February 2020




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May. 30th, 2018


So inventing job titles. That is a viable career option here?

I cannot imagine "colognoisseur" actually pays anything.

May. 22nd, 2018


I must have been a good girl, because our benevolent portal overlord has seen fit to bestow upon me a beautiful set of wheels in just my color.

photograph attached )


Who decided humidity had to be an actual thing? What purpose does it serve? Does it even help anything out? Even the animals are miserable with it.

Aren't there people here who can make it go away?

Why don't you make it go away?

May. 14th, 2018


I need a new show to binge watch. Real Housewives can only get me so far.

May. 9th, 2018


I've been a bit of a hermit since I've gotten here. Or really, I blame settling into a new place.

Anyway, I am in desperate need of some new friends, since I can't just hang around my sister, her kids, and her boyfriend all the time, as great as they are.

What's a good place to get a couple of drinks around here? Because what says new friends like getting drunk together? Or not getting drunk, whatever anyone's up to.

May. 3rd, 2018


Although I have no need for money at all, I've decided that it is in my bests interests as a Growing Janet to take on a job of some kind. Is anyone in need of someone that can do anything, knows everything, and can instantaneously manifest anything that they may need? I'd be happy to offer my services and take your money.

[Brooke and Eleanor]

Hello! As my friends, I feel it's only right that I inform you that I am going on strike. As a Janet on the road to being More Than a Janet, I can no longer set aside my personal growth in order to serve and help others. To quote the Good Place's own Stevie Nicks: "I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too.*"

I hope that I have your support me in my endeavor.

*Note that, in this context, 'my life' is referring to my existence, from activation onward, 'you' is referring to everyone in the universe, 'time' is referring to Michael's relentless determination to make his torture experiment work, resulting in my being murdered and reset 802 times, and that, as I am technically immortal and therefore I do not age, I am truly only 'getting older' chronologically.

Apr. 21st, 2018


I don't remember getting in the lifeb

Did Flynn spike my beer

This makes no sense. If time was changed, then I shouldn't remember

So I get different dimensions. Alternate timelines. I remember the — portal. Blue light, getting shoved out of it into a hallway.

Is there some sort of point to all of this? Are we working on getting back to our timelines? Has anyone heard of Rittenh