The Doctor (12) (twelfth_doctor) wrote in thedisplaced, @ 2020-05-23 20:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log/thread, doctor (12), river song |
WHO: River Song and the Doctor (Twelve)
WHEN: April, the last remaining days of the space cruise
WHERE: The space ship's tea garden
WHAT: Fluff
TRIGGERS: None
“Better soak it up. When we eventually get back to Tumbleweed, the furthest we’ll be able to get out into space is the Earth’s moon. And it’s not even a fun moon. No giant egg from an enormous dragon. It’s a cold, dead, boring chunk of rock.”
The Doctor and River were sitting in the ship’s tea garden. Well, the Doctor wasn’t so much sitting as he was lounging, slouched in his chair with his legs stretched out in a way that he was nearly horizontal. Fingers intertwined and casually resting upon his chest, his vision was cast upwards at the field of stars that stretched above them, the vast expanse of space. The drink he’d been sipping was left, forgotten on the table that separated the couple.
River loved the stars, maybe almost as much as the Doctor. They made her feel at home. Maybe it was because the only place she’d ever really settled down had been Darillium, so much of that time spent in unrelenting night. Or maybe it was simply something that came with being a Child of the TARDIS. And the view really was lovely. But she wasn’t watching the stars. She hadn’t been for a while.
Instead, she watched her husband lounging across from her. Her tea was still faintly warm between her palms, and she held it just a little more tightly. She had missed him.
“Tell me about it, Tumbleweed.” It was a soft request, curious but not insistent. “How long have you been there?”
Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor had noticed River watching him, but he chose not to react. What good would it do? He’d only spoil the mood, and right now he was enjoying River’s company far too much to do that.
“Pfffbt.” The Doctor huffed a breath of air past his lips to make a frustrated sound. “You know I’m bad at keeping track of these sorts of things.” That was the answer he usually gave when he was lazy, since it wasn’t that difficult. For River, he’d make the effort. After a thoughtful pause, he said, “Over three years now. Some days it feels longer, and at others it’s just a drop in the bucket. When I first arrived, it was just this little hole in the wall, Western town, but then we went on a cruise like this one, and when we got back, it had grown into a pretty decent sized, college town. Things are like that. In flux, always in flux.”
Nodding, she leaned back into her seat, apparently accepting his answer easily enough. She did know how terrible he was at keeping track. Linear time was always tricky for time travelers, even when they were staying still.
“How is that? Do you like it here?”
Partly, she wondered for his sake. She did, after all, still want him to be happy. As happy as the Doctor could ever be, at least. But she wondered for herself, too. This would be the only life she had left now, more or less.
It took a long moment before the Doctor responded, and when he did he was slow and careful with his words. “It’s not bad. Been in worse places. I think… the worst thing about being here is… that the Portal decides to take people away as randomly as they come. One minute, you’re with somebody, the next they’re gone without warning.”
For the first time since their conversation, the Doctor tilted his head in River’s direction to look fully at her features. He could still remember the feeling when she left the last time. Even though they’d parted before, it was something you never really got used to, and it still hurt. For a split second, he imagined River disappearing again, but even though it made him sad, it wasn’t an all-encompassing sadness that crippled his judgment and behavior the way loss would in the past. Instead, he found himself grateful for these stolen moments, and that emotion revealed itself clearly upon his facial features.
He turned away to stare at the stars again. “That, and I miss time travel. I’m allergic to linear movement.” To drive his statement home, as well as to hopefully make River laugh, he squirmed with his whole body, pretending to be entirely revolted.
“I see.” River knew perfectly well what waited for her when the Portal that brought her here decided to return her. Her time was already up. This, all of it, was an unexpected gift. And she was grateful in a way she didn’t know how to put into words that he was here to share it with her.
She allowed a gentle laugh at his next comment, even if she knew exactly what he was doing. Then she quietly held her hand out to him across the table, palm up. “I’ve missed you, you know?”
One glance over at River and her extended hand, and the Doctor’s chest swelled with emotion. Love. Pride. Joy. However, the only affection he chose to display was a soft, but warm smile. He raised his arm to place his hand in his wife, giving it a tender squeeze.
“I’d be terribly distressed if you didn’t,” he joked, further, then slowly blinked his eyes at her to show he was teasing. But just in case there wasn’t any misunderstanding, he quietly said, “I’ve missed you, too.”
Before things could escalade, the Doctor quickly changed the topic. “I think you’ll like it, Tumbleweed. You’ll be given a flat of your own, but you’re always welcome to stay in the TARDIS, naturally. There’s a school where I work at the caretaker, and another school just for people like us, from other universes. Also a college. Hey! Who knows? Maybe you can get a post there teaching? Archeology. That’ll be good for a chuckle, eh?”
She let him talk. There was so much she wanted to say, there always was, and it never seemed the right time. Now, especially, there were things they should probably talk about. But for the moment, she was content to simply be here with him, hold his hand and listen to him go on about the little town he’d been calling home the last few years.
“Maybe. I’ll certainly have to find something to occupy my time, but Earth archaeology…it's been a while since I had to remember to limit the scope of my lectures like that.” She didn’t sound upset, though. Whatever she decided, she'd work it out. And these days, she didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do, unless it was for the Doctor. Even then, one could usually argue she wanted to do it because it was for the Doctor.
But he’d mentioned something else. “You know I’d love to stay in the TARDIS. She’s as much a home to me as anywhere else.” She’d always shared a special connection to the time ship that rivaled even the Doctor's. When she was feeling her most affectionate, she liked to call the TARDIS her other mother. “Is it what you want, Sweetie?”
Every fiber of the Doctor’s being resounded yes, but he knew his wife’s personality. She was a woman in love, but one that also valued her freedom. So, the Doctor responded accordingly. “You’ll do whatever you want to do. It’s your nature. Even when you were supposedly locked up in prison, they couldn’t hold you.” He smiled as he thought back to the times he helped break her out for pleasure excursions.
“I will mention, my TARDIS has a new room since I came to Tumbleweed. It’s an exact replica of our home on Darillium, right down to the view outside the veranda. It’s pretty impressive, if I say so myself.”
Her hand tightened involuntarily around his at that information.
“Our room?” she asked softly, hoping it wasn’t as painfully obvious as it felt that she was trying to determine if he’d moved on since their twenty-four years together. She knew it must have been longer for him and now she also knew he’d known it was time for her to go to The Library. He’d known how and when she would die from the day he’d met her.
“I’ve been told I was here before. Or in Tumbleweed, at least.”
The Doctor could be pretty oblivious sometimes, but he would’ve had to be dead to miss River’s reaction. “Our room,” he repeated in a loving tone.
As he continued to speak, his hand remained holding River’s. “Yeah, you were. Actually, we were also together before Tumbleweed. We wound up being pulled into another alternative universe together, one where we were staying on a planet that wasn’t really a planet, but the literal severed skull of some enormous celestial being. Got to admit, that was pretty strange. It was called Knowhere… spelled K.. N… O… W.” He smiled to himself, recalling their adventures in both places.
A part of her was a little jealous of whatever alternate version of her, past or future or altogether different, who had gotten to share all those experiences with him. But that smile of his…she couldn’t help but smile too.
“I’m glad I was with you,” she said finally, honestly, “Even if I can’t remember it.”
She could never wish for him to be alone. River went quiet for a moment. She wanted to be nearer to him. Releasing his hand, she slid around next to him, laying a hand on his leg as she leaned against him slightly. “Sweetie, I want to come home.”
Knowing what must be going through River’s mind, the Doctor wanted to encourage her. “The way Tumbleweed is, we’ll have lots and lots more new adventures in store. This cruise is just the beginning.”
There was nothing more cozy in the universe than to have River close beside him. She had a way of making his hearts melt out of love. He placed his arm around her to draw her closer against his chest and inhaled deeply, taking in the fragrance of her hair, soothed by the sensation.
“You are home,” he murmured. Home was where she was in his embrace.
For maybe the first time since even before her arrival here, River fully relaxed as she rested against him. He was her home, her safe space. She closed her eyes with a soft hum of contentment. “I love you.”
She didn’t often say the words, neither of them did. Their ‘I hate yous’ were ‘I love yous.’ But she did love him, had loved him for so long now she’d almost forgotten what it felt like not to love him, and she didn’t know how many more chances she’d have to say it.
Now was not the time for quips or even playful banter. The Doctor was far too caught up in the moment to consider it. His fingers absentmindedly played through River’s curls, as wild as the woman herself. “I love you,” he responded, hoping that it didn’t sound like some automatic response made whenever somebody said those same words to you.
“I know.” She said it so quietly it would have been easy for anyone else to miss. Before Darillium, she hadn’t known. He’d given her enough reasons to doubt, but she’d had her own demons to work through as well. Now, she was as certain of his love for her as she was of hers for him.
They had so much more to talk about, but River hated to ruin the moment. “Let’s sit a bit longer.”