log; buffy & sam WHO: Buffy Summers & Sam Winchester WHEN: January 19, evening following the birthday party. WHERE: The Bunker. SUMMARY: Defining the relationship, a bit. WARNINGS: I can't think of any.
"I'm just taking the liberty to assume that this was all your doing," Buffy told Sam as she looked up from the third sparkling water she'd had that night. She'd started with soda, had some beer, but graduated back to something without alcohol or an abundance of sugar. It was January after all. "And if so, thank you, because you are the best." Boyfriend? Maybe. Could she say Boyfriend? She didn't, and instead took another sip. "I guess that's everyone except you and me?”
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“Pretty much,” Sam said. “Though I did have some help.” He smiled at her, still nursing a beer. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you had a good birthday.”
He glanced around, and then agreed with her assessment. Even Gabriel and Selina had disappeared somewhere, though whether to their rooms or somewhere besides the bunker was hard to say. He suspected they might have left to give him privacy with Buffy, and that was a little embarrassing, but not unappreciated. “You’re welcome to stay,” he added, and then, “Whether it’s just for a few hours or… the night. If you want.”
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Buffy could feel her cheeks heat just a little bit because, god, like, she'd thought about staying the night a few times, but that was definitely a new step, and a birthday present she hadn't exactly anticipated, if one she'd kind of hoped for. She turned the cup in her hand and looked up at him. "I'm free, and I would like to give you a very personal thank you for everything you did to make this happen." A beat. "The others that helped I'll send a thank you card," she grinned.
She put the cup down and stepped over to reach for his hand.
--
It was Sam’s turn to get flustered by that, but he grinned back at her, pink cheeks and all. He offered his hand and, when she took it, gave her hand a squeeze. “Should we… talk first?” he asked, tentatively. “I know we’ve been meaning to do that, and now the whole truth thing is over.” He paused. “If it’s not a conversation you wanna have on your birthday, though, I get that.”
--
Was it a conversation she wanted to have on her birthday?
That was a question, although even if it for some reason went really south, it wouldn't be the worst relationship issue she'd ever had on her birthday. That was always going to be courtesy of Angel losing his soul and coming back as Angelus after they'd slept together.
"We probably should talk, maybe," she suggested, as that thought occurred to her. After all, relationships where they just went to the next level without conversations didn't always traditionally work well. "Cause, well, it might not hurt to do that before um," she'd have started flushing again, but she was still a little pink cheeked. "I stay the night."
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“That’s what I was thinking,” Sam said, smiling at her with equally pink cheeks. “So, I think we already covered that… I’m over my last relationship and ready for another one.” He paused. “And that usually my biggest difficulty is that my life is dangerous, so it gets dangerous for people around me. But you get that, and it hasn’t been as much of an issue here.”
He considered what else needed to be said. “I’m not necessarily looking for anything super serious, but I’m not… afraid or worried about that, so I don’t want you to hold back on telling me how you really feel.”
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"I'm not really thinking super serious right now either," Buffy returned. "I mean, I'm open to more serious, maybe, but that's if we keep staying together, and like, we both want it. I don't not want it ever, I guess is what I'm saying, but it's not what I'm trying to find right now."
Buffy nodded, because Sam had mentioned being over his last relationship earlier, and it had been the one thing she'd been somewhat concerned about originally - not really being entirely certain about the timeline there. "It's obviously been a while since I've been in any relationship," she pointed out. "And, the last one I had, the guy like left town, and really had an issue with me being a Slayer, and like the whole super strength thing, but I don't get the impression that bothers you?" At least she hadn't gotten that impression thus far. "I mean, if it does, you should say so, cause I'm pretty much always going to have this super strength thing, and I'll use it if I need to, but also maybe that's a benefit if your life is frequently dangerous, cause you won't have to worry about me as much."
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Sam offered her a smile. “I think we’re on the same page there. And I think that, if we’re together for awhile, that’s a conversation we can come back to. But this is so new, and it’s not a pressing thing for either of us, so I don’t think we need to talk about it yet.”
He took her hand as he listened, and nodded in understanding. He knew full well how the hunting life could drive people away. It was more miraculous to him that there were people who had stuck with him even when they had a choice -- even just as friends. But he was absolutely grateful that they did. “No, it doesn’t bother me,” he said. “It’s… well, not quite a bonus, although kind of a bonus, but mostly what I mean is, the kind of relationship I want is with someone who understands hunting -- or Slaying. Because every time I’ve tried to have a relationship that takes me out of that life… it always pulls me back in. And someone else who has a life like mine… like yours, you get that.” He grinned. “And I don’t have a problem with you being stronger than me.”
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Buffy nodded. Wondering about those relationships a little, but it wasn't necessarily the time to get into deep conversations about history. There was space for that, but maybe not right now. "The number of times I've wished I could just be a normal girl. But I don't think I've ever dated anyone completely normal, at the same time, anyone that's not been a vampire, it's been kind of a challenge to date," she sighed. Riley had been a long time ago in many ways, but he'd also been her last real boyfriend. It had just been a mess.
"I'm going to get it though, cause I can't stop being the Slayer. Even here where things aren't as bad, I'm still doing patrolling and helping with the portal, and there are still things that pop up from time to time that need me to get involved, and I'm not going to be 'normal' in that respect."
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“Man,” Sam agreed wistfully, “Me too. I’ve wanted to be normal my whole life.” He paused thoughtfully. “I think, at least in a place like this, maybe at home for you too, we can kind of have a balance? Hunting and Slaying don’t have to be our whole lives. We can have some normal around the edges of whatever abnormal we need to deal with. It’s been pretty much working for me since I got here, anyway.”
He finished off his beer and set it aside. With his other hand, which still held hers, he traced the side of her thumb with the pad of his. “Whenever things pop up I’m going to get involved, too, and I think continuing to patrol even in our downtime is a good idea. But we can also have times like this when we don’t have to deal with any of that.” He smiled at her, and then knocked with his free hand on the coffee table. “Knock wood. I hope I didn’t jinx us by saying that.”
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Buffy nodded. "In some ways Atlantis was really 'normal'. It wasn't, but the missions were scheduled and we usually knew in advance where we were going. Sometimes you'd have strange things that were unexpected, but it was so much more normal from home where apocalypse could just occur any random Tuesday, you know? Tumbleweed… we have stuff, but it feels a little more normal. Most of the time."
She laughed. "If you've jinxed us, Sam Winchester!" But then she stopped, smiling at him, and leaned forward to offer him a kiss. "I'm not certain what either of us would do if we didn't have patrolling, though."
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“It must have been nice to have a schedule,” Sam said thoughtfully. “Sometimes I wish the portal was a little more predictable. But I don’t expect that to happen anytime soon.”
He smiled at her, and leaned in too, slightly flustered by the kiss. “Right. I don’t think either of us wants to let our guard down.” He squeezed her hand, cheeks slightly pink. “So… I think I’m hearing that we both do want a relationship, but not a really serious one. Does that mean… not seeing other people? That’s what I’m used to, although I guess I’d be open to trying something else.”
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"It doesn't seem to be the nature of here," Buffy sighed. "We still had glitch disappearances there too. Like people came and went more... like there was a coin that we all picked up to go there, and then we had a choice to stay and help, and then some people would choose to go home, so you could say actual goodbyes and things. But sometimes things would glitch and they'd just be sent home. Or… I guess, maybe other places. Cause I was there, then I was here. But mostly missions - those were more scheduled and predictable."
She hadn't really talked a lot about her time in Atlantis outside of some basic things when she first arrived, and it had been long enough now that it legitimately felt past - but it was nice to talk about it for a moment.
Buffy nodded. "I'm not really a multiple people type of girl. I'd rather just see you," she grinned. "I kinda like you."
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Sam nodded. She had told him a little bit about Atlantis, though this was somewhat more detail about what it had really been like. “I’ve wondered if people go other places from here, too.” Dean, specifically, but: “But we don’t need to talk about people leaving on your birthday.”
He smiled at her, squeezed her hand and brushed his fingertips over her knuckles. “I’m not really a multiple people type of guy either. And I kinda like you too.”
--
Talking about people leaving really wasn't a great birthday discussion, and felt particularly ridiculous when you were being looked at like Sam was looking at her. She stepped forward, into his personal space like she might be claiming it, and maybe she was. She smiled, looking up at him. “Now about that thank you…”