WHO: Vanessa Ives & Ethan Chandler WHEN: The day after the NPC plot started WHERE: Grandage Place WHAT: Ethan taking care of a wounded Vanessa and a confession. TRIGGERS: No
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In the initial aftermath, Vanessa had needed to be closely monitored by the medical services that Tumbleweed offered. Ethan hadn't fought against this and for as strained as their relationship was, he knew Victor would do everything in his power to help Vanessa regain her health. And with her being monitored by the Bureau, Ethan had been able to be close by in the immediate aftermath. He dedicated a large portion of his time to the Bureau, after all, so he was only a brief walk away. Thankfully, she hadn't been required to remain at the medical facility for long, and was able to return to Grandage Place. With her return to the house they shared, it was on Ethan to take care of her moving forward.
Ascending the staircase to her bedroom, he held a tray tight between his hands and upon reaching her door, nudged it open gently with his shoulder. Catching sight of her, he gave a quick flash of a smile for a greeting, before sitting down upon the edge of her bed. "Good Morning," he said as he set the tray down on the bedside table.
Vanessa had been staring out the window, pondering on whether or not she should take up the two angels who offered their healing services. She desperately wished she wasn't a burden on Ethan, knowing that he had to cut his work at Marina's short to check in on her. When the door clicked and opened, she turned her attention to the man she often thought of as home.
She missed Sir Malcolm, who filled this home with his big personality and an air of sophistication. Had it been him coming through the door, Vanessa would have felt no less relieved but less of a burden. Ethan had a life here. Malcolm lived now to serve others. Still, she smiled.
"You're in a good mood this morning. It suits you."
The smile had been offered not only out of general happiness to see Vanessa, as was generally the case, but also as a forthcoming apology. His skills when it came to the kitchen were never quite as sharp as they ought to be. The basics were mastered but he'd never consider himself decent at the skill. He simply hoped the dishes were palatable.
"Better day than some of late," Ethan agreed. There'd been commotion at the Bureau but he'd woken to the messages well after the need had passed. He suspected he'd be clued in on what occurred when he did get around to being able to go back in on Tuesday. "How are you feeling?" He asked, as he moved to pull the chair close to her bedside.
"As if I trouble you too much, Mr. Chandler." Vanessa felt it was time for some honesty. It would not be brutal, as most of their lives had been before their arrival here, but it would be heartfelt. There would be gratitude aplenty as well.
Being mostly bedridden had worn Vanessa out. Long periods of time lying there often did. She longed to get outside, to smell the air and walk somewhere. She wanted to visit Aziraphale and perhaps take a long walk around to see Klaus in his home. "There was some commotion last night."
"You are of no trouble, Miss Ives." Though unhappy with the circumstances, and wishing she were not relegated to this bedroom, Ethan wouldn't have chosen to be anywhere else but by her side.
He leaned forward, resting his arms against his kneecaps and clasping his hands together, before nodding in agreement. "Unusual amount of appearances at once. I imagine it's been sorted by now." He'd noted Victor had gone in as well as Miss Swann. That was unsurprising. The man had an iron work ethic. "No one we know, I believe." They'd have been informed by now.
Vanessa reached for his hand, something she didn't often allow herself to do since he had so cruelly left her to walk alone after she'd cruelly rejected him on the moors. They kept hurting one another, and yet coming back. Though her strength was weakened by the injury and the medication to keep the pain at bay, she held it tightly.
"There are only one or two people I miss dearly. I have already made my peace with Mina." Sir Malcolm was one. She found herself missing his cigar and whiskey scent along with his deep, rich voice. Mr. Lyle was the other. He was kind, even when he was frightened. "You've had two painful reminders of your past this month, and I am sorry."
Ethan gave a nod of solidarity. He doubted that Vanessa and he had an identical ache for individuals from home but he suspected that one was certainly a commonality. He'd not left Malcolm's side after Vanessa's passing and it was Malcolm whom he now granted the title of 'father.' In his eyes, Malcolm was far more deserving than his own had ever been. His hand squeezed hers in tandem as his thumb ran back and forth delicately to her skin.
There was a slight falter in his gaze at her apology. Victor's waking nightmare had caused him a heartache that he had not anticipated but he'd kept from discussing his feelings on the matter. All discussion of Brona, or Lily as she'd been christened by the man he once considered his brother, had been relegated to talk of how to contain her. He didn't want her harming others in the town nor Victor, regardless of their complicated feelings.
And the other painful reminder?
Perhaps Vanessa was speaking of something else but all he could think of was the bullet to her abdomen and how she'd been caught in his arms. It'd been an all too familiar moment and one where he was beyond grateful for modern medicine. "It could have been worse," he offered because it was a truth. Lily could have been a true representation of who the woman he'd once loved had become. Vanessa could have been pulled from this life once again.
He'd endure the pain.
Vanessa turned her hand over in his, letting her fingers gently explore the inside of his palm and wrist. Her last moments with him in their world turning over and over in her head. He had rejected her, and she had accepted it. Knowing what she knew of the future, she understood how she could let things grow so badly. Vanessa was not meant to walk alone, not completely.
Her face was as pale as ever, and there were dark circles under her eyes. Living life in a bed was not for her, despite the few times she'd been dealt that hand. "I made a mistake on the moors."
There was the slightest turn of his head. When he thought back on the moors, he preferred thinking of the kinder moments. Shared stories of youth, meals cooked around the hearth, lessons based around one another's talents. Preference, of course, wasn't always and he could summon up less treasured memories. An argument over the Lord who had taken her beloved Clayton from her and one further still over his inevitable end.
Ethan had wanted the weight of another's life to never be a burden for Vanessa to bare. She'd made the decision regardless of his opinion on the matter. But he knew well enough that this wasn't the mistake that was being spoken of. He did not see a world where Vanessa lamented avenging her friend. No, this spoke to the night of a storm the like of which Ethan hadn't seen before or since. The night of fires and lightning.
The night of which they'd come together in the midst of the storm. And she'd broken from his embrace and pushed him away. 'We are dangerous' rang through his ears as a vivid memory. "I recall you trying to correct that mistake," he offered, though cautiously, for it spoke to the night he had to reject her himself.
"I was too late. Or perhaps knowing that I saw the darkness you try to hide, you thought to shield yourself the way that I always have: by cursing myself to walk alone always." Vanessa withdrew her hand reluctantly, folding her arms across her stomach and clutching the blanket there. The old metal headboard clinked against the wall.
There was deja vu in the air, but for once Vanessa believed this was real. "He showed me something, in Evelyn's chambers below the house. Another life, a happy life. One that has eluded me since I betrayed Mina. He offered me this happy life, if only I'd submit and be his Mother of Monsters in the future."
His gaze flashed to their hands as she began to pull from him and his fingertips curled in to press against his palm once it was free. There was some aspect of truth to what she spoke. He hadn't wanted her to see what he truly was and there was an element of wounded pride at the truth becoming unveiled. However, it had been far more than that. If he hadn't have had his past inescapable at his heels? And if Sembene hadn't have lost his life? Perhaps.
There was a heavy sigh and he turned his head to gaze upon her. "You deserved a happy life, without stipulations or succumbing to his demands." Of course, as he said this, he couldn't help but wonder. What had that potential life been? And could it be obtainable here now for her? If anyone deserved it, it was her.
"I want you to know, Mr. Chandler — Ethan — that the fault in that was mine and mine alone. There are things in this Pandora's Box that cannot be hidden away once it has been opened." She referred to the multiple possessions that she had to deal with, to the thing that she may become if she ever gave in for one second. What that would mean for the world. "I have always known the end of my story, that it would come sooner than later, and I hesitated to be the cause of anymore pain for you."
He wasn't positive he agreed. Regardless of some of the choices of her past, did she deserve to be alluded contentment and joy? When she'd done so much to try and rectify the past; and she'd given everything she had?
He rose from the chair, cautiously, without giving a direct response to her concern. He felt too far from her with her hand retracted and the connection lost. He re-positioned himself on the edge of the bed, right by her side, and gave a nod of his head. "Neither of us wanted pain for the other." It'd have been worse, trying to have a happy life with Vanessa, without addressing the sins of his past. They'd have always been looking over their shoulder and one day the luck would wear out. He drew in a breath, "We have the opportunity for a new ending of our stories here."
There was the strangest sensation caught in Vanessa's throat. She didn't recognize it until she'd analyzed it in her head. Just a quick little deduction, and then she realized what it was. It was hope. She'd never thought about a new ending, not after the revelation of what was inside her, the potential she had. She found herself smiling, honest and hopefully. It wasn't a wide smile, or even a particularly big smile, but it was there and it had not been felt since she was a child.
"I heard they have these things called dates. They're supposed to be very popular."
There was a raise of his brows at the suggestion before he gave a half smirk and a tilt of his head. "Fancy new words for new eras," he commented, the joyous look remaining on his face. He'd have once thought to ask for permission to call upon her company and favor, back in their old lives and time, but he felt he could adapt to this new concept of a 'date.'
"Soon as you are on your feet, we ought to indulge in one of them."
She thought about Aziraphale and Gabriel's offer to heal her. She thought about the doctor's orders. She thought about her own suffering. Could she step outside the realm of possibility to be healed by a pair of angels from another dimension? There were, after all, stranger things.
"Then I ought to speed that up. Don't you agree?"
He wasn't certain how Vanessa intended to speed up her recovery but he'd been in this dimension long enough to know that it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. There was magic in every walk of life, wasn't there? "If you know of a way to do so, I'd say I wholeheartedly agree."
She did know and intended to reach out as soon as she felt well enough to look at the network. Perhaps a few more days. More perplexing though was the idea of a date. They had then in their time, of course: going to the theater, to dinner, a walk around a park or gardens. What did people do in this millennium?
"I daresay we'll have to find something more our speed than … parkour or skydiving."
There was a slight huff of a laugh. "We can save skydiving for a follow up excursion." He didn't even know for certain what parkour was but he suspected it was something a bit too ahead of his time. "Second or third, at least," he added with a smile. Perhaps it was too optimistic but he hoped that this notion of new endings would allow for more than one date between them.