February 2020




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Jul. 23rd, 2018


Okay, I still don't like this, and I still don't approve of leaving home. But I have been told that this is the best method to work out what is what.

I'm Parker. I don't like this. But I'm here.

Who knows how to run a business? I need tips.

Jul. 20th, 2018


I can't find any Boo Berry around here, and Amazon.com says it's unavailable, what the shit is that??

Jul. 19th, 2018


There's apparently a website with themed teas and I have my own tea. I'm a little curious to see how I taste. Julia, I bought your tea since we come as a two pack. Apparently our teas have hooked up.

Jul. 5th, 2018


Don't assassinate anyone today.

I forgot people made so much colourful food in America.

Jul. 4th, 2018


So I got myself in a pickle here. I need to get a job, but I ain't ever had a straight job. I used to be a criminal. Not anymore, no no sir.

But say someone was looking for a job and they had those skills, what would they do?

Jul. 2nd, 2018


Told this is how we're supposed to introduce ourselves. Eliot. Not a fan.

Jul. 1st, 2018


I have so many pictures from all my amazing adventures now, so I feel somewhat accomplished. I have now obtained a unicorn onesie or three. I look totes adorbs in it. Even if I can only bear to wear it for a little while. These would have been PERFECT back home, but alas. I guess I should get used to whatever's going to be coolest and stare wistfully at other things.

Jun. 30th, 2018


No, I left Texas. Those aliens must have put me back in the wrong spot.