Who Taj and Casper What A lot of stammering around, some real direct talk, then a sudden idea to spin a bottle on the map and just take off Type AIM Chat When April 23rd, late evening. Warnings A little bit of language Status Complete
4/24/2012 1:04:41 AM) tajmuhull: hey Casper (1:05:11 AM) casperhowls: 'hi (1:06:05 AM) tajmuhull: um, (1:06:17 AM) tajmuhull: did you have fun the other day? (1:06:42 AM) casperhowls: yeah. i like piano im sorry i broke them though (1:07:29 AM) tajmuhull: Yeah, but we knew that might happen. You were really starting to get the hang of the pressure by the end (1:07:40 AM) casperhowls: i guess (1:08:14 AM) tajmuhull: you were. I was proud of you (1:08:24 AM) tajmuhull: do you think (1:08:25 AM) tajmuhull: um (1:08:27 AM) tajmuhull: ya know (1:08:33 AM) tajmuhull: you might want more lessons/ (1:08:34 AM) tajmuhull: ? (1:10:01 AM) casperhowls: how many more pianos do you have? (1:10:12 AM) tajmuhull: 3 (1:10:27 AM) casperhowls: and if i break them its okay? (1:10:40 AM) tajmuhull: yeah, it's ok . (1:10:59 AM) casperhowls: then yes (1:12:38 AM) tajmuhull: is there any certain songs you'd like to learn? (1:12:56 AM) casperhowls: i dont really know any (1:13:07 AM) tajmuhull: you did seem to do better by ear than just reading (1:13:35 AM) casperhowls: I'm not very good at reading (1:14:41 AM) tajmuhull: I have one I'd like to teach you. (1:14:45 AM) tajmuhull: if you like it (1:14:49 AM) tajmuhull: you wanna hear it? (1:15:05 AM) casperhowls: okay (1:15:37 AM) tajmuhull: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jY6mFKQQCU (1:22:13 AM) casperhowls: do you think i'll be able to play that? (1:22:36 AM) tajmuhull: I do. with my help. and enough practices. (1:22:48 AM) tajmuhull: if you like that one. I can find another (1:23:05 AM) casperhowls: i like that one (1:25:15 AM) tajmuhull: ok. good. I like it too (1:25:21 AM) tajmuhull: for you (1:25:27 AM) tajmuhull: um (1:25:28 AM) tajmuhull: yeah (1:26:02 AM) casperhowls: you say um a lot today (1:26:11 AM) tajmuhull: do i? (1:26:16 AM) tajmuhull: I'm sorry (1:26:25 AM) casperhowls: why are you sorry? (1:26:29 AM) tajmuhull: I think I'm nervous (1:27:17 AM) casperhowls: why? (1:27:17 AM) tajmuhull: and sorry for saying um I guess. I don't want to sound...er... unconfident. (1:27:22 AM) tajmuhull: well (1:27:46 AM) tajmuhull: because I just... I think I mess a lot of things up lately (1:27:55 AM) tajmuhull: and I don't want to mess this up (1:28:44 AM) tajmuhull: us up (1:30:58 AM) casperhowls: oh (1:31:01 AM) casperhowls: okay (1:32:13 AM) tajmuhull: yeah (1:32:39 AM) tajmuhull: I (1:32:53 AM) tajmuhull: can't decide if that's an encouraging okay or not (1:32:54 AM) tajmuhull: heh (1:34:03 AM) casperhowls: whats wrong? (1:34:48 AM) tajmuhull: I just was trying to decide what "oh okay" meant. (1:35:36 AM) casperhowls: it can mean something other than okay? (1:37:53 AM) tajmuhull: I just... can I ask you something? (1:38:10 AM) tajmuhull: I mean, damn Taj spit it out (1:38:13 AM) tajmuhull: I mean (1:38:48 AM) tajmuhull: I like you. Like a lot. And I want you to like me back and I'm afraid I'm fucking that up in a big way (1:39:32 AM) casperhowls: how? (1:40:35 AM) tajmuhull: you mean, how do I like you or how am I fucking it up? (1:40:53 AM) casperhowls: how are you fucking it up (1:45:47 AM) tajmuhull: well, I really like that I've been honest with you, and you haven't judged me on anything like some people do, even some of my brothers. That feels really good. But, that also means you know things I don't usually tell people, and maybe ... maybe it's hurtful? At least if you actually liked me the way I think I want you to. I don't want to hurt you. I hate that thought. And sometimes I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met and I wish I could make you feel the same way. But, I couldn't possibly. And then I get sad. And then I realize I'm sad over something you probably don't feel. And then I feel worse. And if that makes me feel worse I figure that has to mean something. (1:45:58 AM) tajmuhull: omg I just babbled myself into oblivion (1:46:15 AM) tajmuhull: I make no sense (1:47:30 AM) casperhowls: Taj (1:47:37 AM) tajmuhull: yeah? (1:48:07 AM) casperhowls: nevermind (1:48:15 AM) tajmuhull: hey. (1:48:21 AM) tajmuhull: please dont stop (1:48:38 AM) casperhowls: i dont know how to say what i wanted to. im not good with words (1:48:49 AM) tajmuhull: it's ok. I don't think I am either (1:48:58 AM) tajmuhull: that's why I'm always using songs (1:49:00 AM) tajmuhull: but (1:49:05 AM) tajmuhull: people dont get that either (1:49:13 AM) tajmuhull: no one gets me really (1:49:30 AM) tajmuhull: you can try tho? please (1:49:39 AM) tajmuhull: I want to know what's on your mind now (1:50:02 AM) casperhowls: if it comes out wrong you're not going to like it though (1:50:54 AM) tajmuhull: it's ok. you know I'm used to being let down in this area. please just be honest. I can't take lies. it's worse than truth that hurts. (1:54:42 AM) casperhowls: i like you and you love Andy...i know that if Andy ever decides to love you back the way you love him then i won't matter anymore. i don't like that. my wolf doesn't like it. you're my birdcat but you want to be Andy's and if that happens then I'm okay with that. (1:57:10 AM) tajmuhull: why are you ok with that? (1:57:29 AM) casperhowls: because that's what you want (1:58:06 AM) tajmuhull: no. that doesn't make sense. what about what you want? Doesn't that count more to you? (1:58:29 AM) casperhowls: not really. (1:58:38 AM) tajmuhull: why not? (1:58:57 AM) casperhowls: i want you to be happy (1:59:27 AM) tajmuhull: birdcat? hehe. I'm your birdcat? (1:59:39 AM) casperhowls: what? (1:59:41 AM) casperhowls: oh (1:59:46 AM) casperhowls: um (1:59:52 AM) casperhowls: my wolf calls you that (1:59:59 AM) tajmuhull: really? (2:00:08 AM) casperhowls: thats how you smell (2:00:19 AM) casperhowls: like a bird and a cat (2:00:28 AM) tajmuhull: can you like hear him in there? inside you? (2:00:39 AM) casperhowls: he's always here (2:00:59 AM) tajmuhull: would he hurt me? (2:01:12 AM) casperhowls: yes (2:01:22 AM) casperhowls: not physically (2:01:26 AM) casperhowls: but in other ways (2:01:33 AM) tajmuhull: what ways (2:01:37 AM) casperhowls: at least i don't think physically (2:01:42 AM) casperhowls: he wants andy dead (2:01:56 AM) tajmuhull: oh (2:02:00 AM) tajmuhull: I see (2:02:08 AM) casperhowls: im sorry (2:03:06 AM) tajmuhull: if you're wolf didn't want his birdcat - would you still like me? (2:03:12 AM) tajmuhull: your* (2:03:46 AM) casperhowls: i can't answer that. i am my wolf (2:04:04 AM) tajmuhull: then why do we talk about them like you're separate? (2:04:32 AM) casperhowls: i don't know (2:04:43 AM) casperhowls: in my head i always have (2:05:00 AM) casperhowls: we're different (2:05:04 AM) casperhowls: but we're the same (2:05:31 AM) tajmuhull: when we were "together" you felt the same - I loved being with the whole you (2:06:19 AM) casperhowls: when im with you there's no wolf and no person. just me (2:12:03 AM) tajmuhull: yeah. It felt that way. honestly? I keep trying to get this out of my head. I hope that doesn't sound bad either, just like you said to me about what you wanted to say. And if we're being completely honest. I didn't want to like you more than any of my other "dates" per say. The most real truth I can give you is this: I tried to avoid thinking of you, because I'm so used to believing Andy is what I was born for. No one's been able to make me think of anyone but him. And you have. I can't... stop it. I don't know what all that means, but to me? it means something big, even if I can't define it yet. I know if you left I'd feel like crumbling inside and I've never felt that pull for anyone but my 4 brothers. I think you're scared and I'm sorry I'm the cause of that. But, I just can't stand the thought of not seeing what we are either. (2:12:17 AM) tajmuhull: I need to find out (2:12:37 AM) tajmuhull: I just think you're scared to let me (2:16:33 AM) casperhowls: scared to let you what? (2:20:28 AM) tajmuhull: scared to let us move forward in anything, because of what you said earlier, that you think I'd just leave you for Andy the moment he would snap his fingers. but you know what I believe? I believe that couldn't happen, not if we grew - if we found out we meant more to eachother than piano lessons and peanut butter. heh. get me? But, We can't figure that out, not if we're both blocking ourselves from fright.. you scared of getting hurt because of Andy and me scared to lose what apparently I've never had (2:21:06 AM) casperhowls: thats not what i mean (2:21:11 AM) casperhowls: meant (2:21:16 AM) tajmuhull: then what (2:21:33 AM) casperhowls: i never thought of it that way before (2:21:35 AM) casperhowls: i dont (2:21:54 AM) casperhowls: i guess i don't think much like a person (2:22:55 AM) tajmuhull: idk. I'm not exactly normal either (2:23:01 AM) tajmuhull: maybe I'm way off (2:23:09 AM) tajmuhull: but it's what I feel (2:23:29 AM) casperhowls: Taj (2:23:32 AM) tajmuhull: yeah? (2:23:52 AM) casperhowls: you're already mine. (2:24:04 AM) casperhowls: thats what i feel (2:24:26 AM) casperhowls: my birdcat (2:24:31 AM) casperhowls: my taj (2:24:48 AM) casperhowls: i don't know how else to explain it (2:24:53 AM) casperhowls: i think it's a wolf thing (2:26:53 AM) casperhowls: to me its not complicated (2:26:55 AM) casperhowls: it just is (2:29:55 AM) tajmuhull: if that's what you feel, and you still said you'd be ok if I ended with Andy.... I.... you said you just want me to be happy? - I - That's... strangely beautiful to me. not because Im saying I want Andy, but because ... that goes against what you feel... like I'm that important to you already. Maybe I'm being complicated and it's very simple to you, but I'm not a wolf. and idk. maybe that's why I can't stop thinking about you even when I try not to? Maybe I'm more yours than I realize somehow? idk? Does that weird? (2:30:03 AM) tajmuhull: sound* weird? (2:32:29 AM) casperhowls: you are that important to me. (2:33:49 AM) tajmuhull: you're important to me too. (2:34:04 AM) tajmuhull: Im not sure that can change (2:34:12 AM) tajmuhull: you just are (2:34:27 AM) tajmuhull: that part is simple to me (2:38:45 AM) casperhowls: i wish i could explain it better (2:42:31 AM) tajmuhull: I wish I was better for you (2:42:37 AM) tajmuhull: I wish (2:42:45 AM) tajmuhull: I was faster for you (2:42:50 AM) tajmuhull: I wish (2:43:13 AM) tajmuhull: I didn't have the ability to hurt you like I apparently already have (2:43:19 AM) tajmuhull: I wish... (2:43:23 AM) tajmuhull: ... (2:43:27 AM) casperhowls: stop (2:43:27 AM) tajmuhull: I just (2:43:43 AM) tajmuhull: I like the idea of being your birdcat (2:43:49 AM) tajmuhull: sorry (2:44:14 AM) casperhowls: taj (2:44:22 AM) tajmuhull: yes? (2:44:30 AM) casperhowls: i think you're perfect (2:46:02 AM) tajmuhull: I dont (2:46:16 AM) casperhowls: thats okay (2:53:03 AM) tajmuhull: how come tho? why am do you think that? (2:53:32 AM) casperhowls: because you dont have to agree with what i already know (2:53:56 AM) tajmuhull: I've tried so hard to be perfect for people. so very hard. and no one wants me. no one. I haven't even tried hard enough for you. and you say that? (2:54:34 AM) tajmuhull: you kinda overwhelm me (2:54:41 AM) tajmuhull: saying that (2:55:07 AM) casperhowls: oh. im sorry. (2:55:49 AM) tajmuhull: don't be sorry. I just... I'm not used to this (2:56:22 AM) tajmuhull: it's a new feeling (2:56:33 AM) tajmuhull: I dont know that I know it (2:57:40 AM) casperhowls: i know how that feels (3:05:29 AM) tajmuhull: casper (3:05:46 AM) tajmuhull: I wanna do something crazy (3:05:56 AM) casperhowls: like what? (3:07:00 AM) tajmuhull: I want to leave town. Let's get out of here. Just for a little bit? A few days? (3:07:39 AM) tajmuhull: it could be fun (3:09:32 AM) casperhowls: where would you like to go? (3:11:43 AM) tajmuhull: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRHTXFIKfFs I'm not sure. Let's not plan it. Let's just go. Fill up the gas tank and spin the damn bottle on the map? (3:18:24 AM) casperhowls: will you get into trouble? (3:20:20 AM) tajmuhull: naw baby. I mean, what I'm supposed to do versus how many times I don't do it, versus what they threaten, versus what they do, because they don't want me to be the enemy, they know that already. hehehehehe. It's totally worth the risk. Odds are always with me (3:20:52 AM) casperhowls: do you know how to drive? (3:21:06 AM) tajmuhull: yes I even have a car (3:21:22 AM) tajmuhull: I had it imported (3:21:44 AM) tajmuhull: from Iran. I don't buy much but when I do, I know what I like (3:22:07 AM) tajmuhull: and I wanted to learn everything about persia (3:22:15 AM) tajmuhull: including cars. lol (3:22:28 AM) casperhowls: when would you like to go? (3:24:01 AM) tajmuhull: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/1103/Elendili/kev/newfiatsiena7yq.jpg see look. it's a weird color. but, idk.. I like to be different (3:24:17 AM) tajmuhull: But, ummmmmmmmm (3:24:21 AM) tajmuhull: tomorrow? (3:24:40 AM) tajmuhull: after a good night's sleep for driving (3:24:41 AM) casperhowls: why tomorrow? (3:24:45 AM) casperhowls: oh (3:24:48 AM) casperhowls: right (3:24:57 AM) tajmuhull: you wanna sleep here? (3:25:22 AM) casperhowls: okay (3:25:57 AM) tajmuhull: I'm gonna go get a map. and find a bottle . hold on (3:25:59 AM) tajmuhull: hehehee (3:27:32 AM) tajmuhull: hold on I gotta do it again (3:27:39 AM) tajmuhull: we landed inthe ocean (3:27:41 AM) tajmuhull: lolol (3:28:51 AM) casperhowls: i dont like swimming (3:30:36 AM) tajmuhull: hmmm how man hours you willing to drive (3:30:40 AM) tajmuhull: many* (3:30:52 AM) casperhowls: i don't know how to drive (3:31:19 AM) tajmuhull: LOL. I meant how far are you willing to go? (3:32:07 AM) casperhowls: i don't mind (3:32:34 AM) tajmuhull: Well cuz the tip of the bottle landed on Tennessee (3:32:45 AM) tajmuhull: that's 14 hours (3:32:50 AM) tajmuhull: lolol (3:32:54 AM) tajmuhull: let's fucking do it (3:33:04 AM) tajmuhull: I'm looking up what's there (3:33:14 AM) tajmuhull: smokey mountains (3:33:30 AM) tajmuhull: I like that idea (3:34:08 AM) casperhowls: whats smokey moutntains? (3:37:11 AM) tajmuhull: http://www.insidesevierville.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/sm3.jpg this is the smokey mountains. and so are these http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/tennessee/images/s/great-smoky-mountains.jpghttp://www.travelblat.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Great-Smoky-Mountains.jpg very known for black bears (3:37:45 AM) tajmuhull: http://www.flyfishingsmokymountains.com/images/Little_River_6-210-08_009.jpg lots of boulders to picnic on (3:37:55 AM) tajmuhull: and lots of cabins in the woods (3:38:02 AM) tajmuhull: and camp grounds (3:38:26 AM) tajmuhull: but in town. there's lots of tourist stuff (3:38:43 AM) tajmuhull: like mini-golf and indoor skydiving. a china bizzare (3:38:52 AM) tajmuhull: that's where dollywood is (3:38:55 AM) tajmuhull: hahaha (3:39:19 AM) casperhowls: dollywood? (3:39:42 AM) tajmuhull: some country singer lady, famous. made her own theme park. (3:39:50 AM) tajmuhull: used to be Silver Dollar City (3:39:55 AM) tajmuhull: now it's Dollywood (3:40:06 AM) tajmuhull: Dolly parton was her name (3:40:09 AM) tajmuhull: is her name (3:40:17 AM) tajmuhull: not that I like country really (3:40:20 AM) tajmuhull: lol (3:40:34 AM) tajmuhull: but I like the mountains (3:40:50 AM) casperhowls: we should leave tonight (3:40:54 AM) tajmuhull: yeah? (3:40:59 AM) tajmuhull: you really wanna? (3:41:36 AM) casperhowls: i know a place a few hours out of boston thats sort of on the way where we can sleep (3:42:53 AM) tajmuhull: yeah ok. I'll do it. Let me pack a couple bags and text my brothers. And we're outtie (3:43:17 AM) casperhowls: okay (3:51:49 AM) tajmuhull: hmm. do you care if we take the cats? (3:52:13 AM) casperhowls: why would we take your cats? (3:52:38 AM) tajmuhull: idk. don't worry. whenever I go out of town for work my bros handle it. (3:52:45 AM) tajmuhull: they'll deal with it (3:53:22 AM) casperhowls: i guess you can bring them if you want to (3:53:47 AM) tajmuhull: naw it's cool. Chess and Andy always do it (3:53:56 AM) tajmuhull: they just usually get a days notice (3:53:58 AM) tajmuhull: they'll live (4:02:53 AM) tajmuhull: ok messages sent (4:03:02 AM) tajmuhull: bags are being packed as we speak (4:09:19 AM) casperhowls: :-) (4:13:42 AM) tajmuhull: I'm going to send you an MP3 file. it's me. singing. just kinda want you to hear it right now. I'm gonna feed the cats real quick before I head out....er... you want to come here? or should I pick you up? ((http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pJ60PSVUww)) (4:14:47 AM) casperhowls: could you pick me up? (4:15:00 AM) tajmuhull: of course. (4:15:13 AM) tajmuhull: I dont think you ever told me exactly where your building was tho (4:16:38 AM) casperhowls: -insert address of abandoned office warehouse here- (4:17:44 AM) tajmuhull: cool. I'm just making sure everything's turned off and stuff (4:18:37 AM) casperhowls: thank you (4:22:13 AM) tajmuhull: omg. tell me you like ribs and wings and bbq? (4:22:36 AM) casperhowls: yes (4:23:08 AM) tajmuhull: we're making it there just in time for their annual ribfest right in the streets (4:23:22 AM) tajmuhull: cha ching (4:23:32 AM) casperhowls: cha ching? (4:24:06 AM) tajmuhull: that's like, money in your pocket? only it doesn't have to mean literal money.. just something you're really happy about getting (4:25:18 AM) casperhowls: oh okay (4:25:32 AM) tajmuhull: I love it when you make me explain stuff (4:25:34 AM) tajmuhull: lol (4:25:43 AM) casperhowls: why? (4:25:45 AM) tajmuhull: idk why. I just do. (4:25:48 AM) tajmuhull: it's (4:25:50 AM) tajmuhull: cute (4:26:25 AM) casperhowls: i can't find a suitable face thing (4:26:37 AM) tajmuhull: face thing? (4:26:51 AM) casperhowls: the little faces in the corner (4:27:20 AM) tajmuhull: are you talking about emoticons? (4:27:29 AM) tajmuhull: smiley faces? (4:27:40 AM) casperhowls: yes (4:28:05 AM) tajmuhull: oh casper. you know what else we're doing while we're gone (4:28:13 AM) tajmuhull: I'm teaching you more about that laptop (4:28:24 AM) tajmuhull: so you can post songs too on that forum (4:28:45 AM) tajmuhull: I think you need to learn to surf youtube (4:29:09 AM) tajmuhull: I don't know how you live without youtube (4:29:19 AM) tajmuhull: I'm a pampered guy or something (4:30:17 AM) casperhowls: pampered? (4:30:27 AM) tajmuhull: spoiled? (4:30:35 AM) casperhowls: oh (4:33:01 AM) tajmuhull: you know what else I wanna do (4:33:04 AM) tajmuhull: camp out (4:33:16 AM) tajmuhull: there's lot of campgrounds by the national park (4:33:27 AM) tajmuhull: have you ever slept in a tent? (4:33:49 AM) casperhowls: no but i've slept in the woods a lot (4:34:04 AM) tajmuhull: cool. (4:34:11 AM) tajmuhull: I like being in the woods (4:34:19 AM) casperhowls: me too (4:34:38 AM) tajmuhull: did you hear my file? (4:34:48 AM) casperhowls: yes (4:34:54 AM) tajmuhull: :) (4:35:01 AM) casperhowls: i like it (4:35:10 AM) casperhowls: a lot (4:35:31 AM) tajmuhull: good. don't delete that one (4:37:23 AM) casperhowls: ii wasn't going to (4:37:35 AM) casperhowls: im not even sure how to delete things (4:37:43 AM) tajmuhull: hahahahah. (4:38:03 AM) casperhowls: what? (4:38:23 AM) tajmuhull: maybe I won't teach you that one, just so you can never delete anything I give you (4:38:38 AM) casperhowls: okay (4:39:16 AM) tajmuhull: so what's this place like we're stopping first? (4:40:21 AM) casperhowls: i lived there for a few months before i moved here (4:40:32 AM) casperhowls: it's about three hours away (4:40:40 AM) tajmuhull: that's not bad (4:42:28 AM) casperhowls: it was nicer in winter (4:42:45 AM) tajmuhull: why (4:47:18 AM) casperhowls: because it snowed (4:47:41 AM) tajmuhull: :) - I want to be with you somewhere in the snow (4:47:57 AM) casperhowls: why? (4:49:50 AM) tajmuhull: because you talk about it alot. even the salt, reminded you of snow. I bet your eyes would get real happy when if you were in some for real. I'd like to see that. I'd travel as far as I had to to find snow just to see that (4:50:25 AM) casperhowls: i like the snow (4:50:48 AM) tajmuhull: I think I haven't seen you get to do a lot of things you like (4:51:04 AM) tajmuhull: I want to see you have those things (4:52:37 AM) casperhowls: will you let me know when you're on your way? I'll meet you out the front (4:53:01 AM) tajmuhull: I am on my way. I've been texting at red lights. haha. I'm so dangerous. (4:53:10 AM) tajmuhull: I'm not driving when i do it (4:53:40 AM) casperhowls: hey taj, just so you know we might have to stop a lot (4:53:49 AM) tajmuhull: what for? (4:54:14 AM) tajmuhull: there's some weird traffic thing going on. but I'm not far (4:54:20 AM) tajmuhull: but why? (4:54:37 AM) casperhowls: i sort of have control issues when it comes to cars...and planes. (4:54:51 AM) tajmuhull: control issues? (4:55:04 AM) casperhowls: my wolf gets nervous (4:55:46 AM) casperhowls: not being in control of movement (4:56:19 AM) tajmuhull: oh. well, that's ok. That's what rest stops are for right? we won't skip one (4:56:33 AM) tajmuhull: whenever you need baby. just say so (4:56:33 AM) casperhowls: so if i start growling at you or breaking your seats just let me out for five minutes (4:56:38 AM) tajmuhull: I'll pull over (4:56:42 AM) tajmuhull: oh. ok (4:56:42 AM) casperhowls: thank you (4:57:40 AM) casperhowls: i'll try not to hurt your car (4:58:06 AM) tajmuhull: yeah, ok. that'd be good. (4:59:31 AM) tajmuhull: hey (4:59:45 AM) tajmuhull: my job is like different than yours. are you gonna lose it? (4:59:57 AM) tajmuhull: did they get mad last time? (4:59:59 AM) tajmuhull: hahah (5:00:15 AM) tajmuhull: I'm a bad influence when it comes to your work (5:00:40 AM) casperhowls: they can't really get that mad. i'm technically not legally working there (5:00:48 AM) tajmuhull: oh? (5:01:22 AM) casperhowls: im not an american citizen. and im not on a payroll. they give me cash when i show up (5:01:30 AM) tajmuhull: ohhhhhhhhhhh (5:01:31 AM) casperhowls: no one else wanted the job i guess (5:01:38 AM) tajmuhull: gotcha. gotcha (5:02:05 AM) tajmuhull: hahaha. we're both on the run for this one then. you're just used to it (5:02:16 AM) tajmuhull: I like that (5:02:21 AM) tajmuhull: I feel like a fugitive (5:02:30 AM) tajmuhull: silly (5:02:36 AM) casperhowls: and that's a good thing? (5:02:46 AM) tajmuhull: for some reason yes. (5:02:50 AM) tajmuhull: I know why (5:03:14 AM) tajmuhull: because being a fugitive is like escaping from a prison. I think I need an escape (5:03:26 AM) casperhowls: am i jail breaking you (5:03:30 AM) casperhowls: ? (5:03:35 AM) tajmuhull: HAHAH. yeah maybe so (5:03:42 AM) casperhowls: will they be mad? (5:04:46 AM) tajmuhull: fuck em. i dont care. I just piss em off when they push me too much. Sometimes I think they're not really in control. I have em where I want them. yeah (5:05:23 AM) tajmuhull: see they know - if I get upset with them for not letting me do stuff, I do stuff to them (5:05:33 AM) tajmuhull: hehehe. they don't like that (5:05:42 AM) tajmuhull: and they don't know how to stop me (5:05:52 AM) casperhowls: what do you do? (5:11:24 AM) tajmuhull: ok. for example: one time, I was getting pissed off because they kept giving me boring jobs - and well - everyone who knows me, KNOWS bordom is the enemy. That's when I get in trouble. My mind wanders and plays games. So, it's really best for them to keep me entertained for work. I kept telling them the hotel jobs were not my cup of tea and they gave me another anyway. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YES, I debugged the security system as they asked, BUT... I also made sure all the automatic combinations were changed on all the guests' lock boxes and went into the computer system and changed everyone's key numbers and door numbers and put a stop hold on their bank account. And refused to fix it till they found something fun for me to do at work. I will and have gotten into government accessed only things. National security is what landed me in trouble. But see ... that's just it... anyone who can do that... they don't want to lose either (5:13:13 AM) tajmuhull: they really dont like messing with me. but I dont like their threats either (5:13:30 AM) tajmuhull: sometimes I worry they're really do something (5:54:03 AM) casperhowls: so you got in trouble for hacking into things and then got a job doing it? (5:59:30 AM) tajmuhull: yup (6:02:01 AM) tajmuhull: are you upset? I dont really tell people that completely (6:02:38 AM) tajmuhull: not that I mentioned complete specifics. Im kinda not allowed (6:11:09 AM) casperhowls: why would i be upset? (6:11:55 AM) tajmuhull: idk. sometimes I think people might not look at me the same if they realize I'm doing illegal stuff. even if I think it's funny. other people... er... dont (6:12:22 AM) casperhowls: i work illegally every day (6:12:28 AM) tajmuhull: true (6:12:34 AM) tajmuhull: but that's for survival (6:12:43 AM) tajmuhull: some people see it differently (6:12:54 AM) tajmuhull: I'm glad you dont (6:12:58 AM) tajmuhull: hahahaha (6:13:15 AM) casperhowls: did you get lost? (6:13:29 AM) tajmuhull: nope. I'm pulling up. (6:13:37 AM) tajmuhull: you ready? (6:14:06 AM) casperhowls: i just need to put the laptop in my bag. be down in a second (6:14:15 AM) tajmuhull: mk!!!!!!!