The Doorway: a panfandom game

Ah don't understand the general public. Ah Applied for a job at a market, since ah'm at wit's end, got said job then BAM fired cause ah had ta wear gloves. A coworker tried ta pull them off and touched me, but thankfully it was momentary and no harm was done. Ah feel awful and ah think ah'll try something else.

Filter: Xfolks of all versions, AUs' etc
Ah'll be the one ta apply ta SHIELD. Ah' can't do the real world well.

Before ah do so, does anyone want ta go on a bike ride with me? Ah need ta get out of the city for a few hours.

The most important thing Father's Day ever taught my children was that just because you tried doesn't mean that picture looks anything like a horse.

It was a lot like Mother's Day.

[ Filtered Private ]

Hungry already. Not surprising Grantaire wasn't very sustaining, but I couldn't visit again, not so soon. And James Bond! Took all my willpower to dash off before a goodnight kiss succeeded where so many villains have failed. But just because Hell's not watching - no, especially because Hell's not watching - doesn't mean I should drop caution to the wind and have a Renaissance of Crazy-Evil Georgie, 2.0. Not that I would, anyw I don't owe anyone anything, do I? I can do exactly as I please. And that's so strange after nearly two-thousand years of doing anything but that. No more damning virgins in their parents' basement! No more putting on ridiculous horns and wings! I can wear flats now!

Still, some things don't change. Better figure out where to start. I couldn't eat my neighbors before they ask for a cup of sugar.

[ /Filter ]

Hello! I was wondering if someone who's lived here longer than I have could advise me on which neighborhoods to avoid? I know Seattle like the back of my hand, but I'm still getting used to life in the Big Apple. I don't have any kind of super-strength or anything; I couldn't fend off a mugger unless using scouring witticisms. Can someone tell me which areas aren't safe for a lady on her own, please? Thanks so much.

I can't smoke inside, can I?

The only reason I know who Kristen Wiig is is because I walked in on my son watching that sophomoric obscenity she tried to pass off as a comedy.

I'd file a suit for defamation if my lawyer knew the difference between libel and liability.

You know, I was just walking around Fulton Street and the Seaport and I noticed a distinct lack of delicious frozen banana stands. I mean, maybe it's just because it's summer, but I'd sure love a nice frozen treat with some chocolate and nuts, wouldn't you all?

[Warded Private]

Maybe this is my chance to do it right. Bluth's Bananas with no family hands in the honey pot, no deals with Saddam and no dad to disappoint.

If anyone wants to know why I'm *beep*ed up, you just have to meet my mother.


http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/05/12/lucille-bluth-s-best-mothering-moments-in-arrested-development-video.html

Happy Mother's Day, mom. Burn in hell.

Goodbye reliable, good-paying, respected, face-paced career in medicine -- and hello to the uncertain, stress-filled, panicked world of freelance graphic design.

This is obviously the best decision I've ever made.

So. The big day's coming up.

And seeing as I'm a citizen of the real world and plan on exporting everything I've purchased back there with me - what's the form I file to get back all the sales tax I've been shelling out?

It's good to know that brothels still exist in this day, age and world. One even polite enough to let me sleep on the sofa until they kicked me out in the morning. Cheers to those lovely ladies and gents.

I don't understand the concept of March Madness. Why do people care about such a boring sport?

Nice of them to beef up security the day after the entire city's swamped with neckbearded hooligans. Where were they yesterday, when I couldn't go outside without getting hit in the eye with someone's beer bong? Or last week, when that man with the saxophone followed me for an entire block and said he'd stop when I paid him?

Why the hell can't a person get a stun gun?

I KNOW WHERE NICK FURY LIVES!

Two things.

1) Any chance my wardrobe and my things will randomly show up here? Seriously, I can't just live here without my shoes.

2) OH MY GOD I'M ON TV.

So I splurged on myself and bought a ticket to see the band Dropkick Murphy's on the 12th at Terminal 5. Floor tickets so I'll be able to be in the thick of things. I feel this may have been my best purchase yet. Apparently this is a great live band. So I'm excited.

WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF ROOM ASSIGNMENTS???

I DEMAND SOMEONE GET THIS INSANE JERK OUT OF MY ROOM!!!

Filtered to: Lucille Bluth

Oh hey mom, how are you? I'm sure you're looking gorgeous. Did you have something tucked? Or lifted? Shaped?

Anyway, I was just wondering if you would be you know, like to have me over to stay on your couch for a while.

No reason.

And for this Valentine's Day, I will perform....

AN ILLUSION!!

That's right, tonight only you will see me escape from the Bonds---OF LOVE! Well, actually they are just chains and fuzzy handcuffs but the metaphor is still there.

DON'T BE THE LOSER WHO MISSES THIS!!

The last time my husband got me chocolate for Valentine's Day, I gave his Aston Martin to the valet at the movie theater.

Hold out for jewelry, girls.

Your ancestors dealt with such onslaughts of snow with less fuss than this advanced civilisation does today.

It's good. It's

Oh crap, it's my 35th birthday tomorrow, isn't it.

I'm starting to think that the laundry service across from my apartment is a mob front.

Either that, or they just deal primarily with huge Eastern European guys who dress like Tony Montana.