WHO: Rhy & Alucard Maresh WHAT: Celebrating their 2-year anniversary, rewatching old memories WHEN: March 1 (backdated) WHERE: Maresh Palace WARNINGS: Mentions of parental abuse, trauma, patricide (past & hypothetical future)
Two years.
Two years since Rhy had arrived through the portal, and, only a few hours after his arrival, gotten back together with Alucard. So his anniversary of being in this world was also their relationship anniversary. Not the anniversary of the first time they’d been together, nor of their wedding, but the beginning of this new life they’d formed. A new world, a new relationship, re-formed after having been torn apart. A significant day, and one well worth celebrating, every year.
It had been a lovely, full day with time spent on the ship, on the dance floor, out to dinner. Now they were back in bed at the palace, and had been here already for a few hours. Settled in for the night, resting from all the celebration, but certainly not ready to sleep anytime soon.
Still a bit breathless, Rhy traced his fingertips over Alucard’s bare hip and smiled at his beautiful, tousled husband. “This seems like a good time to bring out the liran,” he said, referring to the enchanted mirror from home that was able to show memories, but exactly as they happened and without bias. “Unless you had something else in mind to do first?”
--
Alucard was pleased to devote the whole day to Rhy and to their relationship. Each anniversary was worth the time and attention. Each day together was a celebration in and of itself. Still, it was more this night. More them. More focused. More grateful. More joy. And it had only been two years, and also it had been two years.
So his smile grew when Rhy brought up the liran. It had always been in Alucard’s plans, a way to view and reflect on what it was they were celebrating… seeing it afresh, unaltered by what had happened since and the place they had reached. At least, the liran would show the memory unchanged, but what it meant, what it was, had grown richer over time. “It is a good time,” Alucard agreed.
The mirror was only across the room. He returned it each day he used it, stored in their bedroom -- the most secure room in the castle (arguably the treasury came close second) -- as the precious item it was. Only a handful of steps separated them, but Alucard lazily whorled one wrist in a selfish and perhaps also vain use of magic. The mirror floated over just as lazily, coming to a rest, in its soft black bag, atop them both. Gently, Alucard removed it and set the protective cloth behind.
“Do you wish to see it beginning with you or with me?” Alucard asked. Once they were together, it did not matter. Who shared the memory only affected the very beginning.
--
Rhy loved the easy way that Alucard used magic. Had envied it, before, but now he too often showed off in the same way by lighting and extinguishing their lamps and candles. Now it only thrilled him to see Alucard show off any of his skills -- with magic, with languages, in battle, or when he worked a room. What an incredibly talented man he had married. It was amazing to remember that this amazing man was in love with him.
“You,” he answered, cuddling up against Alucard’s chest. He wanted to skip seeing most of his reunion with Kell, a painful memory now that Kell wasn’t here. His brother would appear briefly in the memory as Alucard arrived to see him, but he would be spared the intensity of their reunion. He had used the liran multiple times to remember Kell, and would do so again, but this was not the time for brooding over his brother’s absence.
--
Balancing the mirror between them, Alucard held onto the handles and focused on the memory. It unfolded on the mirror, Esa’s meowing the first sound clearly heard. The cat twitched her tail from atop the back of the sofa, when she heard herself. Alucard’s eyes lingered on himself -- pacing back and forth across the generous ship’s cabin -- before he chose the bronze clasp and walked toward the medical bay. The nerves and uncertainty were easy for Alucard to read. Not only did he know himself, but he had spent so many hours studying matters in the liran. By its nature, he was always present. Even without his thoughts or emotions coloring the memory, he had gained much experience with how his emotions showed in his posture or his voice.
While he walked the halls of the cruise ship, Alucard glanced over at Rhy, smiling. How nervous he had been… to have to share what he needed to share, again. It was not a judgment. Alucard would possibly be more careful, if he had to do it again. So much time together, with so strong a relationship, would make it more difficult not to give that away with every gesture or a slip of the tongue. How careful he had been, not to pressure Rhy with what he didn’t know, what he had not -- and still, naturally had not -- lived. He sighed, leaning just a touch more against Rhy, comforted simply being together.
--
It was sweet, and a little heartbreaking, to see Alucard’s nervousness in the memory. Rhy pressed his hand warmly over his husband’s heart as they watched, reassuring. He understood why -- he had gone to great pains to make this reunion difficult for Alucard, on purpose. Because that was what had seemed logical and appropriate back when he’d thought Alucard had abandoned him without a second thought and come back to manipulate him, knowing that he was soft. He had been so, so wrong.
He’d almost forgotten, until he saw it in the mirror, how tired he’d been, how devastated, how hollow; he could almost see himself weighing the benefits of sleeping with Alucard just to feel alive against the toll it would take on his self-esteem to be used like that. He saw how he’d been holding the weight of trying to save his city, his world, how he’d expected to die trying and how heavy it was to still be alive. His clothes were a tattered mess.
And he saw how, when Alucard said I came back for you, to make sure you understood what happened, his own face in the mirror revealed the barest flicker of hope. “There,” he whispered, pointing a finger at the glass without touching it, to make sure Alucard didn’t miss it. “Do you see? That was when I started to believe you.”
--
Alucard nodded at what he hadn’t let himself have hope that moment it happened. His heart beat just a touch faster, dragged ahead as surely as the tides were swayed by the movement of the moon. His breaths were even and deep. Alucard had turned over the events that had torn them apart more times than he could count. Aloud, however, the count was much lower. There was so much more, so much better, to discuss, to think over, to speak about. Though he had practiced the words in his mind so many times before that conversation two years before, it had still been the first time Alucard had discussed them with such an open heart, with more than the bare bones of the facts (that had been with Kell, in case he had died on their journey to The Going Waters and back, if he had died in London fighting Osaron, if anything had happened). For how much of his life his father had loomed large over him, Alucard spoke of him and that issue rarely, even with his friends. He knew anyone could read the book and get some account of it for themselves. It simply wasn’t how he defined himself.
The conversation had not gone exactly how Alucard had anticipated at the time. Rhy had moved relatively quickly, once his words finished. That first explanation had been enough. Alucard’s disgraceful return in chains wasn’t raised… hadn’t mattered to Rhy. Rather than holding himself at a distance, asking more questions until he had fully probed Alucard’s separation, and despite the semi-public setting not being at court, where he had to be the king, he had stood so close to Alucard it would have taken so little for them to kiss. And the response, the command, Tell me how you feel now had been all Alucard had to hear to know. The cresting wave had fallen and split, the tension dissipating.
“And that,” Alucard said, “is when I knew you would have me.” For he had known his answer before putting it to words. London, holding both Rhy and Anisa, had been his north star for years. The home he would return to. The home he had here.
--
It was thrilling to watch himself come alive, to hope -- and yes, to fear, but for an entirely different reason. In just a few moments Rhy had gone from heavy, exhausted, barely holding on, to standing, moving, hoping, wanting. As he watched his fingers curled into Alucard’s chest, feeling afresh the anticipation of getting to have, again, what he’d wanted so badly and then lost. He watched for a moment longer, not wanting to miss Alucard’s emotional confession by responding.
“Mm,” Rhy agreed, “Yes. If you’d already confessed to loving me, I would have kissed you right then.” He grinned up at Alucard. “Admittedly, the moment you walked in the door I knew I would end up in bed with you, one way or another. I felt so awful, I just wanted you to make me feel better for a moment, even if I would have hated myself afterward. But this way, I don’t hate myself, and you’ve made me feel better for two years and counting.”
He glanced back at the mirror; they were kissing, laughing, apologizing, and then Rhy was the one confessing his feelings. In bed with his husband, Rhy sighed happily. “Saints, I love a happy ending.”
--
Alucard had purposely found and kissed Rhy before the tournament. It had shown that Alucard had not only returned to London, was not only reclaiming his name for himself, but that he still wanted Rhy, could not enter the palace without thinking of him, a brief moment to make sure that Rhy’s attention would linger on him during the bouts, to guarantee the show before all three empires, nobles and commoners alike, carried out before the one it was for. Alucard had always done well under pressure.
The kiss had not, however, clarified them or where they stood or what Alucard’s intentions toward Rhy were. There had been a second meeting, a heart to heart, meant to happen before Alucard attended the victory ball. Not to secure Rhy’s hand but to ensure he understood Alucard’s feelings and intentions and felt the weight of their entirety upon him. And a few more kisses at least. That hadn’t happened. Kell had disappeared. Rhy had fallen. And Osaron…
Rhy had gone on so much longer, not knowing what was between them. It sat with Alucard through the laughter and kissing, through the happy ending. The brightness and joy shined brighter than the dark moment. “Whenever you need me, I shall be here,” Alucard said. “To make you feel better, and for every happy ending.” It would be theirs. Two years was too short a time altogether.
--
Rhy leaned in, pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Alucard’s jaw, just below his ear. “You’re my favorite coping mechanism,” he said lightly, grinning against Alucard’s skin. “The warmth of your skin and your heart. It’s impossible not to feel better when you’re near.”
He glanced back at the mirror, watched himself pull Alucard into the bed and wrap around him. The way they had cuddled then was much tamer than the way they cuddled now; there had been so many more clothes in the way, so many more protective layers around their hearts to peel away. They were gone now, or at least, if Rhy was wearing any more emotional armor, he wasn’t aware of it. If it was there, he would discover it later and remove it, too.
He brushed a thumb over Alucard’s cheek, traced the silver veins down his neck. “I will always be here for you, too,” he said softly. “To soothe every fear, every painful emotion, and to share your joy.”
--
The mirror didn’t require both hands, so Alucard held Rhy closer. He wasn’t worried about them or their relationship. How they felt about each other. That too was a safe point, an anchor. Through thick and thin, Alucard always wanted to come back to Rhy, to be with him even when he was not good company. It happened rarer and rarer these days. But they were human. It happened.
This night was a happy moment. Joyful. Whole. Still, watching the memory in the liran raised the memory of his father. Many days, many weeks, Alucard lived with hardly a thought of him. Incredible truly. Ironic, perhaps, that their anniversary of all nights brought him forward. Alucard sighed slightly.
“Sometimes,” Alucard shared, “for brief moments… I wonder. For the same reason we can be blessed to have Anisa with us, with another chance for life… I wonder if my father might come through the portal.” He looked over at Rhy. “I’m not scared of him, not anymore. And I know worse people have come through the portal.” Objectively his father failed to compare to some from other universes. “But I simply would rather not he coexist where I am, ever again.”
Even a younger version, like the Maxim Maresh that had so shortly visited them… Back when there was light in his father’s heart… Alucard simply didn’t want it. Perhaps it was selfish, but the man was dead, and the certainty that had provided him had done wonders in so many ways. It was not the happiest topic, but as Alucard had asked and Rhy accepted, they were doing their best to share everything. And just as Alucard had known -- sometime -- he was going to have to tell Rhy about his father’s death and his hand in it… he shared this too.
--
It was an unpleasant subject in a happy moment, but Rhy loved Alucard for sharing it, for immediately taking him up on the offer to soothe any unhappiness. “The portal is a blessing and a curse,” he agreed grimly. “We cannot prevent him from arriving or hasten his departure through the portal if he does come. How best could we handle that, for you? I imagine Anisa complicates things.”
That was the only way he could think to truly help, aside from simple platitudes or distractions. Rhy was a planner; he liked to think through things, plan for every contingency. But these were not plans that he could make. He was not the one who would be most affected by the arrival of Reson Emery.
He was aware that the answer might be violent. If not for Anisa, he suspected Alucard might want to kill his father, burn his body, dump it in the middle of the ocean. Whether or not he would carry that out was a different story; taking Anisa into consideration, Rhy doubted it. Normally Rhy was opposed to violence at almost any cost, but Reson Emery was an exception. The level of violence he had directed at his own son—torturing him, trying to have him killed—was immense, unforgivable, both with his own hands and the hands of others. As a ruler, tasked with objectively doling out justice, Rhy would have jailed him for life. But the justice system had failed because of his privileged status, his friendship with the king, and so Alucard had taken his father's life into his own hands.
But that was at home. At home, Alucard would never have to worry about his father again. Here, the portal took away that guarantee. Rhy was ready to do anything, including murder and the following cover-up, to protect him.
—
His hands occupied, Alucard leaned his head back to think. His wrists didn’t itch or burn, but he felt the scars keenly. This place had its own rules. And his father, should he arrive, would be given a chance. The means with which Alucard had handled matters at home were not exactly available. No assassination looking like a natural death. A kind and painless end, all things considered. No one -- to Alucard’s knowledge -- had actually gone and killed a fellow displaced of their own free will. Some had fallen under mental sways, such as in the latest confrontation. But everyone, thus far, had held their distance.
He sighed. “I would not worry so much only for my own sake,” Alucard said. “I’ve broken his hold on me. And Reson would have no privilege to cover any wrongdoing. I do believe, without any arrogance, that I could hold my own against him. The stronger magician. And as experienced, one on one, with swords.
“But Anisa, as you said,” Alucard sighed. He closed his eyes. She was older, years older, than when Reson died, when last their father had seen her. He could well imagine Reson advocating for guardianship of his daughter on the grounds she was his daughter. Alucard had trusted Berras -- for all his violence and ill temper toward Alucard -- with Anisa’s safety. She had never been a threat to him, and Berras had treated her… acceptably after Reson’s death. He could not say the same of Reson. Anisa’s safety had been a part of the reason Alucard saw him dead. She had crushes on classmates, with a clear inclination similar to his.
“We should speak with the Bureau preemptively, so that Reson cannot claim guardianship of Anisa, no matter what he tries,” Alucard said. “And we should plan for how to keep her safe from him.” Honestly, Alucard had not entirely ruled out violence. Where it was needed in defense of his sister, were it provoked, Alucard considered what he was willing to do. What was safest for Anisa, physically and emotionally. “Perhaps also the school. And research what might be needed for a restraining order. An official one, here, and whatever the Bureau might help enforce on cruises. I don’t want Anisa’s life to grow smaller or dim because of him. All of that first. It’s the most proper, aligned with local law and displaced custom. And should that be enough, I do not care whether he lives more. His life, after my mother’s passing, was as much a curse upon himself as on his children,” Alucard said.
He squeezed Rhy’s shoulder where his hand rested. “And prepare… should that not be enough, should he endanger her and not be forced to live in a cell for however long he lingers, what further escalation we may need.” His voice was hard at the end. Alucard did not wish to kill his father again. He had hoped the violence in his family had come to an end -- even back home, even with Berras still around -- and preferred it not return. Alucard valued Anisa’s life even more.
His face turned toward Rhy, and Alucard’s face softened. “It is always better to be prepared, and I could not have a better partner,” he said. For better times and for worse.
--
“We should certainly speak to the Bureau,” Rhy agreed. “If necessary, we have the liran and the books about our world to back our testimony. There is no reason why they should not believe us, no grounds for them to change her guardianship.”
That part, in truth, he had not even considered. There was no way that he or Alucard would allow Anisa back under her father's control. “We could also add me, and perhaps others that we —and she— trust as secondary or tertiary guardians, on the off chance that the portal takes you, even temporarily. And I wonder if we could file the restraining order, or at least prepare it, in advance of his arrival?”
His fingertips continued to trace Alucard’s cheek and jaw, and through the strands of his hair that fell across them, briefly tangling his fingers before pressing the hair back. He smiled at his husband, though his eyes were serious. “And if further escalation is needed, no matter how far it must go, you will not have to do any of it alone.”
—
Blood was not always what came first for people. Enough displaced had that experience for it to be understood. Alucard and Anisa were blood, siblings, but Alucard had raised her for most of her life. It was not a matter of forcing his will upon her. It was better to include her in some of the planning than not, both with the Bureau and the school. Alucard had not terribly considered the possibility when she first arrived and for some time after that. Indeed, it took being reminded of his father strongly to begin pondering the situation. For all he knew, Anisa had considered it since she arrived.
“As much as we can do in advance, we should,” Alucard agreed. “Regardless of this or any other reason, I very much believe we should add you as a backup guardian. In this place… I could even simply be a facetwin or a child myself. There are many reasons to do as much, and each of them is enough on their own.” Alucard had not managed to bind them together, not that anyone would know if it worked or failed until it was called upon. As ever, it was best to rely on more than one avenue.
He turned enough to kiss Rhy’s hand, soft and gentle. “Thank you, Rhy,” he said honestly. It was not a decision kings made, perhaps, but Alucard had pondered, decided, achieved, and held the knowledge of it all alone for years at home. He was strong enough to do so, when it was necessary, but Alucard so greatly preferred having Rhy’s support and company, no matter how dark times became.
“Let us leave that until tomorrow,” Alucard added. “We know what we’ll do. And tonight remains for us.” And preferably not the alignment of Rhy’s arrival matching his father’s to the day, should it come. He chose to believe it. And shy of that to believe they could handle it, even letting the matter rest for one night. His father could not steal from them.
--
Rhy nodded; that was what he had meant by Alucard being taken temporarily. The portal had many ways of changing them or separating them that were subtler than disappearing entirely. “I am happy to be her guardian,” he said. “I can go to the Bureau with her tomorrow before school to get that part done. And I will look into the process of a restraining order.”
He smiled at Alucard, leaned in to kiss him, to help draw him back to the celebration of the night. “But not tonight.”
He traced his hand down Alucard’s side, turned his head to look back at the liran. “Shall we watch our first dinner as well? I remember blushing quite a lot.”
--
The three of them were family. It was a public record of a longstanding fact. Anisa was capable enough to speak for herself, when she wished, and Alucard was immensely fond of seeing Rhy and Anisa together. They had both been important to him for so long, living in the same city, yet they hadn’t known each other personally. Those aspects were the most fun to think about. And they returned his mood toward what the night was meant to be. The kiss sealed it.
His gaze turned to match Rhy’s, and Alucard shifted his focus, so that a new memory started, instead of the remainder of Rhy’s time in quarantine. Their room resolved, the two of them comfortably using the network and, in Alucard’s case, reading. Rhy’s shift toward something else started the scene, and Alucard smiled. “I was showing off for you,” he mused, “and continuing what I’d intended back home, so much as was possible on the ship and to learn in two days.” He chuckled. It had been long enough, with Rhy, that he didn’t always remember that time, before Rhy, most clearly. It had been spent learning all he could and planning ahead, always.
--
“I loved it,” Rhy admitted, amused by the look on his own face in the mirror. He grinned at Alucard. “I still love it when you show off.”
He had also felt so well cared for, that Alucard had not only anticipated his needs but planned ahead to sweep him off his feet. He was surprised to see, however, the moment that he left the room, Alucard’s face fell. It was an expression that he recognized now, his grief for Anisa. He cuddled in against Alucard’s chest, arms going around his waist to ward off any remaining fragment of that emotion.
They were likely never going to be entirely happy. Their past was complicated and heavy, and it was not entirely behind them. There would be future things to grieve as well, disappearances and trauma. “I had a moment in the bathroom like that too,” he said softly, remembering. “I suppose everything caught up to us once we were apart.”
But Alucard’s face lit up in the memory as soon as Rhy re-entered the room, and so did Rhy’s; he smiled to see it. “But we can always find some happiness together.”
--
They matched. Alucard’s red was in Anisa’s memory, fresh and fragile. Life carried on, buffeting them along no matter how sad or happy they were. A blessing for one and a curse for the other, perhaps. That was how life was meant to work -- in balance, ever changing. This too shall pass. So they marked it, celebrated it, and appreciated what they had.
“Indeed, even the thought you might come was both a comfort and motivation to make such plans. And so doing, the time passed without being stuck only in grief,” Alucard said. “And together, happiness comes readily.” If they did not both love planning and showing off their skills, they wouldn’t need to do so to find happiness. Time permitted that. Being reunited.
He grinned. “I believe I tried bites of multiple dishes from almost every restaurant my first day, so that our date was honestly my first meal at Pacific Rim,” Alucard added. His thumb rubbed gently against Rhy’s skin. “I answered your first question tens of times to myself… to find the right balance and words. I’m good with words at a moment’s notice when I need to, but I do like taking the time to find the words that fit my meaning, that don’t simply work but shine.” That communicated better. It wasn’t just showing off.
--
Rhy understood the hope that someone might come; he felt it now, for Kell. If he had arrived from the same point and Alucard had not been here, he probably would not have wished for Alucard, not in the same way. Some part of him would have craved Alucard, but the rest of him had believed they were not meant to be. He’d never been so happy to be wrong.
“It was a very effective answer,” he said, amused by watching himself get flustered in the mirror. “Your words were well chosen. That yet…” He smiled, pleasantly warmed by remembering the certainty of Alucard’s intentions even then. “I needed to hear it, to know how serious you were. Even if it was hard to take it in immediately.”
--
Timing had become better with practice, and Alucard felt a flush of pride that it had told Rhy so much, exactly as intended. That wasn’t news, but he had put more into their relationship, immediately, than into their surroundings. Alucard hadn’t ignored them, but he knew his priorities.
The details Alucard shared, which had been so fresh and new in his mind, were old. Not forgotten or spider webbed. He had the mirror, of course, and found reason enough to use it. But courting Rhy -- in Arnes -- was no longer part of his life or his concern. Issues of inheritance no longer mattered, and while Rhy looked as good as ever in a crown, he was not a king here. They were far more anonymous than that. It helped them travel so much.
“I knew more than you did about us, then,” Alucard nodded. “But I dare say you’ve fully caught up.” And Alucard was glad for that. He still took effort for Rhy, but it wasn’t playing catch up. Alucard didn’t have to measure out his emotions and intentions, holding himself back. Even in their happy meal, he still felt the weight of what Rhy didn’t know… not just about them but about him. He both loved this memory and was glad that was what it was. They had made it so much further in two years.
--
“It was more than just knowledge,” Rhy said gently, smiling at him. “My heart needed to be convinced it wasn’t going to be broken again. Time, and statements like that about your intentions to stay with me, helped quite a bit.”
He pressed a kiss to Alucard’s chest, over his heart. “But of course, knowing you better -- knowing more about us -- helped a great deal too.”
Resting his head against Alucard’s chest, he added, “I wouldn’t mind watching you embarrass me in public with our sex tape again… but I admit just now I’m more in the mood to just watch the sex tape.”
--
Rhy was right. Knowledge didn’t quite mean the same as an emotional truth, intimacy, or trust. But once known, Alucard knew those would come. That faith had carried him forward toward opening himself up. Loving and trusting that he could do so with Rhy, even when Rhy guarded his heart.
Alucard raised a brow. “I would enjoy either,” Alucard was inclined to stop the memory before the scene returned him home. But he enjoyed that memory nonetheless. The serious issue it shared didn’t reduce the joy. “Do you want to watch that one? We could go back earlier and watch more of it. Or…” he motioned toward the liran. “With this, we have a multitude of options.”
--
“I had actually meant that as a play on words, just to let this particular scene continue,” Rhy admitted, “But now I kind of want to watch some of our early nights together. Perhaps the very first.” He smiled at Alucard. “To watch myself fall in love with you all over again. And perhaps…” He traced his fingers on Alucard’s hip. “If you remember the first moment you knew you loved me, you could show me that one, too.”
--
That night had ended like many of their nights. Alucard’s use of the liran hadn’t focused on such matters, but his whole life was possible to draw up onto the mirror. “I fell in love with you without meaning to, without even being aware of it at first,” Alucard smiled. He had felt safe with Rhy, safe to have a pleasant enjoyable evening, full of flirtation and physical intimacy. And he returned home feeling light as a leaf on the wind. “But I still remember realizing it… and being so far gone in love with you there was nothing I could do about it.” Alucard smiled, shaking his head. “Other than tell you, of course. Had I realized the possibility of that.”
Even remembering that evening, Alucard let the scene shift even earlier -- to the night at a bar when he finally returned to order a drink while Rhy was still at the bar. Striking up conversation. It gave the impression of happenstance. But Alucard’s perspective showed it wasn’t that. He had known what he was doing and had observed Rhy long enough to meet his eyes and and hold that gaze. And all that followed.
--
Rhy’s smile widened, his expression warm. He kissed the skin over Alucard’s heart. “Falling in love with you was like being caught up in a summer storm,” he said softly. “Sudden, unexpected, and thrilling.” He looked at the mirror again as he saw the image change out of the corner of his eye. “Saints, we both look so young.”
It was most dramatic in Alucard, who had lost years of his life, gained silvery scars. But Rhy was some years younger, too, and he was so much more innocent. Rhy could see it in his own features, the way he carried himself.
In the mirror he turned to look at Alucard as he arrived at the bar, and from the bed, Rhy pointed at his own reflected face. “There,” he said. “Look.”
There was a sudden true warmth in his smile, a light in his eyes, a shift in his body language. A subtle swoon and then, moments later, the even subtler insecurity of wanting and desperately hoping to be wanted in return. Easily misinterpreted as purposeful, an act, or solely sexual interest, but as Rhy remembered it, everything in him had just responded to Alucard’s presence, his intention, everything that he was. It still happened to him now, it was just somewhat less dramatic when he felt it several times a day. “Do you see it now that you know me better? You already had me.”
--
His body carried so much less, the history Alucard had lived since not etched into his body so many ways. The elasticity of youth, the lack of scars, the smoothness of his hands… Sometimes, when Alucard simply remembered this night, he forgot some of those details, especially the ones about him. His mind and memory was as focused on Rhy as he had been in those moments. But he watched Rhy’s reaction closely, just as he had that night.
It had meant hope, a chance, a reason to carry on with confidence both fully felt and barely more than a puff of air. “I could see the signs, the words, the language of your body,” Alucard said, “but I didn’t speak it yet. Not more than I had picked up only observing.” He couldn’t help shaking his head. “Ah, what a fool I was then. I knew how incredible you were, how rare your good character... but not what we had.” He laughed lightly. “I hadn’t intended, originally, to approach you. You were the prince, you had more attention and eyes on you than anyone else I could have attempted to be with… but you…” He had been drawn, strongly enough that even his patience gave out.
Alucard kissed Rhy’s curls. “We’ve become much better at sharing all that,” he said, rather than insult their younger selves for only beginning, for not understanding the whole when they were only just starting down the path. Even if they had stumbled down it quicker than either of them intended.
--
“I was irresistible,” Rhy finished for him, cheekily. He still enjoyed, reveled in the confidence he felt in their relationship. He had always, always been insecure in his relationships, even to his family, and the turbulent forces around them that had taken Alucard away from him had left scars. But here he was, absolutely certain of his place in Alucard’s heart and at his side. He lifted his head to grin at his husband briefly before returning his gaze to the mirror. “As you were to me, my love.”
He rested his head back against Alucard’s shoulder, and sighed contentedly. “I am so very grateful for how far we’ve come.”