wishes to visit late in the evenings.



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[info]krochester
2008-06-03 11:06 pm UTC (link)
Katherine's morning had not been the best. First it had been breakfast with her mother; Miles had decided late the previous evening to go off for a few days with some of his friends to hunt, and Georgina had hardly refused, instead feigning delight at spending alone time with her daughter. But that, Katherine knew, was a lie. No sooner had she sat down to breakfast with her mother than Georgina herself had risen, prepared to go do a spot of shopping that would surely last the day. She told Katherine not to bother coming, code that Katherine had deduced meant that she was visiting one of her men.

Well good on her, then. Good on her leaving Katherine alone in the house when all she needed was a distraction. She had not been entirely calm since Lord Hurst's hunt, and for a number of reasons. There was the obvious subject of Eward, but Katherine managed to keep him from her thoughts most of the day. And there was Lysander, too, and she was feeling even more confused about him after he had visited. Eward quite obviously was unnerved by his return, as he ought to be, but what should she feel? How should she react?

As Katherine left the table, having sat there for a good hour after Georgina's departure, she heard the unmistakable sound of a knock at the door. She had already dismissed the maid and butler for the day - she had no need for them when she was by herself - and so attended to it herself. Unbolting the lock, Katherine pulled the door open, her eyes nearly burning with shock. She simply stood at the door, not sure what to make of the unexpected appearance of the man on her doorstep.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-03 11:11 pm UTC (link)
Eward looked at Katherine with a sheepish sort of stare, licking his lips which were suddenly dry. Her face said it all; she needn't say a word and to answer he shock he took off his hat and wringed it in his hands.

"I know you told me not to come..." he said quickly, almost apologetically, "but I had to escape my house, and I dared not visit anyone else. I needed to be where I could be..." myself "..at peace, of sorts. I do hope I am not intruding but if I am please say so." He hoped to God that he was not. The thought of walking all the way back to his home with his tail between his legs, hurt that she had dismissed was all he needed to push him over the edge.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-03 11:17 pm UTC (link)
Katherine was not entirely sure what to make of the fact that Eward was standing on her doorstep, practically begging her to let him just be in peaceful company. Her mouth was dry and her stomach had wound itself into knots almost immediately at the sight of him; it did seem that there was something amiss, and that intrigued her enough to not be angry.

"You're lucky my mother and Miles are away," Katherine stated matter-of-factly, but she found that her voice wavered; was it uncontrolled anxiety or excitement that caused it? Pulling the door further open, Katherine continued quickly, "Now get inside before anybody notices how odd this is."

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-03 11:22 pm UTC (link)
Eward didn't need telling twice. Like a scolded boy he hurried inside, clearing his throat once she shut the door. So what happened now? He had never visited of his own accord. Until now they had met due to being thrown together or in open spaces - in the privacy of her own home was new territory, and they were completely and utterly alone.

"I.. am sorry if I disturbed you..."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-03 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Katherine remained silent as Eward stepped across the threshold and into the foyer of the house. She was, too, quiet as she shut the door behind him, bolting the lock once more, remaining with her hands pressed against the heavy wood for just a moment longer, collecting herself. When he spoke to her, she at last turned into the house to face him.

Swallowing, Katherine responded evenly, "You have disturbed nothing, you need not apologize." It felt forced, strained, as if all they could do without feeling odd was to discuss necessities, argue, or make love, and Katherine was keen on none of them at the moment.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-03 11:35 pm UTC (link)
"I feel I must," he shrugged, a soft look on his face. Seeing her infront of him and, for once, having not greeted him with a sharp or snappish remark was a first. "I put myself upon you the other day in the park, seeking you out for consolement about my brother. I come upon you when you have the day to yourself - I fear I am just a walking mess and you are bearing the brunt of it." That was open of him, more so than usual.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-03 11:40 pm UTC (link)
Katherine watched Eward carefully, but gently. She held back the urge to show her surprise at his forwardness, honesty, and gentility, for it was, indeed, still shocking. "I..." she began, unable to formulate a reasonable response. "You've no need to worry about disturbing me, Eward," Katherine at last suggested, his name feeling soft and warm on her tongue. "Please," she continued, taking a step towards him, "stay. I've dismissed the maid and butler, but if you need anything at all, I will find it."

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-03 11:48 pm UTC (link)
Eward's eyes as he looked to her practically said he just needed her but his mouth couldn't say it. With a gulp and yet another lick of his lips he managed to finally shake his head. "No. No I do not need anything. Thank you, though. I think I would just like a sit down..."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-03 11:53 pm UTC (link)
Katherine caught Eward's eyes and saw the distraction in them, and she could not blame him. She was not in his place, did not know what was truly going on between Eward and Lysander, but it was obviously hurting him, and enough to drive him to her alone for comfort. "If...if you're sure that's all," Katherine began, taking another step towards Eward and offering her hand to him, not quite realizing how clammy it was, "we'll go to the lounge. It is indeed quieter there without the noise off the street." Somewhere intentionally private. Are you out of your mind?

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-03 11:59 pm UTC (link)
With a nod he allowed himself to be lead into the lounge, taking incentive to sit down on the sofa albeit a little nervously. He hadnt yet let go of his hat, nor Katherine's hand. Again it was a much needed comfort. "I know you hate them," he began, his hands trembling, "but my sisters are... they are alrady flocking to Lysander. I - they do not seem to think in the same spirit as I."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 12:04 am UTC (link)
Katherine, having led Eward into the lounge, remained standing, their hands still clasped. Silently, almost as if a ghost, Katherine pulled her hand away, taking his hat and setting it on a table as Eward spoke. She pondered the most optimal place to be seated; beside him on the sofa or in the adjacent chair? Neglecting the choice for the moment, Katherine turned carefully to Eward and replied, her voice low and even, "You cannot expect them to. It is different between brothers, most of all when there is a title to be had." She hoped that she had not struck a nerve.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 12:16 am UTC (link)
Of course it was different between brothers, but certianly not in the way it was for Lysander and him. The fact that Lysander had accused Eward - possibly half rightly so - of murdering him was enough to change things somewhat. Though Eward had explained he doubted his brother believed him and he was just waiting for the consequences. His title would probably be the first to go, followed by any priviledges. If he had no title - if he was suddenly without the reputation he held now, what choice did he have but to be downgraded to a lesser person in people's eyes? They would lose interest in him. He would be seen as a rotten pig brother of a Lord, rather than a humorous, devil-may-care Lord.

Not that he wanted any of those reputations now, but the thought scared him. He could lose Katherine and that thought was enough to make his eyes tear.

"I find it hard to be in the same house. I lock my door - I lock my door, from my own brother! I fear I am losing my mind.."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 12:21 am UTC (link)
Katherine's chest ached, her heart breaking for Eward in his predicament. She loved Miles, adored him, but could not imagine feeling suffocated by him as Eward seemed to feel of Lysander. Naturally it was different, but avoiding one's own sibling, fearing their presence, their very survival? No wonder Eward felt as he did of his own sanity.

She wasted no time in hurrying to the sofa, descending upon it with hurried grace, taking both of Eward's hands in her own smaller clammy ones. Katherine lowered her eyes, terrified that she might say something wrong. "You are not. Your mind may change on account of Lysander, but it is not lost."

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 12:25 am UTC (link)
When he felt her hands it was all the better - Eward took a deep breath and looked to her, knowing what she said was trying to help but he did not feel any different. "I hope it is not. It is driving me mad." Without thinking he took the chance to raise her hands and kiss them gently, doing that instead of lean forward and kiss her lips, fearing that would be inappropriate. "Forgive me for unloading this on you. I do not deserve your kindness."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 12:30 am UTC (link)
Katherine's heart was beating out of her chest, anticipating either his complete breakdown or, more surprisingly, his calm. It was indeed the latter. She kept her silence as Eward raised her hands to his lips, his breath soft and warm on her knuckles as he spoke to her. Swallowing, Katherine pulled her fingers from his grasp, barely reaching out and running her fingertips along his jaw and chin. "That is for me to decide," Katherine answered to his ultimate statement, offering a serene smile, "and it is no burden to me."

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 10:06 am UTC (link)
Oh why couldn't he just kiss her for God's sake? The expectations and rules of society had been burnt into his brain and though he chose to break many of them on frequent occasions, he still felt the need to uphold them now, in private and in the company of the Rochester home where he wanted to ignore them like usual.

Well to hell with playing by the rules. Eward moved forward and kissed Katherine lightly at first, gradually deepening it with a soft breath, unable to restrain himself any longer. If it was too much she would say, if it was enjoyable then hopefully she would say too. It was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 11:34 am UTC (link)
Katherine had initially been worried that Eward's visit would bright naught but more trouble, whether mental on account of Lysander or physical if someone found out that they had forgone their years of hatred. But she found herself oddly calm now, sitting on the sofa beside him, just barely touching. She felt a strange serenity, as if now that there was far less ill will between them the pressure had been lifted. Things were easier, less angry, less uptight.

Well, considerably less uptight. Katherine ought to have anticipated that Eward would not spend private moments in her company without some advance; if he'd had the heart to kiss her out in the open in the park, then he would sure as hell not hold back when they were alone. And she was of no mind to resist him, least of all when what he needed most was to feel wanted, something he seemed not to be getting on account of Lysander's return. Katherine allowed her eyes to slip closed as Eward kissed her, the utter quiet of the room and his touch the oly things surrounding her. Had she not dismissed the maid and butler, she'd have felt differently, but if they had followed their instructions then they would be nowhere near this part of the house.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 06:12 pm UTC (link)
As Eward kissed her his mind went completely blank; it was as if the feel of her lips erased any worries and concerns from his mind and it was a welcome relief. Intensifying it slightly so that she might not protest, Eward took her in his arms, bringing her forward. Someone could have mentioned his brother and not garnered a reaction he was so caught up in the moment.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 06:19 pm UTC (link)
Katherine did not even make an attempt at suppressing the hot wave of excitement within her at Eward's kiss. Her chest was warm, her hands trembling as she slid her arms around his neck, supporting herself against him as he pulled her forward into his embrace. Sighing against his lips, Katherine ran her fingertips along the back of Eward's neck, a movement both to relax herself and him. For a fleeting moment, Katherine wondered whether or not this was fair to either of them, to continue going on as they were when nothing could come of it. But she pushed the thought from her mind as quickly as it had come, instead focusing on the soft, sensual caress of Eward's lips on hers.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 06:54 pm UTC (link)
In a mark of behaviour completely unlike him, Eward broke the kiss, parting their mouths and bodies for a brief moment while he caught his breath. He had suddenly felt that this was wrong, to simply come over and use her as an emotional leaning post. It was not right. In a sudden attack of consience Eward looked away.

"Sorry. I should not take advantage of this, I don't want you to think little of me for using my emotions to co-erce you into kissing me.... as if your opinion of me has not been low all these years," he added with a sheepish chuckle.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 07:01 pm UTC (link)
Katherine found herself utterly and completely shocked by Eward's actions as he pulled away from her, and, almost disbelieving it, Katherine kept her eyes closed just a moment longer; perhaps she'd imagined it. But he had indeed drawn away from her, and though she was impressed and flattered that Eward had taken the moment to consider her own feelings, Katherine could not help but miss his touch.

She let her hands fall softly and quietly from around his neck, her fingertips ghosting over his chest as she responded, in her voice a mix of coy sensuality and clear honesty, "It is not coersion if it is concensual." Katherine looked up, meeting his eyes. "And I do not deny having appreciated all the others of your family before you, but you have not come close of late to my former bad opinions of you."

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 07:13 pm UTC (link)
At her admission that she had not minded, or had even wanted the kiss, Eward relaxed. Her hands were a welcome feeling on his chest and he silently wished for her to allow them to linger. Her voice held something he had only heard from her on a few occasions, but he refrained from recalling them now; to do so would inevtiably make him desirous and as her mere presence was enough to incite that in him he thought it would be unwise.

"I am glad. I would hate to continue life with you now in the same manner as we did all those years of childhood together..."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 07:21 pm UTC (link)
Katherine rested her hands in her lap, afraid that she'd not be able to stop herself from touching Eward if she left them nearer to him. That ought not to have been the case, for she had self-control enough for them both if she wished it, and it almost unnerved Katherine that it was. Swallowing, Katherine lowered her eyes, nearly embarrassed but partly nervous. Had the situation been different between Eward and his brother, she'd have mentioned Lysander's visit to her, but the tension made her refrain.

Almost uncomfortably, but with a sincerity and warmth uncharacteristic of her, Katherine, responded, "Ah yes, with torment enough to send me crying into your brothers' arms? You were quite cruel to me, you know," she chided, before adding, "but not without more than enough harsh words from my overproud youth."

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 07:27 pm UTC (link)
"Overproud and overzealous," Eward added, a smile on his face. To think of her as a young woman, even a girl entering her teens, brought back fond memories. Though he'd managed to convince himself all those years that he despised her annoying ways instead of find them endearing or amusing, Eward now recognised the truth of his younger attempts at hiding his true feelings.

"I was cruel because in truth that was the only way I could handle people around me. The only way I could handle myself and my feelings... I still remember when I pushed you into that pond." He chuckled. "That was funny."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 07:31 pm UTC (link)
Katherine blushed, looking away. It seemed she'd always been the ardently opinionated young woman she was now, just differently. Her behavior around Eward was always just retaliation to a challenge, the only true challenged she'd had. Almost all men shied away from arguing with women, least of all ones younger than themselves as Katherine was to Eward, but he had never been afraid to fight her. And that had its appeal to her in earlier years, and certainly now.

"You were the only one who argued with me, you know. All of the others...they were afraid I'd either win or they'd be chided for hurting me," Katherine remarked before shooting him a challenging, albeit jesting, look. "For you, perhaps, but walking home soaked to the skin is never my idea of amusement."

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 07:36 pm UTC (link)
"I knew you were a softie at heart," Eward shrugged, but he secretly liked the praise. If he could call it that, but he wanted to think of it that way nevertheless. "That did not make our arguments any easier, though. You stung me quite a few times. The pond was just one way of my getting my own back, and you handled yourself quite well. If I recall rightly, you strolled back home with your chin in the air even though your shoes squelched.."

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 07:42 pm UTC (link)
"I ought to have realized that you had something of a softness too," Katherine admitted, perhaps afraid that Eward would take it the wrong way. "I might have saved us both a good amount of arguing." She laughed then, warmly and appreciatively. "Good that you didn't tell me then that I'd hurt you. It'd only have inflated my horrible childish pride." Almost instinctively, and out of nowhere, Katherine felt her hands leave her lap, taking Eward's much larger hand between them.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 07:49 pm UTC (link)
"You have not changed you know," he smiled, placing his other hand ontop of hers. "Well - apart from becoming more beautiful and intelligent... and wiser," he added, staring deep into her eyes now, threatening to become lost in them. "And you are certainly more accepting of me...."

He reached out then, placing a hand on her cheek. "Not a day went by that I did not secretly wish for another second spent in your presence. Even if you were only there to argue it was better than not seeing you, and though I never admitted it to myself I believe my family knew before I did..." Carried away by his surge of feelings he paused, not realising he had leant closer to her. "Katherine..."

Losing the words, Eward simply kissed her, deeper than before.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 07:56 pm UTC (link)
Katherine opened her mouth to thank him, perhaps even to stutter her gratefulness for his flatteries, but the words died on her tongue from the look in his eyes. She had not seen Eward like this before, almost running off at the mouth with praise, least of all for her. His hand on her cheek was hot and tingling, and the way he said her name...her mind was blank but for that one moment. Her heart raced, moving faster with each word, praying that it was true, not just lies in a moment of passion.

She was eager and pliant in Eward's arms, slipping her arms about his neck once more and pulling him closer. For a fleeting moment, she felt the sting of sadness for that this would never be her life, passion and gentility certainly a void in the life awaiting her in marriage, but pushed it away. No, she could not think of that now, not when Eward held her so caringly and - dare she say it? - lovingly.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 08:00 pm UTC (link)
Eward stumbled when she pulled him closer, his balance overtipping and he found his body leaning further against her than usual. With his arms around her he attempted to steady them, slowing her decline back on the sofa so their kiss was not broken. His heart too was beating faster and he felt it was due to explode from the emotion of their moments together. His regret at this point in time was simply that he had found how compatible they could be so late in life... they had wasted so many years, and he wanted to make up for lost time...

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 08:07 pm UTC (link)
Katherine sighed comfortably against his mouth as they fell backward against the cushions of the sofa. Her dress would be wrinkled and her mother's good furniture tarnished with her infidelity to the engagement set out for her, but Eward's embrace managed to keep her from putting too much care on anything but him. She felt differently with him than she had with anyone else, so transparent but also so whole. His kiss was passionate and full, and she returned it in kind.

Through the haziness of her desire, Katherine heard the distinct sound of the heavy lock of the front door being turned with its key...from the outside. Miles would not be home so soon, but her mother...

"Katherine! Katherine, darling, I've come home!" Her heart plummeting into her stomach, Katherine forced herself away from Eward as well as she could manage, rising quickly from the sofa and extending her hand to him.

"Come, quickly, before she sees you!" she whispered, half angrily and half with the excitement of the chase. "There's a back door just down the hall, now come!"

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 09:05 pm UTC (link)
Oh this reminded Eward of old times; on countless occasions, Eward had been unceremoniously flung out of women's homes as husbands or parents - sometimes even sons - were arriving back earlier than expected. But this time, rather than feeling generally amusing, Eward thought it was terrible timing. How could her mother come back at THIS moment? With desperation Eward jolted upright, fixing his clothes with a shocked look on his face. Adrenaline from both her kiss and the danger of getting caught, Eward followed Katherine at a swift pace breathing heavily.

"You did not tell me your mother would come home!" he gasped, unable to stop himself from grinning despite the situation. As soon as the door was open he stumbled outside, turning around to see her.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 09:58 pm UTC (link)
Katherine hurried down the hall, Eward close behind her, her body pulsing with the strange exhilaration of the realization that their clandestine affair must, indeed, remain a secret, and that it was at stake. As they approached the door, Katherine saw Marie the maid coming out of her rooms and grabbed the older woman's arm. "Marie, greet my mother at the door, would you? I am in your debt for it." The maid nodded, casting a wary glance at Eward before hurrying off towards the foyer.

Throwing the back door open, Katherine stood on the threshold as Eward stumbled out onto stairs leading down to the alley. Katherine admonished him quietly and hoarsely, "Yes, but must I remind you that you came over unannounced? After I specifically said not..."

"Miss Katherine!" Marie called from the foyer, "Miss Katherine, I know you are feeling a bit ill, but your mother wishes to see you!" Katherine silently thanked the maid; she'd have to do something doubly kind for her next time she got the chance.

Looking back to Eward, Katherine carefully reached out her hand to touch his cheek, her own still flushed. "If you need me..." she trailed off, saying little but knowing he would find her meaning. "At night," she added matter-of-factly.

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[info]lord_eward
2008-06-04 10:16 pm UTC (link)
Eward couldn't believe they'd run into the maid. She would not doubt require shuting up now and if he had been feeling like himself he might have taken it upon himself to do it - however he doubted very much that Katherine would appreciate his way of persuading maids to stay quiet as it usually involved them getting louder first.

"At night. As you wish," Eward agreed, a bright look on his face. He went to walk away but suddenly had a second thought doubling back and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before he began running down the alley, grinning like a mischeivous boy.

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[info]krochester
2008-06-04 10:28 pm UTC (link)
Katherine, breathing quite heavily, she realized, was not entirely shocked when Eward turned back to her, his intentions quite clear. She allowed herself to enjoy his ultimate kiss despite knowing that her mother was just a short hallway away, and as he pulled away caught his eyes, but just for a moment before he was off down the alley. Pushing the door closed and bolting it, Katherine collected herself, focusing on the task at hand and not on the sweet touch of Eward's lips, before starting off towards the foyer to greet her mother.

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