February 2020




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Feb. 23rd, 2020


I do hope everyone is back safe at this point.

I'm going to DoorDash you coffee and dinner. What would you like?

Feb. 9th, 2020


Since there's more than enough new blood around here...

My name is Marina Andrieski. I own the club Carpe Noctem. We don't do free drinks, but the atmosphere more than makes up for it. Now, I'm looking for people to work for me. Bartenders, waiters/waitresses, and bouncers. We're open Wednesday-Sunday from 9:30pm-2am. If you're closing or opening, the hours might vary a little.

I'm not going to sit here and hold your hand, but I have staff to train you on what to do and what the drill is. Please note that if you're not comfortable with BDSM, you might want to check somewhere else. If you're interested, you can comment here. Public or private. Whatever's more your speed. If you're not interested in work, but interested in what we have to offer, feel free to stop by the club. Mind the forest and the unusual creatures.

[Tony Stark (MCU)]
Not now, but later, I have a job for you. For now, I have to go check out this magic group at the bureau. Since apparently Penny's entire sex life depends on it.

Also I have the coins that should help us figure out the Stoppard Cube, but I think that might have to wait till everything calms down, too.

Feb. 8th, 2020


texts →marina a./penny a.

[texts →marina a./penny a.]
» I swear to god
» I need you

Jan. 29th, 2020


Hey. You want to get a drink?

Jan. 10th, 2020


I'm pretty sure there's a very special place in hell for people who hack other people's phones and change alarms and ringtones to HUMAN-LIKE SCREAMING GOATS for fun.

I will get you back.

Jan. 5th, 2020



Someone open up a portal to a goat dimension? I've got whatever the word for a shitload of goats is fraternizing with my alpaca and fertilizing my driveway.

Dec. 6th, 2019


If Holland was here, he'd I don't

I'm just going to go out and say it. These movies are weird. It's one thing to know there's some sappy weirdo girl with my face in a show about Hannibal Lecter. It's another to have someone with my name in a weird Christmas movie. Absolutely not. I'm ready for New Years Eve already.

Nov. 25th, 2019


(006) Penny 23

Feels a little like we're going though 'see no evil, do hear no evil, speak no evil'.

Think this is something to be worried about? It's hard to tell sometimes.

[Physical Kids Cottage/Magicians types]
We got food stuff for later in the week or should I figure out curries?

Sep. 29th, 2018


Oh thank fucking god. Julia, I'll be back. I need to go fuck something up do something.

[Julia Wicker]
Unless you're in the mood to fuck something up that probably won't get us arrested. Maybe.

Sep. 25th, 2018


I need a headcount on who is still cursed and who isn't. Especially you, Fort Neill.

Sep. 24th, 2018


Desiccation of faeries feels like a reasonable response the next time I run into faeries on that level of asshole.

Sep. 23rd, 2018


Would you prefer I reside somewhere else tomorrow evening?

Are you solid yet?

Sep. 19th, 2018


voice to text

On the plus side, I can jump scare people now. It's too easy, but it's something.

[Voice to text: Ethan Chandler]
I can't even drink to make this more interesting. That is perhaps the most tragic part of this whole situation. This is what I imagine cabin fever must be like.

It's fucking boring as shit.

Sep. 18th, 2018


WHO: Marina Andrieski & Ethan Chandler
WHERE: His room
WHEN: August 13 after this
WHAT: Drinking adventures
WARNINGS: I don’t think so??
STATUS: Complete in gdocs

Or we could each take a bottle and see who can drink more than the other and you will probably win, but I will put up an impressive fight and then you can sleep on the floor )


WHO: Marina Andrieski & Holland Vosijk
WHERE: Near the library
WHAT: Marina’s attempts at avoidance go sideways
WARNINGS: I don’t think so??
STATUS: Complete in gdocs

You’re a terrible liar’ )

Sep. 16th, 2018


Hello there! I'm Dr. Chakrabarti. While I'm relatively new here and it's a Sunday morning after a ridiculous event, I highly urge anyone that went to the ball yesterday to come in for an once over, even if you were not injured or otherwise affected by last night's events. You may be asymptomatic or may not realize something's off.

Also, it'll give me a chance to get to know everyone here and give me a baseline to work off, in case something in the future happens where you need a doctor in your life. I've been told that people are skittish about blood draws around here, so rest assured, I'll only be doing that and any tests only if you consent to them. You should be getting checked up yearly anyway, so you might as well get it done now. Added bonus: you get to talk to me and I absolutely think I'm hilarious company.

I'll be down at the Bureau's medical wing all day today, so feel free to call in ahead of time to see how long, short, or non-existent the queue is so you're not waiting around forever. And if you like waiting, bring a book! I recommend Crazy Rich Asians for a fun read. I devoured that and the rest of the books in its series within a week.

EDIT: So far it looks like that people have been affected by the fairies. Things we are seeing so far: Tinkerbellism (Approximately six inches tall), going giant, spewing out the truth, and transforming into animals (wolf, horse, and bird). Possibly a coma like sleep as well, still looking into those cases. Vomiting pearls when trying to speak. Intangibility. Decaying - Those of you suffering from this one, I highly recommend finding a large freezer and sitting in it immediately. Or anyone with ice powers that can cool you down. At the very least, put those ACs to use asap. Mutism.

If you believe you can assist with any of these things, please find the person afflicted on this post and offer your help.

EDIT 2: If there are any animal specialists available, we may have some people that might appreciate you looking them over. Also, any psychologists or therapists being on standby would be appreciated.

Sep. 14th, 2018


Event: Unseelie Court Ball

WHO: The Displaced and a bunch of fairies.
WHEN: From midnight until 6am. Technically early Sunday morning.
WHERE: Another dimension
WHAT: The Unseelie Court invites you to a ball. (Make sure to tag your characters as you add them). Masks arrived shortly after the Abducted were taken the prior night.

Welcome, welcome! )


post faerie kidnap times

Well, this has been some bullshit.

[Magicians + Tony Stark the elder]
Just so you all know, Julia's gone. Considering she disappeared in a swarm of hummingbirds, I'm assuming this is faerie bullshit.

So yeah. I'm voting we destroy some fucking faeries.

Sep. 8th, 2018


Who the hell buys the entire stock of carrot cake from the nearest bakery?!

Aug. 23rd, 2018


Vex is gone.

Still open for business.

That's all I got.

Aug. 20th, 2018


How do you get rid of a cartoon light bulb over your head? It only shows up from time to time, but it's really damn annoying. People keep asking me what my idea is, and if you know the clientele of Needful Things, then you know how they like to sit and talk at you for hours.

Aug. 18th, 2018


WHO: Marina Andrieski & Justice of Toren
WHERE: Coffee shop in New York
WHEN: Backdated to July 21
WHAT: Getting coffee and talking
WARNINGS: Mentions of death and Marina being Marina
STATUS: Complete in gdocs

If you understand people, you might care for them’ )

Aug. 17th, 2018


WHO: Marina Andrieski & Holland Vosijk
WHERE: Charlotte’s house
WHEN: August 14, post this
WHAT: Holland and Marina continue to be bad at peopleing
WARNINGS: Not really
STATUS: Complete in gdocs

I socialize with a lot of people. It doesn’t make them my friends )

Aug. 14th, 2018


I was far too hungover for this when I initially woke up, but if I am subjected to this absolute ridiculousness, well [...] I'd say this was because you threw a blanket at my head for laughing, but I'd have done this anyway.

not an ic cut )

So is this going to be a thing?

Aug. 13th, 2018


[Ethan Chandler]
Do you have plans for later? And what's your preferred alcohol? Which is to say, can I bribe you with alcohol because I'm basically intending to bribe you with alcohol right now.

Aug. 2nd, 2018


So I walked outside and was greeted by an unfamiliar site.

not an ic cut )

I was going to leave it alone, but it just seemed so pitiful and kept meowing, so I got food on the way back from getting my coffee.

[trigger warning: mention of animal/pet death in the comments]

Jul. 28th, 2018


I'm Eliot. I understand you've already met someone who shares a strong resemblance in name, face, and hopefully an excellent taste in vests and alcoholic beverages. Some of you have been here for some time, and I am hoping you can help me.

This isn't my first time being pulled into another world, or my second, or even third, or forth, and so on. Some of you have also been pulled into other worlds which may or may not have been purgatory like before ending up here. I'm trying to get some information on my friends? They might have mentioned a Hell Hotel? Hotel Kairos?

Paul Rovia, aka Jesus
Claire Novak
Gretel (yes, that one)
Judith Grimes
Rowena Ravenclaw
Godric Gryffindor

Just looking to see if anyone else made it out. Any information you might have would be deeply appreciated.

[Eliot's Homeworld(s)]
So, hello. I've just spent the last two years in a semi-sentient, murderous hotel. How're things?

[Quentin Coldwater]
Jesus fuck, Q. Except not literally. Are you my Q? Were you at the hotel? Please tell me you made it out, too. I'm still in quarantine.

[Margo Hanson]

Jul. 20th, 2018


Greetings from Zimbabwe. )

Jul. 19th, 2018


There's apparently a website with themed teas and I have my own tea. I'm a little curious to see how I taste. Julia, I bought your tea since we come as a two pack. Apparently our teas have hooked up.


To whichever one of you perverts that left the Hulk shaped adult toy behind - come to lost and found at Carpe Noctem. Additionally, there are three wallets, clothing, and a set of keys that haven't been claimed yet.

I hear you're a shark. Have I been misinformed or am I going to be hiring you at the end of this conversation?

Jul. 16th, 2018


WHO: Holland Vosijk & Marina Andrieski
WHAT: Random run-in by the river
WHEN: Today, late afternoon
WHERE: Next to the river
WARNINGS: I don't.... think there are any?

... )


[FILTER: Carpe Noctem Staff + Phèdre]
Vex and Kenzi,

May I introduce you to my dear new friend and recent tenant, Miss Phèdre nó Delaunay de Montrève? I believe she has a special skill set you would find most beneficial to your establishment. I will let her speak to her qualifications.

I would also be happy to arrange a meeting in person, whether at the club for your convenience or my home for your comfort.


Jul. 15th, 2018


Napoleon, since you insist on following me everywhere I go with this international marketing campaign, some thoughts:

1. I'm pretty sure Gillette paid for that mustache.
2. If you can punch the air and make that noise I will pay you five whole dollars per fist to see it.

Edit: If you would like to see Napoleon attempt to punch the air and make sound effect noises, ten dollar minimum buy in. Proceeds go to a local no kill animal shelter. Comment to leave your pledge.

Jul. 14th, 2018


We've got a potential solution. Julia, when can you get here?

We've come up with a possible solution. Once it's tested, I'll let you all know. Figured you'd want the update.

Hi. My name is Alice Quinn. We've not spoken.

Myself and my associates have been working to try to reverse the transformations that were caused by the fruit you found. We're testing it soon but if it works, would you like one of us to come to you and help the effects be reversed? Do you know of anyone else who has been affected or that took the berries from you? I've already been in touch with Pidge, Hunk, Keith and Julia.

Jul. 12th, 2018


[Tony Stark (904913)]
I’m not going to be at work today. Maybe tomorrow. I’ll keep you posted.

Can you handle class tonight with Pixie? I have a minor situation. Don’t eat the blackberries I brought home.

(OOC Note: There will be an IC/OOC post for the magic class being taught that covers the whole month of July so that those who participate know what their characters are studying. Look for that post closer to this weekend.)

[Tony Stark (MCU)]
I'm not going to make it tonight. Rain check?


You get anything out of Alice? Or should I go in guns blazing?
I'm going to be heading out of town soon to help stop some poachers. I'm planning on researching the hell out of some warding spells to protect those elephants, but I'm willing to take any suggestions.

Jul. 11th, 2018


Greetings, people citize citizens and fellow visitors to this planet Earth. My name is Seivarden Vendaai, and I am from the Provisional Republic of Two Systems.

I've never been to this planet before, and your hospitality is appreciated. My thanks to Steve for the gloves and clothes, and to Michael, for the paperwork and the ride. I look forward to meeting the rest of you. You may have already met my captain and friend, Breq, who arrived here a few days ago.

Jul. 10th, 2018


A questionable thanks to whoever bestowed me with an added boost to my ego yesterday. Not that I have trouble with my ego, though. I got a lot of tips because of it, though. Can't really complain about that. Even though I don't actually need the money right now, but

[Julia Wicker]
I'll take the spells off the books. Since we're teaching people. Or maybe I'll just go with one book when necessary. I still have my files, too. We'll look through and see what'll be useful, I guess.

[Ethan Chandler]
And thank you for assisting me yesterday with Roman hands and Russian fingers personified.

Jul. 2nd, 2018


[Filter: Magic Users]
Those of you interested in learning the wandless casting style from my world, I'm going to offer free classes every Tuesday and Thursday starting next week, from 3:00pm to 4:30pm at [location*]. It'll start basic, mostly to help some of you get hand gestures down who haven't used them before.

(*The location is not rented out, but something abandoned that will be magically warded to keep from being seen or heard from the outside. They're free classes, people. She's not spending money on this.)

Jun. 30th, 2018


Thank you to all that came out to support my humble little club last night. And, of course, all my thanks to my hardworking staff that made last night possible.

My darling Kenzi and I will be holding more interviews in the coming weeks as we're still hiring for wait staff and bartending positions. Message one of us if you're interested.

And you seemed very much in your element last night in some of our more private rooms. Any interest in a position with us? I pay handsomely.

Jun. 24th, 2018


The more I see of this planet, the less I like it.

Gamora told me I should talk to you about a job.

Jun. 21st, 2018


This town is too punny.

Waves, you'll be happy to know I got a job finally. I won't be mooching off you anymore. You're looking at a cashier/stock/sales rep for Needful Things. Something fishy about the guy who runs it. People say he practically gives things away. Not sure if I hope they're cursed or not. Figured it'd be a good place to keep an eye on things, and hey get paid for it too.

Jun. 8th, 2018


Who's an Earp gotta screw around here to get a job that isn't boring as fuck? It's not that I want one, I just really don't want one. I've been a waitress, bartender, secret agent against demons, and a stripper! I'll tell you right now, I make a shitty bartender. I drink more than I sell.

Jun. 4th, 2018


Because of the absolutely dismal state of the club scene in Nowhere, Texas, I've taken it upon myself to acquire funding for something a little different the 21+ crowd.

Carpe Noctem is in the process of opening on June 29th, the last Friday of this month. I am hiring a full staff and will be in need of licensed bartenders, waitresses, and professional dominatrices. I will also be requiring a few bouncers and DJs. I'll be hosting interviews over the next two weeks, so if you're looking for something new to do and are 21 and over, contact me.

Are we at the forgive and forget portion of our friendship yet? Because I'd like you to be my manager.

Jun. 3rd, 2018


netpost: sunday evening

[There is zero context given to the video Julia has posted to the displaced network. It appears to be vertically filmed cell phone footage of older Tony Stark shaving his goatee to this song. Tony's voice can barely be heard over the audio, but Julia added subtitles: "There's a very real possibility that underneath this is just another beard." She's trying to hold in her snickers behind the camera.]

ooc: for out of character context, look here.

May. 30th, 2018


Today's definitely looking up. I mean, it could always improve, but whatever. Also watching Netflix has gotten boring, so if anyone has ideas of how to have fun that don't involve sparring or workout routines, I could use a distraction and the company.

Texts to Julia Wicker )

May. 20th, 2018


So actual multiverse weirdness or is this the crappiest version of Valhalla to ever exist?

Because I've gotta say, the welcome wagon for fallen warriors needs significant improvement. Maybe trade up actual shots for the tequila variety. Don't throw people through doors when they get here, oh mysterious forces. Be better greeters.

Is there coffee? Someone tell me there's coffee.

May. 13th, 2018


I don't know if you've seen what's been happening on the net? I don't have my magic right now so I'm staying with a friend for the time being. Just FYI. You okay?

May. 7th, 2018


I'd like to issue a warning for anyone who comes into contact with Holland Vosijk. He's a dangerous magician who, in the past, has endeavored to kill me, my family, and destroy my world. Please be wary of the information you provide him with.


Gansey had been speaking to Holland, and it concerns me.

May. 3rd, 2018


who: Marina Andrieski & Julia Wicker
when: Monday April 16
where: Around Tumbleweed
What: Looking for Marina’s safehouse
warnings: Season 3 spoilers & mentions of sexual assault and murder
status: COMPLETE.

Magic was never about happy feelings and all that happy-go-lucky Harry Potter bullshit. )

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