February 2020




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Sep. 21st, 2018


So who's still affected by curses? And is there anything I can do? Like bring you bird seed or go to the butcher shop for animal leftovers? Maybe you need buckets for all those pearls?

Sep. 19th, 2018


Beer's not helping this migraine. Who's got something stronger?

[DC TV: Legends/Supergirl]

Yeah, okay. Now I remember a wedding... and a giant blue thing.

Sep. 18th, 2018


Being ten foot tall is wrecking my game, dude. I thought being 5'8" was a killer for some guys, but no. People scream and holler, and I think I just got fired from my job. No more old school vagina tools for me. Also sleeping in the BARN is getting hella old.


Hello all! Just checking in to see if I've missed anyone that required my assistance.

If you know a person that is cursed to a dreamless sleep and I haven't already left you supplies, instructions, and hooked up IVs and monitors for you, please do let me know and I'll come fix that. I'm also completely willing to look after them at Bureau in our medical wing if there will be a problem caring for them at home.

The morgue is available to those that are decaying to help slow down the process. I also have a room at my home set to freezer temperatures, courtesy of a very helpful mediwitch, so I will make that available to anyone that needs it.

Those that are transforming into animals for half of the day, Liv Moore would like to come see you and help make sure that everything is normal for the animal you've become. Please don't be a horse about it, she's only trying to look out for you.

Incorporeal beings, if you need anything done that you can't do right now, please don't hesitate to reach out.

And...I think that's it! If you need help, just say the word. I'm sleeping for a week straight after thi-

Thank you for the assistance with the teleportation. Not my favorite method of getting around, but the coolest by far. I owe you one.


Cool how it's the second week of school and half the teachers are already out with fairy curses. I guess this is easier than public school. Even though I'm fine. Not that I'm complaining but it feels like with the number of people they screwed it would have been easier to just get everyone instead of picking and choosing.

Sep. 8th, 2018


Who the hell buys the entire stock of carrot cake from the nearest bakery?!

Sep. 5th, 2018


So as you saw on CNN, there's a situation in Paraguay. It does resemble the attack on the Fort Neill base in the last 90's. The Bureau is looking into official channels to speak with anyone on the base or anyone with any knowledge of the base. This is a very precarious situation due to an international military being involved. Please do not attempt something on your own; you could jeopardize what we're trying to do.

The Bureau will keep you as updated as we can.

We'll reach out when there is a need for assistance.

Can you guys be on call in case we need backup at the Bureau?

We don't know how many people might end up needing to go. We don't know if we're going to be attacked again, but I'd like to make sure we have people on our side. Those of you with bigger powers — looking at you Danvers — may end up stationed at exits just in case it gets by everyone else. If you've got suggestions for others, let me know.
We're working on negotiations to get down to Paraguay to see if we can get inside that building, take a look at the fresh scene and what it looks like. I'm not going to lie, if it's anything like the aftermath we found here, it's going to be a bloody mess. If your stomach's a little on the light side, let me know. Do not compromise this by whining. I will not hesitate to fire you if that happens.

Anyone with computer experience, I'd like to get you all working on grabbing every image, video, and audio leak we can find. More than that, I want to look into other potential military bases getting hit with strange and sudden shut downs. I want all of them, even if they've been decommissioned in a property ceremony.
I'm probably going to need a raincheck on that vacation.


[Filtered to Avengers and FNRB]
Anyone else get that CNN push notif?

Sep. 4th, 2018


Favorite snack foods, go.

Hey, what do I do to go about getting guardianship over a minor around here? Hers got sent back recently.

Also, did you know Reduced Fat Cheese Cheeto Puffs existed? What's even the point?

Aug. 28th, 2018


Can rats eat popcorn?

I know they can but you know.

Aug. 24th, 2018


Good afternoon. My name is Jim Rhodes and I help Tony Stark look after Peter Parker, who I believe you know as Henry's friend. The three of us are planning a trip out to California this weekend and we were wondering if Henry would like to join us so that Peter has company his own age?

Unfortunately, teenagers think they're too cool to hang out with old men like Tony and I.

[*ooc; This part of the post is backdated to 8/22.]

Black Ops Group! )

You got me Balam Komarov. He's the one loose end that I want to take out, before I give this a rest.

You in?

Aug. 22nd, 2018


[Filtered to friends]
With the cartoon stuff over, what do you all say to coming over tonight for pizza and potstickers?
[if you're not sure, just check with me :) ]

Aug. 20th, 2018


Note to self: I am never ever doing pet surveillance. I will not watch you dog while you're at work because you suspect he is up to no good. And telling you no doesn't make me a shitty detective either.

Seriously, poll guys. How many of you wonder what your pets are up to while you're at work? Lots of us, right? How many people would hire someone to tail their dog? If anyone of you answer that they would, I would like to suggest that you seek some help for your unhealthy obsession with your pet.

Aug. 1st, 2018


Leaving again. I might be gone a bit longer this time. See you when I get back.

We'll touch base at the Facility, get a chance to find out what we're each capable of and start planning from there. See you soon.

Jul. 31st, 2018


Goddamn memor So who wants to hit me?

Jul. 27th, 2018


Back in town. Shoulda just stayed in Mexico.

[Legends (Sara Lance, Gideon)]
Boss, got two bottles of Tequila with your name on it and some art thing for you, Gideon. The kid picked it out. How's my stuff?

[Jane/Eleven & Selina Kyle]
Jane, you know the drill. Selina's got your stuff. The hat's from me.

Jul. 26th, 2018


Someone, anyone, help me find something to do to stay away from the bar?

And I do mean literally anything.

Jul. 17th, 2018


Laurel Lance was one of the people sent back.


When TSA tells you to get rid of your drink before passing through security, apparently chugging it isn't on the list of approved options from the collective expressions.

Coffee. Espresso. Don't care, need it.

Jul. 16th, 2018



Jul. 15th, 2018


sent to the black ops recruits* )

filtered to black ops group )

Jul. 13th, 2018


Spy types, roll call part 2.

Jul. 11th, 2018



Headed out of town for a few days. I'll be in touch when I can, otherwise see you when I get back.

Jul. 3rd, 2018


[Voice to Text]
You might've remembered the last time I wrote, I was complaining about a case I was assigned by the City. I didn't have to ask to be reassigned since I ended up leaving the town's law department to start my own private practice with Laurel and Harvey (and if that combination of names doesn't make you laugh, then you need to watch some old comedies). The case was turned over to somebody else, and I just heard that the guy decided to plead guilty to the charges.



Hi. My name is Sara Lance.

Got some time to talk space ships?

Jul. 2nd, 2018


Okay, ow. I know the memory dumps are supposed to be bad, but that was more intense than I expected.

Jun. 30th, 2018


WHO: The Invited
WHEN: June 30th, 2018 - 5 AM
WHERE: Undisclosed Location
WHAT: Those that showed an interest in the black ops group. The Facility

The location that the group was invited to was a clearing in middle of Miller's Woods. )

Jun. 29th, 2018


While I am about to embark upon my own search for a job, I am curious to know what others have come to do here and how it relates to what you did previously, in your own worlds and timelines.

Jun. 26th, 2018


I think one of the most fascinating things about humans is that even when they feel they are utterly finished with something, it makes its way to a store where someone else may find it and use it in their own lives. The sheer persistence of the existence of humans and their creations is astounding.

[Mr. Rory]
I believe I have found what you are looking for.

Jun. 25th, 2018


Getting turned into a deer to be hunted for sport and having to run for my life was not how I wanted to spend my night yesterday.


There was a bridge troll telling people not to cross its bridge and picking fights with those who didn't like being told what to do, right?

Because that was fun.

Jun. 24th, 2018


[Filtered Away from Mia]

My heart unto yours is knit
So that but one heart we can make of it;
Two bosoms interchained with an oath;
So then two bosoms and a single troth.

Do you guys think she'll like it?

Jun. 20th, 2018


There is not enough alcohol to make me forget the video today's case came up with.

So a local couple in town. Going through a divorce. Fairly typically stuff, I'm thinking, when the wife comes in. Open and shut case, he's cheating. She wants money shots for the court case.


She suspects that he's been putting some of of her things where the sun doesn't shine.

Trigger warning: Kind of gross. )

Jun. 12th, 2018


This one or this one?

Gaby, I'm stealing you once school is over for a road trip. I promised to show you America and I'm going to be a man of my word.

Jun. 11th, 2018


Sneaky spy types, roll call.

Jun. 10th, 2018


Today I learned spider blood is pale blue.

Jun. 8th, 2018



Apparently everyone wants to party, so here's what I'm doing. I've got a list of all the Pride celebrations this month. I'm going to hit up as many of the best ones as I can. $35 and you can hitch a ride, preferred payment is cash or venmo but I'm flexible.

Rule 1 is don't make me do any extra work.

Dates and places )

Jun. 6th, 2018


Dammit. How long was I gone on this end?

May. 31st, 2018


The ball completely snuck up on me and I forgot to buy a dress. Anyone else want to do some super last-minute shopping with me tomorrow?

May. 29th, 2018


Anyone have suggestions for best places to apply for work around here for someone who's resume mostly involves fighting, time travel, and alien invasions? The Bureau, maybe?

Burgers, fries, milkshakes and movies?

May. 28th, 2018


While I realize that many people here already know how to fight, there may be some who are looking to learn new skills. I am teaching sambo at Howlett Gym. If you have never heard of sambo, it is the Russian martial art. I am 1953 Soviet champion. Mostly sambo is learning how to disarm another person, to get them to the ground and subdue them. Very effective self-defense.

This video has some good examples of sambo techniques. If you are interested in the class or want to learn more, do not hesitate to ask.

Filtered to TMFU
Did you see the car that the portal gave me?

cut for image )

Do you think that all three of us can fit into it?

May. 24th, 2018


Man, everyone is getting stuff from the portal. My birthday was two days ago and I didn't get anything. Whatever, portal. WHATEVER.

May. 22nd, 2018


I must have been a good girl, because our benevolent portal overlord has seen fit to bestow upon me a beautiful set of wheels in just my color.

photograph attached )


Right, so I guess I'm just going to be dealing with this now.

I'm Sara. Where's the best place to get a drink around here?